BLOGMAS -Day 7- Single in Season

 

lights blogmas edit

Week One Down!

 

Christmas. 

Such a magical, special, beautiful time.dajf0[1]

Twinkling lights.

Happy tunes.

Nostalgic movies.

Tasty treats.

Decorations galore.

Glitter and glee everywhere.

Right?

A time full of love and laughter.

Family and friendship.

And for some- that extra special love that just makes this time of year burst with happiness and cheer.

Whether it’s a Boyfriend, Fiancé, or Husband, it’s just somehow perceived as “better” with that person.

Right? 

But what do you do… if your single?

Because how is it that around the holidays being single, just feels even more prominent?

Mistletoe kisses.

In front of the tree pictures.

Family gatherings have everyone paired off.

And there you are, alone.

Ugh, of course. 

Here we go again.

And I’m supposed to be cheerful and happy?

I’m going to be really real here…

I’m not going to act like it doesn’t bother me. 

It definitely does.

I love romance, I love the idea that two people can fall so much in love with each other that they realize they have the only one they want to be with, forever.

I have always felt that way.

In my heart of hearts, I love, love. 

And being around so many people who have that, when I currently do not, definitely weighs on a girl. 

And you start to question…will I ever get my chance? My guy? My moment? My love?

I’m sure many of you ladies can relate.

And I will admit there are moments within the holiday season where I will feel my heart ache, and I will wish I had that special guy sitting next to me holding my hand, or look over to see him chatting with my guy cousins (who are probably ranking on him, because that’s what they do). Or baking cookies and wishing I could ask his opinion, or someone to just do all the holiday greatness with- like shopping for gifts, seeing the Christmas lights, or visiting Rockefeller center, or helping me conquer my current fear of ice skating. Or simply just sitting on the couch watching Home Alone in Christmas PJ’s.

Now that I think about it, I’m quite sappy. Haha. But hey I don’t care. You can’t regret what you want, if it’s really something truthful in your heart. And that is the image I have in my heart when I think about being in love during the holidays.

But then I look around and I realize having a relationship would only add to my already happy holidays. My family is crazy. And every year feels the same. Stressful and rushed. 

But I love my family. I love my holidays. 

I love visiting family, going to church, baking goodies, exchanging gifts, sipping hot chocolate, eating my heart out.

I love dressing in silly t-shirts or ugly sweaters and other crazy accessories [See: antlers & Christmas light necklace], chatting with my cousins, playing with the kiddies, and still finding A Christmas Story Christmas Day Marathon to be the greatest thing ever.

I love our bootleg chimney with our old school stockings.

I love my best friend Christmas day I have every year with my best friend Roe!

I love the holidays.

And as much as I may have my moments of sadness at times, I don’t think I would want to ever take the memories I have away, even though I’m single.

Sometimes you have to look at what you do have, and focus on that, rather than focus on what you don’t have. 

Happy Holidays, my singles, we got this! 😉

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pilot Update-Writer’s Corner

So when the Summer first started I posted this blog post about wanting to really work on my own pilot episode for a tv show concept I’ve had floating around my head for years and years and YEARS. And I mentioned wanting to get that pilot done this Summer. I wanted to track my progress by posting updates here on MLW as I go, and yet here we are heading into Fall season and no pilot yet. Ugh! So frustrating! I do this to myself all the time. pilot-season[1]

I did start to write it, and then I just hit a wall.  I just don’t know how to start it all. I have lived in this made up world of characters for so long but to put an official beginning to it all, is so challenging to me. I have all these ideas for my characters, and story arcs for further down the road, even further seasons down the road, but nothing for right now. I have tons of dialogue ideas and storylines for how love stories will play out, and who will be paired with who. But to actually sit down and come up with a way for it to all begin…I’m kinda lost. I have some vague ideas, but I don’t know how to put them into words. How does a writer write, without words?

You research I guess? Right?

I’ve rewatched some of my favorite tv show pilot episodes, and I’ve researched the writing process.

