BLOGMAS -Day 11- The pressure the Holidays put on us

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Every year I say the same thing. I want to get ahead of the madness. I want to decorate early so that I can enjoy it longer, I want to find the perfect pair of pajamas, the perfect ugly sweater, the perfect dessert recipe. I want to shop for gifts earlier this year and not have to go around crazy rushing the last few days before. And every year I end up a stressed out mess. Some things I wanted to do- I didn’t, and things I didn’t want to happen- happened. 

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not my photo

 

Because in the mist of my already stressful daily life- throw in the holiday chaos and I’m a ball of nerves. 

I did a whole post on this topic last year, titled “Have the holidays become too stressful?” And it’s crazy that every word can still ring true for this year too. 

As I get older, I try to do gifts for everyone and all the kids, and along with being in two other weddings coming up, (one right after Christmas) my funds are kind of low and it’s been kind of tough to budget everything in. At the end of the day I wish I could just focus on the real meaning of this time of year. The birth of Christ. The celebration of love, friendship, and family. A memory of togetherness. You don’t have to put a price tag on any of that.

It’s hard not to let my cynical side out during this time. You see others decorating and buying gift after gift, everything just seems so easy for them. They know how  to get shit done. But I know how Facebook is deceiving. If I were to put a picture of my tree up, it would look all sparkly and pretty, sure. But it wouldn’t show me hounding my dad to bring up the tree from the basement, or me and my mom stringing beads on each branch with tired eyes. You don’t see the stress. But it’s there, for everyone.

There are two sides to me during this time of year- that girl who wants to be- festive af- that’s what all the kids are saying these days, right?- and that girl who gets overwhelmed from all angles and starts to feel run down and anxious. And the latter is just not the best feeling, especially when society tells you- you should be happy. 

Which brings me to my next point- it’s okay to not be ok, during the holidays. It’s ok to feel funky, to feel stressed- or going even further- to feel depressed or sad. For some people the holidays can be really hard. There are people who are grieving a loved one, or who just suffered a terrible heartbreak, or who may be suffering from an illness, or just feeling stressed from work, or some people who may not have jobs at all and are just struggling to make ends meet. Or there may be people who may just be going through something difficult, personally. At times, in life, sometimes when it rains it pours and it could be a combination of a bunch of things that could be hindering one’s Christmas spirit. The truth is, you never know what someone else is going through. 

So no, Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to decorate early, you don’t have to find the perfect gifts for everyone, you don’t have to stress what to wear, or what to bake. Do what you can do, with the means you have, and do it with love. And those who love you will understand you. If not, that’s unfortunate for them. Because yes Christmas is magical, but it’s just another day with the same people and no matter what as long as you are surrounded by the ones you love, celebrating the birthday of our creator, than what more could you really ask for? Materialistic items get shoved in drawers and closets, put in basements, under beds and forgotten about. So why do we put so much weight on it. 

I know it’s hard not to. I know it’s sometimes a comparing game. Well they got me this last year, and I only got them this, so this year I have to do better. Or- they got me 5 gifts, so I have to get them 5 gifts. Tit for tat on Christmas? No thanks. 😉

Every year I stress myself out and in the end- it all comes together. It always does. My last minute shopping forces me to make quicker decisions, my baking gets done, my decorations get put up. Whatever needs to get gone, will get done. Whatever doesn’t, won’t. It’s simple really. So why can’t we live more simplistically? It’s about prioritizing. Truth be told I’m not quite the best at doing so myself. But I’m trying to learn to be better at it. Here’s wishing we all learn to take a deeper look at Christmas for what it really is. A time to celebrate who really put us here. 

Deep breaths friends, we’ll get through this together!

 

Have you guys ever felt stressed during the holidays?

Tell me about it in the comments below!

-<3-

 

 

Video Update

There are often so many areas of life we feel we need to be good at all the time. And often times we struggle trying to make that happen. It’s impossible. You can do anything but not everything. You can be anything, but you can’t be everything, to everyone, all the time. If you try to, you will break.

As the summer comes to an end, the self-bashing comes for not doing half of the things I wanted to. Summer is kind of like New Year’s Eve in that way, don’t you think? We make so many promises to ourselves and then life happens.

