What up with that?

I’m thinking of introducing a new segment called… “What up with that?”  Cuz let’s face it, there’s a lot of weird shit in this world haha… Anyhow this is going be a #quickpost today… so my ladies out there, I do hope you can relate!

For the past two Christmases I’ve gotten Sephora gift cards and I haven’t gotten to use them! But the other day I went shopping and finally remembered to bring them…both cards total amount came out to $75. $75 sounds like a good amount to spend in a makeup store huh? I least I thought so, in my naive little brain haha.  But guess what $75 later and I walked out with only 4 items; FOUR!!!!! I guess being that I’m not that much of a makeup freak, I didn’t realize how expensive good make up actually is. I mean $18 for lip gloss…what are these people smokin’??? However, I do love to get dressed up and put all the makeup on, so I was excited I got to use my gift cards, but at the same time I felt like the money was being cheated! Everything these days is so overpriced, (yes I’m clearly a frugal 75 year old woman haha). I walked around that store for probably about 45 minutes trying to decide what I wanted. I was so confused and a tad bit overwhelmed; so many brands of makeup, hair care, facial care, perfume…my god! Don’t get me wrong I’m a girly girl at heart, but I was raised kind of simplistically. I’m not that materialistic, and I don’t fall into the brand names much. The only thing I buy from Sephora is the bareMinerals face makeup. But it is nice to splurge a little every once in a while, especially when it’s a gift card,  haha.

What I bought….

Clinique take the day off makeup remover for lids, lashes, & lips- $18

bareMinerals marvelous Moxie lipstick; “Be Free” (a nude shade)- $18

bareMinerals marvelous Moxie lipgloss; “Hot Shot” (a bright pink shade)- $18

Sephora Waterproof Mascara; “Noir Black”- $12









Btw every girl knows this face well…

How every girl puts on mascara! #girlcode

How every girl puts on mascara! #girlcode

So although I enjoyed my purchases, makeup is highly overpriced #Whatupwiththat, my advice…unless you’re going out, don’t wear it…and if you do wear it on a daily basis, don’t abuse it…when you’re older your non wrinkled face will thank you 😉

Smile it’s almost Friday!


This Generation is Screwed… #adatingsatire

It’s interesting. We are conditioned as young girls to believe in fairy tales, to believe that a prince will come and sweep us off our feet. And never in that fantasy is that prince ever a bad man… he’s always kind, and considerate, and rides in on a big white horse. He’s never arrogant, or conceited or a complete moron! He never walks around destroying everything in his path, wrecking all those who he comes into contact with. NO… instead his main goal is simply well…to make his princess happy. He does what he says when he says it, and he means what he says, he doesn’t just say it to say it. HA what a crock! Huh ladies? 😉

These fairy tales are just that…tales. Tales for little girls to grow up believing  in something, something better than the norm.  Something to strive for, I guess in a way, it’s building up young girls’ ideal image, in the hope that one day they’ll truly know what they’re worth. And honestly I guess that’s a good thing, but at the same time it can definitely be misleading, haha. Because let’s face it, the shit you see in movies are just that…in movies. Guys aren’t really like that. You can work something up in your head, only to have it completely go in the opposite direction, and then your heart gets disappointed.  And guys say we’re the complicated ones! The same way guys expect girls to be “domesticated” well girls expect guys to treat them with some respect. (btw say a girl’s place is in the kitchen and you will get cut!) 😉

What is it with the  dating world today?  Well I guess you could call it dating, although I think there are a few other choice words for how guys and gals get together nowadays. Why is writing a comment on Facebook or texting a girl the equivalent of actually asking her out on an actual date in person. Although I will say that’s more technology’s fault than the guy’s so there’s room for slack there. But  Why is it “Yo girl”,  *like really who are you talking to, do I look like I’m one of your boys? because if so we have a problem* instead of “Hi, how are you?” Why is it “Oh she’s hot, I’d tap that”…instead of “Wow she’s beautiful, have you seen her eyes?”  Why do guys think it’s lame to be good boyfriends (or just good guys in general) when their around their friends, as if it makes you somehow less of a man? Give me a freakin’ break. Call me old-fashioned, call me an old soul, I don’t care. I believe in love, I believe it is the ONLY thing in this world that is even worth living for. I believe all the money and success in the world couldn’t replace what it feels like to be loved by someone. You can’t truly appreciate anything if you don’t have someone to share it with. It’s like going to see your favorite artist in concert alone. Where’s the fun in that???  It’s sickening to see how things have changed. But then again I guess most guys are dogs…although my bet is there are a few good ones out there… but that’s like trying to find a grain of rice in a cornfield…. Extremely difficult and frustratingly annoying!

