BLOGMAS -Day 4- A Broken Heart For Christmas Short Story

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Two years ago, I featured a Christmas story as one of my short story series pieces. While you wait for the next Chapter of my current series “Move,” why not check out…broken heart for christmas
Summary: Dean Sanders broke Lucy Michaelson’s heart years ago back in their home town of Oakland Valley, Minnesota. And since then she’s moved on- moved to New York, started her dream career. And so has he, or so they both thought. Everyone knew their story, knew their love was lost. But little does everyone know…there was always more to their story, more than Lucy ever let on. Follow their journey through awkward run ins and past memories- both good and bad. 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6 

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Let me know what you think in the comments below! 😀

*I do not take credit for any images used in my short story edits.*

-<3-

Michelle Leigh Writes- Short Story Series Collection

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while since I last posted consistently and on schedule. But I’ve been trying to think of something really cool to post and everything I think of just falls flat. But I recently had a cool idea. I’ve featured quite a few Short Story Series on this blog and I thought I’d do one big post including little summaries of each and the links to read them! In case you feel like diving into some dramatic love stories. So please, read at your leisure. 🙂

Mysterious Attraction (12 Chapters-3 parts each)

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Start the series from the beginning- HERE

Summary: Lexie is a power house, a femme fatale with a rather dangerous job description. She is soon forced to balance her need for control with her ever cryptic view on love and happiness. As an overly intense affair comes to light with a handsome yet kind man named Carter. Their attraction and pull strong. Lexie is forced to face some harsh realities about who she is and what she really wants her life to be. Her feelings are growing and it isn’t something she expected. Falling from lust to love with a married man was not part of her plan. What scares her even more…he’s falling back.

A Broken Heart For Christmas (6 Chapters)

broken heart for christmas

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Start the series from the beginning- HERE

Summary: Dean Sanders broke Lucy Michaelson’s heart years ago back in their home town of Oakland Valley, Minnesota. And since then she’s moved on- moved to New York, started her dream career. And so has he, or so they both thought. Everyone knew their story, knew their love was lost. But little does everyone know…there was always more to their story, more than Lucy ever let on. Follow their journey through awkward run ins and past memories- both good and bad. 

Love Conflicted (12 Chapters)

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Start the series from the beginning- HERE

Summary: Maggie is the crisp, clean, girl next door. Always playing it safe, always doing the right thing, risk is not a word she would use in her everyday vocabulary. But when she falls in love with Ricky- a man in the mob, she realizes that life is not always black and white. As danger creeps in, emotions heighten in this thrilling, yet sweet love story.

On The Run (10 Chapters)

ontherunposterNew poster

Start the series from the beginning- HERE

Summary: When Sage Renly finds herself running for her life, a mysterious stranger shows up in just the nick of time- Charlie Steinfeld. He becomes her ally and confident against her better judgement. It seems like their connection is unexplainable-almost as if it’s out of their hands.  This is more than your typical two strangers finding each other by chance and falling in love, story. There are dark secrets hidden in the eyes of these characters, and as every mystery goes- there’s always more than what meets the eye.

*Welcome Home (9 Chapters)

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Start the series from the beginning- HERE

Summary: Melanie Evans was so close to having it all, and then tragedy struck. Something that years later she still can’t overcome. There is only one person in the world who can help, who can understand her-Oliver King, her college sweetheart. And yet he is miles away- both literally and figuratively. When Melanie returns to her hometown, old memories stir up old feelings. So many different feelings. Will she be able to get out of her own way to achieve the happiness she’s dreamed of all along? Or will she stay in isolation and despair unable to let go of her painful past.

********

Also I am attempting to dive into a new short story series….I’m still working on the title (I have a bunch of variations that I can’t decide on) but here’s a quick little sneak peek at the summary-

Liam Whitmore is a wealthy business executive who goes through the motions of working in his corporate world day after lousy day, making deals and kicking ass at it. However he often feels uninspired, and unable to do what he really loves. Until one day he meets a younger woman named Aria Lenz, struggling to become a dancer. Her simplistic yet driven nature strikes up a spark of inspiration in him, and he makes it his mission to get to know her. Little does he know, it’ll be the hardest “transaction” he’s ever had to make. They’re worlds apart- will he finally get through to her, or will his fire fizzle?

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits.*

*All short stories are of my own written content.*

-<3-

 

 

 

This is my RIOT. [Part 3]

Some Of My Favorite Glenn Moments

“I delivered pizzas, why?.”- #BOSS

Well walker mishap. -AGAIN… #BOSS

“Hey , hey you in the tank…dumbass, you cozy in there?” -Meet Glenn (this scene makes me want to cry now)

Fast car, fast race.

Chair kill.- #BADASS

Glenn takes his Governor frustrations out on a walker & bitches out Rick for what happened to Maggie.

-This storyline was so interesting to me, it showed a side to Glenn that we’ve scene, but this was an elevated level. Glenn is protective of Maggie, and when he saw her barely clothed and with the Governor, knowing if he tried to save her, they’d both end up dead, he and Maggie end up going through some seriously deep stuff. You really see Glenn’s love and protection for Maggie throughout that storyline.

Aiden knock out.

Nicholas knock out.

“My blood my family is standing right here.” (@0:45)

 

Best Glenn & Maggie Moments

***These fan videos are gorgeous and have a lot of great Gleggie/Glaggie moments.

First time- this is such a brilliant scene, and it’s so sweet and funny.

Clock watch (@4:00) “I love you.” (@6:46)-I love how Glenn realizes the importance of Hershel passing down the watch to him, you can see the tears in his eyes. -I love how he tells her he loves her and how he says “it’s been true for a long time.” And then how he tells Maggie to stop the car and let him drive because he can see how in shock she is. #Gentleman.

Barn full of walkers gun down– “Maggie?” I adore this moment, because it’s as if he’s asking permission, he is hesitant, and doesn’t want to hurt her.

Photograph-This will always be one of my most favorite moments. I love how simple, and normal it is. And I LOVE how she kisses his hand before he leaves.

Green balloons– I love this scene so much because you can just see how deep their connection is, she was waiting for a sign and he knew to send one.

Shower Scene I love this scene because it’s a sweet moment between a loving couple and then you see it kind of take on a more serious tone when Glenn notices Maggie’s bruises feeling the urgency to comfort her. It’s beautiful. 

Baby Glaggie/Gleggie– I can’t. I just can’t.

***There are so many amazing Glenn/Glenn & Maggie moments over the course of the last 6 seasons. Glenn was so full of heart and his relationship with Maggie was one of my favorite parts of the show. I’m a sucker for a good romance story and the fact that the two of them managed to find and fall in love even in this kind of world, was just so beautiful. When Maggie was introduced, I realized that they would be my romantic fix for the show. It saddens me that they will never get to start their family and live a happy life. I know there are many scenes I probably didn’t feature, so feel free to share your favorites below, I’d love to hear them! Just know every minute of their story is amazing and we appreciate the heart and realism Lauren Cohan (Maggie) and Steven Yeun (Glenn) put into their characters. Gleggie/Glaggie Forever.

RIP Sweet Glenn ❤

*I do not take credit for any videos used.*

 

This is my RIOT. [Part 2]

****LETTERS OF LOVE & FRUSTRATION-The Walking Dead Edition****

Dear Glenn,

You were a leader, a loyal man of honor. You took whatever came your way and handled your business like a boss, but with an odd heir of grace in a rather grace-less world. You were our heart, our family. And the thought that you will never crack a joke, kiss Maggie, or meet your baby, well it just breaks my heart to pieces.

Glenn- from your first words, “Hey Dumbass” to your last “Maggie…I’ll find you.”- I have never not loved you, believed in you, or trusted you. Unfortunately you were the heart and moral compass of the show that got taken away from us this season and in the very first episode of the season, none the less. You will be greatly missed, there aren’t words to explain just how much. Maggie will never be the same without you, and The Walking Dead will never be the same without you.

You truly were one of my favorites and this to date (and forever) will be one of the most felt Walking Dead deaths ever. I think you deserved better, I think you had more story to tell. I think you would have made an amazing dad. Forever and always, your loyalty, heart, fearlessness, bravery, friendship, love and kindness, will be with us. We love you, we’ll miss you, and….we’ll find you. This isn’t goodbye it’s see you later.

RIP GLENN Love you, forever. ❤ #Family

 

Dear Steven Yeun,

I hope you know how much we love you. How deeply your portrayal of Glenn as impacted millions of us. I already miss seeing you on my tv screen every Sunday night. And I wish you the best of luck on future projects. Can’t wait to follow your career. But to me, you’ll always be my Glenn.

 

Dear Abraham,

Thank you for rocking the trendiest mustache ever, for being a sassy ginger, for having the best southern accent, and for- my favorite of all- thank you for the countless hysterical zingers. You brought a little laughter to a very dark world, and we will miss your leadership, and your safe soul.