Here are a few things that I learned…

*Scripts can start with a teaser- which is up to 5 pages and shows location/short opening to the story.

*TV scripts usually have 45-63 pages.

*However, each page filmed is about a minute long give or take and so they advise you to keep script length between 50-55 pages.

*Scripts are broken into usually anywhere between 4-6 Acts.

*Scripts can contain character description.

*Act breaks signal commercials- the goal is to leave a solid “cliffhanger” at the end of each act.

*Each Act serves it’s own particular purpose:

Act 1-Current story at hand.

Act 2-Heavy Conflict, trying to get out of it.

Act 3- Lowest point, conflict winning.

Act 4- Characters begin to prevail.

*Each 5 Act teleplay should be between 9-12 page Acts, while 4 Act plays should be 15 pages per Act.

*Less is more- do not over describe in script, just enough to convey style and atmosphere, and substance-dialogue included-to not overwrite dialogue. Ask yourself does the character NEED to say this?

 

So let’s hope these tips can help me on my pilot writing journey.

More updates to come soon!

I’ve still got a long way to go!

 

* I do not take credit for the image used. *

-<3-

 

 

 

 

An Open Letter To College Students

I touched upon this topic a few years ago in THIS POST but I wanted to do a recap or an updated version rather.

I’m 26 and now that I’ve been out of college for a few years, when I look back at that experience I realize now that there are things I would probably do different. So to all the college kids out there, or even to high schoolers- take the benefit of my experience. Because I’ve gone through it. I’ve got your back.

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Tips

  1. Plan ahead- It’s always smart to be proactive. Research your colleges, schedule tours, review the courses they offer. 
  2. Choose a school that is right for you- Make sure that the school offers courses in the things you are interested in.
  3. Take college seriously- It’s easy to put it off, to procrastinate, we all do it. But Junior year in high school you should really start the college process.
  4. Utilize scholarships- If you are lucky enough to get any, use them. Because every college kid will tell you, college is expensive! And loans are REAL!
  5. Take your hobbies seriously- Sometimes we love doing something and we think it won’t be anything we can make a career out of. And sometimes we could not be more wrong. Your interests are important, they are what make you, you. And they can point you in the direction of your future.
  6. Study your craft- You don’t think you know enough? Research! You’d be surprised how much information you have available to you with just the click of a button. Look it up, practice it, test the waters. It’s always good to learn something new.
  7. Ask questions- Ask people questions, people who know about your craft, people who have been through the college process. Ask away!
  8. Don’t buy the textbooks- Yes you read that right. I remember buying all the books and then barely using them, and then being stuck with them. And they cost SO much money! What I started doing was making copies. If you’re lucky your professors will give you a syllabus, which can narrow down which Chapters you’ll need to have access to for the semester. Copying is way cheaper. Or maybe split the cost with a friend and share the book. The Libraries often have the textbooks that you can take out too.
  9. Bond with peers with similar majors- This will help you to navigate your coursework and will give you someone to confide in when you graduate and get thrown into the work force.
  10. Have a back up plan- Just in case, think about a variety of options for your career. I’m NOT saying to give up on your dream. But it may take you some time to get it rolling. You will have to pay your dues before you get where you want to be. So make a plan of what you will do once you graduate and build from there. You’ve got to start somewhere, right?
  11. Take internships- Every entry level job still recquires a bit of experience. Internships will give you that extra edge.
  12. Talk to your professors- They are filled with information. And they have been where you are. Ask their advice.
  13. Join clubs- This will stir up your creativity and can help you to make friends all while being able to practice your craft.
  14. Don’t stress- College isn’t clicky like high school, it’s OKAY to be a bit of a loner sometimes.
  15. Take Summer jobs- You will learn how to budget your money and what it means to gain your own finances. And it will feel good to be able to pay for things yourself.
  16. Keep on top of your credits- When I was in college, every major had a checklist and each year you knew which classes you had to include in your schedule. Each major is different. If you don’t stay on top of your credits, you may end up having to stay longer than you planned in order to finish. Check those pre-requisites!
  17. Keep in touch with mentors after graduation- Time passes and you feel weird reaching out. Will they even remember you? Keeping in touch every now and then will make sure they won’t forget you. And it will give you someone that could possibly help guide you through the job hunting process.
  18. Have fun- College can be really stressful, make sure you take time to enjoy the experience. Go out with friends, attend a school function. This time- it only happens once in your life, and it goes by so fast.

