SEXY. It’s a term we all use. Thanks to Victoria’s Secret catalogs it’s a term we’re slapped in the face with…during the commercial breaks for our favorite tv shows. Often times used to describe someone’s physical appearance. You see someone walk by and they catch your attention and it’s like word vomit if you’re into cat calling and such (gag), for the rest of us it’s an inner thought encased in our own mind and possibly conversed to a friend walking beside us.

“He’s Sexy.” “She’s Sexy.”

But when you really think about it, what is sexy? What about that person, makes them sexy? Beyond that first glance.

I remember back in 2006 when Justin Timberlake released his very controversial yet highly praised and danced to; mega hit “SexyBack.” As the lyric states Justin claimed he was “bringing sexy back.” Because you know clearly it had left on vacation in the time span between his first and second solo albums. It did. Music is just sexier when Justin Timberlake’s on the charts. #Truestory.

Anyhow, moving on. I remember him doing the whole press round up during that time. Being interviewed time and time again, being asked the same questions over and over again. I wonder how they just don’t pull their hair out! Anyway, I can’t remember if he was on Ellen or Oprah or some other talk show and I’ve tried to find the clip continuously but have come up empty handed. But allow me to explain it for you. When asked what “SexyBack” was about and how he defined the word sexy, Justin simply stated;

“Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.”

And I have always remembered that quote because to me it was beautiful and profound on some level.

I think what he said is so true. Sexy is not defined solely by a person’s physical appearance. Sure it obviously contributes to your initial attraction. But that can all change once you get to know a person. Sexy is about how one carries themselves, it’s about personality. For me sexy is tied to class. Class is tied to confidence. Confidence is often rooted in the fashion you wear, in the profile you hold with the list of checks you embody on your life’s to do list. Confidence in one’s self is important but over confidence or cockiness is usually a turn off. You have to understand that no one is perfect, and you have to be willing to except opinions that may not coincide with your own. Everyone is different.

As a young woman I speak on behalf of us all, when our hair comes out right and our outfit is something we’re excited about, our nails are done and we (and by we I mean me) feel like actually taking the time to do our makeup, it’s an instant confidence booster. And it makes us feel good. The same way I’m sure guys feel untouchable when they put on a suit and tie or a tux. Ughhhh guys have it so easy….suit, tie, shoes, gel the hair, shave a little (or don’t…scruff is nice) and boom, done. But hidden secret; girls don’t dress for guys, we dress for other girls like us. I mean come on. Chances are your boyfriend doesn’t know a crop top from a regular top. He doesn’t get it, and it’s not his fault, it’s in the genes. So when I dress up I do it because I feel like doing it, and because it’s an instant conversation starter for me and my girls. Where’d you get your top? I love your lip-gloss. That’s basically what dinner with my friends sounds like.

Sexy is about what you wear, but it’s also about how you wear it. Sexy is about making them work for it. Sexy is about your laugh, your smile, the way you talk to people. Are you polite? Do you hold doors open? Do you pull out chairs? Are you respectful of your elders? Do you value a person’s opinion and thoughts? Are you a family person? Are you a good listener? What kind of music speaks to you? What dreams does your heart hold? Do you look past the exterior and take a deeper look? Sometimes when you do, you find the truth. Maybe it’s something that attracts you more, maybe it’s not. But that deeper look is important. Otherwise why are you wasting your time?

It’s easy to say sexy is defined by muscles, a six pack, cleavage, racy outfits, or arrogance. It’s easy to fall for someone because they have a cool car, or are able to buy you fancy things. But all of that changes perspective when you push pass the physical and materialistic items. Add class. Sexy is not without imperfections it’s about how you accept them and own them and make them work in you favor.

Sexy is about being who you are. And being ok with that. Sexy is about everything that makes up who you are. Your likes and dislikes, your quirky habits, your favorite television shows, whether you’re a wine or beer drinker. Or if you don’t drink at all.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Justin Timberlake fan. It’s no secret that I think he’s sexy. But granted, yea that includes his looks, but it’s more about the whole package. And no I am not referencing his “D in a B” skit. So get your minds out of the gutter. I am merely stating that his sexiness is tied to more. Like his class, his gentleman side, his talent, his voice, his ability to make people laugh, his personality. Fame is a tricky business. We only see what they want us to see. So until I meet him for myself let’s just say he seems like a real nice guy. I just think Sexy needs to be grounded in who are person truly is. Because that’s where their heart lies.

Classy ladies, who always get it right…

When I sat down and tried to think of all the beautiful women in Hollywood that I actually admire, these are the first few that popped into my head. Not only are they gorgeous physically, but they are gorgeous on the inside too. These women are mostly singers and actresses, but also have a mind for business. The singers share their melodic voices and the songwriters write the lyrics that pull on your heart strings or make you wanna shake yo booty. (tally on how many times I’ve used the word booty?) The actresses help you connect to characters and embrace storytelling. They are serious, they are lighthearted, they are strong, they can make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel through their art. They can make us feel like someone out there gets it, gets us. The media will try to put them on a pedestal and lift them up making you think their beauty is untouchable but you know better. They are like us, like me, like you. They are women, and we relate to each other for that simple fact. Women are funny, and funny is sexy. There was once a time when women were cast on the side lines of comedy. But now we have Melissa McCarthy and Tina Fey and many more. Sexy is quirky. These women can go from posing on a red carpet looking flawless to sticking their tongues out or blowing a kiss to the paparazzi.  Each of these women put out something into the world that paves the way for the next woman. Each of these women make me proud to be a woman. They carry themselves with poise and class, and they strive for their goals. They know when it’s the right time to show a little leg or a little cleavage and when it’s time to dress a little bit more conservatively. They know the difference between classy vs. trashy or sexy vs. slutty. They utilize their talents and voice, they share their gifts with us. They realize that as a celebrity they have a way of changing the world and making it a better place. They bring awareness to worldly issues. They believe in love and motherhood. “Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.” Sexy is beauty and brains, talent, heart. Sexy is you.

So….What makes YOU sexy?

-<3-

*I take no credit for any images used*