A little thing called fear


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Fear;

a mind playing game,

to conquer my days,

in it’s selfish ways.

When clouds loom,

threatening to rain down on me.

I look above to the one who holds the key.

The one who shelters me from the storm inside my mind.

Who never lets me go.

The god that my heart calls home.

Thank you for forgiving my wandering soul.

 

 

*I do not take credit for the image/quote used in the image.*

 

-<3-

When Calls the Heart Chat & Style Files

Hallmark series When Calls the Heart is such a wholesome gem. I fell in love with it last year when I binge watched it and got caught up before the return of it’s 4th Season. 

Now it’s in it’s 5th season, and I unfortunately no longer get the Hallmark channel. And I miss it so much! Not only do I miss the fun seasonal movie themes but I miss this Sunday night series terribly! I try to keep up with it through social media, but it’s just not the same.  

I haven’t found a free, reliable way to watch online either. 😦

All I know is there was a Christmas Special which I missed, and then the first 3 episodes have aired. Last season we left off with Jack proposing to Elizabeth who obviously said yes! But then he had to leave to go fight in a war. Leaving us #Hearties heartbroken. 

So Erin Krakow’s Elizabeth Thatcher was left waiting for quite a long time. Waiting in worry. 

Daniel Lissing who plays the role of Constable Jack Thornton, was absent from many of the ending episodes of the 4th season. And from what I’ve learned online, he wasn’t in the first few episodes of the 5th season either. [However it did appear he was home for Christmas briefly]. I hated not having our favorite smouldering Mountie at Elizabeth’s side. 

Needless to say he returned in this past Sunday’s episode and their reunion was so sweet and charming, as usual. Thank you to the sweet soul on instagram who uploaded clips!

 

“I’m home.”

 

Jack and Elizabeth have FINALLY set a date for their wedding, maid of honors and best men have been picked and Rosemary is clearly already in planning mode. 

It’s so sweet to see how happy Jack is to start his life with Elizabeth. He even created a rough blueprint for their future home, and took her to the land he bought for them. 5 bedrooms! He’s planning on growing their family that’s for sure! #LoveScene? 😉 They even had a sweet candle lit dance with a music box he bought while on his travels through the Northern Territories.

“There are so many rooms!”- Elizabeth

“Family is going to grow, right?”- Jack

“Apparently by a lot.”- Elizabeth *Of course Elizabeth has her shy eyes on.*

“I want to put a big dining room right here.”- Jack

“How big?”- Elizabeth 

“Well big enough to fit all of the Thornton Clan.”- Jack

So cute! I can’t take it. He’s so excited!

However, in sneak peeks for future episodes. It appears that the wedding planning doesn’t exactly go so smoothly. With a fire in the church, I imagine that will set things back. And a few moments of pain inflicted in Jack’s eyes, hints that we may get a bit into what he suffered through during the war. There seems to be a potential post traumatic stress disorder story on the horizon. If you ask me that is so realistic and makes total sense. Jack is very quiet in his emotions, very laid back. Never likes to make a fuss. Even when he and Elizabeth had their breaks in their relationship he was never overly dramatic about their confrontations. Sure he’s well skilled in the grand gestures, but he’s worked on them for 5 years, at the beginning of their courtship boy did he stumble over his feet.

Jack is so grateful to come home to the love of his life, but he’s throwing himself into planning their wedding and their future life together without taking a break. It’s all going to come crashing down on him. And I sense from what I’ve seen  so far, that Elizabeth knows that. She’s asked him several times to “Take a breath,” to “rest and relax because he must be exhausted.” She also has been asking him about the war and what it was like, to which he often deflects saying it “was what is was, and it’s over now.”  

“I’ve waited so long for this.”-Elizabeth

“It’s good to be home.”-Jack

“Now we can go back to where we were.”

“No.”- Jack

“No?”-Elizabeth

“I don’t wanna be engaged.”-Jack

“What?”-Elizabeth

“”I wanna get married. Build a house. Start a family.”

“Okay. Catch your breath.”-Elizabeth

“I don’t need to. The thought of coming home to you, and having you there everyday, it energizes me. It got me through some rough times.” 

