Finally….A Summer Update

The longer I’ve waited to post, the harder I’ve felt this has been. I went through having zero ideas, to so many ideas-good and bad. And here I am, just wanting to say SOMETHING. I’m a writer, who hasn’t really written in months. Is that normal? I suppose not.

Hi all. I hope someone is still listening. This has been a long time coming, and quite frankly I was hoping to come back with some fun, fancy, well-crafted story or work of art. But it’s just not coming, so instead, I’m going to just speak my truth. Hopefully you can relate.

It’s been quite a long few months since I last posted, and yes when I look back at old posts, I have definitely written many posts similar to this. Being a creative soul is thrilling and fun, until it isn’t. Creativity isn’t always guaranteed. I haven’t posted at all this summer. There are a lot of reasons why, but the number one reason is because well…I just haven’t felt inspired or motivated to do so. 

You know when your favorite YouTuber goes MIA for a while, because they just haven’t been happy with any of their content. That’s how I feel.

I hit these walls where I feel like my life is at a standstill and instead of doing something to change it, I internalize and my mind becomes a ball of anxious thoughts unable to move myself forward. A vessel just going through the motions. I have a really hard time being present in the moment. I’m constantly over thinking everything. It is the most daunting feeling. My mind gets clouded and unfortunately creativity gets pushed to the side. Which is bizarre because I know this is the time when I need it most, to pull me out of my slump. 

Creativity can be an incredible outlet for stress, but sometimes I just choose to ignore the issue and let days pass me by. Filling my time within mindless tasks.  

I wish I had some big revelation for myself. I wish I had some inspirational advice to share about how I’ve just been too busy living life to post, but unfortunately that is just not the case.

I have a case of the summer funk. And I honestly can’t wait for it to be fall. 

The air is crisp.

The fashion is cooler.

The colors are gorgeous. 

And let’s face it, there is a plethora of pumpkin.

Here’s to breaking the silence and powering through. 

I’m going to end this with a quote from one of my Writer’s Corners from back in 2015. It’s amazing how the words still hold truth for me:

“Giving up on that dream [of being a writer] is not in my line of vision. It can’t be. I don’t think my brain or sanity could take it. Too many stories to tell. So when the walls start caving in and you feel like you’re going to emotionally explode, get out of your head. And get out of your own way. And just do what you do best. Write. Because writers feel things deeper than most, and when we tell those stories, someone out there in the universe is going to get it, and feel gotten. Keep fighting, keep striving, and know that there is always a safe place for the written word here on Michelle Leigh Writes. Soldier on my friends.”- Michelle Leigh Writes * Writer’s Corner * “Get out of your own way”

 

**While you wait for new stories…feel free to browse my Short Story Collection HERE

 

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-<3-

 

Summer Time Changes- Let’s Talk

summer-tag-copy[1]I think it’s safe to say, Summer is here and kicking. The 4th is tomorrow and that right there is the epitome of Summer to me. The weather is hot, school is out and life becomes this different existence. Everything is slightly more laid back- or at least it’s supposed to be.

For me, Summer is a bit of an anxiety stressor. My job changes a little bit and I get placed in a new environment, working with new people for the duration of the summer. So that feels like an uproot, and something new I have to get used to all over again. Last year it was actually a really pleasant change and so this year I’m hoping for the same. I’m pretty optimistic that it will be and that’s a good feeling. 🙂

I also don’t do well in the heat so that’s another reason why Summer brings upon anxiety for me. Along with having this extra time during this season, there’s a lot of pressure to make use of everyday and do fun exciting things, everyday. Raise your hand if you’ve compared yourself to anyone on social media lately? #Guilty. I’m sorry I don’t have that kind of money to just be jumping flights, here and there. I have a lot going on in my life that I need to be saving up for, so unfortunately vacationing isn’t in the stars for me. And that sucks, but it’s my reality and that’s ok. Everyone’s life is different.

I think I’m learning to balance my boundaries. Sometimes I know I can push through my anxiety and sometimes I know I have to pull back and give myself a beat. And knowing that has made an incredible difference in my life. This notion is certainly a work in progress, but it’s coming along slowly.

