BLOGMAS -Day 7- Single in Season

 

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Week One Down!

 

Christmas. 

Such a magical, special, beautiful time.dajf0[1]

Twinkling lights.

Happy tunes.

Nostalgic movies.

Tasty treats.

Decorations galore.

Glitter and glee everywhere.

Right?

A time full of love and laughter.

Family and friendship.

And for some- that extra special love that just makes this time of year burst with happiness and cheer.

Whether it’s a Boyfriend, Fiancé, or Husband, it’s just somehow perceived as “better” with that person.

Right? 

But what do you do… if your single?

Because how is it that around the holidays being single, just feels even more prominent?

Mistletoe kisses.

In front of the tree pictures.

Family gatherings have everyone paired off.

And there you are, alone.

Ugh, of course. 

Here we go again.

And I’m supposed to be cheerful and happy?

I’m going to be really real here…

I’m not going to act like it doesn’t bother me. 

It definitely does.

I love romance, I love the idea that two people can fall so much in love with each other that they realize they have the only one they want to be with, forever.

I have always felt that way.

In my heart of hearts, I love, love. 

And being around so many people who have that, when I currently do not, definitely weighs on a girl. 

And you start to question…will I ever get my chance? My guy? My moment? My love?

I’m sure many of you ladies can relate.

And I will admit there are moments within the holiday season where I will feel my heart ache, and I will wish I had that special guy sitting next to me holding my hand, or look over to see him chatting with my guy cousins (who are probably ranking on him, because that’s what they do). Or baking cookies and wishing I could ask his opinion, or someone to just do all the holiday greatness with- like shopping for gifts, seeing the Christmas lights, or visiting Rockefeller center, or helping me conquer my current fear of ice skating. Or simply just sitting on the couch watching Home Alone in Christmas PJ’s.

Now that I think about it, I’m quite sappy. Haha. But hey I don’t care. You can’t regret what you want, if it’s really something truthful in your heart. And that is the image I have in my heart when I think about being in love during the holidays.

But then I look around and I realize having a relationship would only add to my already happy holidays. My family is crazy. And every year feels the same. Stressful and rushed. 

But I love my family. I love my holidays. 

I love visiting family, going to church, baking goodies, exchanging gifts, sipping hot chocolate, eating my heart out.

I love dressing in silly t-shirts or ugly sweaters and other crazy accessories [See: antlers & Christmas light necklace], chatting with my cousins, playing with the kiddies, and still finding A Christmas Story Christmas Day Marathon to be the greatest thing ever.

I love our bootleg chimney with our old school stockings.

I love my best friend Christmas day I have every year with my best friend Roe!

I love the holidays.

And as much as I may have my moments of sadness at times, I don’t think I would want to ever take the memories I have away, even though I’m single.

Sometimes you have to look at what you do have, and focus on that, rather than focus on what you don’t have. 

Happy Holidays, my singles, we got this! 😉

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Found Poetry

As a “teacher” I am always trying to find new and creative ways to encourage students to write. At my job one of the activities I teach is Creative Writing. This past week, I took a suggestion from one of my colleagues, and tried found poetry with them.

Found Poetry is a type of poetry created by taking words, phrases, and sometimes whole passages from other sources and reframing them as poetry by making changes in spacing and lines, or by adding or deleting text, thus imparting new meaning.

I did a listening version of this with them, as I read aloud-Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” students were asked make a list of all the words they heard that jumped out to them. From that list, students then wrote their own “found poems,” and we shared them. 

After seeing how well it worked, I decided to give it a try myself. It was interesting to see how some students kept in the same darker theme of the story, while others went a whole different almost uplifting route. It’s amazing where the mind can go, and how simple things can spark creativity.

Here is a link to Edgar Allan Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart

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My list of words I gathered included; Heart, ill, control, mad, powerful, heaven, hell, sounds, Listen!, reason, loved, hurt, money, vulture, terrible, dies, animal, cold, blood, warm, friendly, evil, clock, careful, door, success, afraid, dreaming, blue, ice, strong, louder, painful, silence, dark, anger, fear, beating, stone, trouble, quiet, hear, stop, suffering, playing, game, smiles. [47 words chosen]

My Found Poem: [32 words used]

Clocks ticking everywhere

You can hear

We give time so much power

It’s a mad little game we play

that steals away our smiles

Listen!

to the sounds of dreaming

Listen!

to your heart-beating

Reason deep within and strong

Terrible fear takes away control

Quiet trouble no one knows

Silence

Anger

Fear of failure

Dreamful heaven turning ice blue

Has hell frozen over

Money Money 

Ill like a vulture

Closed door

Careful not to forget

Open windows instead

Stone heart

thaw away

Smile your way to success

 

-<3-

*I do not take credit for the concept of found poetry, nor Mr. Poe’s literary work I used as inspiration, nor the image used.*

 

Fall 2017 Bucket List

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Decorate my house for Fall, Halloween, & Thanksgiving

Watch Halloween Movies #Halloweentown #Halloween #HocusPocus

Catch up on The Walking Dead (still on the fence)