I just love them. They are so sweet together and he really loves and respects her so much. I get all giddy just thinking about all the sweet little moments they’ve had together over the seasons- playful banter, disagreements, kisses, all the small looks and smiles. Even when they talk about each other with other people they’ve said such sweet things. In fact this past Sunday in a chat with a younger man- Jesse who is courting Clara (Abigail’s daughter in law whom came to live in Hope Valley after her husband was killed in the mine accident along with Abigail’s husband) asked for some advice. Jack responded that he knows he’s smart enough to know how lucky he is. When Jesse inquires if he and Elizabeth ever broke up, Jack answers that there were times when they put things on hold. He and Elizabeth took some time getting back to each other but they did in the end. Jack further explains that if Jesse and Clara are meant to be they will find their way. It was so sweet to see how he is now in this position to give a younger man advice. Many times he would seek his own advice about Elizabeth from sources like Lee, Bill Avery, and Abigail. He and Elizabeth have come a long way and have really grown together. The list is endless, I could go on all day. In fact I’ve been re-watching seasons on Netflix just to get my WCTH fix. I miss it so much! Lol. 

It’s so crazy that they are at this point in their relationship, I mean from their early scenes together, it’s beautiful to see them now so in love. It seems like time flew by. I mean granted I binged on Netflix, I’m sure those who watched live feel like it’s been an eternity. But in many ways I too feel like it’s taken them quite long to get engaged and now married. I mean Jack was courting Elizabeth for quite a while, and Rosemary and Lee even got married in season 3, before our favorite Hope Valley couple Elizabeth and Jack. Lee and Rosemary are super cute though too! I love how he is so patient with her and all her craziness! Lol. 

Although Rosemary came into Hope Valley at the end of Season 1 hoping to win Jack back (Plot Twist she and Jack used to be engaged!) It’s so crazy to see how much has changed, Rosemary and Elizabeth used to be each other’s competition, and now they are the best of friends. And so are Lee and Jack! Lee didn’t come in until the beginning of Season 2 and the two wed in Season 3! So it’s been a bit of a fast track for the Coulters.

So mind you, you can imagine how anxious we #Hearties have been to see Elizabeth and Jack finally on their way to tying the knot. IN TWO WEEKS! Gosh it’s going to kill me not to watch it! It’s such a big season for them! And I am very passionate when it comes to television and my ships! After all he’s had the damn ring since like what Season 1 or 2, I think! It’s been a long, beautiful journey and I really miss watching it live! 

I guess I’ll have to stick it out and wait until Season 5 is on Netflix. 😦 

In the meantime I wanted to chat about the things that make this show so charming. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that it’s set in a small town. I love small towns, and quaint little cafes, church and shops. I love the simplicity of their life, (not to mention that they have such a comradery in hope and faith throughout the town). 

And last but not least I LOVE the FASHION.

Fashion in the 1910’s were all about the long skirts, and the corsets. The lace, pastel colors, and dainty earrings. The hair was also in a league of it’s own with simple updo’s with a twist or long soft curls. In the first season, Elizabeth dressed a bit more showy, with large hats and flashy dresses, after all she hailed from Hamilton where she lived a wealthy city life. But soon she embraced the more simplistic nature of Hope Valley and toned things down a bit. She found herself, she found her home.

But for a character like Abigail Stanton played by the lovely Lori Loughlin, she had a bit of  the reverse happen. When we first meet her she is all about simple undo’s and no makeup. Beautiful no matter what, but soon Abigail starts to find herself again, she starts to find hope too and realizes she still has so much living to still do despite suffering so much loss when the coal mine tragedy struck taking her husband and son from her. She starts to let her hair down again, and begins entertaining some gentleman callers who obviously couldn’t help but fall for her. All while being a café owner and town mayor. Total Girl Boss. 

Simplicity at it’s best…

Abigail Stanton…

I just love it all. Rosemary spices things up with her red crimson wardrobe as only she could! #Theatrics 

*Get the 1910’s inspired look HERE

One of these days I plan to host a 1910’s inspired party. I need to dress up! I’m dying to play pretend and live in Hope Valley for a day. 

When Calls the Heart airs on Sundays @ 9 pm on the Hallmark Channel. 

 

*I do not take credit for any images/videos used.*

-<3-

 

 

The Big Speech

I’m a Romantic. Complete and total romantic. And when it comes to things I treasure, television is a passion for me. I love a good love story. The typical story of boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl and then boy does something stupid and boy loses girl. And how does boy get girl back? By giving the big speech. Full of raw emotional. where he just lays it all on the line, heart in hand. And hopes for the best. Sometimes the roles are reversed and it’s the girl who has to give the speech…just as effective! And sometimes the big speech isn’t always warranted by a mistake or need to apologize, but just to reaffirm their love to their partner. Either way, the big speech is always my favorite.

Here a few of my Favorite Big Emotional Speeches…

(in no particular order…and there are plenty more where they came from.)

Seth & Summer [The OC] 

“You’re undeniable.”

Dante & Lulu [General Hospital]

“I love you, your the sole owner of my heart….Forget hard, I’m trying to make it damn near impossible for you to give up on us.”