I’ve been really thinking about my relationship with video and film making. And because of this, I’ve learned a few things. I wanted to get really real with myself about this topic.
To back track just a bit, I have a Bachelor of Arts degree. I studied Mass Communications with a concentration in Film and Broadcasting. The dream-the goal- to write for television. And yet when I look at all the video projects I’ve actually finished…the total number is not many. Many unfinished scripts/ideas for scripts collecting dust too!

Back in college, I had to do a few projects- one was a music video which I did for The Civil War’s Poison & Wine and the other was a concept video which was about throwing away stereotypes- it was very abstract and I titled it “Tearing Down The Label Makers.” It’s crazy because I feel like the message holds even more relevance today. Then I worked on my thesis which as you may know was a documentary about a day/or days in the life of my Grandmother who had been struggling with Alzheimer’s disease. I did two versions of that for two separate classes- one was the full version, and one was an abridged trailer version entitled Vai Com Deus.

“Poison & Wine” Video Shoot-

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“Tearing Down The Label Makers” Video Shoot-

Tearing Down the Label Makers

Neither the music video nor the concept video have been uploaded to YouTube, although considering these two were my very first video projects I am still very proud of how they came out and the messages behind them. I’m seriously considering sharing them. Providing the actors give their permission for me to do so, actually I’m pretty sure I had them all sign release forms!

During my college years I also attempted to shoot a script I wrote called Dumb Luck. A lot of time and production went into that but, it never got finished and the footage has been difficult to revive since my college computer died on me and I’ve gotten a new one. I am hoping to revive that and get that up, it’s super raw,  and you can definitely tell I was just starting out but the story is juicy. We only got to shoot the montage sequence. But a few years ago I shared the script, if you’d like to read that…click HERE.

“Dumb Luck” Prop Pictures

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“Vai Com Deus” process-

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Since I graduated I’ve done a few little side projects that are actually finished- I shot a yoga video for my cousin, a poetry video for MLW- to name a few and a couple of vlogs. The vlogs are less planned and less cinematic of course.

Yoga Video Shoot (Behind the Scenes) (this is not available to watch,  even though she was happy with the result-the video was for a school assignment and my cousin didn’t want it uploaded.)

“Secret” Society Video Shoot/Vlogs (Behind the Scenes)

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Then there are more video attempts- there are bits of footage shot for a zombie horror short that my brother and I had been working on. We even got as far as building a timeline of the clips in editing, but then…life. Life came in, things got busy, I got distracted and something else needed my attention.

“Inhumane” process- (Behind the Scenes)

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Its 4 years now since I graduated and it seems that every time I get close to the idea of shooting something- I may do well for a brief time but then cue the rut.

The other day I was going through some old paperwork and things, trying to organize my room and I came across some old scripts and video treatments/storyboards. Both were horror related. One was the zombie short titled Inhumane, the other titled Head Over Heels (which I think would be a bad ass Halloween upload). And when I see these scripts and how the planning process was beginning it makes me want to get back into video. But then I hit a wall and the reality sinks in. There’s just no realistic way. For the past-I want to say 2 years- I have been well involved/invested in the engagements, weddings, bridal/baby showers of many people that are very close to me. And I have had to really dedicate my time and my funds to them. When I think about doing something short/simple- I think how I don’t have the actors, or the equipment, to do so.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, my brother is a photographer and he has a lot of equipment that I’ve used in the past. But I’m very weird about using it, mostly because he’s very particular about it, lol. And I get nervous I’ll do something wrong! And so because of that I am very weird about asking him for help. I feel like it’s a burden, especially now that he is newly married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. Even though he has been hounding me to get back into shooting Inhumane, I know he simply doesn’t have the time, we don’t have the people, and quite honestly there are just so many other things I’d love to shoot instead. #HeadOverHeels #MysteriousAttractionTeaser

I also don’t have the best sound equipment or the best editing software either so it’s kind of like a million things weighing against me. I think about how people would perceive the work I put out. “Didn’t she go to school for film and video? This sucks!” That’s how I feel they would judge it. Along with all the other worries, I fear I may not be good enough at it.

I know this may seem like I’m complaining and I’m not. I don’t want pity. I understand that life is fast paced and ever changing. I love being asked to be part of special moments in people’s lives. People who mean the world to me. But sometimes when everything seems to happen all at once it can be very overwhelming. And we all know that I can get overwhelmed pretty easily and my anxiety definitely tends to spike a lot more when too much change is happening.