Buy Bath & Body Works Fall Candles & Hand Soaps

Experiment with some Fall fashion trends

Research and make Thanksgiving recipes

Try a bunch of pumpkin treats/pumpkin flavored things/drinks

Make pumpkin soup/or butternut squash soup

Go Pumpkin Picking with family

Pumpkin Carving/or Decorate a Pumpkin

Host a Stranger Things Premiere Party

Halloween Movie Night with friends

Pumpkin Party-with pumpkin flavored treats

Dress up for Halloween

Come up with creative projects for the holidays for the classes I teach at my job

 

I know often times we all make bucket lists and rarely get to do everything we want to. However, if I can have at least one perfect Fall day this year, I will consider myself a very happy girl! Now time to just put my plans into action. 😀

 

What’s on your fall bucket list? Did I miss anything? 

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images used.*

 

 

 

Video Update

There are often so many areas of life we feel we need to be good at all the time. And often times we struggle trying to make that happen. It’s impossible. You can do anything but not everything. You can be anything, but you can’t be everything, to everyone, all the time. If you try to, you will break.

As the summer comes to an end, the self-bashing comes for not doing half of the things I wanted to. Summer is kind of like New Year’s Eve in that way, don’t you think? We make so many promises to ourselves and then life happens.

I’ve been really thinking about my relationship with video and film making. And because of this, I’ve learned a few things. I wanted to get really real with myself about this topic.
To back track just a bit, I have a Bachelor of Arts degree. I studied Mass Communications with a concentration in Film and Broadcasting. The dream-the goal- to write for television. And yet when I look at all the video projects I’ve actually finished…the total number is not many. Many unfinished scripts/ideas for scripts collecting dust too!

Back in college, I had to do a few projects- one was a music video which I did for The Civil War’s Poison & Wine and the other was a concept video which was about throwing away stereotypes- it was very abstract and I titled it “Tearing Down The Label Makers.” It’s crazy because I feel like the message holds even more relevance today. Then I worked on my thesis which as you may know was a documentary about a day/or days in the life of my Grandmother who had been struggling with Alzheimer’s disease. I did two versions of that for two separate classes- one was the full version, and one was an abridged trailer version entitled Vai Com Deus.

“Poison & Wine” Video Shoot-

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“Tearing Down The Label Makers” Video Shoot-

Tearing Down the Label Makers

Neither the music video nor the concept video have been uploaded to YouTube, although considering these two were my very first video projects I am still very proud of how they came out and the messages behind them. I’m seriously considering sharing them. Providing the actors give their permission for me to do so, actually I’m pretty sure I had them all sign release forms!

During my college years I also attempted to shoot a script I wrote called Dumb Luck. A lot of time and production went into that but, it never got finished and the footage has been difficult to revive since my college computer died on me and I’ve gotten a new one. I am hoping to revive that and get that up, it’s super raw,  and you can definitely tell I was just starting out but the story is juicy. We only got to shoot the montage sequence. But a few years ago I shared the script, if you’d like to read that…click HERE.

“Dumb Luck” Prop Pictures

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“Vai Com Deus” process-

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Since I graduated I’ve done a few little side projects that are actually finished- I shot a yoga video for my cousin, a poetry video for MLW- to name a few and a couple of vlogs. The vlogs are less planned and less cinematic of course.

Yoga Video Shoot (Behind the Scenes) (this is not available to watch,  even though she was happy with the result-the video was for a school assignment and my cousin didn’t want it uploaded.)

“Secret” Society Video Shoot/Vlogs (Behind the Scenes)

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Then there are more video attempts- there are bits of footage shot for a zombie horror short that my brother and I had been working on. We even got as far as building a timeline of the clips in editing, but then…life. Life came in, things got busy, I got distracted and something else needed my attention.

“Inhumane” process- (Behind the Scenes)

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Its 4 years now since I graduated and it seems that every time I get close to the idea of shooting something- I may do well for a brief time but then cue the rut.

The other day I was going through some old paperwork and things, trying to organize my room and I came across some old scripts and video treatments/storyboards. Both were horror related. One was the zombie short titled Inhumane, the other titled Head Over Heels (which I think would be a bad ass Halloween upload). And when I see these scripts and how the planning process was beginning it makes me want to get back into video. But then I hit a wall and the reality sinks in. There’s just no realistic way. For the past-I want to say 2 years- I have been well involved/invested in the engagements, weddings, bridal/baby showers of many people that are very close to me. And I have had to really dedicate my time and my funds to them. When I think about doing something short/simple- I think how I don’t have the actors, or the equipment, to do so.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, my brother is a photographer and he has a lot of equipment that I’ve used in the past. But I’m very weird about using it, mostly because he’s very particular about it, lol. And I get nervous I’ll do something wrong! And so because of that I am very weird about asking him for help. I feel like it’s a burden, especially now that he is newly married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. Even though he has been hounding me to get back into shooting Inhumane, I know he simply doesn’t have the time, we don’t have the people, and quite honestly there are just so many other things I’d love to shoot instead. #HeadOverHeels #MysteriousAttractionTeaser

I also don’t have the best sound equipment or the best editing software either so it’s kind of like a million things weighing against me. I think about how people would perceive the work I put out. “Didn’t she go to school for film and video? This sucks!” That’s how I feel they would judge it. Along with all the other worries, I fear I may not be good enough at it.