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Dear Michael Cudlitz,

Thank you for being your bad-ass self and for honoring your fans to the very end of your Abraham journey. The next show or film to get you, is very lucky. I’ll be watching for you. 😀

 

Dear Maggie/Lauren Cohan,

You got this. We got you. Hand in hand we walk.

baby-glaggie

Dear Scott Gimple and Robert Kirkman,

A little something comes to mind…oh yea that’s right…

Dear Daryl,

I love you, I love your southern slang & twang, your ability to own any situation, your worldly training and variety of skills, your fashion sense ;), your tough guy exterior and most of all your big ole heart of gold. The guilt of causing Glenn’s death will probably get you killed this season, but I hope you kick some serious ass before you go. (Please don’t go!)

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Dear Norman Reedus,

<33333333333….

Hearts, hearts for days.

*****************************************************************

Here are some images from my Walking Dead Season 7 premiere party…you know before my heart was ripped out of my chest.

This table scape is also perfect for Halloween!

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This is a chocolate two layered cake with butter cream frosting and crushed Oreos in the center, surrounded by crumbled Oreos again and gummy worms, topped with a raspberry/jello/cool whip concoction as the “brain.” It looks kinda like a heart. #SorryNotSorry Lol.

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I used red “fruit punch” flavored Gatorade for the Walker Blood and Lollipops for the Walker Claws. (my brother found them at the dollar tree they are originally called zombie fingers!)

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Death Predictions :*/

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Seconds before watching the premiere…

 

 

DISCLAIMER:

I’m going to be posting quite a few things about The Walking Dead this weekend, my usually scheduled Monday post, was a no go. It was just too soon for me to fully write up and process all that I had to say. I tried, but it wasn’t ready.  I will fill out the rest of this week with new posts. I need to get them all written and ready and then I will post accordingly. I need to get it all out, by week’s end, because then I can hopefully start to heal and move on. This is my venting. I hope you understand, fan to fan. 😀 If you aren’t a Walking Dead fan or you disagree with my thoughts, come back soon for a different vibe. Right now this is my RIOT time. xoxo

*I do not take credit for any images/gifs used is the first portion of the post.*

*All premiere party photos are my own.*

-<3-

This is my RIOT. [Part 1]

THE INTRODUCTION

I’ve been avoiding finishing writing this all week. Partly because I can already tell it’s going to be a tall order/one of those really long ranty posts and partly because I just don’t know how to start this. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I have a whole hell of a lot to say. But I guess that’s the problem. It’s just that the idea of thinking about it again, is stirring up some emotional anxiety in me already. But my hope is that once I get all the feels out, I will feel better, and start to heal. It’s happened for me in the past.

I know at this point you are probably very confused…allow me to explain.

It’s just a show, they say. Don’t take it too seriously. Get over it. But to us- to a lot of us-it’s more than that. When you watch a show for 6 seasons, you learn and grow with the characters, you care about them, you are invested in their stories and want to know more. They become like parts of your family.  Our Sunday night family. Yes, I’m referring to Rick and the gang from AMC’s The Walking Dead.

[SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!]

Now I know there are many different opinions floating around by now, and I may be late to the game, but I just couldn’t finalize my thoughts until recently. Even now I still feel like I’m all over the place and it’s been a few days since the episode aired. But it left one hell of an imprint on my mind and my heart. And not in a good way.  

This past Sunday night was the premiere episode of Season 7, entitled “The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be.” It’s an episode we fans have been anxiously awaiting since last season’s majorly talked about cliffhanger. And let it be known that even though I was mad at first, I defended the cliffhanger and thought it was badass and creative. I believed in the show that I love. The show that I love to watch with my family. The show I schedule my Sundays around. I believed they wouldn’t let me down. I trusted them. But what I got, was nothing I hoped for. In fact it was just the opposite.

In a nut shell. Let’s just say, I am NOT happy with the outcome.

THE FEELS ARE IN THE DETAILS

What I feared the most came true. A very beloved character was on the receiving end of Negan’s power trip of a batting practice. Glenn Rhee was killed. (Along with Sgt. Abraham Ford) And the fact that I just put Abraham’s death in parenthesis as a morbid side note, should tell you just how badly they screwed up.

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There I said it. But what frustrates me so much is that it was done in such a bull shit, shock value, careless way. I say careless because I just feel like the producers have little regard for their audience. And I may just be talking out of anger right now, but that’s how I feel. Right now and for the days that have passed, this is how I feel. Chris Hardwick made an incredible point on The Talking Dead, validating any and all of our feelings, whether we are pissed, sad, or happy, because we are the passionate fans who make the show. And we love him for that and for being our full on therapist.

My thoughts are a scramble, still. As I sit here and try to edit myself and categorize my thoughts. But should I edit myself? Should I sugar coat anything? Show runners and AMC sure as hell don’t sugar coat anything for us. So should fans not be allowed the same curtesy? Should we not be allowed to speak our minds about a show that holds such a sacred place in our hearts?

I have so much inside and I don’t know how to say it. The gnawing feeling in my chest and stomach, and the feeling of puffy eyes is enough proof that Sunday night’s episode put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. I feel like I was anxious the night before the premiere, (waking up after bad dreams) and then I was nervous the whole day-dodging people with spoilers, and then after it happened I went from shocked, to pissed (some serious vulgar language was thrown left and right in my house hold that’s for sure), to balling my  eyes out. I actually have a video, my brother took of me. It’s too much for me to actually post, but let’s just say I was red faced. And that was after the episode, I just thought of Glenn’s face just before Negan lowered the bat. He was just sitting there, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, sure he had his outburst, but that wasn’t nearly as bad as Daryl’s. Glenn was just there. My brother put it perfectly, “he was an innocent.” And then WHACK. Reimagining that image, that thought, made me explode in tears, causing a bit of a domino effect in my house as my mom and sister in law began to get teary eyed and my brother jumped over to hug me. He and I are both completely messed up over this. We’re both just pissed and when my sister in law tried to be the voice of reason and ask us “Would you have rather seen him die getting ripped to pieces by walkers.” We both answered with a forceful YES in unison. Walkers eat people, it’s what they do. It’s what we know from this world, and that does become exciting and a bit of an adrenaline boost. But having one man bash the skull in of another man, is just not what I want or need to see. AMC- the same network that won’t allow the F word, but yet allowed that horrific imagery to be displayed for the world to watch. Yea that makes total sense.

I am not denying the cinematic genius of the show. The angles and the way it was shot was amazing- the POV shots- really were so interesting. And I know how well this show can be done, I’ve seen it in the past. But this week’s content…heartbreaking…too heartbreaking.

MANIPULATION GONE TOO FAR/THE BAIT & SWITCH TECHNIQUE

And that’s the problem, with this whole death scene. After going through all that wait and worry, I would have just rather they killed him last season. Instead we waited months for that bait and switch, shock value bull shit. I was a wreck last season when we had to deal with Glenn’s fake death, but I put my faith in the fact that Glenn had so much story left to tell and that he couldn’t be gone, and he wasn’t. But now after having to go through all that, and then the 6 month summer hiatus- to have it actually result in a Glenn death…Pure BULL SHIT. And because of that same need for shock value, they killed Abraham first to throw us off and totally didn’t allow his character to have his own meaningful death. His death was cast to the side, and completely overshadowed, because when you peg a supporting character death against a main character death, that supporting character isn’t cared about as much. And although Abraham is beloved in his own right his longevity on the show doesn’t compare to Glenn’s, so which death is being most talked about, Glenn’s. Although Abraham’s death was mighty and had purpose and he went out without fear and still his strong self, it fell to the side. If you ask me he deserved his own death. He shouldn’t have been a lead up or a manipulative fake out for Glenn’s horrific death.

I understand fans of the comics wanted this scene. They wanted the gore- the blood, the guts. But fans of the show, did not. Because although many fans overlap between the genres, fans of solely the show have become so undeniably attached to the original Atlanta 5 that, we hate to even consider the possibility of the show going on without them. Secondary characters are all up for grabs, but DO NOT MESS WITH MY GLENN. This so called “iconic” comic scene was ruined. I could give two shits about the comic scene, I don’t follow them and I don’t see that death as iconic at all. It’s disturbing and removes one of my favorite charcters from this world I’ve grown to follow intently. I just think the death should match the character. Yes in a way, Abraham’s did. He was staring Negan down, in a “take me” sort of fashion. Even during his death he still gave us one of his epic one liners and told Negan- “suck my nuts.” It was oddly funny and badass as hell. But Glenn’s death- it went unjustified, the purpose fell flat. It was out of nowhere. If they wanted to make it Glenn they should have just showed us it in the finale, at least then it would have been an instant shock and the wait wouldn’t have been for nothing. And the recovery period would be given proper time.

But no they had to do their whole little dance to make us think they maybe just maybe weren’t going to follow the comic.