Well woof woof, move on, cause if that’s a line, I ain’t bitin

xoxo #keepcalmandcarryon 😉

P.S. word of advice…chivalry is not dead.

and let’s not forget ladies have a few issues of their own to iron out! If you go along with his bullshit, you are just as wrong as he is!

So ladies….put your middle fingers away, cover up your boobs…and respect yourself enough to know you’re worth so much more.

Oh now I get it… Girl Philosophy & Guy Psychology Just Don’t Match

-Rant over-


You know you’re a writer when…

For so long I spent time daydreaming of what it is I felt I was good enough at to make a future of. And for so long I felt that there wasn’t anything that I was good at, at all. Surrounded by a sibling that is pretty much good at whatever the hell he does, you can only imagine the pressure one puts upon themselves. Regardless of that fact, I have always had a strong connection to writing, and television and movies. I love the idea of this world you yourself can create, get lost in and everything you put into it, is based upon your hopes, your dreams, and your circumstances. It’s a unique way of getting everything you’ve ever wanted, without being selfish, for only you know what it is that can be for the good of the storyline. And no one is ever going to share your same exact vision. For a long time I didn’t allow myself to get caught up in whether or not I was a good writer. I often times would lower my expectations, in fear that if what I wrote sucked, well then I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised. I guess you can say it all goes back to that stupid saying “aim low, so you’re never disappointed,” which honestly is a pretty shitty way to live your life. Anyway…I think it was around high school when I realized writing was an important factor in my life. But it wasn’t until college that I really let myself explore the idea of screenwriting as a possible career. I guess I just never realized it was a possible career path.  I often wonder what marks a writer? How do you know you are in fact… a writer? There were times I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, but then I realized….screw it, that’s what I am…that’s what I feel closest to, that is what makes me happy… so for all my other hesitant writers out there, I came up with a few standard ideas of what makes a writer a writer…

You know you’re a writer when…

You’d rather live in the world of the characters you created then your own reality

You know you’re a writer when…

Day dreaming becomes visual story-boarding

You know you’re a writer when…

Your mind is racing with character ideas and dialogue, and your hands can’t keep up

You know you’re a writer when…

You think of your characters as little individual pieces of you, or those around you

You know you’re a writer when…

You have random notes, short hand plot lines and details all over your house in various notebooks, on post-its, on your computer, in your journal, or my personal favorite; typed into your cell phone (haha)

You know you’re a writer when…

You lose time writing a script, and you write into all hours of the night, but you’re okay with that

You know you’re a writer when…

Editing your work, becomes painful and you can’t let certain details go, because your writing has become the equivalent of nurturing your own child (lol)

You know you’re a writer when…

The simplest thing can trigger an idea

You know you’re a writer when…

You start to look at your favorite television shows and movies as research

You know you’re a writer when…

Music speaks to you through its lyrics, and you try to figure out why the writer wrote what they wrote

You know you’re a writer when…

Imagination trumps real life  experiences

You know you’re a writer when…

You question whether or not you’re a writer

You know you’re a writer when…

You feel something and the only way you can say it, is to write it down

That’s when you know you’re a writer


Brava…Demi Lovato…Brava…

tumblr_mme81xUQrA1sq3y7bo1_1367871046_coverSo it’s no secret that I have a serious girl crush on the very beautiful, very talented Ms. Demi Lovato. She just released her latest studio album… entitled “Demi.” Demi has said that this album is very personal and that it is revealing and tells a lot about her and the things she’s been through. She’s expressed that it is possibly even deeper than her previous album “Unbroken” which is best known for nursing the inspiring ballad “Skyscraper” which captivated hearts all over the world. Needless to say, even though “Unbroken” was a stellar album and was received amazingly well by her very devoted and beloved fan base; the lovatics, “Demi” holds a greatness on it’s own.

Yes folks…she did it all over again. “Demi” is full of lyrics that hit home…for me personally I find Demi Lovato to be one of the artists who I feel I relate most closely with. It’s amazing, when I first heard her latest single Demi-Lovato-Heart-Attack-2013-1200x1200“Heart Attack” I could have sworn she and I had a conversation and then she wrote the song based off of our conversation, lol. She writes about what girls these days feel, and I truly think that between the combination of her out of this world vocal talent, her personality, and her beauty, she is a force to be reckoned with.