I know this may seem like I’m complaining and I’m not. I don’t want pity. I understand that life is fast paced and ever changing. I love being asked to be part of special moments in people’s lives. People who mean the world to me. But sometimes when everything seems to happen all at once it can be very overwhelming. And we all know that I can get overwhelmed pretty easily and my anxiety definitely tends to spike a lot more when too much change is happening.

I just think that in life you often have to prioritize and these things in my life have been coming one after the other and they need special attention. I’m the type of person who really wants to show up for you on your special day/during your special time. My relationships with my family and friends are everything to me. And so I give 150% every time. (Or at least I really try too!)

With my bank accountant taking some serious hits over the past few years, lol-so has my time management skills. I can multi task…sure…just ask my computer- I can have 8 different tabs open at once and hit all of them. But I can’t say with absolute confidence that I can multi task well all the time. I just end up overwhelming myself and needing to narrow things down. Focus on one thing at a time. Rightfully so…no? I mean how much wedding/baby events/day to day responsibilities can one girl take at once? Ya know? It’s a lot. But thankfully, thank god it’s mostly beautiful, happy stuff, all deserving of celebration. I will always be grateful for that.

Needless to say I know there are ways around this funk I’ve created for myself. I know that fear of inadequacy, lack of funds and time are a huge part of why video has taken a back seat. But I want to try and make some solutions to these problems.

Dear Michelle,

ACTORS ask people I know/ research sites that can help find actors willing to participate for low funds or pizza! Haha. Asking people you know, can be difficult, it doesn’t always work out. My film and video professor used to always tell us to have a plan B because people aren’t always reliable and it can break your heart when a project falls through the cracks. This I know first hand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked family or friends to be apart of shorts and they cancelled on me because of work or life in general got in the way. It happens, I get it. But creatively, it’s heart breaking. Another thing to consider when filming is to keep the shorts abstract- quick cuts- simple images-

Avant Garde it- experimental film, experimental cinema- a mode of filmmaking that rigorously re-evaluates cinematic conventions and explores non-narrative forms and alternatives to traditional narratives or methods of working.

TIME make time- plain and simple. Plan it out, and stick to a schedule.

SPACE/LOCATION keep it local, go where you know- use people’s homes, lol.

FUNDS keep things simple/super low budget- use house hold items.

EQUIPMENT use equipment you have, or ask to borrow equipment in advance.

EDITING SOFTWARE use what you have and make it work.

FEAR“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.” -A Cinderella Story. Your never going to not be fearful of new challenges. You just have to decide how bad you want it, and be brave enough to just do it, to hell with what people think! 

When you’re just starting out, or easing back into something Don’t Expect Perfection! If things are a little janky, it’s ok, it’s better to shoot footage than not try at all. And Vlogs do count. I’ve noticed I like vlogging when I have some cool things to do, I just have to get better at the editing turn around. Mini Vlogmas is still only partially edited. :/ As is the Gender Reveal Party Vlog for my brother and sister in law and a Family Trip Vlog to Great Wolf Lodge we took last Summer. I also shot a bunch of footage of a Polar Express Trip and my best friend’s engagement night. Really got to get back to editing!!!!

*Current Update– Since I last scheduled this post (which was a while ago back in the Summer when I was what I like to call bulk blogging) I have edited my butt off and have finished editing Vlogmas, The Gender Reveal, The Great Wolf Lodge Trip and The Engagement. I however am torn as to whether or not I should post them on YouTube/link them on this blog. I know have alluded to the fact that I would post them, I’ve mentioned it in many blog posts [including the Vlogmas announcement], however I am not the only person in them and I don’t know if others would appreciate their images being out on the internet. I know- why announce Vlogmas, take forever to edit them, and then never post them. The truth is I did do a small Vlogmas, and I did edit them, but I don’t feel 100% comfortable sharing videos of my family. I may just keep them as home movies for me, and my friends and family. But I am excited that I got so many of them done. That’s a win for me!

When things start to settle down on the wedding/baby front, I will start to save up for some new equipment. In the mean time, I just have to do it. Pick up the camera I do have and shoot something. Stop worrying about how crappy it might turn out and just dive in. I know I’ll feel better once I do. And the excitement and natural high of doing something I love will come back. I just need to do and stop second guessing, stop making excuses and just use the time I do have for myself wisely.

The reason for this long winded post is because I needed it. Sometimes you need to reflect on all the ways you let life pass you by in order to make you realize that you need to try a little harder to make your dreams come true. Be a bulldozer – and plow through the writer’s block, through the lack of inspiration, through the Summer Blues, through the funk that I’ve been in, and just go for it!