Patrick & Robin [GH]

“The fact is I’ve loved you for a long time…I don’t even know when it started…”

Lucky & Elizabeth [GH]

“Everything I am is in love with you…”

“To describe how you look would only cheapen a reality. I couldn’t breathe.”

Nathan & Haley [One Tree Hill]

“I could love you forever.”

Jess & Rory [Gilmore Girls]

“Come with me. I’m ready for this, you can count on me now.”

Ross & Rachel [FRIENDS]

“It’s always been you, Rach.”

Caleb & Hanna [Pretty Little Liars]

“You won’t admit that we’re meant to spend the rest of our lives together.”

Mark & Lexie [Grey’s Anatomy]

“I’m saying you could have a husband.” #BasicallyAProposal

“I love you….oh god that just came flying out of my face…”

Jack & Elizabeth [When Calls The Heart]

“I don’t know if it’s fair to ask you to wait for me.”

What beautiful, beautiful words. They just hit you right in the feels. I love each of these scenes. I love how they display such true love. And I love how you can feel it radiating from your television screen. And that my friends, is why I swoon over love and television relationship arcs.

*I do not take credit for any of the videos used.*

-<3-

Welcome Home-Author’s Commentary

DISCLAIMER: Welcome Home is not a real motion picture nor does it have a soundtrack coming out. This is just me living in my fictional happy writer’s world. Where I pretend and where I run the show. Haha. Back in college whenever I would hand in a script or be working with already written material/feature film scenes, my professor would ask me who I would have play the characters, where would it take place, what location? And so I think that kind of stuck with me, because as I write each of my short story series here on this blog, I want to include those aspects and give you a visual experience. Mysterious Attraction was my first shot at it, A Broken Heart For Christmas, and Love Conflicted followed, and most recently On The Run.

As a kid I used to say “Make Pretend” all the time. Make Pretend you’re a princess who slays dragons. Make pretend you’re a ballerina who bull rides. Make pretend you’re writing a screenplay and you get to pick the actors, and release a soundtrack and commentary that people have been anxiously awaiting. The options could be endless. So let’s “Make Pretend.” Enjoy!

I just re-read Welcome Home, in preparation for this post, and I have to admit, I was really happy with this short story series. It felt more structured and concise.

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Background:

Welcome Home premiered on Thursday, December 15th, 2016. It was a small string of random thoughts and characters I just had to get out! The story continued pretty consistently until Thursday, March 16th. Overall the story was featured on Thursdays here on michelle leigh writes for a span of about 3 months.

OFFICAL FULL CAST PROMOTIONAL PHOTO RELEASED 😉

Cast poster

 

Dream Casting:

Melanie Evans portrayed by Shantel VanSanten

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I fell in love with Shantel when she played Quinn James on One Tree Hill. I think she had this purity about her acting and she is such a natural beauty. She also does sassy comedy really well too. I really thought she would bring someone like my character Melanie to life.

Oliver King portrayed by Jason Thompson

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I don’t know where to start with this guy. I adore him. I fell in love with Jason when he played Dr. Patrick Drake alongside love interest Dr. Robin Scorpio (Turned Drake) on General Hospital. He is such a brilliant actor, I am still flabbergasted that he hasn’t won an Emmy yet. He puts his heart out there and he is so believable. Put him in a scene with anyone and you can see how he elevates the material in his acting choices. How he interacts with them, and uses his body language to convey a believable relationship. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve rewatched him and Kimberly McCullough’s (Robin) many scenes together from General Hospital as they displayed quite the love story. So freaking amazing!

Supporting Roles:

Cassie portrayed by Hilary Duff

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Hilary Duff, what can I say? Loved her since Lizzie McGuire. And that show basically shaped my childhood. She was one of my idols growing up. And she holds such a special place in my heart. She has grown into such an incredible feisty actress and you can tell that she’s done so in a really classy way. The way she handles the more mature topics of life on her new hit show Younger with comedy and sass, is just so damn good. So I knew that she could be the perfect face for Cassie- the sassy, bold, tell it like it is best friend. You know me and how my best friend roles are always sassy!

Dave portrayed by Derek Hough

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I had Duff in my head and I knew Cassie would soon need a love interest too and in pairing her with someone, Hough seemed like such perfect fit visually. I love Derek Hough, I have swooned over him on Dancing with the Stars so many times. I’m sad he’s not on this season. He is such a huge talent and inspiration. I would love to see him featured in more films throughout his career! Hey Derek- I’ll have my people call your people! 😉

Molly King portrayed by Brooklyn Rae Silzer

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This kind of happened by accident. If you know Jason Thompson as Patrick Drake, then you know that he and Robin have a daughter named Emma. Brooklyn plays the role of Emma. And when it came to editing pictures of a child with Thompson and Van Santen, I just thought it seemed completely obvious to have Brooklyn be viewed as Melanie and Oliver’s daughter Molly. She is such big talent! She is sassy and sweet and is sure to grow up to be a huge name! Just like McCullough did! She started her career as a kid on General Hospital.