I get it’s a zombie apocalypse show, I get that people have to die. I get that that in order for things to keep going and to keep things interesting with a realistic heir, main characters need to die to impact a greater story. But as a fan, I just think that this particular death was ruined. And whatever story they tell going forward could have still been accomplished if they hadn’t chosen Glenn.  

DARYL’S TO BLAME

I know that the way Glenn died on the show, is how he died in the comics. I understand that. But considering the show varies from the comic quite often, they didn’t have to have it be Glenn. And to have Abraham be the initial victim on the receiving end of Lucille, (the Point of View shot was in fact him and not Glenn) and give us this sense of relief, all to have Daryl have an outburst lunging at Negan and swinging at him, causing Negan to get pissed. Further stating the fact that he is a man of his word- the first outburst was free but any others and he would “shut that shit down.” In my head it made sense (although it pains me to say this) for Negan to kill Daryl. But no instead he pivots after bashing Abraham’s head in and whacks poor innocent Glenn over the head out of nowhere. I’m a Daryl fan, I am, but even so I am dead ass saying that if it weren’t for Daryl’s outburst, Glenn would still be alive. So not only did they make us think it was Daryl with the clips released, they then death layered Abraham and Glenn- and further pinning two crowd favorites against each other-Daryl and Glenn, by having Daryl be the cause of Glenn’s death.

The scene itself was heart breaking and gut wrenching. In an odd way I felt like I was prepping for it to be Daryl, but I thought they weren’t going to go that far, so when I saw it was Abraham there was an instant relief, because although I love him and his crazy sayings that always crack me up, I knew I could recover from his death versus trying to recover from a main core character death. The original Atlanta five that were left. But when I saw that it was Abraham, I knew it wasn’t over. I sensed it, I felt it in the pit of my stomach and then …it happened. The worst decision The Walking Dead ever made. I had tried so hard to stay away from spoilers, but I did watch the promo clips and the sneak peek. And all signs were intentionally pointing to Daryl. Dwight wearing his vest, riding his motorcycle, carrying his cross bow. And then in the sneak peek where we see the brain remains on the ground you see a blanket on the floor near it, the blanket we all knew Daryl had draped around his shoulders.

As much as I love Daryl- he is really one of my favorites- I cannot choose between my love for him and my love for Glenn. My sister in law asked me who would I rather it be, Glenn or Daryl and I told her she couldn’t ask me that question because I couldn’t give her an answer, I couldn’t choose. I had three characters I did not want touched, excluding Rick because I knew he was alive because of the sneak peek, and killing him would defeat the point of the idea that the producers and writers have been stressing, that this season is about breaking Rick down. My three favorites; Daryl, Maggie and Glenn. And when I got wind of people having spoilers and telling me I was going to be a wreck, I began to really worry it was Daryl, so I was prepping for Daryl, hoping it would be a secondary character, because fans would freak the F out if it were Daryl. But in that prepping, the Glenn death knocked the wind out of me. Even though his death was written the same in the comic (excluding the Abraham kill and the Daryl outburst) I didn’t think they were going to do it. I thought it was too expected. I thought/kind of hoped it was going to be Michonne. See my reasoning HERE.

Shock value. That’s all this episode was. I do not feel justified at all. The wait, the cliffhanger, the almost death of Glenn last season that freaked everyone the F out, all- for nothing. All to be thrown away in less than 30 minutes. They knew they would get shit for this, which is why they made it happen in the premiere and not the finale, because they’re going to try to use this season as a way to redeem their bullshit.

THE FANDOM AND WHAT LIES AHEAD

I’m a huge fan of the show, which is why I feel so deeply and strongly about all this. I may just be coming off as a bitter fan who didn’t get what she wanted. Or a bitchy fangirl who is pissed one of her favorite characters got killed off. But it’s more than that to me. It’s the way he was killed off, and the lack of respect we were shown as viewers who have been so faithful for the past 6 seasons. No matter what the story they want to tell after this, nothing can convince me it was worth Glenn’s death. In fact I believe the story would have been made greater had they kept Glenn alive. He’s had to endure so much death over the past season. Noah getting ripped to pieces by walkers, Nicholas shooting himself, all right in front of his eyes. That is traumatizing, and I would have loved to have seen how he handled that, and how he would have dealt with killing humans on a greater scale to protect his family. I’m a big believer in seeing a show through. But if I’m being honest, after that episode I just felt done. The need to watch any future episodes keeps moving further and further away from me, there isn’t an urgency like there used to be. There’s a feeling of betrayal.  Because I just don’t want to see a Walking Dead world where Glenn doesn’t exist. And to make things worse they gave us that bull shit “what could have been” dream sequence family dinner, where Glenn is holding his son as Maggie and Abraham sit next to him smiling and everyone else passes dinner plates and talking happily like one big family. Twist the knife even more, Scott Gimple. What the hell was that? I don’t know where my heart lines right now. I’m on the fence. I can’t say I won’t ever tune in again, because I still care about the other characters, but I just don’t think I will be as adamant about watching it live. I may just stick to catching it on demand. I don’t know. I reserve the right to change my mind, but for right now that’s how I feel. I wish all fans felt the same, so the showrunners/producers/writers could realize they screwed up big time this time, and to stop taking our trust in them for granted.

HERE is a really great read about others who feel strongly about whether or not they will continue to watch and support the show. I can’t say I don’t agree with some of their reasoning, there’s a lot of truth and facts to back it up.

GLENN’S FINAL WORDS

“Maggie…I’ll find you.” One final promise of protection. A vow to always continue to look and find her no matter where he is, or where she/their baby are. As beautiful as they were, I can’t. I don’t even want to relive this. Not to mention how gruesome and gory that scene was. Did you catch how once it happened the Glenn body was seldom shown, especially when Maggie crawls over, you only see her reactions to it, they are never fully in the same frame. Yea Gimple, you know what you did.

FUTURE VIEWERSHIP/MAGGIE & GLENN HISTORY

The writers and producers keep saying things like “this episode wasn’t about who was on the receiving end of the bat, it was about the impact it has on Rick and how to break a man down.” But to the fans, that’s all that mattered. And the cliffhanger made that so. I understand that Rick (& Co.) had begun to get too cocky. And I understand Negan saying that Rick wasn’t getting it, he wasn’t fearing Negan the way he should. Basically Negan wants Rick to be his bitch and like it. But let’s be clear Rick was still not acting as Negan wanted even AFTER he killed both Abraham and Glenn. It wasn’t until Negan nearly forced him to cut Carl’s arm off that he was finally satisfied with the fear and fully defeated look on Rick’s face.

So the question begs, why Glenn? Why did it HAVE to be Glenn? Maggie is pregnant. They were trying to build something. They are the driving romantic force of the show, the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Not to mention how much love and faith went into their trying to get back to each other after last season’s “Is he or isn’t he alive” saga. They barely got any actual screen time together in season 6, I wonder how she even got pregnant in the first place since they were barely ever together. In fact many of the seasons were about splitting them up and then having them find each other again somehow. Relying on their unspoken connection as husband and wife. Up until season 6 Glenn hadn’t even killed a human. He was a leader, a loyal man of honor. He took whatever came his way and handled his business like a boss, but with an odd heir of grace in a rather grace-less world. He was our heart. He was our family. And the thought that he will never crack a joke, kiss Maggie, or meet his baby, well it just breaks my heart to pieces.

THE FUTURE OF MAGGIE GREENE (-RHEE)

I’m hearing that this storyline is to set the stage for Maggie to become badass, but she was always badass. She was even the only one to say that they had to fight Negan after Glenn’s death. She fought through crippling pain and shock. How she stayed put and silent throughout her husband’s death is beyond me. I expected more of a reaction I think, but if I gather her condition and her physical exhaustion and pain, she was probably in complete shock and couldn’t move. Her reaction after Negan’s crew leaves and they can finally speak and comfort each other is what kicked off the tears for me. The initial hit was too much of a shock. So I guess you can say we had the same emotional roller coaster as Maggie herself. Maggie is the first to make a move and the first to want to make plans for retaliation, begging her friends to leave and go back, worrying that they were only out there for her. Maggie saying that she’s taking him (Glenn’s body) with her. That’s when I really started to break down, seeing her heartbreak and feeling her pain. Lauren Cohan slayed it! I truly can’t wait till this Negan dick dies, and I pray that it’s Maggie that gets to do the honors. And if they think they are going to kill this Glaggie baby, they better think twice! Because I wasn’t ready for Glenn to die and if they let this baby die now too, it’s just as worse. Maggie has lost everything, she doesn’t need to lose her baby too, and the last piece of Glenn she has left. Ughhh why didn’t SHE ever take a picture of HIM. Oh I hate this, his baby is never even going to get to see what his/her dad looked like. I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. Can I be done now? Can this be done, can the show be done, I need a minute. This should have been the season finale last year, 6 months would have been a good recovery period.