So here’s hoping to change my mind set! Wish me luck. No Scratch that- Wish me determination!

 

*All images and videos are my own.*

-<3-

 

Move- Chapter 9

MOVE poster

Previously on Move– Read Chapter 8 HERE

Meet Marco

 

Aria walks into work and sits at her desk, Marco smirks and walks over.

“Good Morning,” he says handing her a cup of coffee.

Aria smiles, “Oh. Thank you.”

Marco watches her as she sits at her desk settling in for her day’s work.

Liam emerges from his office with a to go cup of coffee in his hand, he notices Aria sipping on one already and turns swiftly placing it back in his office, upon turning back around he catches Marco’s eyes on Aria.

He cocks his head slightly and coughs.

Marco’s head shoots up.

“Morning Boss,” he says finding his seat quickly.

“Morning,” Liam says rather short.

Aria suddenly stills upon hearing his voice. She feels uncomfortable, she’s never seen anyone be afraid of Liam let alone Liam be short with anyone. Not knowing whether to turn around and make eye contact with him or not. Has she done something to offend him?

“Aria, Good Morning,” he says his tone different. Happy. His eyes wanting and waiting to see the flicker of gold reflected in her chocolate brown eyes.

An internal sigh of relief, the tension falling, Aria turns in her seat with a smile.

“Good Morning, Mr. Whitmore,” she says.

Liam notices she’s wearing a fitted black dress. Although work appropriate, she’s showing the slightest bit on cleavage, which was just enough to drive Liam crazy.

“Is there anything specific you’d like me to work on today, or is it just the usual?”

He goes blank for a second as his eyes say glued to her.

Aria notices and looks away slightly nervous.

Liam snaps back to reality, “I’m sorry what was that?” he asks mentally kicking himself for losing his control around her.

“Is there anything specific you’d like me to work on today?”

“Um oh, yes I have a meeting today with one of the artists we spoke with yesterday. I’d love for you to come along, if that’s something your interested in?” he asks hopeful to be able to spend some time alone with her outside the office.

“I would love to, yes, thank you.”

“Great, I figured since you were the one who she spoke with mostly, having you there would be wildly beneficial.”

“Sounds perfect, what time should I be ready for?”

“We’ll take her to coffee, so let’s say around 3:30?”

“Ok great.”

“Ok,” Liam smiles, “why don’t you come into my office I’ll prep you for the meeting.”

“Oh right, yes, absolutely,” she says standing and walking into his office as she ponders the idea that, the last sentence he said could be taken so out of context if her friends were here to hear it. Molly would have a field day with it.

Aria closes the door behind her and takes a seat.

“Ok so, the first thing you need to know is that we want her to feel as comfortable as possible. So we want to get to know her, ask questions, but keep them light. Artists need to know that we care about what they’re doing.”

“I completely understand,” Aria says nodding.

“Of course you do, you are an artist yourself, after all,” he says with a grin.

“That grin should be illegal,” she says.

Liam’s eyes flicker as his gaze on Aria becomes stronger.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I said that out loud,” Aria says horrified as she turns a shade of red. “I just meant that…oh hell, you have a nice smile,” she says laughing.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, love,” he says laughing.

Aria covers her face, her heart beat quickens, her mind and body soaking in the sexual tension.

“Two weeks, right?” Liam says fidgeting with his tie, is eyes staring at her, not wavering.

“A day less, actually.” Aria says fidgeting in her seat, her legs tan and glistening.

Liam coughs, reaching for his glass of water.

“We should probably continue talking about the artist,” Aria says as she talks with her hands.

“Yes.”

“I printed a bunch of samples of her art, to have on hand. They are in a folder in the right side of your desk, in the top drawer.”

Liam smiles as he reaches for it.

“Wow she really has talent,” Liam says sifting through them.

“Doesn’t she?” Aria says happily. “Oh and she sent a link to a video of some of her pieces actually being created, she kind of walks us through the process, it’s incredible. Here let me just pull it up for you,” she says walking around his desk.

Aria leans over the computer as she clicks away, inches away from Liam, he takes the scent of her perfume in as he can’t help but get lost being so close to her.

“Ok so here,” she says playing the video.

The artist stands in the middle of an art studio, she throws paint at a blank canvas, as it splashes against the white back ground- A rainbow of colors.

“Wow,” Liam says mesmerized.

“Isn’t it amazing, it seems so random, but somehow it’s art, ya know?” Aria says leaning closely to the screen and unknowingly brushes against Liam.

Liam stills as his eyes glance at her, her blouse low, he can see her lacey black bra underneath.

He inhales sharply and straightens his posture, causing Aria to pull back and realize their close proximity.

“Oh what do I know, I don’t paint.” she says laughing and walking away toward her seat.

Liam catches her hand and pulls her back toward him swiftly, and she bumps into his toned figure. His gaze intense, his hands grip her waist as his lips crash onto hers. Aria loses all bets as she wraps her arms around his neck, propping herself up on the desk, as Liam helps her. His lips find her neck, as his hands grip her thighs while they slide up her dress.