Aspects I Really Liked:

Reading it back, I was really happy with the way there was some foreshadowing and reveals throughout the story’s unfolding.

For example…

Throughout the whole first few chapters you don’t know what happened between Melanie and Oliver. We never know why they broke up. We know they were engaged, we know they had a past and that they haven’t really seen or spoken to each other in a few years. I like how it keeps you guessing, until he says it- they loss their baby.

I also like how you don’t really know if she’s pregnant again, you expect it, but then she looks at the test and cries at the end of the chapter which can make it go either way. And then at the beginning of the following chapter we start with a funeral type scene and it makes you think she lost another child. Soon you find out it was a flashback to Cody’s memorial. And then we time jump into a new life with Melanie and Oliver and their new baby girl.

I think the foreshadowing worked nicely and kept the suspense going. I’ve said it many times, I write these short story series as if they were a movie, and so these types of foreshadowing, flashbacks, jump cuts would work well I think.

I also thought that I was able to portray bits of their lives, pasts, careers, etc, throughout the story. So often I feel like you have to give it all in the beginning, but I realized that doesn’t work either. You have to disperse the information little by little, when needed. So what I tried to do this series is implement backstory when it made most sense. For example, through conversations we find out that Melanie is a writer and Oliver is a photographer. Melanie’s writing has suffered since her tragedy so we don’t see her writing. Oliver is said to be snapping pictures now and then. I don’t think these things have to be super prominent as long as there are mentions, we get the gist. The story is bigger than this.

We also find out how they met in college through Oliver’s best man and Melanie’s maid of honor speeches. I really love that story Oliver tells, it serves a lot of purpose to the story, and to the relationships within it- Cassie/Dave and Oliver/Melanie. I love love love it! You can just see the scene of how they all met play out in your head.

I really love how we finally get the story of how Melanie and Oliver broke up, as she reads the first passage of her book “Operation Forever,” at her first book signing. We never really knew how she left, and this was my way of answering that question without actually having to force a flashback. Her book title, is a bit of an Easter egg and ode to their little discussion when they got engaged.

“I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel real, ya know. To be this in love.” She says smiling brightly up at him through watery eyes.

“Yea I know the feeling. I guess we’re just going to have to get used to the fact that we’re stuck with each other, forever. It’s all a part of my evil plan.”

“Ah, I see. Operation forever.”

“Something like that. But I’m sure we could think of a better name than that.”

“What- why I like it.”

“Well if you like it, then I like it.”

Flashbacks however are utilized when needed, and they are brought on by familiar moments-déjà vu, or scenery from her home town. The first Chapter we see her have a flashback to she and Oliver in their own apartment, engaged, during happier times. And it is brought on by watching her reflection as she puts on some lip-gloss- a menial task she’s done many times in front of him as he would watch and admire.

Then throughout her home coming she is catapulted into many memories, memories she’s tried to stay away from. She sees their names carved in her front porch, and remembers the first time he told her he loved her and that he wants to be with her forever. At home in her living room, in front of the fireplace, she has a flashback of them making love, walking through town she sits in the gazebo and remembers when he asked her to marry him. All of these things make her feel and in turn make us feel because we see how much these two people love each other. And how painful it is for them to not be together. But I also really love that these flashbacks were placed well, within reason, and were brought on by her familiar surroundings.

Through more conversations we see how close they really wore, how they had the same friends, how her family took him in and welcomed him on school breaks, how he knew her bedroom pretty well and they “broke some house rules” every now and then as teens. 😉 Oliver even makes mention to the fact that he will “crawl into her window” at night if he has too, which makes us realize this was something he may or may not have done as a young teen in love. Oliver bakes her, her favorite sugar cookies and knows her obsession with New Kids On The Block. He knows her mom’s cooking and how they go all out for holidays. There is so much history there between these two and you don’t have to see their whole relationship to know that.

“What?”  “Nothing.”

This is something I revisit this dialogue exchange a lot throughout the story, and their relationship. A lot of the times it’s Melanie who catches Oliver watching her and says What? And in turn he says Nothing. It’s a bit of a flirtation and a cute game for them. And it resurfaces a few times between them. Even at the end, when it’s reversed and Oliver realizes how annoying it can actually be. Lol.