She has become such an amazing role model for young girls, because despite all the hardships she’s faced in life, she has managed to put a positive spin on it. She looks at it as a way to give the issues she’s faced a voice, and has used it to help others suffering from those same issues. Til this day she is asked in interviews about her past struggles with self-harm, eating disorders, drug abuse,  bi-polar disorder, bullying, etc, and  she manages to have a light humorous way of speaking about them. It’s in no way demeaning these issues, but actually showing that yea she’s dealt with horrible experiences, but was able to come out on the other side. She can learn to laugh at herself. Sometimes making light of our hardships is a way to help ourselves get through them, and allow ourselves to know that it’s all going to be ok.

Demi’s new album consists of 13 tracks (target edition comes with an extra track “I hate you, don’t leave me.”)

I would just like to share with you some of my favorite lyrics and tracks 😀


“Heart Attack”

But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yes, you make me so nervous
And I just can’t hold your hand

You make me glow, but I cover up
Won’t let it show, so I’m

Puttin’ my defences up
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack [x3]

Never break a sweat for the other guys
When you come around, I get paralyzed
And every time I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help


“Without the love”

And you work so hard to get me, just to let me go
Yeah you put me in the spotlight, just to steal the show
And you try to take me home like you’re DiMaggio, oh
It’s such a joke

Why are you singing me love songs
What good is a love song? What good is a love song, without the love

“Neon Lights”

Be still my heart ’cause it’s freaking out, it’s freaking out, right now
Shining like stars ’cause we’re beautiful, we’re beautiful, right now
You’re all I see in all these places
You’re all I see in all these faces
So let’s pretend we’re running out of time, of time

Baby, when they look up at the sky
We’ll be shooting stars just passing by
You’ll be coming home with me tonight
And we’ll be burning up like neon lights



I can’t sleep tonight
Wide awake and so confused
Everything’s in line
But I am bruised
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
Is it you?

Baby I’m a little blind
I think it’s time for you to find me
Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you’re there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace

Sing me to sleep
Say you’ll be my nightingale

I don’t know what I’d do without you
Your words are like a whisper come through
As long as you are with me here tonight
I’m good

“In case” (this entire song is perfect!)

I know
One day eventually
Yeah, I know
One day I’ll have to let it all go
But I keep it just in case
Yeah, I keep it just in case

In case
You don’t find what you’re looking for
In case
You’re missing what you had before
In case
You change your mind, I’ll be waiting here
In case
You just want to come home

Strong enough to leave you
But weak enough to need you
Cared enough to let you walk away
I took that dirty jacket
From the trash right where you left it
‘Cause I couldn’t stand to see it go to waste

You’re looking in that mirror one day
And miss my arms
How they wrapped around your waist
I say that you can love me again
Even if it isn’t the case


Demi and Cher ❤

“Really Don’t Care” (ft. Cher Lloyd)

You wanna play, you wanna stay, you wanna have it all
You started messing with my head until I hit a wall
Maybe I shoulda known, maybe I shoulda known
That you would walk, you would walk out the door, hey!

Said we were done, then met someone and rubbed it in my face
Cut to the punch, she broke your heart, and then she ran away
I guess you shoulda known, I guess you shoulda known
That I would talk, I would talk
I can’t believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you
You don’t deserve to know the way I used to think about you
Oh no not anymore, oh no not anymore
You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go


All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised

Now I’m a warrior
Now I’ve got thicker skin
I’m a warrior
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can’t get in
I’m a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Out of the ashes, I’m burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you’re nothing but a liar
I’ve got shame, I’ve got scars
That I will never show
I’m a survivor
In more ways than you know

demicdbooklet (4)

Check Out all of Demi’s Lyrics HERE

Check out Demi Lovato’s commentary on “Demi”

Parts 1 & 2

and if you haven’t already… pick up or (download) a copy of “Demi”


Overly Proud



I’m older…therefore wiser ;)


“Hi Mom” ❤

Is this real life? Did I seriously just graduate college 4 days ago? Holy crap, I guess I did. Honestly that day was a blur, thank god for pictures to look back on! But truthfully after all the studying and the papers, and the editinggggggg of my senior thesis, I can say it was all for something. I did it, I graduated college. For a while I thought I’d be stuck there longer, because I just thought it was too many credits to cram into 4 years, but I sucked it up, and I did it. And I’m so glad I did, because I got to graduate with all my friends. Regardless of all the stepping stones that came before graduation, now that it’s over it still hasn’t sunk in. It probably won’t until I realize in September that I don’t have to go back. It’s bittersweet really. I mean I can’t say that I’m not excited for the future, because I truly am, but school has always been my thing. It’s always been something to focus on. It’s always been a main priority, and now that it’s over with, I’m left feeling so strange. Granted I should be hauling ass and looking for a job, but people like me need a second. We need to gather our bearings and plan a thing or two. I’m not exactly the risk taker, or go getter type, but I’ve also learned that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. Regardless of the situation I know I’ll get through it, because me and the big guy upstairs are on good terms 😉 That and I have a pretty kick ass support system in my family and friends. That being said, it’s been a pretty hectic few weeks, and I haven’t gotten to post in a while so here’s a rare Saturday post 😀