ACTOR REACTIONS

If you ask me the actors are too cool about this whole thing. Steven Yeun was all game for it and that kind of saddens me, why do you want to leave us? Sometimes fans just need to feel like you care. And I know he does, but can’t you just be as pissed off as us. Screw respecting the story or respecting your bosses, tell me how you really feel. You’re leaving the people and the place you’ve called home for 6 years, how are you not more upset? Or are you just really good at holding it in?

Can’t Steven Yeun (Glenn) and Lauren Cohan (Maggie) just cry tears the way Emily Kinney did when Beth died and she was on The Talking Dead? Or how Lauren cried when Scott Wilson’s character Hershel who played her father, died.  Can’t you just be here with us! We need that. #THANKGODFORCHRISHARDWICK

Michael was also on E! News and his interview was just so good… so Thank you Michael! Thank you for getting it and us! (and for keeping the stache, he said he’s keeping it for the fans for a while, he says he understands there is a morning period for us.)

I don’t know maybe it’s because they’ve known for so long and they’ve already moved on. Maybe it’s because it’s just a job to them, and it’s time to move onto new adventures. But it just doesn’t feel like they were as emotional as the fans were. Ugh I don’t know I must be going through something serious right now. I’m checking their social sites, like TALK TO ME!!! #PMS #IBLAMEYOU

What’s worse is that producers Scott Gimple and Robert Kirkman, sit in their stuffy little seats with pusses on their faces the whole time on The Talking Dead trying to justify their choices without actually speaking any words worth listening to. #NOSCRATCHTHAT #GIMPLEANDKIRKMANIBLAMEYOU They don’t apologize, or sympathize with their audience ever. Quite frankly they annoy the crap out of me. Cocky people annoy me. It is my biggest pet peeve.

Just let Greg Nicotero do all the interviews, him I actually like. And he makes the sickest walkers come to life. (Although that Glenn death imagery I could have done without, but he didn’t write the scene, so I can forgive you.) 😉

I miss the old seasons, when the only thing our group had to fear were the walkers.

CONCLUSION

I don’t know what else to say, or what else to think. I’ve rambled on for pages, and I feel like I was an emotional mess and nothing got across the way that I wanted it to. I love the show, I love the characters, and I want to see what happens next and what happens when Negan finally gets his. But I just can’t stomach thinking about the show without Glenn, my eyes borderline tears every time I even think about it. I am still in shock. It’s a circle of denial. It’s the 5 stages of grief. I’ve felt weird these past few days-like I’ve been in an alternate universe, just floating about. It took me a good week to digest and recover from the cliffhanger of Season 6 finale, I was obsessed. So now that I know Glenn was one to go, it may take me longer to recover from.

Anyway I’m going to go before, I start to get emotional again. I realize I probably talked in a circular repetition and may have even contradicted myself, but this is where I am after Sunday night’s game changer. A state of anger, sadness, and confusion. Acceptance is a long way off. I hope you can see where I’m coming from as a fan. It’s hard. It’s going to be really hard. Fan girl life sucks.

GOODBYE…SEE YOU LATER

Glenn– from your first words, “Hey Dumbass” to your last “Maggie…I’ll find you.”- I have never not loved you, believed in you, or trusted you. Unfortunately you were the heart and moral compass of the show that got taken away from us this season and in the very first episode of the new season, none the less. I can’t even fathom watching the show without you. You will be greatly missed, there aren’t words to explain just how much. Maggie will never be the same without you, and The Walking Dead will never be the same without you.

RIP GLENN Love you, forever. ❤ #Family

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-<3-

Fantasy Girl Squad

Ok so we all know Taylor Swift has ruled the world with her bomb ass girl squad, promoting girl power, feminism and all around badassery. So it got me thinking, if I could put together my own “fantasy” girl squad-like men put together their fantasy sports teams-… who would I include? These are the women who I admire most and who I think would all mesh well into one epic gang of powerhouses. I gave them squad names too, because I mean- duh. I’d lead this pack proudly. 😉 

Bethany Joy Lenz- “Sweet Vintage”

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Sophia Bush-“Chicago Spunk”

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Tori Kelly- “TK Frizz”

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Jennifer Lopez-“J-Booty”

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Adele-“London Town”

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Hilary Duff- “Boss Lizzie”

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Lauren Cohan-“Zombie G” 

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Shay Mitchell-“Pocahontas”

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Tess Christine-“Boho T”

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Candice Accola-King- “Vamp”

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Gina Rodriguez-“Senorita”

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Joy Williams-“Mama Venus”

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Marina Squerciati-“MS. Homegirl”

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Tamera Mowry Housley-“Sista girl”

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Melissa McCarthy- “Chef”

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Lauren Graham-“Coffee”

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Kate Hudson-“Blonde bomb”

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Carrie Rad-“Sunflower”

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Ingrid Nilsen-“Spicy Flame”

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Alexz Johnson-“Gypsy Soul”

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Bethany Mota-“Dimples”

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Lauren Conrad-“Laguna Hillz”

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I would include Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift in a heartbeat but they already have their squad. I’m creating my own path here people. Be a leader not a follower. 😉 And I said it once and I’ll say it again, I’d lead this pack proudly.#squadgoals Invites go out early next week. 😉 #AGirlCanDream #FanGirlLife

xoxo “Starchild” – The Squad Leader

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-<3-

*Aside from that last selfie I do not own any other photos used.*

A Broken Heart For Christmas Pt. 6

Read Part 5 HERE.

broken heart for christmas

Lucy tossed and turned all night long, replaying her conversation with Dean over and over in her head.

She wakes up the next morning with what she could only classify as a broken hearted hangover.

Seeing him again was both electrifying and painful. And now she knows she’s bound to run into him again in their small town, their first meeting didn’t go so well. But deep down Lucy knew that even then, oddly enough, she still wanted to be around him, and couldn’t wait to be in his presence. Lucy walks downstairs to meet the family in their kitchen for breakfast as the day of Christmas festivities will soon begin.

*****

Lucy and the family are in the town square for the carnival.

She looks at her phone as sees its 11:30 a.m.

She smiles and dials Kinsley.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you on your way?” Lucy says anxiously awaiting her friend’s arrival.

“Already here.” Kinsley says walking up behind Lucy.

Lucy turns and runs over to her, giving her a hug.

“Whoa, it’s like you haven’t seen me in a year or something?” Kinsley says laughing.

“I have some things to fill you in on, and I may need some advice too.”

“Uh oh. Ok, lay it on me.”

“Not here, later, we’ll talk a walk?”

“Sure.” Kinsley says noticing as Dean walks past and over to his dad who is setting up a game station for the kids.

As Lucy sees Dean from the corner of her eye, her heart beat quickens. She smiles and walks away to the other side of the square.

Kinsley walks over to Dean.

“Hey Sanders!” Kinsley calls out in her usual rambunctious tone.

Dean turns, his eyes widen seeing the familiar face.

“Kinsley Jones, holy crap how are you?”

He embraces her in a friendly hug.

“Not bad. You?”

“Been better,” Dean says nodding knowingly.

“Ah still pining over Lucy, huh?”

She points over to where Dean’s eyes fall on Lucy who is helping to set up a bake sale table.

Dean sighs as he gives Kinsley a stern look.

“Hey I just call it like I see it.”

“I’m the bad guy right? I broke her heart. Never mind the fact that I asked her to marry me. Yea. No one ever hears my side of the story. I loved that girl. So much. You know how rare it is, for a guy that age to want to get married?”

“Maybe that was part of the problem.” Kinsley says.

Dean ponders as Kinsley walks off to say hi to some old neighbors, Dean locks eyes with Lucy from across the way. She looks away after a beat. Dean sighs and walks over.

“Hey.” Dean says.

“Hi.”

“Will you walk with me?” Dean says his puppy dog eyes melting her.

“Yea. Sure.” Lucy joins him as they work through the town, seeing all the fun rides, games and stands.

Snow slowly melting, Trees decorated, the smell of hot chocolate filling the air, as Christmas carols are heard through town.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I had an entirely different idea of how that conversation would go. I have always wondered when I’d get to see you face to face again, and I am sorry for how I acted.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Lucy I get that this is hard for you…it’s hard for me to, seeing you, being around you after all these years. But we don’t have to hate each other. I’m just trying to make the best of the holiday.”

“I don’t hate you. Do you hate me?”

“No. Far from it.” Dean says looking at Lucy as he leans a little closer to her.

Dean’s phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey son, I need you to run home and just pick up my tool box for me.”

“Sure pop, I’ll take care of it.

Dean turns to Lucy.

“Hey I have to run to get my dad something. You wanna come with me?

“Oh um…Okay sure.”

Lucy and Dean get to his house to find it empty.

He grabs his dad’s tool box from under the sink and turns to Lucy.