Aria sits, starring in space.

“Aria? Did you hear me, love?”

“I’m sorry, what?” she says coming out of her scandalous daydream, her body overheated.

“I said we have to leave for the meeting in just a few, any other questions?”

“Oh, oh no, I’m good. I’m just gonna need a minute…(she says shifting in her seat) to ya know um…freshen up,” she says standing up and rushing out.

Liam smirks, looking after her.

“Less than two weeks,” he whispers to himself.

***

Aria rushes into the bathroom. Her chest heavy.

Trying to steady her breathing, Aria paces.

“Come on Aria, get your shit together,” she leans against the sink, and stares at her reflection.

“You can not be having feelings like this, he is your boss,” she says to herself her hands in her hair.

“Oh my god,” she says covering her face, breathing deeply.

Aria walks over to the napkin dispenser and grabbing one she taps it against her chest, her forehead and then makes her way into the nearest stall.

***

Aria and Liam stand in the elevator, in silence.

Fifty Shades of Grey…seriously why is that the only thought in my head right now, Aria thinks.

Liam’s cell phone rings.

Thank god, Aria thinks.

He reaches into his pocket and answers, “Hello?”

“Hello Mum.”

“Yes… I know you called earlier. Yes she did give me the message, I just haven’t gotten the chance to get back to you,” he says looking over at Aria, who winces and covers her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

Liam smirks and waves his hand dismissing her worry.

“Mum, I’m actually on my way to a very important meeting. I’ll call you later, honest.”

“Good bye Mum, talk soon,” he says hanging up.

Aria looks at him and scrunches her nose, Liam chuckles as his smile beams.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I forget to tell you, it was in between prepping and you had stepped out and then when you came back we started talking about some of the other emails we got and it just got lost in the mess of my brain. I’m so sorry, your mother must hate me,” Aria says rambling.

“Hey hey hey, (he says laughing and grabbing her hands) it’s okay, really it was an honest mistake. My mum calls so much it’d be impossible not to forget at least one. She’ll live, trust me.”

Aria stills, her hands tightening around his, he has this way of calming her.

Aria sighs, “Thank you,” she says smiling.

Liam smiles as he brings her hands to his lips, he places a kiss on one.

Aria’s entire body freezes, as just her eyes follow his moves.

Ok is he serious, this man is a total freakin’ prince, she thinks.

“Don’t mention it, love,” he says smiling.

The elevator ding signals they’ve reached the lobby floor and the doors open.

Liam lets her hands go, “Let’s go crush this meeting, shall we?” he says glancing over at her as he straightens his tie. He steps out of the elevator as Aria attempts to put one foot in front of the other and follow.

***

Aria and Liam walk along the streets of Manhattan, smoothies in hand.

“So that went well, right? I mean did I do okay in there?”

“It went very well, You did very well. The offer for us to curate her work and get it into a museum is on the table and we’ll see what she says.”

“Do you think it’s weird she didn’t accept it right away. I just feel like it’s such an amazing opportunity.”

“Well artists sometimes take some extra time to null over possibilities when it comes to making a big decision involving their careers and their craft. You should know a little thing or two about that, no?” he says playing coy as he sips his smoothie, looking away.

“Ugh, ok, touché,” she says laughing and hitting him in the arm.

Liam laughs, “how’s the routine coming along?”

“It’s coming…slowly…but it’s coming.” she says sighing.

“I’m sure you will get there, love,” he says smiling.

“I have to.”

Liam watches her as the moment stills. There is definitely more to that.

“So what about you…have you thought about handing over some of those pesky book keeping duties to someone else, so you can be more involved in the art process?”

“I haven’t found much time these days,” he says smiling faintly.

“Well you should make time. I saw your eyes in there when she was talking about how much her art means to her, you just lit up.”

“Maybe that was just because I was sitting next to you,” he says smirking playfully.

“Mr. Whitmore?” she says smirking.

“Hey technically we aren’t in the office, so…” he says smirking.

“And your changing the subject.”

“It’s always been a bit of a soft spot for me, talking about art.”

“Why?”

“Why do you dance?”

Aria gives him a look, he mirrors it.

“Ok. fine, I’ll go first. I dance because at one point it was all I had. Sometimes it still kind of feels that way. My parents died when I was 5 and I got put into the foster system. All my family lived in Puerto Rico and they weren’t able to come here. Let alone have the money to send for me and have another mouth to feed.  So I stayed in foster care and was adopted, pretty quickly by a really nice family. But they were pretty strapped for cash too, so life was hard all around. And I just remember my foster mom always playing Spanish music in the house, the same songs I remember hearing as a kid with my real parents and it just made me feel safe. Like a bit of me, was still me. Ya know? I would sit in my room and just dance, all the time. When I was sad. When I was happy. It just became my escape. And when I was old enough to support myself I joined the academy. My foster parents were older in age, and they passed a few years ago, about a few months after I started at the academy, actually.  So my two cousins came in from Puerto Rico. I never got to meet them until just a few years ago. But we would write each other, and they wanted to come to New York and I needed roommates so it kind of all worked out.”