 

I do believe that it’s not the college that makes the experience, but the student. The student makes the college work for them. You can go anywhere, as long as your determined you have the potential to do well. These tips can be helpful to current college students, upcoming college students, and future college students. You know what they say Pay it forward and “Be who you needed when you were younger!”

 

Happy Back to School Season Friends!

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

 

Future

The Future.

What marks them?

At what point in our lives does the future stop being a factor?

It’s ever changing.

Tomorrow is the future.

Until it becomes today.

Until it becomes yesterday.

But there’s always a new future put in place.

Constantly daunting.

Hovering.

Unknown.

What do you do when you worry?

When you fear?

When you don’t know what comes next?

Missing something.

You don’t have “it.”

Self doubt overcasts the sky above you.

Your sky clouded.

Raining insecurities.

Thundering negativity.

What would you tell your best friend?

Go for it.

Believe in yourself.

You got this.

What would you tell a child who doubts their abilities?

Keep trying.

You can do this.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

You can be anything you want to be.

Be yourself.

Tell yourself the same.

Take your own advice.

Don’t tear yourself down.

Don’t beat yourself up.

We’re often our biggest critics.

Be your own cheerleader.

Your future is what you choose for it to be.

You will fail.

Get back up.

Regroup.

Start again.

Your dreams are worth it.

You just need to start somewhere.

You may not know where that is right now.

I don’t either.

But you will.

Be your own future.

Inspire yourself.

Wake up.

Good Morning, Love.

Welcome to the Real World.

It can suck, but it can also be something really beautiful.

 

-<3-

 

 

Scatter Brain

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I recently have been feeling like I have a lot of things going on and I’m getting overwhelmed.

I know what else is new? Right? 

But I’m stuck.

It’s that time of year where it’s getting hotter. I work closely with the school system, so it’s nearing summer break and all the kids are starting to lag and slow down and I feel by some extension that I am too.

There is this improvement list I keep thinking about.

Things I want to do and be better at, for myself-my career, my health, for my students, for my family, for my friends…

I teach 5 different creative activities and although it was my choice, I feel like I’m not doing as well as I hoped. I always have this vision and then it gets crazy and scattered and I end up scrambling in the last weeks.

And yet I am still also needed in a lot of other areas in my life- I’m in three more weddings- two of which I am maid of honor for, I’m going to be a Titi (An Aunt) in the fall I’m going to have a niece! And I’m planning for family occasions that keep popping up…the list always has something new added.

So I feel like I’m trying to be everything to everyone and still tryin to have some sort of social life and make time for myself. 

My relationships in my life with family and friends are everything to me.

And I want to show up for everyone… for everything.

And lately, I just feel kind of all over the place, and pulled in many directions.

I feel like I’m dropping the ball, and I don’t know what to do.

To the point where I just want to throw myself on my bed and sleep to forget it all.

I’ve been going and going since what feels like forever, and I’m still going.

I don’t know how to get over this bump in the road.

There is so much I want to do for myself, and I feel like my career has been put on hold for so long, and I know that it is my fault.

But I’ve made strides to better my situation in the past and I feel like now I’m just stuck and safe.

I get worried that my dream of being a writer will never happen for me.

I know I have to push myself, and when I lack motivation, I need to learn to push past it.

But it’s difficult. For sure.

I don’t know where to start.

How to change.

I’m always buying, and doing for something else, that it’s easy for me to forget or slack on going after what I really want for myself.