It’s ok, to take breaks. It’s ok, to push yourself a bit, you will learn what you can handle. It’s ok, to say no. It’s ok, to strive for change. And it’s ok, to be afraid of that change, and still go for it anyway. My whole life I thought that I couldn’t use the words risk taker to describe myself. I’m taking that back. Recently I died my hair blue. BLUE! (No not my whole head…they’ll be a post coming soon!) But I have freakin’ blue hair right now and I’m just doing things I’ve been wanting to do for myself.  Different things. I’m just going for it! Sometimes I feel guilty, like wait that’s too much money or I should be here or there or doing this or that. But then I think wait- why can’t if do this for me? It’s allowed! There’s nothing wrong with caring about yourself or the things your passionate about. 

I’ve also been thinking about huge life changes lately. Some will take a while to accomplish, but the building blocks can start now. The other day I was told; “you seem optimistic and seem to be accepting change.” This was an incredible thing for me to hear from another person who knows me and knows how my life is and the things I struggle with. Change is literally the reason why I realized I have anxiety. Anytime change is upon me, my anxiety can peek. It doesn’t always, but if I’m anxious it’s usually because of some change happening in my life.

I’m at a point in my life, where I can see things a tiny bit clearer and the things I want out of life. The things I want for myself. And sometimes that means being a little selfish and doing my own thing. I hate how some may take offense to that,  because it is not intention. But I think that now is the only time I have to be selfish. Other people do it, why can’t I? And that’s not a dig at anyone, it’s just an observation. Once I’m older, and have a family of my own things will be very different. And my husband and my children will be my priority. So now this is my time to sort myself out so that dream of having that life when I’m older can eventually come true. I don’t want to sit back 10 or 15 years from now and regret not going after the things I wanted. I don’t want to resent my family. So this is the time to get my  mind right and just do my thing.

I’m trying to tackle the things that scare me. Granted, I have my days when I falter and I let that fear hold me back, or I allow the laziness of summer overcome me. But I’m keeping high expectations for myself this summer. There are so many things I want to accomplish on a personal and professional level that I am making strides toward those goals already.

I’ve always wanted to write a pilot script for this tv show I’ve had running in my head for YEARS-since high school. The show is written in shifts and on random papers all over my house-some are on my computer- it’s all over the place. I’ve never written a concise first episode. There’s no organization and I am all about organizing this summer. My planner and inspiration notebook are my best friends! So that ish, is getting written THIS SUMMER. I’ve started to do my research, surprisingly I know a lot of the things I’ve found out which makes me feel kind of good. But there was also a ton I didn’t know- things I’m still learning, still researching. Oh you mean I have an excuse to watch television. Awesome! 😉 Your never going to stop learning, ever. Life is full of lessons.

So there’s that big change happening. Which is huge for me, because researching my craft has always been scary for me. I can’t exactly explain it. It was, I guess something I loved so much, that I was scared that if I researched it I would find out how little I know, or how far from my dream I actually am. But my mind set is different now and I realize that I can’t get there if I don’t try. I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to where I want to be. I don’t know if I will ever get my dream of creating my own tv show. But the show is not ever going to leave my heart or my brain. It could be months, and then a story will pop into my head for one of my characters and I will have to revisit that world. Or a line will pop into my head and I will go-“Oh my god that would be the perfect thing for Travis to say to Sara.” (Shhh Spoilers!) 😉

I’ve been thinking more seriously about my next move. About my career long term. I love where I work right now. I know I haven’t given exact details of my work, but that’s because I truly believe in respecting privacy and I want to remain professional. But basically I do work in a school setting teaching creative subjects like writing, and film. And I think it’s been an eye opening experience for me. You really can learn by teaching.

I have a lot of creative projects I am tinkering with this Summer too. I’m not going to reveal them, because I don’t want to jinx them, or put extra pressure on myself to finish them all. I will overwhelm myself with an over extensive to do list, I know this. So let’s just say that my main creative goal is to get my pilot script written and keep learning more and more about writing and working in television.

I would love to track that process on here for you guys to see, but to also be able to reflect back on it and see how I progressed. I hope you’ll come along on this journey with me.

Happy Summer!