“Wow.”

“Sorry you asked?”

“No not at all. In fact it makes me find you even more amazing than I already do.”

Aria smiles, and strokes his arm, “Your turn, why do you…like art?”

Liam and Aria continue to walk heading toward a nearby park.

“Ugh, what a loaded question. I just think there’s more to the world than what we see. The feelings we feel can be instantly understood by the lyric of a song, or the stroke of color in a painting.”

“Amen to that.” Aria says glancing over at him and smiling.

“I love that you get it, most people’s eyes glaze over whenever I try to explain it.”

“That’s because there’s more you need to say but you don’t wanna say it. And I won’t push you. But I don’t think the question is so much about what you have to say, as it is about why you won’t say it.”

“Ah your probably right about that one, love” he says laughing and looking away. “Your very wise you know that?” he says smirking at her.

“Yes of course,” she says shrugging and laughing.

“That laugh should be illegal,” he says smirking at her.

Aria glares at him, “You don’t make this easy,” she says laughing and rolling her eyes.

“You don’t either,” he says smiling at her as his eyes drift to her chest.

Aria notices.

“Liam.” she says laughing nervously as she moves away from him. Things getting to chummy with her boss.

“Thank you for all your hard work today, I think it’s safe to say that you definitely sold her,” Liam says returning to business.

“Oh no problem, glad I could help.”

“I’ll have to treat you to dinner sometime, ya know, as a thank you.”

“Oh…um…” she sits puzzled.

“What?” he says looking her over, trying to read her.

“No it just kinda sounded like you were asking me out,” she says laughing.

“Oh that’s crazy,” he says laughing.

“Oh I know right, I’m sorry,” she says laughing quickly.

“Crazy enough to be true though, love,” he says looking at her with his crystal blue eyes.

Aria stands frozen.

“And just in case there’s any confusion love, that was me flirting with you,” he says cocking his head and walking off, leaving a stunned Aria standing there.

Her phone rings;

“Hello? Hi. Oh! Oh of course. That sounds great. I would love to. Yes see you tonight. Thank you so much, bye.”

Aria smiles as she hangs up her phone.

“Hey!” Aria yells after him.

Liam turns.

Aria rushes over to him.

“I just got an offer to teach Zumba full time at the gym, so I’m really sorry, but I guess I’m gonna have to quit,” she says laughing.

Liam looks at her, his eyes wondering, trying to see if she’s thinking what he’s thinking.

“I’m not sorry,” he says as Aria smiles and grabs his face, his hands circling her waist, as their lips collide.

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taylor Swift- “Look What You Made Me Do” Video Premiere

Taylor Swift made tongues start talking once again, after premiering her Music Video for her latest single Look What You Made Me Do at the 2017 Video Music Awards this past Sunday.

Although Swift was not there to present it, (definitely a strategic move on her part #LetTheMusicDoTheTalking) her presence was largely felt in the strong images on the screen.

The video opens up in a cemetery with a zombified Taylor clawing her way out of her grave which reads “Here Lies Taylor Swift’s Reputation.” And the dark levels of imagery do not stop there, as Zombie Taylor proceeds to shovel dirt on top of her more “nice girl” self, lying there peaceful, arms crossed.

There’s a massive car crash scene, a scene where Taylor swings on a swing literally inside of a gold cage, robs a bank, lifts motorcycles with her bare hands, builds a squad of robots, and then dominates a dance routine in a sexy black number. Seriously though, my fav look of hers from the video. When I heard this song, this is the look I pictured her in.

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Needless to say, Taylor GOES ALL IN for this video. She calls out EVERYONE! Even herself.

At the 2:21 mark in the video, where Taylor begins singing the Bridge-

I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me
I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

and then hitting us with the infamous line-

“I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.”
“Why?”
“Oh, ’cause she’s dead!” (ohh!)

the hair on my arms stood up as I got the chills as we see current Taylor standing on a pyramid of past versions of herself- the fallen Taylors if you will, all clawing to stay alive as they battle it out for the top spot- eventually losing their grip.

As if that visual wasn’t enough to convince us that Taylor has completely transformed into a “Give No Fucks” kinda girl, we then get a real treat at the end of the video as we see all the different versions of Taylor cat fighting, so to speak. We see sweet country singer Taylor calling everybody ya’ll and trying to keep the peace, we see circus ring leader Taylor bully her and call her fake, biker Taylor call her out for “playing the victim,” “snake lover Taylor” hissing, and many others who some may say call out the disses made about her by other famous celebs. It’s as if a tell all and a satire had a baby and this was the result. It is dynamite and ballsy as all hell. Hats off girl, speak your truth. #WEWILLLISTEN  

And yes there are tons of countless little references and hidden/not so hidden Easter eggs that point directly to the many people who have contributed to the down fall of the old, nice girl Taylor Swift. I won’t go into speculations, because let’s face it the internet is already going into overdrive with theories. Watch that video a ton of times and you won’t be able to unseen them! But girl damn. I am so intrigued by the route she is taking. I feel like she is pretty much a genius strategist. I don’t think she has really spoken out about anything publically regarding her new material and quite frankly I don’t see her doing so for this record. She’s lost all faith in the media to tell her story and do it justice.

