What is “Sexy”?

SEXY. It’s a term we all use. Thanks to Victoria’s Secret catalogs it’s a term we’re slapped in the face with…during the commercial breaks for our favorite tv shows. Often times used to describe someone’s physical appearance. You see someone walk by and they catch your attention and it’s like word vomit if you’re into cat calling and such (gag), for the rest of us it’s an inner thought encased in our own mind and possibly conversed to a friend walking beside us.

“He’s Sexy.” “She’s Sexy.”

But when you really think about it, what is sexy? What about that person, makes them sexy? Beyond that first glance.

singingggI remember back in 2006 when Justin Timberlake released his very controversial yet highly praised and danced to; mega hit “SexyBack.” As the lyric states Justin claimed he was “bringing sexy back.” Because you know clearly it had left on vacation in the time span between his first and second solo albums. It did. Music is just sexier when Justin Timberlake’s on the charts. #Truestory.

Anyhow, moving on. I remember him doing the whole press round up during that time. Being interviewed time and time again, being asked the same questions over and over again. I wonder how they just don’t pull their hair out! Anyway, I can’t remember if he was on Ellen or Oprah or some other talk show and I’ve tried to find the clip continuously but have come up empty handed. But allow me to explain it for you. When asked what “SexyBack” was about and how he defined the word sexy, Justin simply stated;

“Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.”

And I have always remembered that quote because to me it was beautiful and profound on some level.

I think what he said is so true. Sexy is not defined solely by a person’s physical appearance. Sure it obviously contributes to your initial attraction. But that can all change once you get to know a person. Sexy is about how one carries themselves, it’s about personality. For me sexy is tied to class. Class is tied to confidence. Confidence is often rooted in the fashion you wear, in the profile you hold with the list of checks you embody on your life’s to do list. Confidence in one’s self is important but over confidence or cockiness is usually a turn off. You have to understand that no one is perfect, and you have to be willing to except opinions that may not coincide with your own. Everyone is different.

As a young woman I speak on behalf of us all, when our hair comes out right and our outfit is something we’re excited about, our nails are done and we (and by we I mean me) feel like actually taking the time to do our makeup, it’s an instant confidence booster. And it makes us feel good. The same way I’m sure guys feel untouchable when they put on a suit and tie or a tux. Ughhhh guys have it so easy….suit, tie, shoes, gel the hair, shave a little (or don’t…scruff is nice) and boom, done. But hidden secret; girls don’t dress for guys, we dress for other girls like us. I mean come on. Chances are your boyfriend doesn’t know a crop top from a regular top. He doesn’t get it, and it’s not his fault, it’s in the genes. So when I dress up I do it because I feel like doing it, and because it’s an instant conversation starter for me and my girls. Where’d you get your top? I love your lip-gloss. That’s basically what dinner with my friends sounds like.

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Sexy is about what you wear, but it’s also about how you wear it. Sexy is about making them work for it. Sexy is about your laugh, your smile, the way you talk to people. Are you polite? Do you hold doors open? Do you pull out chairs? Are you respectful of your elders? Do you value a person’s opinion and thoughts? Are you a family person? Are you a good listener? What kind of music speaks to you? What dreams does your heart hold? Do you look past the exterior and take a deeper look? Sometimes when you do, you find the truth. Maybe it’s something that attracts you more, maybe it’s not. But that deeper look is important. Otherwise why are you wasting your time?

It’s easy to say sexy is defined by muscles, a six pack, cleavage, racy outfits, or arrogance. It’s easy to fall for someone because they have a cool car, or are able to buy you fancy things. But all of that changes perspective when you push pass the physical and materialistic items. Add class. Sexy is not without imperfections it’s about how you accept them and own them and make them work in you favor.

Sexy is about being who you are. And being ok with that. Sexy is about everything that makes up who you are. Your likes and dislikes, your quirky habits, your favorite television shows, whether you’re a wine or beer drinker. Or if you don’t drink at all.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Justin Timberlake fan. It’s no secret that I think he’s sexy. But granted, baby singingyea that includes his looks, but it’s more about the whole package. And no I am not referencing his “D in a B” skit. So get your minds out of the gutter. I am merely stating that his sexiness is tied to more. Like his class, his gentleman side, his talent, his voice, his ability to make people laugh, his personality. Fame is a tricky business. We only see what they want us to see. So until I meet him for myself let’s just say he seems like a real nice guy. I just think Sexy needs to be grounded in who are person truly is. Because that’s where their heart lies.

Classy ladies, who always get it right…

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Sophia Bush; Actress, Feminist, Activist. Avid live tweeter with Chicago PD fans! BADASS.

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Bethany Joy Lenz; Mother, Singer/Songwriter, Actress, Writer, Feminist. BADASS.

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Demi Lovato; Singer/Songwriter, Actress, Social Environmentalist BADASS.

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Taylor Swift….that pretty much says it all. BADASS.

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Jennifer Lopez; Mother, Singer, Actress, Executive Producer, Business Woman, Best Booty in Hollywood, Proud Latina! BADASS.

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Selena Gomez; Singer, Actress. BADASS.