“Can I get you anything?” Dean inquires.

Lucy stands waiting in the arch way between the living room and kitchen.

“No. I’m good thanks.”

She gives him a small smirk.

He stops and stares.

“What?” Lucy notices as Dean’s eyes look her over and she begins to feel anxious.

He walks over to her pulling her into a kiss.

Lucy is shocked to say the least. She goes to pull away but Dean grabs her waist and pulls her back in, deepening the kiss. Lucy reciprocates her arms wrapping around his neck.

Dean pulls away looking up over their heads, as Lucy sees the mistletoe.

“You don’t mess with tradition, not in Oakland Valley,” he says smiling.

“Is that all that was?” Lucy asks breathless.

In one swift move Dean lifts her onto the counter kissing her yet again, leaning into their embrace.

“What do you think?” He says in between kisses.

Soon enough Lucy and Dean are in bed together, as they kiss, they continue their love for each other, finding familiar territory.

A little ways later…

Lucy and Dean lay still, trying to catch their breath.

“Wow.” Lucy says.

“That was…that…was really good,” Dean says looking over at her.

“Mmm Hmm.” Lucy says, smiling brightly.

“Is it me or was that better than I remember? I mean we were always really good together but this was more intense than usual.” Dean says staring at Lucy as his eyes wander.

Lucy smiles covering her face in embarrassment.

Dean laughs, rolling his eyes at her.

“We had sex…you and me we just had sex…” Lucy says still in slight denial.

“Yeah pretty much.”

“How did that even happen?” She says baffled that they could go from zero communication to ripping each other’s clothes off in a matter of a few hours.

“Come on Luc- we were never really good with keeping our hands to ourselves. Well I mean at least I never was. Put me in a room with you and those eyes- who knows what can happen?” Dean says raising his eyebrows.

Lucy stares at him, her skin flushed, her hair a wreck, her heart beat accelerated. There’s a feeling of blissful happiness within this moment, as she stares into the eyes of the man she loves. And soon she remembers, the pain, and her smile fades.

“Why’d you do it?” Lucy says glancing over at Dean with sad eyes.

“Why’d I have sex with you?” Dean asks confused. “I kinda don’t think I have a choice, when it comes to you. It’s not something I can control,” he says smirking.

“No. Why’d you end it between us?” Lucy asks, nervous for the answer to the question she’s had running through her mind for the better part of their years broken up.

“I knew you wanted more than Oakland Valley. And you deserved to explore without having me around to distract you. I knew if we stayed together I’d hold you back.” Dean says sighing as he looks away.

“Ok, I guess that’s admirable, but that should have been my decision. Not you just deciding what’s best for me.”

“I thought I was being selfish trying to keep you in this relationship. I just wanted you to be happy, in whatever way possible. Your happiness was always my goal. And for a long while it seemed like maybe I wasn’t the one that could make that happen.”

“How can you say that? I was always happy when I was with you. I loved you.”

“I loved you. So much. But Lucy I asked you to marry me, and you said no.”

“I didn’t say no.”

“But you didn’t say yes either.”

“We were young, ok it didn’t have to be all at once, all or nothing. We had time to wait, or at least I thought we did.” She says her anger spiking.

“Lucy, I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you. My decision was never a punishment.” Dean confesses.

“Did you really have to join the army? I mean I get it- outta sight outta mind but, but you deploying ruined me. One minute you’re telling me how much you love me and how you wanna be with me forever and the next you were just gone. I didn’t know where you were. If you were okay. There was no form of closure.” Lucy says her heart spilling into Dean’s hands.

“It wasn’t about doing it to get you off my mind. In fact you were the only thing on my mind, every second of every day Lucy. Enlisting was about doing something that I knew I could be proud of myself for. Doing something worthy. If I couldn’t be your husband, I figured at least I could serve my country.”

“Let me ask you this. If I had said yes, would you have enlisted then?”

“Probably not right away, but eventually yes, after we got married.”

Lucy gasps, then sighs.

“Even if you would have said yes, it’s not like you’d give up on the dreams you had. I knew you wanted to move to New York and be a writer. I knew that was still there, still a big part of your soul. And I would never have asked you to give that up. So I figured while you were off being brilliant, I could do something to make you proud.”

“I have never not been proud of you.” Lucy says, her tone softening.

Dean looks at her, he takes her hand in his.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that you were just okay with going off in different parts of the world and not being with each other. That’s what made your decision feel like a punishment.” Lucy says trying to understand.

“I was hurt. Part of me knew you were right, that we were too young, but the other part of me didn’t care. I just knew I wanted to be with you, and sure you saying no was definitely a bruise to my ego, but it was also a wakeup call. And I knew that time was what you needed, and distance. I figured I’d do a tour or two and we’d be back together in no time. After I proposed and you said no, it was like a reflex for me to push you away. I knew I had made a poor decision, the minute after you left my room that day, in tears. I came after you, only to find all of our memories scattered across the dorm hall. I knew you’d never forgive me, and I figured if you really wanted to be with me, you’d reach out, somehow.”

“You broke up with me. I didn’t think you wanted me to reach out.” Lucy says confused.

“I don’t know. I guess I just thought that in some strange way we’d always end up back together. I thought you’d fight for me.”

“Did you fight for me?” Lucy says challenging him.

“Every day Lucy and you know that. You know how much I loved you. How much I wanted you. I wasn’t exactly shy about it.”

Lucy looks at him.

“What do you want, now? I mean I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say, or feel. Where do you want us to go from here?” Lucy asks.

Dean looks at her, he walks over and pulls her into a kiss.

“I don’t ever wanna watch you walk away from me again,” he says.

******

Town neighbors begin to get wind that both Lucy and Dean are home and begin to rally around them.

“Sing! Sing!” the crowd hollers.

Lucy looks at them.

Ava looped arm in arm with her new boyfriend, yells “Hey you don’t monkey with tradition, and I think this town deserves some spirit from the two of you. You haven’t been home in years.”

The crowd continues to cheer as Lucy’s family rallies behind it.

Dean turns to Lucy, “Whattaya say Luc- how about one song for all times sake?”

“I don’t know…” Lucy says visibly uncertain.

“Come on, we used to sing together all the time.” Dean says strumming his guitar as the town mayor heads one to him.

“There’s a lot we used to do together.” Lucy says.

They share a heated look for a second, Dean sighs as Lucy looks away quickly.

“Sing!” the crowd screams again.

“Okay, okay, one song.” Lucy says.

Lucy and Dean get up in front of the whole town, on stage in the center of the town’s square to sing as Dean plays guitar.

The crowd sings along to I’ll Be Home For Christmas as Lucy begins to feel completely at home, something she hasn’t felt in a long time.

When the song finishes Lucy walks off stage in the opposite direction as Dean goes to grab a cup of coffee, Kinsley comes over to grab one too.

Dean goes into his inner jacket pocket for his wallet and a small black box falls to the floor.

Kinsley bends down to pick it up for him.

Dean tries to play it cool.

“Uh…Thanks,” he says taking the box and putting it back into his pocket, as his eyes search the crowd for Lucy.

“Oh my god,” Kinsley says, in shock. “Is that-? That’s a ring. For Lucy.”

“Please don’t.” Dean says looking at her with pleading eyes.

“You’re gonna propose?” she asks completely thrown.

“I’m not exactly rushing to put my heart on the line again Kin. I’ve had enough rejection from that girl to last a lifetime.”

“And yet you’re still holding onto that ring…let’s be honest here Dean you came here with a goal…you knew she’d be home didn’t you?”

“I may…have heard it through the Oakland Valley grape vine.”

“So…what are you waiting for?”

“I’ve thought about her every second of every day since we broke up…do you know how hard it has been to try have a life worth living without her? I can’t take any more disappointments.”

“Well if it’s any constellation it hasn’t exactly been a picnic for her either.”

“Yes but see I’d never know that because she was never one to tell me how she felt. I was lucky I got an “I love you” out of her.”

“Is that really how you feel?” Lucy says coming up from behind them.

“I’m gonna go, you two really need to talk,” Kinsley says walking off.

Dean sighs hanging his head.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that. I was just venting.”

“About me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Tell me the truth. Is that how you feel?”

“Sometimes. A lot of the time.”

Lucy’s face falls.

“Well then I’m the one who’s sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way, I promise. I guess I just always felt like I needed to keep my distance, because…because well you always felt too good to be true.”

“Yea. I know the feeling,” he cups her face looking into her eyes.

“Dean-”

“I love you. It has always been you. But I can’t keep going on like this. Being strangers who pine over each other. I’m tired of being miserable. I’m tired of being afraid to come home because the thought of losing you again makes me just continue to stay away. I’m tired of living with half a heart. I want you. I want you and me together forever. And if that scares you then tough. I know you love me, I can feel it in the way you look at me, in the way we move together. And after all these years to still be able to know these things and say these things, has got to stand for something. You had your time, you had your distance. You got three years to miss me. So I’m only gonna ask you this one more time. Because this is it Luc- this is our last shot.”