Timeline:

Speaking of Holidays, I think I was inspired by them when I wrote this. I had written a good portion of the first chapter or so, before I posted and so I was in a family holiday mood. So I took that inspiration and the holidays kind of built my timeline. We Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. There are certainly time jumps in here too, but I think that’s only natural, for this kind of coming home, and coming into your own skin story. We need to jump around so we can see the characters grow and learn to better themselves.

Slideshow Feature:

I also think utilizing the slideshow feature in the last chapter was my way of showing their lives together and the things you missed. (Yes, I know some of my edits are super crappy and bad, but I tried, haha.) This tactic helped me fill in some blanks. In my head I just saw the scene playing as if it were in a movie- a time jump and then a happy family at home, as you see pictures of their lives together dress their walls. Their child growing throughout the years along with their love. Notice most of the pictures look professional, because you know Oliver King was like Um excuse I will be taking all my daughter’s professional pictures, thank you. Haha. Did you spot those Paris pics? – Another little Easter egg to show he actually took her like he wanted to.

“God I’ve missed this town.” Oliver says smiling looking around.

“Missed it? I thought that you were living here?”

“I was. For a long time. I still have a place here. But work kinda takes me all around nowadays. I’m kind of a nomad.”

“I see. Traveling must be nice though.”

“It is. It’s really amazing Mel. I’ve been to Ireland, Italy, and France, I stayed at this little bed and breakfast in Paris, the couple that ran it were two of the sweetest people, and every morning they would make me blueberry waffles, sausage and bacon. And my room, it overlooked this little lake, it was breathtaking. You would have loved it.”

“I’m sure I would have,” she says smiling up at him.

“Maybe one of these days, you’ll let me take you there.”

“Maybe.” She says looking away, fidgeting with the cup in her hands.

“Always forgetting your gloves.” He says noticing and smirking at her.

Within the slideshow we also see an image of Baby Boy Cody’s sonogram which means he is still part of them and their family which was important for me to show, because that loss was such a big part of their lives, their love and this story. And I love that they each have Cody tattoos, they got separately, to honor their son. It shows they think alike.

Love Scenes:

I back tracked and looked at what I wrote for my last short story series- On The Run, and when it came to writing love scenes, this is what I wrote… [One of these days, I won’t blush while writing a love scene. I won’t hide in a corner shielding my computer screen from curious eyes. I won’t feel ashamed of what I’m writing. I find that when I write a love scene, I continuously edit myself. What if a family member of mine reads this? Oh my god what will they think? The people in my life have a certain perspective of me. I’m a pretty reserved personality, and so writing these scenes would be something they wouldn’t even think I do, or can do. So there’s a barrier there for sure and I feel like I need to work on being more free and not so constrained and worried about what people will think. If anything hopefully they can just realize that what I’m trying to do by writing these scenes, is to craft a beautiful love story.] In many ways this still applies, I need to work on this and I definitely still edited myself a lot this series. I had written much more juicer material, but I wanted it to read with a certain tenderness and I felt that would get lost in the lust factor, so I edited it. However, I do still think I am getting better at writing love scenes, because even reading the love scene back today, I was surprised I left certain things in. With that being said though, I still think it reads the way I wanted it to be read, a couple so in love they can’t contain it. I don’t think it reached a trashy point.

Themes:

Coming Home/Finding Home, Family, Friendship, Hope, Loyalty, Heart, Unconditional Love, Forever, Fear, Creativity, Soulmates, Heart vs. Head, Overcoming Obstacles, Tragedy.

As you read this series any of these themes can pop into your mind, Melanie is so torn. She has the whole world at her feet, family and friends waiting to support her, her dream career in her grasp, a man so in love with her he’d wait forever for her, but yet the heartache of losing her child years ago force her into a stubborn isolation. She had a lot of soul searching to do, that unfortunately she needed to do on her own.

Oliver is her ray of light, her hope, he loves her unconditionally and he is not willing to let her sit in that dark black hole of isolation for too long. However, you can see that he knows how he has to play this. He can’t just pounce. She’s already used to running, and she will continue if anyone makes any sudden movements. So you see him pull back here and there. He knows when she needs to walk away. And it baffles Melanie that he could be that understanding. He’s pretty perfect. But not without his faults, he is human. There are moments where you see him falter. We see him not be so understanding, but in the same breath he takes on the blame, so that she doesn’t have to, and even then Melanie pulls away because she can’t comprehend his unwavering love.