XO

Michelle Leigh

Aqua- Mermaid Queen

The 35th Annual Mermaid Parade was hosted this past

Saturday, on June 17th in Coney Island.

This was my third year attending and I dressed up a bit so I thought I’d share my look with you.

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This year I went with a Aquamarine/Teal/Blue theme. All pieces were just to reflect oceanic colors. I added some shell accessories-a bracelet and a necklace. The sweater I’m wearing just seemed perfect because it was this net type material, like you see in the ocean when fish life get caught up in random netting and seaweed. I randomly found this sea shell bra in dollar tree a few days before and I just thought why the hell not. I was a little reserved wearing it at first and I definitely got some looks on the train going there, but I just owned it. It’s not every day you get to dress like one of the sea’s most beautiful mystical creatures. Life is too short to stay in a box.

 

 

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I call her- Aqua– The Mermaid Queen 😉

 

 

 

 

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Me, my mom, and my aunt! When we left it was pouring and we thought to ourselves are we crazy… but we kept going and by the time we got there, it was clearing up. There was a slight overcast, and a mini drizzle, but it wasn’t bad at all. In fact I preferred it because the crowd wasn’t as big and the weather wasn’t disgustingly hot. We got to enjoy and it ended up getting nicer and we had a great day!

 

While I was there I got to check another item off my summer bucket list- to visit the Coney Art Walls.

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Had to rock my mint green vans, cuz…Rain.

 

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And last but not least the food…I indulged and I have no shame. Because it’s not often I get to hangout on the board walk and eat that type of food.  It just screams summer! So I had my usual Coney Island staples – a corndog and a shish-ka-bob. And then I’ve been dying to try fried chicken and waffles. If you know me- you know- I LOVE Chicken…any kind of chicken, and I LOVE waffles. So there was a food truck there and…um….it’s all that I imagined it would be.

Sorry I know that corn dog looks kinda gross, but it was delicious! Haha #SorryNotSorry

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You can read my more in-depth experience from THE BLOG I posted when I attended 2 years ago. I describe in detail how I put together my outfit. A lot of the things I did this year were the same. I did the scrunchy hairstyle with a blue extension, blue hair chalk and a whole lot of product. I also used a similar makeup technique, where I basically just used stick on jewels, and blues to highlight my face and make it mermaid-y plus glitter, on glitter, on glitter. I even used my starfish DIY hair clip again too! This year I liked my outfit a little better, but the feelings of hope, creativity, and acceptance that radiant from the parade are still in my heart. It’s such a weird experience, but I think it’s pretty cool.

Next year I hope to gather more of a crew to go, and I think I may have to really plan a badass mermaid outfit. I’m going to make everyone dress up right along with me! It’s so much more fun, when you join in on the weirdness.  😀

**All images are my own.**

-<3-

Summer 2016 Favorites

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Accessories:

Simple Jewelrythin rings, thin necklace.

*In this heat, too much chunky jewelry is too much to handle. I’ve sort of found my everyday simplicity and I’ve really liked wearing it.

Tan Strapped Sandals

*I practically wear these things every day! They are so comfortable and the color goes with everything. And the marshmallow white bottom gives me 90’s fashion vibes.

Mirrored Sunglasses

*I love a good funky colored shade any day, but when I came across the clear frame and the mirrored lens I fell in love with the sleekness of them. These really do go with everything and they are understated which seems to be my summer trend this year.

Beauty:

Tess Christine inspired makeup

*Tess Christine is one of my favorite YouTubers. And I love her style so much. This look has inspired my recent everyday makeup. With her tips, I’ve crafted a simple, bronzed, nude look that I really love.

REVLON Ultra HD Matte Lip color

*This color is the perfect blush nude, and I love the matte texture. It wears pretty long too. And I got it on sale in CVS for $6.99…BONUS!

Messy Bun Hairstyles

*I cut my hair pretty short earlier in the Summer, so I’ve been trying new hairstyles that will accommodate a shorter do. I’ve utilized the mini pigtail buns often throughout this Summer. It’s a bit funky at first but I’ve grown to like it and it’s pretty quick to style. Which is also a huge plus!