Lucy looks at him.

Dean stares into her eyes questioning her mind.

He smirks knowingly and kneels down on one knee.

“Lucy Michaelson you drive me absolutely insane. From the moment I met you, I looked into those green eyes of yours, even though we were young I knew you were someone special. Your eyes drew me in, and I knew I could look into those eyes, for my whole life. You have tested my loyalty and my love for years. And because of you I know that I am capable of fighting for what I want, for what’s important. I love you, crazy anxieties and all. And I want you to be my wife. So…instead of being so worried and scared of the future why don’t we just embrace it?”

Dean opens up the small ring box as Lucy gasps, clasping her hands over her mouth.

“Will you marry me, damn it? Just marry me? And we can figure this whole life thing out together.”

Lucy begins crying and laughing as she kneels down to meet him in a kiss.

Dean pulls away looking at her questioning.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a hell yes,” she says laughing. “And for what its worth, I’ve missed you too.”

“I figured,” he shrugs in cocky fashion, as he winks. “I think we should seal the deal with this-”

He says as he slides the ring on her finger.

Lucy smiles.

“Oh my god, baby it’s gorgeous. Is this- my ring?”

“You never did get to see it.”

“It’s perfect. You kept it all this time?”

Dean nods.

“Of course I did babe. Let’s just say I had a feeling our story wasn’t over yet, I knew one of these days my charm would wear you down.”

Lucy smiles kissing him as everyone around cheers and rushes to congratulate them.

“It’s about damn time!” Kinsley screams as everyone laughs.

A few minutes later Lucy walks off to the side, to make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Cami, I have some news I think you’re gonna wanna hear.” Lucy says as Dean walks up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. He kisses her cheek.

Lucy holds her phone out as she turns on video chat, showing off her engagement ring.

“I’m engaged!”

Cami screams.

“Oh MY GOD!”

Lucy laughs.

“Dean this is Cami, Cami this is-”

“College boyfriend Dean, I know.”

“Hi Cami, nice to meet you, I’ve heard good things. But College boyfriend? Really that’s what I got demoted to?” Dean says looking at Lucy.

Cami looks on confused.

“Well I mean we did officially start dating in college so that’s not entirely untrue.”

“Wait am I missing something?” Cami says, confused.

“I may have lied, a bit. I kind of implied that I met Dean when I was in college, and that it was just a college romance. But in fact, Dean and I grew up together here in Oakland, we were best friends. I mean but we never really thought about dating until College.”

“Um… really… we never thought about dating? I sure as hell did,” Dean says.

“Then why didn’t you say something, all these years?”

“Because I had to wait for you. You had to be ready. I know you very well Lucy.”

“You sure do. I love you,” Lucy says.

“I love you.”

She leans in to kiss him.

“And hey look-now you’ve been promoted to fiancé.”

“Lucky me.”

Lucy smiles kissing him.

Cami still on the line, starts laughing, “Wow you guys are disgustingly cute, when’s the wedding?”

*************

Lucy and Dean steal a moment away from the celebrating, to be alone. They walk through town, Dean finds a quiet spot and pulls Lucy to him by the waist, he kisses her slowly.

Lucy in turn pulls him to her by his coat collar as she reciprocates.

She turns to him.

“What?” he says, knowing the wheels are starting to spin in her head.

“Are you going to have to deploy again, anytime soon?”

“No. I put in a good amount of years. It’s time for me to settle down, make some plans. And finally marry the love of my life. I’ve waited a long time for you.”

Lucy kisses him.

***************

*One Year Later…

Lucy and Dean are in NYC in her old apartment. The tree glistening, the fireplace crackling, two glasses of wine on the coffee table. They both sit on her couch, in front of an open laptop; skyping with their family back in Oakland.

“Are you coming home for the holidays?” Lucy’s Mom asks.

Lucy and Dean look at each other

“No,” they say in unison.

The family looks sad.

“We’re coming home for good,” Lucy says and Dean smiles brightly kissing her.

Everyone cheers in complete shock and joy.

Dean and Lucy pack boxes as her apartment slowly because emptier and emptier. Wedding rings glisten upon their hands as they move boxes toward the door to be taken out. Lucy places a few last minute items into a box, as a focusing of their wedding photo is displayed.

As movers begin to come in, the remnants of the apartment begin decreasing as a lonely Christmas tree without any ornaments is the only thing left. Underneath the tree lies a gift box. Lucy and Dean stand in the middle of the living room, his hands cross her stomach as he nuzzles into her neck.

“You ready Mrs. Sanders, Kinsley’s downstairs, she has the car all packed up.”

“Yes I’m ready Mr. Sanders, let’s go home,” she turns kissing him softly.

“Come on sexy we have a lot of work to do for the new house,” Dean says taking her hand and leading her to the door.

“I know, I get to decorate!” Lucy says excitedly.

“Oh no, I meant we gotta start making babies, because we have a lot of rooms to fill,” he says his eyes lighting up.

“Oh.” Lucy says rubbing her hands along Dean’s chest “Okay,” she smiles, raising her eyebrows, she kisses him, wrapping her hands around his neck, as he moves closer to her.

“You better walk away from me, before we never get out of here, girl.” Dean mutters into her lips as she continues to kiss him.

Lucy cocks her head back with a laugh.

“God, I love you so much,” he says more seriously, looking into her eyes.

“I love you. So much.” Lucy says cupping his face and looking back at him with admiration. She gives him a quick peck on the lips and pulls him toward the door.

A few seconds later Lucy rushes back in and grabs the box under the tree.

In the car ride home, Lucy opens the gift box, in it lies a framed black and white photo of Silvia and Lucy. Lucy is wearing a wedding dress. The box also holds a card that reads-

Dear Kind Eyes,

Here’s just a little reminder of our friendship which has blossomed over the past year. I was so honored to be able to share in your special day. I’m so thrilled that we managed to keep in touch. I knew that you and your true love were meant to be from the way your eyes told your story. And being able to witness such a love in person brought me back to a time I remember well. He’s a good one, hold onto him tight. And never be afraid to love with all your heart.

God Bless, See you soon,

Love,

Silvia.

Lucy smiles as she looks over Silvia’s gift, Dean looks over from the driver’s seat, a sleeping Kinsley in the back. Dean takes Lucy’s hand and kisses her wedding rings. Lucy smiles leaning over and kissing his cheek.

As the car continues to drive down the journey of a new life with the man she’s always loved. Their future in front of them.

*The End*

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Thanks for reading!

*I do not take credit or any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

A Broken Heart For Christmas Pt. 4

Read Part 3 HERE

broken heart for christmas

Lucy sits in the airport her stomach a ball of nerves, as she anxiously awaits her flight.

She pulls her cell phone out and dials.

“Hello?” The familiar voice of the other end, somehow manages to calm her.

“Kin-?”

“Hey love, what’ up? Where are you? I just got in and was surprised you weren’t here.”

“I’m at the airport. I’m going home.”

“Wow. So you finally decided to grab the bull by the horns, huh? Your mom must have gotten to you.”

“Well it was a bit of a mixture of my mom and Cami. Cami thinks that I’m still holding onto everything that happened with Dean.”

“Well aren’t you?”

“Oh come on, not you too Kin? You’re the one person I can count to calm me down.”

“Look I’m not trying to upset you Luc-. But let’s be honest. I’m the only one here in New York City that can say I knew both you and Dean. I’m the only one who knows what happened between you two back home. The only one who truly saw how you were when you were together. I know that you need closure.”

“And you never thought to express these concerns over the past 3 years since Dean and I have been broken up.”

“Well… I like to let you breathe. I think when you find things out on your own time, you listen to your heart more. I also know that you and only you can decide when you are ready to dive deeper.”

“Well aren’t you just full of surprises?” Lucy says slightly rolling her eyes.

“This is something you’ve been avoiding for years, it’s time… you’re ready. Whether you think so or not, you’re ready.”

“I hope so. I kinda wish you were coming home with me. I could use some back up.”

“Well you are in luck, I just bought my ticket. I’ll be there about 11:30 tomorrow morning.”

“Really?” Lucy asks excited, yet relieved.

“Well I’m always the one that goes home for the holidays, it’s you who I have to drag kicking and screaming, remember?”

Flight 326 to Oakland Valley Minnesota is now boarding, a woman’s voice is heard over the loud speaker.

Lucy sighs heavily and stands, heading towards the terminal.

“Ok well… that’s me. I should go.”

“Ok. Just remember to breathe, you got this. Have a safe flight.” Kinsley says her confidence in Lucy shining through.

“Wait…Truth time?” Lucy states.

“Shoot.” Kinsley notes in response.

“Kin, can I do this? What if he comes back, what if by some cryptic way of faith he’s back in town this year. Can I really do this? Could I really face him?”