I just think that in life you often have to prioritize and these things in my life have been coming one after the other and they need special attention. I’m the type of person who really wants to show up for you on your special day/during your special time. My relationships with my family and friends are everything to me. And so I give 150% every time. (Or at least I really try too!)

With my bank accountant taking some serious hits over the past few years, lol-so has my time management skills. I can multi task…sure…just ask my computer- I can have 8 different tabs open at once and hit all of them. But I can’t say with absolute confidence that I can multi task well all the time. I just end up overwhelming myself and needing to narrow things down. Focus on one thing at a time. Rightfully so…no? I mean how much wedding/baby events/day to day responsibilities can one girl take at once? Ya know? It’s a lot. But thankfully, thank god it’s mostly beautiful, happy stuff, all deserving of celebration. I will always be grateful for that.

Needless to say I know there are ways around this funk I’ve created for myself. I know that fear of inadequacy, lack of funds and time are a huge part of why video has taken a back seat. But I want to try and make some solutions to these problems.

Dear Michelle,

ACTORS ask people I know/ research sites that can help find actors willing to participate for low funds or pizza! Haha. Asking people you know, can be difficult, it doesn’t always work out. My film and video professor used to always tell us to have a plan B because people aren’t always reliable and it can break your heart when a project falls through the cracks. This I know first hand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked family or friends to be apart of shorts and they cancelled on me because of work or life in general got in the way. It happens, I get it. But creatively, it’s heart breaking. Another thing to consider when filming is to keep the shorts abstract- quick cuts- simple images-

Avant Garde it- experimental film, experimental cinema- a mode of filmmaking that rigorously re-evaluates cinematic conventions and explores non-narrative forms and alternatives to traditional narratives or methods of working.

TIME make time- plain and simple. Plan it out, and stick to a schedule.

SPACE/LOCATION keep it local, go where you know- use people’s homes, lol.

FUNDS keep things simple/super low budget- use house hold items.

EQUIPMENT use equipment you have, or ask to borrow equipment in advance.

EDITING SOFTWARE use what you have and make it work.

FEAR“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.” -A Cinderella Story. Your never going to not be fearful of new challenges. You just have to decide how bad you want it, and be brave enough to just do it, to hell with what people think! 

When you’re just starting out, or easing back into something Don’t Expect Perfection! If things are a little janky, it’s ok, it’s better to shoot footage than not try at all. And Vlogs do count. I’ve noticed I like vlogging when I have some cool things to do, I just have to get better at the editing turn around. Mini Vlogmas is still only partially edited. :/ As is the Gender Reveal Party Vlog for my brother and sister in law and a Family Trip Vlog to Great Wolf Lodge we took last Summer. I also shot a bunch of footage of a Polar Express Trip and my best friend’s engagement night. Really got to get back to editing!!!!

*Current Update– Since I last scheduled this post (which was a while ago back in the Summer when I was what I like to call bulk blogging) I have edited my butt off and have finished editing Vlogmas, The Gender Reveal, The Great Wolf Lodge Trip and The Engagement. I however am torn as to whether or not I should post them on YouTube/link them on this blog. I know have alluded to the fact that I would post them, I’ve mentioned it in many blog posts [including the Vlogmas announcement], however I am not the only person in them and I don’t know if others would appreciate their images being out on the internet. I know- why announce Vlogmas, take forever to edit them, and then never post them. The truth is I did do a small Vlogmas, and I did edit them, but I don’t feel 100% comfortable sharing videos of my family. I may just keep them as home movies for me, and my friends and family. But I am excited that I got so many of them done. That’s a win for me!

When things start to settle down on the wedding/baby front, I will start to save up for some new equipment. In the mean time, I just have to do it. Pick up the camera I do have and shoot something. Stop worrying about how crappy it might turn out and just dive in. I know I’ll feel better once I do. And the excitement and natural high of doing something I love will come back. I just need to do and stop second guessing, stop making excuses and just use the time I do have for myself wisely.

The reason for this long winded post is because I needed it. Sometimes you need to reflect on all the ways you let life pass you by in order to make you realize that you need to try a little harder to make your dreams come true. Be a bulldozer – and plow through the writer’s block, through the lack of inspiration, through the Summer Blues, through the funk that I’ve been in, and just go for it!

So here’s hoping to change my mind set! Wish me luck. No Scratch that- Wish me determination!