In one of her latest social media posts, Taylor announced that her new album Reputation will be sold in partnership with Target. And with the album, fans will be able to purchase two collector magazines, which give them an insight into her creative process. Kind of like the personal voicemails she released on 1989 regarding how she wrote some of her lyrics, but more visual. The caption of the cover art for the magazine reading… There will be no further explanation. There will just be reputation.

rep mags

reputation

All of her posts have been quiet formal, very commercial. Almost a disconnect there. I think she is done with sharing her personal life, because somehow the media always spins it and she ends up adding fuel to the fire that others have taken and burned her with. I look forward to seeing more of THIS Taylor’s journey. It may be scaring the living daylights out of me, but I am in it and ready to see what you got for us TS.

Until we meet her next move.

xo

 

-<3-

 

Netflix Picks

So recently I’ve gotten into a bit of a habit of turning on Netflix and browsing through the Romantic Drama/Romantic Comedies Genre and just clicking play at the first sign of interest.

I’ve watched quite a few and I thought I’d share them with you.

One Small Hitch

This movie has all the makings of a Hallmark feel good film, with a twist. The twist…that major love scene. #YouKnowHallmarkIsTimid As typical as the storyline may be…we all saw it coming…this film was still a great passage of time. And was super fun!

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Be Somebody

This movie is one of those cute teen romances, between a young solo artist heartthrob and a young high school art student. It’s one of those films that kind of leaves you wanting more to the story. With this Justin Bieber looking male lead, and the cute actress that plays JLo’s daughter on Shades of Blue-you just want to see these two kids make it work. I really enjoyed it, but I wanted to see how things panned out, long-term. So many unanswered questions! 😀

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A Case of You

This movie was adorable. I love Justin Long! In this film he plays a struggling writer. (Hmm….instant relatability.) The whole story we follow his journey into crafting himself to be the perfect man for the object of his affection and writing it into story and it’s the sweetest thing- complete with comedy and drama. A+ 

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Playing it Cool

Chris Evans oh my! This movie is about yet another struggling writer. (I swear I get even happier when there’s a writer in the mix!) But the way that they showcase the character’s inner writer’s mind is so clever and so entertaining to watch. He has this way of putting himself into everyone’s stories and we get to see them awkwardly play out. Although this movie is the cliché of boy doesn’t believe in love until the inevitable “HER,” the movie somehow puts this fresh spin on it. She’s engaged. The ending was a little eh,, but overall, really good watch.

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All Relative

A movie with a twist that many of you will see coming. But it was still entertaining as hell. It bridges the gap between comedy and drama with a hint of crazy. You seriously question the characters and the family as a whole. If you think your family has problems…wait until you meet this family…what a twisted bunch!

 

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Blue Jay

A beautiful modern black and white film that will have you saying…wait what the hell is going on? What happened between these two? This movie is bizarre. We see two ex-lovers meet again years after their teen romance. And as they walk through the past we begin to see how much they really meant to each other and the pain of their past is revealed. I will be honest I knew this film would be one of the films that leaves you uncertain, and very they are where they are and there’s nothing they can do what smile and have this one moment, but I was still quite annoyed. I will always be the audience member rooting for love. But there was beauty in the love of these two characters.  I was waiting for some young flashbacks that we never got, but instead we saw these two characters indulge in past traditions at their current stage in life which was an interesting route to take, and I actually thought it worked rather nicely.

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If you have any Netflix picks of your own, leave them for me in the comments below!

 

*I do not take credit for any images, or videos used.*

-<3-

Selena Gomez.

Over the past few years I have really grown to love Selena Gomez.

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VOGUE Magazine 2017

I loved her last album Revival so much and I am loving here newest tracks.

In May of this year she released Bad Liar

Read the lyrics HERE

And then this month she released Fetish-

Read the lyrics HERE

Each song is a new sound for Gomez and quite frankly new for the music scene. I haven’t heard anything like it recently. “Bad Liar” transports you back to the 70’s, with it’s incredible chanty hook. While, “Fetish” dives into this sexy, breathy, lyrical call- drawing you in only like a siren could.

I’ve always admired how Selena managed to grow up in this industry with class.  She allowed her journey into dressing sexier and exploring more adult topics in her music, to be gradual and she is now in a place where all of that is authentic. It’s not just a marketing tool to fuel the “Sex Sells” fame machine, but rather just a young girl becoming a woman. We all go through it. 

I’ve seen her handle herself in interviews and she is just so smart, so well grounded, and so mature. If anyone is worthy of being called a role model for young girls, Selena Gomez is it. She speaks on real issues and is genuine about her love of people and caring for them. I’ve always been impressed by her maturity and how she carries herself. In this recent interview below, I love how she discusses her time in treatment. And how much it’s helped her. She’s unapologetic (and rightfully so), and she knows that therapy can be a positive part of life and advocates for knowing when you need just a little extra help to get your mind right. There is nothing wrong with that.