It isn’t until he backs off completely that she realizes she needs him. When she finds out she is pregnant with another one of their children. And when she actually chooses to include him in what is going on. Once she finally admits she needs him not only to him, but to herself, the whole story kind of becomes well rounded. Things are full circle and all the stress is forgotten as they embark on their journey together. Because he was never going to give up on her, he just needed her to come to him.

the gang

Friendship is always a factor in my stories, there are always the supporting roles- the best friends, because I think our main characters need somewhere to go and vent. I think I would have liked to explore some more conversations between Oliver and Dave. Now that I think about it I’m sure Oliver would vent at times. How could he not! Melanie drove him crazy! And Dave was part of the whole reason why Melanie and Oliver met in the first place, he knew their story. I think friendship is always such a strong consistent theme in my stories, because it’s a strong theme in my life. I have a core group of friends who I go to with everything. I have a best friend, I’ve known since kindergarten, hence the childhood best friend inspiration. #CassieAndMelanie.

Character Building:

I feel like it’s easy to relate to both Oliver and Melanie. There’s a push and pull between them. They have so much love and attraction between them. And unlike my last short story series On The Run, these two didn’t just meet, they’ve known each other for many years. They have a really heavy past and they know things about each other that form a very sexy, real, loyal bond.

It’s easy to hate on Melanie, I think. She left. She ran. And continues to do so for the better part of the series. She wasn’t there for the man she loved. When he obviously continuously put her first. It’s definitely a frustrating concept. She even lets Oliver think they are getting back together after what happened between them on Christmas. But there is this really complex nature about her that I hope is displayed to the audience. I wanted her to be conflicted. She didn’t run because of Oliver, she ran because of herself. Because she wasn’t herself. Because she was worried she wouldn’t be able to give him what he deserved; a family. She knows what she’s doing, she knows she’s hurting him- she admits it, but she can’t help it, because of the pain that weighs on her heart.

So in that sense, I feel like you can put yourself in her shoes, and understand why she has been acting the way she has. It’s not that she doesn’t love him. She does, but she’s caught between that and her pain. She pushes him away because she can’t handle reliving it.

Oliver has a really beautiful evolution I think. I really love his character. And I think if this were ever made into a real short film, Jason Thompson would kill this role! There’s this intense vulnerability in Oliver. He loves with everything in him. He’s made up his mind about Melanie a long time ago, it’s just he’s waiting to make his moves.

“You’re my forever, plain and simple.”

He lets her run, he lets her have her time. But he is always there if she needs him… when she needs him. And after years he still held onto that love and that loyalty. As I said he seems pretty perfect, but he’s not without his faults. And eventually he reaches a point where he tells Melanie that he can’t do it anymore, but even though she believes it, he knows it was just another tactic on his part. A heat of the moment type of thing.

“You’ve been kind of distant today, I guess I understand, but I have to admit, I am surprised.”

“I’ve learned to let you come to me. I figured if I kept my distance long enough you might miss me,” he says smiling.

Oliver has a lighter heart, he tries to make Melanie smile, and remember the good. He doesn’t dwell on the negative. With that being said, it’s not that Melanie’s miscarriage didn’t affect him. It did, but he chose to take his pain into his own hands and get the help he needed, and in doing so he was able to understand things from Melanie’s perspective. He even states that he knows it’s more difficult for a woman, she physically experiences the loss. Oliver remains strong and lets her lean on him, and that’s why we never see exactly how he handled it, but we know what he had to do to handle it. The story isn’t about his pain, it’s about theirs and how he will love her through hers no matter how much she pushes him away or how long he has to wait.

The main themes of love, hope, loyalty, friendship stem from everything these two people in love have between them. It’s everything they are. It’s a forever love story that can withstand all the pain and distance life throws their way. It’s a story about coming home, finding home, not just in a place, but in someone else’s heart.

Description/Imagery:

In my last Author’s Commentary (which was for On The Run), I wrote BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE! And reading Welcome Home back, I feel like I listened. The story is set mostly during the holiday season in a small town in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You get a feel for the holidays by the scenery description of her childhood home and her walks through town.

What Needs Work:

I can always work on description, even though I’m improving. Timeline, is always tricky for me. I feel like you can get lost in time jumps and life events, and school years, and misjudge years. But hopefully I did ok, in this one. I will keep better track of this next time! As well as continue to learn about writing effective love scenes that fit the love between two charcters.

Final Comments:

I’m really proud of this short story. I think it was more thought out, and paced nicely. It ran here on michelle leigh writes for 3 months, and my posting schedule was pretty consistent. I feel like it was the most consistent of any of the short stories I’ve written. Let’s dive in and show you what I mean…

Chapter 1- posted on Thursday, Dec. 15th, 2016

Chapter 2- posted on Thursday, Jan. 5th, 2017

Chapter 3- posted on Thursday, Jan. 12th, 2017

Chapter 4- posted on Thursday, Jan. 19th, 2017

Chapter 5- posted on Thursday, Jan. 26th, 2017

Chapter 6- posted on Thursday, Feb. 2nd, 2017

Chapter 7- posted on Thursday, Feb. 9th, 2017

Chapter 8- posted on Thursday, Mar. 2nd, 2017

Chapter 9- posted on Thursday, Mar. 16th, 2017

I kept to posting on Thursday, this way to allow other categories time on my blog and not saturate it with one thing. I posted consistently one chapter a week for the better part of the series, give or take a few which even then the longest break was no more than 3 weeks.