“Yes. You can. I promise you.”

Lucy sighs.

“Lucy, what are you so afraid of?” Kinsley pushes for a hidden truth.

“I’m afraid that if I see his face again, I’m just going to fall apart.”

“Well that’s what best friends, chocolate, and wine are for. To pick you back up, when the world knocks you down. You’ve got this. Now go.”

Lucy hangs up her phone and walks toward the entrance to the terminal. Her heart beat quickens as she hands her ticket in.

On the plane Lucy sits at a window seat. She checks her watch; 9:30 p.m.

“Ok, Oakland Valley, Minnesota is a 2 ½ hour plan ride. I should get there by midnight,” Lucy whispers to herself. “2 ½ hours to prepare myself. Ok you can do this.”

An elderly woman finds her seat next to Lucy as she smiles kindly, Lucy reciprocates.

A stewardess comes over soon after.

“Hi, thank you for flying with us today, please keep your seats and strap yourselves in for take-off. Can I get you ladies anything at the moment?”

“Yes, a glass of red wine would be nice.” Lucy says leaning back and sighing.

The elderly lady near her notices.

“And for you ma’am?” The stewardess asks.

“Oh I’m quite alright, thank you.”

“Ok, so just one red wine, coming right up,” the stewardess says with a smile and walking off.

Lucy looks over nodding forcing a smile toward the stewardess.

Lucy’s body and mind are restless, she sighs trying to calm down and settle in.

“Nervous flyer?” The elderly woman says looking over at Lucy.

“No, not really. I just have a possibly anxious situation waiting for me, back in my home town.”

“Ah, an ex- lover, I presume?”

Lucy nods.

“Is it that obvious?” Lucy inquires.

“Not to many. But I’ve killed long. I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve met plenty people in my lifetime. When you’re as old as I am, you learn how to read people. You my dear have kind eyes. People with kind eyes see the world differently. They believe the very best in people. So often so, that sometimes their hearts get broken pretty easily.”

“What would you suggest for someone in my position?”

“Continue doing just what you’ve been doing. Love, leap, it’s the only thing that makes you truly feel alive. Everything else; money, status, materialistic things, it all goes away. Don’t doubt yourself so much either, trust in yourself, trust in your ability to get everything you want. These days in age, women can have it all, it doesn’t have to be job or marriage, anymore.”

“How did you-”

The elderly woman smiles kindly, knowingly.

“You’re a good read, right.” Lucy says smiling.

“You keep being yourself. Follow your heart, you’ll be just fine….” The elderly woman says waiting for Lucy to reveal her name.

“Lucy.”

“Lucy… hmmm, what a beautiful name. You know there’s a Saint Lucy. She’s known as the protector of sight. In fact Lucy hails from Lucia which comes from the Latin word “lux” which means “light”. It’s funny how things just come full circle don’t they, kind eyes?”

“My mom actually named me after her, she said that when I was born she looked into my eyes and just knew my name was Lucy.”

“Mother’s intuition never lies.”

“Do you have any children, Mrs…” Lucy drowns off realizing she still has yet to find out this woman’s name.

“You can call me Silvia. And yes I do have children, two daughters-twins.”

“Ah so you’re no stranger to dealing with heartbroken women?” Lucy laughs slightly.

“No, I am most certainly not. But my advice to you, came straight from personal experience. When I was young, I’d say around my late teens to early 20’s, kinda like you. I fell madly in love with a handsome boy. A few short years later, he became the father of my daughters. He was a solider. I found out I was pregnant, just after he deployed. And I wrote him a letter telling him the good news, and promising him that when he got home, we’d get married. He used to ask me jokingly to marry him throughout our relationship, I would laugh and tell him we were just a bit too young, but in good time. I never heard back from him. About a month or so went by. As my little babies grew, so did my worry. Soon enough I was delivered the news that he has been killed in battle.”

Lucy stills, unable to hide her shock.

“Silvia I- I’m so sorry. I don’t have any words worth saying.”

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel sad, I’m telling you to help you understand, that sometimes you have to take the risk, if you truly love someone, trust in that love to last you through any hardships. We always regret the what- ifs. If you love him, you have to fight for him. And in turn if he fights for you, you know it was meant to be.”

“But what if he doesn’t. What if he never really did?”

“Maybe he just wasn’t given a chance?”

“How do you find the strength to face the pain though, I mean you lost the father of your children and still managed to raise them and move on with your life. I on the other hand feel like I’ve just stopped in time ever since Dean broke my heart. In that time I graduated college, moved out of my hometown, started an independent magazine, and yet I still feel like I’m stuck living in this painful nightmare. And then I hear your story and I feel like I am just being so completely childish and selfish. That none of this really matters. My problems seem so trivial. And here I am boring you with them.”

“Oh hunny, you most certainly are not. Everyone goes through different challenges in life. Different things that affect them in different ways. Things that shape who they are and who they are to become. As you get older you realize how to accept things more, take things as they come, and value the time you did have with the people you were lucky enough to love. I may have lost the love of my life young, but I got to experience a love like no other.”

Lucy smiles slightly, her eyes watering a bit, she looks down.

“Tell me something Lucy, this Dean boy your talking about, did you love him?”

“Yes, very much. Sometimes, I think I still do.”

Silvia smiles, “And what made you fall in love with him?”

Lucy stills, she hasn’t let herself think about that in a long time.

“He knew my heart. I could go to him for anything. He was my best friend. And he had this way of looking at me that would just give me butterflies, every time.” Lucy smiles, remembering.

“Oh, he sounds like a good one.” Silvia says smiling brightly.

“Yea, he was.” Lucy wipes a tear as it falls and sighs.

“I’d hang in there a little longer. You may not know it yet, but I think your happy ending is right around the corner, just you wait.”

Lucy smiles.

“Thank you Silvia, you are an incredible soul.”

“As are you, kind eyes.”

Lucy smiles, turning toward the window, she looks out into the dark night sky, and twinkling stars as she has a flash back to a time when she and Dean took a trip to Vegas together.

Dean sits next to Lucy on the plane, he takes her hand as she looks at him and smiles.

“So you excited?” he asks.

“Yes. I hope we win some money.”

“Yea that would be nice. I mean I’d like to put a ring on that finger of yours.”

Lucy blushes.

“Lucy.” Dean calls staring at her.

“What?” she says hanging her head and avoiding eye contact.

“Why does that bother you so much, that I’d like to marry you some day?”

“It doesn’t bother me, I just-”

“Really? Because every time I mention it, you avoid it, you avoid me,” he says sinking in his seat to catch her eyes with his.

“I don’t think we’re there yet, I mean we’re still young.”

“Okay, understandable. Is that it though, or is there something else?”

Lucy looks over at him.

“There’s nothing else. I love you.”

She leans in and kisses him, cupping his face.

Dean cups her face in return as he deepens the kiss.

“Can I ask you a question?” Dean says pulling away.

Lucy looks at him.

“Don’t worry, it’s not will you marry me?” he laughs.

“Ok… what is it?”

Dean kisses her teasingly.

She looks at him.

“Have you ever fooled around on an airplane?”

Lucy’s eyes go wide.

“Dean, we can’t,” she looks around to notice if anyone was listening.

“Sure we can,” he smirks kissing her again, and grabbing her hand he stands up. “Follow me.”

Lucy gets up and follows after him as they walk back towards the bathroom.

Dean opens the door and Lucy runs in. He looks around before following, sliding the door lock as the occupied sign displays on the outside.

He looks at Lucy and smiles, raising his eyebrows as she laughs.

“I can’t believe you. Are we really gonna do this, here?”

“Hell yes. Come here.” Dean says pulling her waist to him and kissing her.

“Red wine, ma’am?”

Lucy is brought back to reality, as the stewardess hands her a glass of wine.

“Thank you,” Lucy says with a faint smile, “I’m gonna need this,” she whispers to herself taking a gulp.

To be continued…

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

A Broken Heart For Christmas Pt. 3

Read Part 2 HERE.

broken heart for christmas

Back at her apartment Lucy sits in front of her fireplace, the wood burning a golden amber as the smell of fresh pine floods the house. Back home it was always a tradition for Lucy and her family to have a real Christmas tree every year. So ever since she left she made sure to continue the tradition. It just made New York City feel like home.

As she sits there sipping a glass of red wine, trying to wind down from the day and the added stress that’s been weighing on her, Lucy’s mind begins to wander.

“Maybe you just don’t want to move on,” she hears Cami’s voice echoing loudly in her head.

Lucy gets up and walks over to her hall closet, she opens the door and takes out a small decorative box, walking back to her couch, she sits down, pondering whether or not she can actually face the contents inside.

Upon opening the box, pictures of her past hit her like a ton of bricks.

Lucy takes a deep breath in as she picks up a photo of her and Dean, spending Christmas together and smiling brightly.