“If anyone is worthy of being called a role model for young girls, Selena Gomez is it.” -Michelle Leigh Writes

Selena also goes onto to explain that her new material is a collection of songs that each stand on their own, and have different sounds and messages. After hearing the newest tracks, I can say I am officially hooked and cannot wait for this record.

Selena then dropped the video for “Bad Liar” this June and it is a MASTERPIECE!

Selena plays several of the roles herself where we see this rollercoaster of a family navigate their bizarre everyday routine, while a young Selena secretly harbors a crush on an older female character. There are many ways you can spin this, but I’ll leave it up to Selena to tell you the true meaning. I just adore the way it is filmed and the coloring and the 70’s inspired setting. And props to SelGo for really making a statement, AND playing 4 roles!

She really is growing her career in the best possible way with a good head on her shoulders and a kind heart to top it off. I cannot wait for the “Fetish” video, because the audio imagery is super interesting, and the images she’s been posting on her instagram page have been super cool and vintage inspired. Girl I see you, do your thang!

Selena Gomez thanks for being a diamond in the rough girl, looking forward to all the new things this fresh start in your career will bring!

*I do not take credit for any images, videos, lyrics, or music used.*

-<3-

 

Supergirl Strikes Gold with Cat Grant “Dive” Speech

As you may know my current Netflix obsession is the CW’s Supergirl. The show’s second season has just been recently added and I have been a very happy girl. In the premiere episode we see a conflicted Kara/Supergirl as she is now faced with many open doors. Finally getting a hold on her role as a heroine, she must explore her options in new areas of her life; her career and her love life. The man she has been in love with; James Olsen-has expressed how he wants something more than just friendship and her boss Cat Grant has decided to give her a promotion allowing her to choose any position she wants. The world is her oyster and she is completely stuck. She’s scared. She’s confused. So Cat gives her the encouragement she needs, the push that only Cat Grant can give, in her fashionable Cat flare. When I sat there hearing these words, they felt real to me. I could relate to that fear and that uncertainty. The need to want to stay within your safety zone. That fear of change. What she said made me think, made me question my own life. And once again I felt such a connection to this show, and I think that is something beautiful.

“Dive. You’re standing on the shore afraid to dive into the new waters. And you’re afraid because you don’t want to say goodbye to the mild mannered, love-lorn Kara Danvers; the sweet and dutiful assistant to Cat Grant. You are standing there looking out at your options- the icy blue water, the fast flowing river, and the choppy sea and they all look very appealing to you, because your dying to go for a swim. But you know that water is going to be cold, and the journey is going to be hard. And when you reach the other side you will have become a new person. And you’re scared to meet that new version of yourself. Now we all get used to our own personas, and we’re used to our own comfort zones, but trust me, in order to live we must keep daring, keep diving.” 

– Cat Grant [Season 2, Episode 1- Entitled “The Adventures of Supergirl”]

Speech @ 5:07

 

Stream Seasons 1 & 2 on Netflix Now!

Cat Grant is played by Calista Flockhart and I can promise you this speech is just the first of many epic moments of wisdom and empowerment.

 

-<3-

More than my anxiety…

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My anxiety

the overwhelming fear that something, somehow can go horribly wrong

I will not have someone to turn to

to help me

No one will understand

They will think I am crazy or strange

Heat prickling feeling

Heart palpitations

Heavy chest

Hands shaking

Fidgeting

Light headedness

Shortness of breath

Out of body

I’m not here

Mind, and body in a state of Fight or Flight

Which will win today?

Missed opportunities

Try to plan ahead

Avoidance

No Rhyme or Reason

Logic lost

Please forgive my quiet tongue

Please forgive my unfocused gaze

I’m just trying not to fall apart in front of you

Trying to hush this struggle I deal with in my life

You may not always see it

You may not notice it

That doesn’t mean it’s not there

It’s real

Small places

Hot places

Crowded places

Underground

Harsh smells

Triggers

I can’t breathe

I need to leave

Wait, I must stay

I can do this

Breathe in

Breathe out

Breathe

Fight

1…2…3…

Count

Breathe

And then suddenly… it passes

And my world is normal again

I am more

More than my anxiety

More than my fear

I have a name

An identity that goes beyond this one word

I have dreams

I have goals

I have friends and family

I am a creative soul

I love the color blue

And chocolate chip cookies

I am more

And so are you…

*****

SIDENOTE:

For anyone who has anxiety and has had it overwhelm them to the point where they feel like it has stopped you from living your life, I can relate. I know what it’s like to try and find the source of your anxiety. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t and anxiety goes unexplained. Keep going! You got this. You can conquer it! One day at a time. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Breathe. Always Breathe. You may feel like you can’t, but you can and you will. You control your mind. Let me know in the comments below, how you deal with anxiety and the ways you cope and overcome.

 

*I do not take credit for any photos used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-