In other words, I think I’m slowly conquering the dreaded hiatus drama! Hallelujah!

So there you have it, my in depth Author’s Commentary.

Welcome Home Says Goodbye.

JK…Stay Tuned for a separate Soundtrack post…COMING SOON!

Thank you for reading!

Catch up on Welcome Home from the beginning HERE

And get a sneak peek at my next short story series HERE

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Night Rainbow

I had been struggling with a topic for today’s Monday post, but then suddenly inspiration struck Sunday Night and it came in the form of art in the sky.

Casually chilling at home with my family, working on some lesson plans for the week, my Dad suddenly begins ranting and raving about the beautiful rainbow outside.

I walked over to my kitchen window to take a glance and it was such a bright beautiful one, I had to run outside and see it clearer. It was actually a full arc and a double rainbow. Below is a slideshow of pics I snapped. The last one, is a bit enhanced and cropped to be posted on instagram. But still the pictures don’t do it justice.

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So what does a double rainbow mean?

WeatherChannel.com explores the logical;

As sunshine breaks through the clouds and beams towards the raindrops, some of the light encounters the raindrops and bends – this process is called refraction. When the light refracts, the process causes the sunlight to separate into different wavelengths. These different wavelengths correspond to different colors: red and orange correspond to longer wavelengths, while blue and purple correspond to shorter wavelengths. 

The refracted light waves then bounce – or reflect – off of the circular edge of the raindrop, and then they refract again as they exit the raindrop and travel through the air.

Because raindrops are relatively round when the sunlight refracts through them, the visual result is a spherical arc that soars all across the sky. Viewers who are lucky enough to see a whole rainbow will observe a colorful arc spanning the entire Earth, from end to end.

A Double Rainbow! What Does This Mean?

During a particularly lucky scenario, two rainbows will form at the same time. The first and brighter rainbow is called the primary rainbow. This rainbow is created by the process described above, and only requires the light to reflect off of the raindrop once before refracting out of the raindrop.

Read More HERE

Sure there are scientific reasons as to why these colors get displayed post rainfall. But there’s a spiritual meaning behind rainbows too. Let’s dive in a little deeper, together, shall we?

According to universeofsymbolism.com Rainbows mean so much more than different colorful wavelengths forming from a mixture of rain, clouds and sunshine.

A double rainbow means serendipitous magic is on the way, the path of personal magic is opening for you. Be true to yourself and your dreams and know that the Universe is conspiring on your behalf. This also tells you that your intuition is keener than you might have imagined…it says “it’s a sure sign to trust your vibes.”

Read More HERE

There are also some biblical references involving the symbolism of rainbows.

12. And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you and every living creature with you, for everlasting generations: 13. I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth . . . and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. (Genesis 9:12, 15, HBFV)

Read More HERE

I personally think I’d side with the biblical and spiritual side of things. Sure rain happened and we got a rainbow- but why today? Why now? Was it the hope we all needed to see. An uplifting of sorts, a unique energy from God, a sign? I’d like to think so. I’d like to think it’s God telling us he’s with us. Because to me the world is far too big, too big to believe that we aren’t being watched over by a greater, much higher power.

So…what’s your take on rainbows? See any recently?

*All pictures are my own.*

-<3-

“Don’t Cry” – Something we should never say

Dont Cry

 

“Don’t Cry”

We say it all the time.

To infants.

To friends.

To ourselves.

I found myself holding back tears often. In fear of showing “too much” emotion. Yet as I grow older I realize the importance of allowing yourself to express those emotions. It is not good for you, for your health, for your relationships, to keep things all bottled up inside. It’s important to let them out.

“No cry.”

“Stop crying.”

I’ve caught myself and others saying this to my goddaughter.

It’s a reflex, I think. An attempt to soothe, to calm, to comfort.

We say it because we are uncomfortable in the moment, in the sadness. In seeing someone we care about dealing with that sadness or hurt.

We say it because we think we are helping. Because we don’t know what else to say.

We are indeed trying to help.

There are good intentions behind it.

But at the age of 3 now I have seen her try and stop herself from crying when she is sad, or hurt, and it’s a lesson she doesn’t need to learn. Not now. Not ever.

“Don’t cry.”

We say it all the time.

But is it right?

When we say these things, we are telling ourselves, telling others that it’s not ok to feel.