Lucy’s phone rings, disrupting her walk down memory lane.

“Hey mom,” she says answering it.

“Hi hunny, how was the rest of your day?”

Her mom stands at her kitchen counter mixing a batter for fresh cookies. There is flour everywhere, and her Christmas apron is tied around her waist.

Lucy smiles to herself as she hears the faint sound of Christmas songs   playing in her childhood home, over the phone.

“Stressful…yours?” Lucy says with a slight sigh.

“Well you know – the usual – busy Christmas season at the shop, everyone loves their real trees!”

“Of course, I know the feeling well,” Lucy says walking over to her own tree and feeling a branch. Leaning in she smells the fresh pine scent.

“How’s the tree stock this year?” she asks.

“It’s wonderful we’ve got Norway Spruce, Douglas Fir, Noble Fir, Cedar, Monterey Pine, and Sierra Redwood, your father has a really good selection this year.”

“Oh well that’s good. I’m sure the town is really excited about that!” She makes an effort to be cheerful.

“Hunny have you decided if you’ll come home? I really truly think it’ll be good for you.”

Lucy looks over at the photo laying on her coffee table, along with the rest of the box of mementos she shared with Dean over the years.

“You promise he won’t be there?” Lucy asks, the pain in her voice evident.

“Oh sweetie, I can’t make promises based on other people’s actions, you know that. All’s I can truly attest to is that he hasn’t been home since he left. But I can promise that we will have the most magical Christmas together as a family. Just like old times.”

“Just like old times, huh?” Lucy ponders with a smile, looking at the twinkling silver lights on her tree.

“Mm Hmm.”

“Not for nothing, I could really use one of Grandma Addie’s famous s’mores hot chocolates, right about now.”

“Oh perfect! …Does that mean you’ll come?”

“I guess so,” Lucy laughs.

“Hunny I can’t tell you how happy that makes me! I can’t wait to tell everyone!”

“Tell them I can’t wait to see them.”

“I most certainly will, you just call when you are on your way and someone will be there to pick you up at the airport.”

“Mom, it’s really okay the flight isn’t long at all, I can just take a cab over.”

“Are you crazy? You haven’t been home in over a year, someone will meet you. You know we give proper welcome homes here in Oakland Valley.”

Lucy laughs, knowing not to challenge her mom.

“Ok, mom, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“Love you too! See you soon.”

Lucy hangs up the phone. She sighs and dials another number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Cami… did you ever buy that ticket to Oakland?”

“Already done boss, confirmation is in your email if you check it.”

Lucy laughs.

“How’d you know I’d end up going?”

“Because you need to.”

“Thank you Cami, and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas boss.”

Lucy hangs up the phone and looks back at the photos of her and Dean.

“Please, let this be the right thing,” she whispers to herself.

Lucy drags her feet across the floor and into her bed room, grabbing a suitcase from her closet she begins to pack and head home.

To be continued…

*I do not take credit for the images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

THE WALKING DEAD WENT TOO FAR!

OK So I don’t know what to think, or how to feel. I do know that I cried, that I jumped up and stood on my couch, then curled into a ball and hid in my sweater. I also know that I am in complete denial. This show, the people, are part of my Sunday night family and it is more than just a show. 6 years we as fans have been on this journey and you get attached to characters, you get attached to their stories and the relationships they make with each other. And in the word of the show, even though you know people have to die to keep the story going, you convince yourself that there are certain characters that are just off limits. A do not kill list if you will.

There’s a lot of skepticism revolving the death of a very beloved Walking Dead character. If you don’t wish to spoiler it for yourself…STOP READING NOW! I repeat SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD, stop reading now!

Ok you’ve been warned.

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About 45 minutes into Sunday night’s The Walking Dead- Glenn Rhee’s fate seemed to be made clear as walkers surrounded both him and well hated Alexandrian, Nicolas. Nicolas choosing to end his life brings Glenn down with him into the pile of walkers and we see them get ripped alive by walkers. Yes NICHOLAS the same bastard who got Noah killed, and shot Glenn trying to kill him. The same Nicolas who we knew from day one, couldn’t be trusted. But Glenn being Glenn, always gives second chances, and tries to believe the best in people, and the best in himself. So when Nicolas asked to come along on a diversion plan to help Glenn lure the walkers away from the group, Glenn let him come and try to redeem himself. This is what now, chance 505, and Nicolas screws Glenn yet again. This time maybe for the last time.

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The view in front of me was a sea of denial. As I anticipated something really bad  was bound to happen with Nicolas is around. But seeing Glenn get ripped apart was some kind of bad dream. I still can’t believe it and I choose to not believe it. After everything he survived, the well, the collapsed tunnel, merle and the attack of  the governor, terminus, etc. I refuse to believe that THIS is how his story ends. That his death is merely a cautionary tale. BULL SHIT. I call BULL SHIT.

And last but not least, I refuse to believe that Maggie is going to lose the only member left of her family, her husband. Their love story has been one of my favorite parts of the show, watching them stumble around each other like two geeky teens in puppy love, to man and wife. Seeing the little moments between these two scripted or not, are beautiful and rare in this zombie apocalypse world. It is the sweetest gem on this show. If you know me, you know my obsession with love stories, so that right there in itself automatically makes this a loss for me as a Glenn fan and as a Glenn and Maggie fan.

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After the walkers “consume the both of them”, you get an obscure view of Glenn screaming and it looks like his guts are being ripped out of him. But then they cut and you never see what truly happens to him, making you think that he’s just dead. (Not to mention that there were 15 minutes of the damn episode left.) Later on Michonne notices Glenn isn’t meeting up with them like he said he would, and he isn’t answering Rick on his walkie talkie either.

However, as I watched The Talking Dead, some theories are starting to cook. Some people seem to think that when Nicolas shot himself and fell into the crowd of walkers pulling Glenn down with him, Nicolas fell on top of him and that is who was being ripped apart. And that Glenn’s screaming expression is just his reaction to that. Some also seem to think that Glenn got free and hid under the dumpster.

Scott Gimple released a statement that Chris Hardwick read aloud on The Talking Dead that basically alluded to a very cryptic possibility that Glenn could still be alive, could be in pieces, could be in flashbacks, or could be a walker. But that Glenn’s story will be resolved. If you ask me that doesn’t help me very much. It doesn’t help my heart. Although the writers and producers have never released statements about a character’s death quite like this, so this ambiguity could just be a cinematic epic lead on …*fingers crossed.*

The cast isn’t commenting on Glenn’s death. Steven Yeun, who plays Glenn hasn’t said a word. And usually they do when it comes to their character’s death. Something smells fishy.

Glenn has been on the show from the first season. He is one of the few originals left that has lasted this long. And he and Maggie are the only true love story on this show. He is one of my favorite characters. His arch has been one of true leadership, honesty, bravery, and love for his group. The family he has created for himself in this wicked world is one he will do anything for. Always following his gut and instincts to trust him to find his way and lead others to safety. Always looking out for the next person, always willing to do the heavy lifting and dangerous work to protect his people and others. Glenn is good, to a fault, as he always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. He is kind, but at the same time has lived in this world long enough to know how to survive.

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It kills me to think that in these last few episodes he and Maggie haven’t even spent any real time together, and they didn’t even get to say goodbye. If this is truly Glenn’s fate, then I’m sorry Walking Dead but this time you really got it wrong. I can deal with you killing Hershel (he had one leg and it was bound to happen but it was such a cruel, harsh death for a sweet sweet man), and Beth (there was a bunch of foreshadowing but seriously after all that time waiting to find where she was, and you still killed her)….although they were the hardest two deaths to take in, I could deal, but Glenn…this I cannot deal with. You need to FIX THIS. Please don’t let this be true, please don’t let this be true. Until next week….it’s a 90 minute episode, so they better make this up to us. And Glenn better be alive.

What do you guys think? You be the judge….Watch the painful scene HERE

Read an interview with Scott Gimple HERE

Signed,

A very anxious Walking Dead Fan

In honor of Glenn…

Here are some of my favorite Glenn moments.

Asking Hershel for permission to marry Maggie

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Proposing to Maggie

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Remembering his Anniversary

(keeping Romance alive even in the apocalypse, is he a 10 or WHAT?)

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Taking a picture of Maggie while she sleeps

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Telling Maggie he hid because he knew he never wanted her to hurt

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Getting out of Merle’s trap

Glenn (Steven Yeun) and Walker - The Walking Dead - Season 3, Episode 7 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

His determined search for Maggie/Reuniting with Maggie

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                                                          Saving Maggie from a walker

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Wearing Armor because he’s brilliant

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Glenn (Steven Yeun) - The Walking Dead _ Season 4, Episode 10 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Water well bait

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Knocking Aiden out with one punch

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Loyalty to the group

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(the list goes on and on.)

*I do not take credit for the images or gifs used.*

-<3-