It’s so easy to get caught up in who other people think you are

Who other people want you to be

Or even who you think you should be

Instead of focusing on who you truly are

What means most to you

969906_10200873766747645_1478099563_nWho means most to you

And accepting that can often times be difficult because you always want to strive for more

But sometimes striving for more, when you already have what you need, when you already have what you want…

well that can ruin it all

I’m not talking about settling, by all means if you are unhappy…never settle…ever

But it’s important to understand that perfection won’t ever come

It’s how you make your life circumstances perfect for you, that counts

It’s not about what that one is doing, or what this one is doing

Because they are doing what’s best for them, which is how it should be

So you should do what you want to do…for you

And you’re gonna hear millions of different opinions and you’re probably only going to agree or understand half of them…

if you’re lucky

But at the end of the day…guess what? It’s your life…not theirs, so do yourself a favor and live it the way you see fit184538_10200873772627792_872234977_n

The way your heart urges you to live it

And if you mess up, or you get hurt in the process

If you get fired or

if that boy or girl crushes your heart

That just means you were brave enough to take a risk

And you won’t ever have to wonder what if, or what could have been

That just means you’re actually living

And just remember you may make mistakes, hell you’ll make plenty

But God…he never makes mistakes…

Anyone worth being in your life, or anyone who wants to be in your life will fight like hell to be

I’ve learned that carrying yourself with Grace and Politeness does go a long way, but fate sooner of later takes over



So do your thing, and let god do his, you’ll be alright,

after all look how far you’ve already come

So to all my fellow graduates who are feeling a little aimless lately like me, I feel ya, and it will pass,

Best of Luck Classes of 2013, rock what ya got!

God Bless


College Graduate haha


Photos By Robert DeSantos Jr.

Welcome to the world Baby Sophia <3

So a while ago I posted a poem dedicated to my cousin Melissa and her husband Anthony and their upcoming bundle of joy. And  I am soooo overjoyed to say that bundle is FINALLY here!!! Throughout her whole pregnancy, our whole family kept weighing in on what they thought the baby would be… a Boy or a Girl, a Connor or Sophia, and it was indeed a little Sophia! She’s absolutely precious and beautiful and I can’t wait to baby sit her. When I went to see her at the hospital, I had her in my arms  for quite a while and I couldn’t help but stare at her in awe. For so long we anticipated her arrival.  And now she’s here in the flesh! It’s the most amazing thing, welcoming a new life into the world. Because it makes you rethink your worries about society and how cold the world can truly be. But looking at such a new little life, and knowing that you will be able to see her grow and watch her learn and see her smile and hear her laugh, lets you  know that this world has so much more to offer. I feel like my cousin just got engaged, and then I got to be apart of her wedding and now I get to see her welcome her first child. My cousin Melissa is like my sister, so seeing her now become a mom, is one of the most beautiful, and admirable moments ever. I’ve always looked up to her, and I think she’s going to be the most amazing mother a girl could ask for…p.s. her husband isn’t so bad either 😉 haha I kid, Anthony and I have a love hate relationship, we annoy the crap out of each other just for fun. I joke with him that I’m gonna be babysitting his daughter so she’s going to turn out just like me… just to drive him crazy! It’s all out of love! hahaha ❤

3_2287                            3_2287                                       its-a-girl

Congratulations Anthony & Melissa!!!!

Welcome to the world Baby Sophia! God Bless!





After ❤ ❤ ❤


Sophia your parents rock! 🙂




Dear Grandma, It’s been an honor…


Original Photo by Henry DeSantos,
Updated & Edited by Robert DeSantos Jr.

So today was my school’s film festival, and my piece was shown. Basically it is a Trailer for a documentary I’ve been working on for my senior thesis. The topic I chose is one I feel often gets thrown under the rug and many people don’t like to talk about it. I chose to showcase my Grandmother’s story and how she’s been living with Alzheimer’s disease. It’s something close to my heart and I wanted to shine a light on it. Partly because I wanted it to serve as an awareness video for those who don’t know much about it, and partly because I wanted it to serve as a comfort to those who do know, so that they know they are not alone.