I need to learn how to prioritize.

I need to learn how to use my time wisely.

I need to plan accordingly and not let myself get stuck in my comfort zone.

I need to realize that the change is within me, and no one else.

I can’t keep saying I’m stressed and overwhelmed and then just shut down.

Because what good is that then?

I can’t just keep going through the everyday routine without any progress or change.

But I don’t know how to do that.

And this is not a “feel bad for me” post, this is literally my way of trying to sort this mess out.

I know I will, I’ve done so in the past.

One day things just clicked and did what I had to do even though it was scary…even though it was hard.

So I’m hoping I get my click into place day soon.

Thanks for letting me vent, friends.

And if you can relate, tell me in the comments how you push past that feeling stuck feeling!

XO

Michelle

 

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

“Don’t Cry” – Something we should never say

Dont Cry

 

“Don’t Cry”

We say it all the time.

To infants.

To friends.

To ourselves.

I found myself holding back tears often. In fear of showing “too much” emotion. Yet as I grow older I realize the importance of allowing yourself to express those emotions. It is not good for you, for your health, for your relationships, to keep things all bottled up inside. It’s important to let them out.

“No cry.”

“Stop crying.”

I’ve caught myself and others saying this to my goddaughter.

It’s a reflex, I think. An attempt to soothe, to calm, to comfort.

We say it because we are uncomfortable in the moment, in the sadness. In seeing someone we care about dealing with that sadness or hurt.

We say it because we think we are helping. Because we don’t know what else to say.

We are indeed trying to help.

There are good intentions behind it.

But at the age of 3 now I have seen her try and stop herself from crying when she is sad, or hurt, and it’s a lesson she doesn’t need to learn. Not now. Not ever.

“Don’t cry.”

We say it all the time.

But is it right?

When we say these things, we are telling ourselves, telling others that it’s not ok to feel.

That feeling whatever it is we/they feel is wrong.

But it isn’t.

Crying is natural.

We have tear ducks for a reason, no?

It’s a bodily function.

Blame it on biology.

Or applaud it, for allowing us a form of expression.

It’s ok to cry.

It’s ok to feel whatever it is you feel.

Whether you are right or wrong, in that moment, you feel it.

And no one can change that.

No one can tell you how to feel.

Because feelings aren’t something you can always control. And that’s ok.

And I’ve learned that sometimes the tears are just going to come.

And you have to learn to be ok with that.

Screw it.

Let the tears flow.

Sure it’s awkward.

It creates some unnecessary anxiety in you.

“What will people think?”

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with me?”

“I’m a total mess.”

“I look ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe I let this happen.”

No, you can’t control it all the time.

No, you are not a mess.

You are human.

Life will go on.

You will recover.

You will be ok.

Life is going to take a toll on all of us at some time, whether you are a child or an adult.

Whether you are crying because you lost a loved one, because someone broke your heart, because you finally got that job you always wanted, or because well… you are PMSing and watching Pocahontas. #Trustory #ColorsoftheWind #GetsMeEverytime

These thoughts of uneasiness stem from that gut feeling in you that thinks you’re doing something wrong. #ThanksSociety That somehow crying in front of people means you will never recover, or that it’s the end of the world for your social life.

But everyone is human.

People understand.

And one day it’ll be your turn to comfort a friend in need.

When you let whatever hardship you’ve been harboring out you feel a sense of relief and release. Letting go of whatever it is that is troubling you.

It is OK to cry. In Public. In Private.

Cry- if you want to.

Cry- if you have to.

Cry- because you need to.

And never let anyone make you feel less because of it.

It takes just as much strength to be vulnerable in front of someone that it takes to remain “put together” all the time.

Strength isn’t void of feeling.

It’s allowing yourself the space and time to go through the emotions you need to feel.

Once you do, you’ll feel a little bit lighter.

Cry like it’s your party and you want to.

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images or gifs used.*

 

 

High-school & College Advice.