Sea Island Cotton Body Spray -Bath & Body works

*This has been my favorite body spray for quite a few years, but I haven’t been using it for quite a few months. I finished it and then had to resort to another scent, because I just hadn’t been to a mall to pick up a new bottle. I’m very picky when it comes to scents. If it’s too strong it will give me a headache or bring on a slight anxiety. For that reason I don’t wear perfume- just body spray. But recently I made the mall trip and I caught a 3 bottle sale. It’s such a beautiful linen, light, airy, slightly floral, clean, crisp scent. I adore it. 

Tips to Beat the Heat:

Travel water bottle

*This one is so cute holds a really good amount of water. And it as a straw spout which I prefer.

Portable Fan Necklace

*This has been a lifesaver this summer, during these heat waves. It hangs on my neck and blows air up at me. Hands free, does the trick!

Spray Bottle

*I’ve seen so many of those hydrating sprays, but they are always so expensive, so instead I just put some water into a spray bottle and I carry it in my purse or work bag and if I feel like I need to cool down a bot, I’ll spritz my wrists or my neck/chest, and face. You can also bop this into the freezer to chill it a bit.

Entertainment:

TV Show-

American Gothic

*This is a 13 part murder mystery on CBS and it has got me hooked. And it doesn’t hurt that my girl Bethany Joy Lenz has just gotten on board for a few episodes. Check it out…you won’t regret it! SO GOOD!

Song-

“Can’t Stop The Feeling” – Justin Timberlake

“Make Me” – Britney Spears

*Pop royalty is back! Enough said. These two songs have been my summer anthems.

Other:

Sunflowers

*Sunflowers are my favorite flower and this Summer I have seen so many beautiful ones.

Iced hot chocolate

*This started with the dunkin donuts frozen hot chocolate, but then I’ve ordered iced hot chocolate in a restaurant and I fell in love with it. So naturally I started making it at home. I basically just make a cup on instant hot cocoa (with milk-not water) microwave the cup for just a bit to allow easier to mix and then pour over ice, chill in freezer and viola! SO delicious.

 

What are some of your summer favorites & tricks and tips to beat the heat?

Let me know in the comments below!

-<3-

 

5 Struggles Every Girl Can Understand

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Shaving on the regular for the summer…we all dread it, am I right ladies?

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Let’s be real in the Winter, we don’t give it a second thought. But now we actually have to care. What an imposition! Lol. #DangAnkles #AlwaysKnickingMyself

 

Cramps that crimple you…but why is there a war going on in my uterus?

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Seriously though, sometimes I can’t move from my bed and I don’t even want to. #Zombie #WheresMyChocolate #LeaveMeAlone #IllRipYourHeadOff

Rushing to get ready and then this happens…

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Clean up on aisle- I ain’t got time for this! I’m rushing as it is and now you wanna play games.

Breaking out the spanx…Tight dress…You know what you gotta do.

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#CurvesForDays #SmoothItOut #BreakingASweat

Ran sacking your closet for an outfit and coming up with nothing.

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#LifeStory

Ah the trials and tribulations of being a girl. It’s wonderful isn’t it?

We all have our struggles and we all know what a pain they are, but at the end of the day the show goes on and we pull through. #GirlPower #Sweats #MessyBun #NoBra #NoMakeup #Netflix #IceCream #DoYoThang

* I do not take credit for any of these photos.*

-<3-

Summer 2016 Bucket List

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Get a new haircut

Outlet malls

Shop for simpler, more casual clothes for summer

Attend a 4th of July BBQ

Watch fireworks

Great Wolf Lodge with family

Go to the beach at least once 

Pool time

Bates Motel Photo Op at The MET

Coney Island boardwalk-games & food

Cosmic Bowling

Picnic in a park

The zoo

The aquarium

90’s club

Baseball game

Rooftop movie screening

Drive in movie theater

Zumba class

Take a dance class

Pinot’s Palette class

Host some type of themed party

Girl’s weekend

Try an acai bowl

Go to a farmer’s market

Fairs/Festivals

Outdoor concert

Bonfire

Miniature Golf

Make tie dye t-shirts

Trip to Atlantic City

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Here’s hoping I can work my way through this list! Wish me luck!

What’s on your Summer Bucket List?

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-