I’m sorry were you talking to me, or just being an asshole?



To make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by. 



Can Cat-calling and Douchebaggery quit sooner rather than later?

It boggles my mind how men get away with their sexist comments.

When I’m walking down the street, I could be wearing sweats or a pretty dress and the cat calling and comments can stride along.

It makes me disgusted. With those men. And skeptical of male attention in general.

You never know what intention lies behind the not so clever come ons.

In fact it does the opposite of what I’m sure is their intention.

It doesn’t make you desirable when you treat me like an object that is just purely walking the earth for your eyes to glance over and decide whether or not you’re going to comment on my looks.

I may be reading too much into things here, but you can’t tell me how to feel. Quite honestly I think there’s a greater problem here than just the occasional cat caller.

Some women may take it as a form of flattery.

I do not.

It causes an insecurity rather than a compliment. And that’s the major problem.

It causes me to question my attire, and whether or not I should have left the house wearing whatever it is I happen to be wearing. Did I do something wrong? Should I have walked home a different way? Crossed the street? Put my sweater on, even though it’s 85 degrees and I’m hot.

No. No. No. Men need a reality check. Men need to actually think with their brains, not…well you know where I’m going with this.

The truth is I’m a modest person. I dress rather conservatively.

And for me to have to feel insecure because a man can’t seem to be respectful enough to keep his mouth shut as I walk by, is sad. So sad.

It’s not my fault.

And ladies, it’s not yours either. No matter what you’re wearing. Nothing is an invitation for a man to treat you like an object.

I shouldn’t have to worry if my shirt shifts or my dress is slightly shorter than I usually wear. I shouldn’t have to feel shameful of wanting to feel sexy and dress like a woman.  

The best part is that most of these catcalling moments will come from men older than me. And let’s be real I have a baby face and probably look younger than I actually am. So what the hell are these guys even looking at me for, let alone commenting on my appearance.

I’ve been in a few awkward situations with older men where I am made to feel uncomfortable about what I am wearing. And it’s a shame. Because my wearing that outfit wasn’t to seek their attention. It was to dress up and feel girly. My looks are not warranting your comment.

Don’t get me wrong, hearing a compliment is nice every once in a while. And there is certainly an allure to the idea of having a gentleman caller admire you. To have someone want to figure out what you’re all about. It can be very sexy when done respectfully. But the operative word here is….gentleman. Does he look you in the eye? Does he respect your mind? Does he treat you like a human being?

Because the attention we get from these disrespectful men is not what we strive for. The comment isn’t a compliment when it comes in the form of sexual grunts and whistles, from a guy who doesn’t really care about me at all. Or the fact that he’s making me uncomfortable and self-conscious.

I ask these men to think about their mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, your future (or current daughters) …Yea some men are fathers and still pull this bullshit. Think about all the women in your life, who you love and respect and care for. Would you want guys catcalling them and making them feel the way you make me and other women feel?

No. So stop. Just stop. It’s unnecessary and it’s not going to get you anywhere. I mean really aside from being ignored or given a shaded glare of hatred. What do you expect? What do you think is going to happen? Do you think I will become overly flattered by your so cleverly thought out whistle or sexist comment that I’ll just jump your bones, right here in the public street? Because, that’s a big fat NO.  You sir, are not impressing anyone. Quit while you can.

Just because you have been deemed a dog, doesn’t mean I’m a cat. Ok. Thanks. Bye.

Read my “5 Things Girls Wish Guys Still Did” post below.


If women cat called. #WhyWomenAreJustEPIC

* I do not take credit for any images or videos used.*


7 thoughts on “I’m sorry were you talking to me, or just being an asshole?

  1. Cat-calling is the most annoying and weirdly pointless phenomena in society. I’ve only seen it “work” on about 0.1% of women, everyone else either ignores it or hates it.
    People often fail to mention how wide a range of different catcalls you hear as well. “Hi beautiful” is quite different from the guy who tells you literally what he wants to do to your body.
    My only good experience relating to this was with a girl I knew in high school, Lauren. She was a super radical feminist who had really strong (and often correct) opinions on everything relating to gender equality issues.
    One day when we were walking home from school, she saw her brother cat-calling a group of girls in the street with some obscene comments about their breasts. She was so furious that her own brother would do something she despised so she just walked up to him and kicked him in the balls as hard as she could, making him collapse to the floor moaning.
    We all jokingly referred to it as the time Lauren taught her brother about feminism 🙂

      • Glad you agree! One of the sad things was that quite a few girls were critical of her and said that was too radical a response.
        That’s why I always say it’s important to distinguish between different types of catcalling. If he’d just said “Hey beautiful” then it definitely would be too extreme a response.
        But given that he said something like “I’d love to slap those tits”, I was completely fine with it. I think we should kick any man in the balls who says something like that to a woman.

      • I know right! Such a creepy comment. Why do men think something like that will be well received by any woman at all!?
        He definitely learned a lesson though. He later admitted that he’d never been kicked in the balls by a woman before so it was a very shocking and humiliating experience for him.

      • Jesus girls. You can’t just kick someone in the nuts for something like that. That’s insane!
        This is why a lot of people say feminism is about man hating! You need to try other solutions.

      • Not trying to discount that there are good men out there, who do treat women right. But not all women who are feminist “hate” men. It’s insane that he felt he could make that comment to a woman at all, let alone in front of his sister. If you noticed Helen does mention had the comment not been that gross, her friend’s response wouldn’t have been so intense. Maybe men should try other solutions to approaching women. The way I see it is, all men come from a woman, they have mothers, or grandmothers, or aunts or sisters, some even daughters. Would you want a man speaking to any woman you love that way? I don’t think so. It’s just a matter of being respectful. If a man respects a woman, then she will respect him back. At least that’s how I see it. But then again, if you’ve never been a man who has cat called, there’s nothing for you to worry about. We don’t know each other and I’m not going to make assumptions. Just stating my piece, like you did. Have a great day! 🙂

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