 

*All images and videos are my own.*

-<3-

 

Scatter Brain

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I recently have been feeling like I have a lot of things going on and I’m getting overwhelmed.

I know what else is new? Right? 

But I’m stuck.

It’s that time of year where it’s getting hotter. I work closely with the school system, so it’s nearing summer break and all the kids are starting to lag and slow down and I feel by some extension that I am too.

There is this improvement list I keep thinking about.

Things I want to do and be better at, for myself-my career, my health, for my students, for my family, for my friends…

I teach 5 different creative activities and although it was my choice, I feel like I’m not doing as well as I hoped. I always have this vision and then it gets crazy and scattered and I end up scrambling in the last weeks.

And yet I am still also needed in a lot of other areas in my life- I’m in three more weddings- two of which I am maid of honor for, I’m going to be a Titi (An Aunt) in the fall I’m going to have a niece! And I’m planning for family occasions that keep popping up…the list always has something new added.

So I feel like I’m trying to be everything to everyone and still tryin to have some sort of social life and make time for myself. 

My relationships in my life with family and friends are everything to me.

And I want to show up for everyone… for everything.

And lately, I just feel kind of all over the place, and pulled in many directions.

I feel like I’m dropping the ball, and I don’t know what to do.

To the point where I just want to throw myself on my bed and sleep to forget it all.

I’ve been going and going since what feels like forever, and I’m still going.

I don’t know how to get over this bump in the road.

There is so much I want to do for myself, and I feel like my career has been put on hold for so long, and I know that it is my fault.

But I’ve made strides to better my situation in the past and I feel like now I’m just stuck and safe.

I get worried that my dream of being a writer will never happen for me.

I know I have to push myself, and when I lack motivation, I need to learn to push past it.

But it’s difficult. For sure.

I don’t know where to start.

How to change.

I’m always buying, and doing for something else, that it’s easy for me to forget or slack on going after what I really want for myself.

I need to learn how to prioritize.

I need to learn how to use my time wisely.

I need to plan accordingly and not let myself get stuck in my comfort zone.

I need to realize that the change is within me, and no one else.

I can’t keep saying I’m stressed and overwhelmed and then just shut down.

Because what good is that then?

I can’t just keep going through the everyday routine without any progress or change.

But I don’t know how to do that.

And this is not a “feel bad for me” post, this is literally my way of trying to sort this mess out.

I know I will, I’ve done so in the past.

One day things just clicked and did what I had to do even though it was scary…even though it was hard.

So I’m hoping I get my click into place day soon.

Thanks for letting me vent, friends.

And if you can relate, tell me in the comments how you push past that feeling stuck feeling!

XO

Michelle

 

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

A little bit of everything…

Hi friends,

I have to admit there’s a lack of inspiration for me right now. Maybe it’s exhaustion, maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s laziness, or stress. I don’t know. But I’m in a funk and I just need to work through it. It’ll pass, I know it will. It always does.

But in the mean time, I don’t want to slack on this blog either so…let’s chat.

I’ve been thinking about where my life is going, lately. A lot of reflection is creeping in, and not exactly warranted. I say that because I’d kind of rather not go there. Because I know along with that reflection will come some harsh realities. Things I need to be working harder on. The list is long. And I have a tendency to really overthink and get myself all anxious which is of no use, because then I tend to retreat and shut down, getting nothing done.

When I think back to how hopeful the new year seemed, and where I am now, it seems like too different worlds. But I think that’s kind of how it always is. I make these big grand lists of things I want to change or do or accomplish and then I lose track and momentum and end up falling into old habits. I know we all do it, but I just wish I could avoid getting into these slumps. They suck.

Granted I think I have made some progress in personal growth this year so far, but I still think there are a lot of things I could be doing to feel even better about my life and where I’m heading.

I just turned 26 and so naturally, I’m thinking about my future and what I want for myself. I want to be a writer for television and film. And yet I’m still in a part-time job, it’s writing and film related but not a career for me. I want to get married and have children and start a family some day, and yet I’m still single and living home. It’s difficult when you start to look at your family and friends around you and suddenly feel like you missed something. Did I miss the course in life planning? Because I feel so far behind. It’s so easy for me to compare myself to them. So many people around me are getting engaged, married, pregnant. And here I am, doing the same ole same.