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Emma Stone; America’s Sweetheart and all around goofball. Actress, Activist. BADASS.

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Lauren Cohan; Actress. Slaying Zombies every Sunday night like a BADASS, (and looking flawless while doing it) That deserves a second BADASS.

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Lucy Hale; Actress, Country Singer. This little liar may look like Selena Gomez, but she’s just as sweet too!

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Tamera Mowry- Housley; Mother, Wife, Twin, Actress, Talk Show Host, Reality TV Star, Business Woman. BADASS.

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Jessica Biel….I know I know. She picked Justin’s wife? I thought she hated her? Well I don’t. I think she is gorgeous (next to JLo I think she’s in the running for best Hollywood booty.)  However, she also seems incredibly sweet and humbled. And I think that as annoying as it is to be a fan of Justin’s and never see him and his wife act like a couple, I completely respect why. Fame is scary and the more you let people in, the harder it is to take back your privacy. So I get it. Some things are sacred. Jessica Biel; Actress, Wife, Soon to be mother? BADASS. Did I mention I used to be obsessed with her movie Summer Catch?

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When I sat down and tried to think of all the beautiful women in Hollywood that I actually admire, these are the first few that popped into my head. Not only are they gorgeous physically, but they are gorgeous on the inside too. These women are mostly singers and actresses, but also have a mind for business. The singers share their melodic voices and the songwriters write the lyrics that pull on your heart strings or make you wanna shake yo booty. (tally on how many times I’ve used the word booty?) The actresses help you connect to characters and embrace storytelling. They are serious, they are lighthearted, they are strong, they can make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel through their art. They can make us feel like someone out there gets it, gets us. The media will try to put them on a pedestal and lift them up making you think their beauty is untouchable but you know better. They are like us, like me, like you. They are women, and we relate to each other for that simple fact. Women are funny, and funny is sexy. There was once a time when women were cast on the side lines of comedy. But now we have Melissa McCarthy and Tina Fey and many more. Sexy is quirky. These women can go from posing on a red carpet looking flawless to sticking their tongues out or blowing a kiss to the paparazzi.  Each of these women put out something into the world that paves the way for the next woman. Each of these women make me proud to be a woman. They carry themselves with poise and class, and they strive for their goals. They know when it’s the right time to show a little leg or a little cleavage and when it’s time to dress a little bit more conservatively. They know the difference between classy vs. trashy or sexy vs. slutty. They utilize their talents and voice, they share their gifts with us. They realize that as a celebrity they have a way of changing the world and making it a better place. They bring awareness to worldly issues. They believe in love and motherhood. “Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.” Sexy is beauty and brains, talent, heart. Sexy is you.

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So….What makes YOU sexy?

-<3-

*I take no credit for any images used*

Oprah’s Master Class with Justin Timberlake

**Pardon the abundance of Justin Timberlake/Michael Jackson posts as of late…this is quite the week for them…and I feel it is only natural I share my excitement. #fangirllife**

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Master Class Highlights…

Justin Timberlake’s advice on hard work, dedication and

becoming a “master” at your craft…

*Just say “Amen”

*Defeat isn’t failure

*It won’t be easy

*Give it a shot

*Remember this moment

*Step out on your own

*It’s about the song

*Sexyback

*Make ’em laugh

*Finish what you start

*Love

*Always be a beginner

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Key Quotes that stuck with me

“I learned what success and defeat meant and that they really didn’t matter.”

[on his experience on losing “Star Search” as a child.]

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“The most valuable piece of advice I ever got was from my mother, she said to me, I want you to know that you have a gift. None of us know where it came from, but you have a gift. And that gift is going to make your life more challenging in a way, because it’s going to test your character. She said, you know just because you have this thing that you do really well, that’s instinctive and natural to you, it doesn’t mean that you are better than anyone else. And to the point your gonna have to work harder to realize that.”

“We didn’t know anything about anything, but we knew we could sing together.”

[on the formation and great success of *NSYNC at such a young age.]

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“I remember looking at JC and saying “Remember this moment, because there’s a very good chance that nothing like this will ever happen again.””

[on shutting down Times Square while appearing on TRL for the release of

*NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached.”]

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“I was 19 going on 20, and I really felt like it was time for me to figure out who I was as an artist…to find my own voice. I would wake up every morning feeling more and more of an urge to step out on my own, to try my own hand as a musician.”

“It’s one of the best/worst things that I have ever done…it was bittersweet…it was hard to say goodbye to that era. But I felt it changing. I felt music changing and I felt myself changing.”

[on his decision to go solo.]

***I’m really happy that there was a decent segment on *NSYNC, I feel like I’ve been uncertain on the details of his departure for so many years, I’m glad we finally got some answers.***

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“I like being a beginner. I like looking at everyone and saying, I have no idea how to do this…let’s figure it out.”

“To be a master at something it takes a long time, at a high level and for me the way to do that is to always be a beginner.”

“Continue to do the thing maybe you think you cannot do, because you find out what you’re made of, you find out what material you’re made of.”

“Just because you get married, doesn’t mean you stop dating…that’s what keeps it exciting for me, I think.”