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So I was talking to my younger cousin a few weeks ago at a family party. She’s about to enter high school and I wanted to share some thoughts with her. Considering I’ve been where she is, looking back now there are things I know for sure that I would have done differently. And I wanted to share some of the lessons I learned along the way with her, because I know that I wish I had someone to tell me these things when I was just starting high school or transitioning to college.

I told her the best advice I could give her was to take high school seriously.  Take your interests seriously. And to follow them. Some people chalk their interests off to being just a hobby, something to past the time. Well guess what time is precious and obviously if you’re using it to do something you enjoy, it means something to you. And that’s the best way to spend it. Your interests may point you in the direction of your future career. Try everything, and explore what you’re good at. This way when you get to college you’ll have a much clearer picture of where you want to go, and who you want to be.

I think there’s this misconception about high school and college. That high school is just there to get you the grades to pave your way to college. A time to still be immature and go with the flow. Your future is years and years away. But guess what? It creeps up on you pretty quick. And before you know it you’re a freshmen in college trying to navigate semi adulthood. Wondering why the hell you feel so ill prepared for all of this.

At the same time, people think college is the time to find yourself, and find what you want to do with your life. You don’t have to declare your major until your second semester anyway. But guess what? In college, shit gets real. And if you prep yourself in high school, your aim will be much more precise in college. College can definitely be a time to find yourself, but all’s I’m saying is don’t limit yourself to your comfort zone. It’s nice to have a schedule and to find your groove, but trying the things that scare you, and going after the things you want are much more rewarding. Don’t hesitate, be the person you want to be. Be the best version of yourself. Go for it! Try out for your school talent show. Create a new club. Enter a contest. Meet new people. Make new friends.

I’m not saying to give up your high school years, be a kid, have fun. But do the work. You’ll never regret it in the end. Because it will pay off.

I’ve always been a school kid. It’s always been my thing. Even if I wasn’t particularly good at a subject, I’d try. I’d get tutoring, I’d ask to do extra credit. I worked my ass off. And I’m proud to say that in college, I wrote papers like a boss. And somehow I managed to find my groove in every class. (Even philosophy) My shit was together on an academic level. But I found out too late that I was in the wrong place for what I really wanted my career to be.

I went into college having an idea of what I wanted, and came out with a more precise view. Some people would say that now is the perfect time for grad school. It’s always been on my radar, it’s something I’d like to do in the future. Go to school specifically to study the art of screenwriting, writing for television and film. But I can’t fathom taking on more loans at this point. It’s just not feasible. The only thing is now I feel like I still have so much more to learn. In my case college was only my first step. And I’m sure that’s true for many. But I’m someone who wants to have a plan and now that plan is all out of whack. I wish I would have done all that soul-searching in high school, then I would have been way ahead of the game, once I got to college.

End result is, we can’t go back in time. All we can do is move forward. And make the best of the now. Going to college and finding what I want to do and getting to explore a few ways to tell stories through video and writing was a vital piece of my life’s puzzle. I don’t regret that. But now I have to take it and put it to good use. Everything in life is a stepping stone. This was just my first one. Time to find my next one. Good vibes and good things to come.

So I leave you with this. Study your craft. Do research. Ask questions. Try. Fail. Try again. Plan ahead. Bond with fellow peers with similar interests, pick their brains. You’re gonna need them around later to give you feedback on your work. Choose the right school for you. I can’t stress that enough. But most importantly find something you love to do. And if you find your interests vary, do it all. Because you can. That’s what double majors are for. Breathe. Take breaks. Learn the beauty of a mental health day. Understand it’s a lot of work, but you can do this, and you will get through this. And Graduation day will feel all that much sweeter. Find what you love, and go for it. Too many people in this world, have jobs they hate. And if you ask me, that’s a shame. No one should hate going to work in the morning. It’s a terrible way to live. Because pardon the outdated term but, You Only Live Once.

Best of Luck this year young-ins!

You got this!

Rock what ya got!

-<3-