That feeling whatever it is we/they feel is wrong.

But it isn’t.

Crying is natural.

We have tear ducks for a reason, no?

It’s a bodily function.

Blame it on biology.

Or applaud it, for allowing us a form of expression.

It’s ok to cry.

It’s ok to feel whatever it is you feel.

Whether you are right or wrong, in that moment, you feel it.

And no one can change that.

No one can tell you how to feel.

Because feelings aren’t something you can always control. And that’s ok.

And I’ve learned that sometimes the tears are just going to come.

And you have to learn to be ok with that.

Screw it.

Let the tears flow.

Sure it’s awkward.

It creates some unnecessary anxiety in you.

“What will people think?”

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with me?”

“I’m a total mess.”

“I look ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe I let this happen.”

No, you can’t control it all the time.

No, you are not a mess.

You are human.

Life will go on.

You will recover.

You will be ok.

Life is going to take a toll on all of us at some time, whether you are a child or an adult.

Whether you are crying because you lost a loved one, because someone broke your heart, because you finally got that job you always wanted, or because well… you are PMSing and watching Pocahontas. #Trustory #ColorsoftheWind #GetsMeEverytime

These thoughts of uneasiness stem from that gut feeling in you that thinks you’re doing something wrong. #ThanksSociety That somehow crying in front of people means you will never recover, or that it’s the end of the world for your social life.

But everyone is human.

People understand.

And one day it’ll be your turn to comfort a friend in need.

When you let whatever hardship you’ve been harboring out you feel a sense of relief and release. Letting go of whatever it is that is troubling you.

It is OK to cry. In Public. In Private.

Cry- if you want to.

Cry- if you have to.

Cry- because you need to.

And never let anyone make you feel less because of it.

It takes just as much strength to be vulnerable in front of someone that it takes to remain “put together” all the time.

Strength isn’t void of feeling.

It’s allowing yourself the space and time to go through the emotions you need to feel.

Once you do, you’ll feel a little bit lighter.

Cry like it’s your party and you want to.

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images or gifs used.*

 

 

The Sarcastic Romantic

 

Sarcastic romantic

Wherefore art thou?

Balconies tall yet far

Unseen through traffic lights

though country stars may shine bright

Crickets were never your calling

Racing minds

Time passes by

But you stand still

Worlds revolving around you

Not in the way you’d wish them to

Dark nights

Moonlight

Stars in the sky

A twinkle shines bright

A plane jetting off to some unknown place

Managing to make things feel like time will never pass

Was she forgettable?

Because she didn’t forget you

Maybes and what ifs

Second guesses

And questions of character and personality

When the truth is simple

He’s no Romeo

At least not your Romeo

He’s not going to fight for you

Or die for you

He’s not going to show up and confess his love

He’s not going to throw pebbles at your window

He’s not your Romeo

Move on girl

Let it go girl

Its ok I gotcha

Suddenly misrepresented

It’s frustrating

What did they mean?

How far would you go?

To rekindle a fallen romance

A feeling you once felt

Something that til this day

Has stayed deep within your soul

Memories trail blaze

Ablaze in flames

Smoke; the only recognition that it was ever even there in the first place

Whatever “it” was

And you sit and you wonder

Heart skipping a beat

Causing an involuntary flutter

Did you miss it?

Did it pass you by?

Were you clueless?

Or were they selfish?

With a capital I

Or was it fear?

Why are we always so afraid to feel?

Afraid to show that feeling to someone else?

Maybe they will agree

Maybe they’ll get it

Maybe they’ll feel what you feel

And you’ll ride off into the sun set on the white horse he came trotting in on

Or maybe they won’t agree

Maybe they won’t get it

Maybe they’ll never feel what you feel

Or felt

I guess that’s the risk you take when you wear your heart on your sleeve for others to read

I guess that’s the risk you take in everything

Signed,

Sarcastic Romantic

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It’s better than being hopeless

At least this way

You learn to laugh at yourself a little

Be gentle to others

While you’re protecting your heart from the fears they hold

Think about the other person’s heart

What are they trying to protect theirs from?

The heart is something that isn’t meant to be broken

But it often is

Riddled with emotional scars and experience you may not necessarily want

We trick ourselves into thinking that getting our hearts broken is common

That every heartache is a growth process, a lesson learned

And that may be true

But what happens if you fall in love and that person fell back

And it stuck

And you lived happily ever after

Wouldn’t that be something?

That’s the magic in believing

Call it hopeless

Call it childish

Call it whatever the hell you want

Maybe the fairytales got it right

Stay Hopeful

Stay Sarcastic

But most importantly

Keep your soul Romantic 😉

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 *I do not take credit for any images used.*

-<3-