I don’t want this to sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself. If anything I feel like I’m kicking myself for not being more of a risk taker. I don’t hate my life. I don’t hate my job. (I actually really enjoy it!) I don’t hate being single. But I just know there’s more I want out of life. But where I am, is safe and comfortable. I’m content. But I’m not. Does that make any sense?

It’s like I reflect and feel like I’m missing so much. I’m not going for it. But then I look at where I’ve come from a few years ago, and I feel like I’ve tackled a lot of my anxiety. But now there are new challenges I must tackle, in order to allow myself to step into the next chapter of my life. And I think that’s realizing that I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and start accepting change. I’ve spoken about my fear of change HERE on this blog.

I was in church a few weeks ago, and I remember the priest giving his sermon and saying how God does not work on time. We work on time. But God doesn’t. So if we are asking for something and we want it to happen right now and it doesn’t, that does not mean it won’t. It just means that God knows it’s not the right “time,” and therefore maybe your not ready yet.

So I think I’m going to keep that little tidbit in my back pocket, for when I start to stress out about the future. And I hope if you can relate to this stress and fear of change that you hold onto this little fact too. Things will happen when they are supposed to. I know there are so many uncertainties; career, relationships, etc. But I have to just trust that God’s got me. He knows what’s in my heart and what it wants and when the “time” is right all will fall into place. I just need to do some rearranging and prioritizing on my end. Wish me luck! 😉

To my fellow 20 somethings, Don’t Stop Believing!

xo

Michelle Leigh

 

-<3-

 

A Rant & A Poem- Something About Stress

I’m going to vent, because well- I need to. I’ve recently been really stressed out and I saw a décor sign while I was shopping that just fit my situation perfectly.

“You can do anything, but not everything.”

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Holy freaking shit. Excuse the language. But how true is that?

I really wish sometimes that I wasn’t such an anxious, neurotic person. I wish I could just be Zen and chill, and go with the flow. I wish I didn’t have to plan and over think. I wish I didn’t have to constantly feel like a fixer. Oh this looks wrong, let me fix it.

Note to self: Hey Michelle, this actually doesn’t concern you- butt out!

But I am who I am. I do believe people can change, but only so much. Certain lessons and learned habits are just ingrained in our brains. And others are tattooed along the way. I’ve been trying to realize that the fact that I care so much, doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I’m an empathetic person and being able to see things from both sides, is a great quality. It’s a human quality. But sometimes having to always see things from other people’s perspectives can really be exhausting. Because quite frankly, I don’t always feel like people give me the same courtesy. But then my soul kicks me in the ass, and I think about what God would do and what he would say. I have a feeling it would go a little like the “Oh so just because they do this, you think its ok for you to do this?” And the truth is no, it’s not ok. But sometimes you just do it anyway. Because you need to. Because your fed up, because you’ve had enough. Because the others shouldn’t be able to get away with it- All. The. Time. Sometimes the tit for tat feeling, feels good. A lot of the times it feels good for a second and then it feels really shitty. I hate it. I like to be liked. I like to make people happy. I hate confrontation. I hate awkward situations and tension. I try to avoid it because it will just add to my anxiety and cause people to see me in a negative light. A light I try so hard to stay far away from. Because let’s be honest, we all care what people think. Some of us more than others. #Guilty. Tit for tat is not my style. I know who I am, and even though sometimes I lose that every now and then, I always find my way back home. The way to my true heart.

Now that I’ve vented and ranted, here’s a poem. 😉   

 

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I’ve been walking into my church at random times lately, and the stillness and silence is beautiful and calming. It’s a great way to just find your focus and recharge and remember where you came from.

 

Like a tea kettle just before it begins to whistle.

Like nails on a chalk board.

Like a child’s face before they throw themselves into a tantrum.

Like a doormat who has had countless pairs of shoes wiped across it.

Like quicksand.

Like ocean waves- 10 feet high.

Like the tears we cry when we lose our minds.

Like the worst body tension you could ever imagine.

Like a gas bubble that traps itself in your chest.

Like the anxiety you feel in a crowded elevator.

Like the eggshells that break even with the slightest breath.

The want to be everything to everyone.

It’s a failure before it even starts.

Because how much can you give of yourself?

Who is that selfless? Can we be that selfless?

Who is that void of anxiety?

How do we leave sanity for ourselves?