It was an experience shooting this, because even though she is my Grandmother, I don’t think I even understood what it is like for her everyday, and for those who take care of her on a daily basis. And so by doing this it gave me a better understanding, it also allowed me to give my Grandmother a voice of her own, a voice that  has been taken.

When I first decided to do this project, I was really reserved. I was unsure about how I should go about it and I was worried I didn’t have enough experience to do her story justice. I didn’t want to step on any toes, and I didn’t want to do anything that may be misconstrued. I wanted to depict the situation for what it truly is, I didn’t want to take it and make it something it wasn’t. So I was really adamant about asking my family to let me know if they were at all uncomfortable at any time.

At first, I was a little worried that the voice over would be taken out of context, because she is unable to truly tell us herself, but what I was able to do was incorporate things she said when she could still convey her feelings. I had a long conversation with my aunts (her daughters) and they were able to tell me things she would tell them in the early stages. So that became the basis for the voice over and then I just tried my best to put myself in her shoes and write from her perspective as best I could.

Because the truth is no one knows what it is she’s thinking, what it is she’s feeling, if she sees things crystal clear, or if the world is just a bit blurry. There really is no true way to judge that. So I had to do my best and give her the voice I thought she would have. Because regardless the life that she was so used to has completely changed and that change is something that sadly, none of us can control and that none of us can reverse.

530723_10100699668141507_1409303760_nThroughout this process, I had the most amazing support system. My brother Rob, was my cameraman and cinematographer and all in all right hand man. Anything I didn’t know how to convey he was there to give me guidance, and being that he’s ridiculously handy most of my equipment came from things he’s made himself; steady cam, shoulder rig, slider etc. I honestly don’t think I could have done this without him, and because it was such a family oriented topic, I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to help me. If I could have brought him to my film festival with me, I would have because he deserves just as much credit as I do. So Thanks Bro 😀

Every cut I would make I would come home and play it for my parents and my brother. And I was constantly editing and fine tuning because I believe if my name is going on something that means this much to me and my family, I knew it needed to be everything and more, I knew I needed to give it my all. It’s not to say that it’s perfect, my professor always says “a work of art is never done.” And I truly do believe that. But at the same time, I recognized the point in time, when I knew I needed to let it go, let it breathe, and let it be what it needs to be. The first time it was shown outside my eyes and my family’s eyes, was when my professor viewed it in class to judge the progressive stage of it. And her reaction was really humbling. She was tearing up and said it was beautiful. And at that point I thought that was the best compliment it could get. However, she really lobbied for me  to push myself to put it in the film festival. I was a bit reserved but after showing it in my class, and seeing how they responded to it with such kind feedback, it gave me the motivation to put it in the festival.

To say that having your work displayed on a huge screen in front of a room full of people is nerve wracking is a complete understatement. Especially when your work is so personal and so close to your heart. But the response I got was even more humbling than any other I’ve heard so far. Each time my piece is viewed the end is met by complete silence. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so many mixed emotions in my life. It feels like an eternity, when it’s only a mere few seconds. It’s awkward because it’s difficult to judge what your audience thinks. But then the claps start and it’s truly a great feeling.

It’s a whirlwind to have people personally come up to you and tell you that your work is appreciated. It’s something I didn’t expect and I don’t know how to respond! I had one girl come up to me and tell me she cried because she understands it all because she has to take care of her dad. And that made every 4-6  hour editing day I spent in school for the past 2 months, all worth it. That was my goal, to reach someone. And to know I was able to do that was a huge accomplishment for me. This experience may have been difficult, may have been stressful, may have been emotional, and a whole lot of worrying was done, but in the end all of that only contributed to the fact that telling my grandmother’s story the best way I knew how, has been a complete honor. I thank my family and all those involved with this documentary for allowing me this honor.


Photo by Robert DeSantos Jr.


Photo by Henry DeSantos, Edited by Robert DeSantos Jr. 

In the words of my Grandma

Vai Com Deus” ….

Go With God” 


*The Documentary has been recently completed*

A Writer in the works…

So I’ve been trying to flip through my journals to find something worthy of posting today and I couldn’t bring myself to post anything. I guess I’ve hit a bump in the road. So rather than force inspiration, I want to share with you a really great quote I found online that just really resonated with me. I wish I remembered where I found it but I don’t, so my apologies to whoever owns it, lol.


Happy May 1st!