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“I had to convince people that it was my song, people didn’t even think it was me, they thought it was a joke.” [On Sexyback’s release.]

***I have to admit I was one of those people. When I first heard it, I thought there was something wrong with the track. I kind of hated it, and I remember being so upset because I was such a fan and I was so in love with Justified. “Sexyback” was like nothing I had ever heard, and I didn’t get it, but then it just grows on you. And I guess that was kind of the point. Hence, why it became (and still is) one of the most iconic Pop songs. No matter how many years go by, when that song starts playing at his concerts, people just lose their minds. It just gets in your veins, and I think he knew that. Trust your instincts people, trust them.***

“People kept telling me, “This will never work,” but I just kept saying “Just put the song out.””

[On choosing Sexyback as his first single off his sophomore album.]

“I knew that I was going to make a living off of the one thing everyone told me not to do.”

[On becoming a musician.]

“Loving what you do is extremely valuable.”

“If you’re not moving forward within it, your doing yourself a disservice.”

“You’re not meant to do what’s easy, you’re meant to challenge yourself.”

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“I think I pulled every “Thriller” move out that I could.”

[on auditioning for the Mickey Mouse Club.]

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Justin Timberlake drops a major song bomb on us *NSYNC fans as he admits the mega *NSYNC hit “Gone” was originally written for Michael.

Justin had thought the song had not been heard. But then got a call from the King himself asking for a duet, instead.

At that point *NSYNC had already cut the record as a part of their third studio album. Justin inquired about doing an *NSYNC ft. Michael Jackson, or Michael Jackson ft. *NSYNC track.

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“He was very absolute about the fact that he wanted it to be a duet between him and I.”

“I can’t…and… I’m literally punching myself…”

*****HaHaHaHa damn that must have been rough, it’s the freakin’ KING calling you asking for a duet on a track YOU wrote for HIM…damn I gotta say after all the shit I give him for always snubbing *NSYNC, I have to say that I was very proud of him for honoring them and keeping “Gone” an *NSYNC track…although if there is a MJ/JT “Gone” duet out there that can possibly resurface in the near future, I will need to be picked up off the floor. HOWEVER, I honestly can’t imagine that song being sung any other way. *NSYNC fan at heart, always.*****

Fast Forward to the year 2014…

“Love Never Felt So Good”– Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake…guess you both got your duet! (and so did the rest of the world…we’ve been waiting on such magic!)

“I think it’s the first idea that I ever got about doing something on my own. Because it was the first time I ever really felt the confidence to do it. I knew that the music that I was interested in and writing at the time was different than what we and previously done, and it felt like a real departure. I never told anybody that Michael Story.”

***I was kind of slapped in the face by this story, it was kind of bizarre to me. I was just like hold up wait, is this real, did you just make that up? It made me all kinds of happy, yet sad. In a nutshell I guess we can all blame Michael Jackson for the demise of *NSYNC. hahahhahahaha lmaoooo ;)***

***P.S. Cool side-note***

*Justified’s hit “Rocky Your Body” was originally written for Michael Jackson by The Neptunes, but when he passed on the track, it later became Timberlake’s 2003 hit single.*

Justin explains that growing up in Memphis, Tennessee they didn’t have concerts make their way to them often, and if they did he didn’t get to go because his family was on a budget.

“I never saw Michael Jackson perform live until I was on stage with him. I only saw videos of it…it wasn’t Michael Jackson, it was Michael Jackson’s songs. We had the radio. [I grew up admiring] the movies, tv shows, songs…the thing that was being made.”

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His relationship with his mom is so beautiful, I can’t even tell you how many times he mentioned her throughout that interview.

Justin first got his courage to sing in Church and the relaxed pressure free platform it created. Singing helped him to learn more about who he was as a person. Justin also goes on to explain how he never really felt like he ever fit one mold; with various interests in all walks of music, movies, and comedy Justin gives 115% to everything he does. And makes it look easy. Something he says is even harder to do, “to make it look easy is the hardest part.” In this documentary Justin gives key advice to becoming your own driving motivation and how to follow your dreams. Justin also explains how we should always be beginners, continue to learn our craft, try new things within our craft, and be thankful. That no matter what it is you do, things are going to be received in different ways, it shouldn’t change your ambitions or why you’re there, or why you were apart of the project in the first place. You’re not responsible for how other people receive whatever art you put out. Between the baby Justin flashbacks on Star Search and The Mickey Mouse Club , and all the old *NSYNC footage, and his savvy yet adorable story telling of his experiences with his musical heroes, I swear your heart is bound to melt. It was a joy to watch Justin in such a candid interview. There’s a good story about his performing with the Stones, that you really should tune in for!

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Justin Timberlake is slowly becoming a master at his craft, but has a lot more in him. And we will be singing his songs and watching his success for years to come. I swear the way my parents recall Michael Jackson, The Jackson 5, and Elvis to me, I can safely say I cannot wait to school my future kids on the greatest of “my time;” Justin Timberlake.

Catch Oprah’s Master Class On Demand

or HERE

**I do not take any credit for any images.**

-<3-