Can I scream into the wind?

Or cry into a pillow?

Can I lift this weight?

Can I cast it up into the air and watch it turn into fairy dust and glitter?

Gold flecks. Everywhere.

Butterflies dancing in my hair.

Can I center my soul?

Breathe deep.

Walk through the broad, merciful, gold doors.

Sit silently still.

Find him, find where he lives in you.

He’s got you. He knows you. He’s with you.

Know your heart.

Know your person.

Act on it.

You got it kid.

Amen.

-<3-

 

“Ughhhhh” – A Monologue

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Do you ever just feel like screaming the words “Fuck you” at the stop of your lungs? No filter. No editing. Bare. Vulnerable. Loud. This life is so unnecessarily stressful, we are pulled every which way. Anxiety a burden. Minds racing to far past our feet. The high road is easier spoken then taken. When hearts become doormats for jealous shoes. When you are asked to simply just deal. And understand. The bigger people get shit on, always. And somehow the world has let that be ok. No… you’re stressing me out. Avoid the stress. When we learn to be adults then maybe this is something we can talk about. Silly things, childish fears. I’d rather not shed you the tears. I am who I am .I do what I do. I have the biggest heart, and it will always shine through. Try to shade me and it won’t work. Your façade is crumbling I see it in the dirt. I walk past and leave a trail of glitter. Because I have no time to spend on the hurt. The pain the sadness the taunting  you’ve created. This experience is now jaded. And now faded I feel. So I will walk away and hope that your heart heals. At the end of the day we can only be responsible for our own actions and whether or not we are adult enough to own them. 

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

Have the holidays become too stressful?

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The holiday season is in full gear. As we have already passed Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Christmas is just around the corner. And I have to say that I’m still slightly in disbelief at how quickly its come, yet again.

As I get older, I’ve realized something. Time speeds by, each year it gets quicker and quicker. Everything becomes stressful and timed, and we make it more commercial then spiritual and magical like it should be.

I remember when I was a kid, I used to get so excited when Christmas was near. It was my favorite time of year. I remember decorating the tree with my family and playing Christmas songs as early as October, sometimes even in the summer time because I was just so infatuated.

Now it seems as though no one has time for anything anymore. No time to decorate, or shop, or be festive. Everything is like warp speed and before we even get to Thanksgiving they are already shoving Christmas down our throats. Stores commercialize everything and call it Christmas spirit. Would you let me catch my breath, you’re suffocating me. And sadly that notion has caused me to grin and bear the holidays, because well I’m just not ready for them, and they don’t allow each holiday it’s time to be enjoyed.

I miss the beauty in the holiday season. I miss the excitement and the happiness. I’ve definitely lost that over the past few years, I wanna say as far back as college. First it was school stress, reports and projects and papers due right before Christmas, and now it’s well… life. Work, Internships, everyday life. Trying to balance being festive with your daily duties can be a recipe for disaster, because truly there are not enough hours in a day.

There is so much pressure put on the holidays. Pressure to pick out the perfect gifts, pressure to travel to visit family, pressure to decorate and create a festive wonderland, pressure to cram all your holiday cheer into your already stressful life. A time that is supposed to be simply about love, faith, and family, is burdened by stress.

And if you’re like me and have high expectations, you get disappointed when you feel like your holiday was a sham. Or not as magical as you hoped it would be. I hate when the holiday doesn’t feel like a holiday. Take Thanksgiving, I love Thanksgiving. Since I feel Christmas has become bigger than all of us, Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday. But this year was kind of hectic and stressful and I felt like I didn’t enjoy it as much as last year. Sure I saw my family, and we ate a bunch of delicious food, and it was nice.  I just felt rushed all day. Between helping to get food prepared the night before, and then baking til 2 in the morning, I was exhausted the morning of Thanksgiving. Then we did double rounds to visit both sides of my family and that always takes a toll even though you get to see more people, you feel like you’re on a clock all day. That feeling of rushing immediately peaks my anxiety level and stresses me out, messing with the festivity of the holiday and what it’s really about.

At the end of the day, it’s a day that goes by just like every other. I see family and eat great food, and make memories. And it’s another holiday under the belt. But I have become saddened by the lack of enthusiasm I have for the holidays for the past years. And the people around me have spoken of similar attitudes and feelings. Everyone is so tired and stressed on a regular basis that add in the holidays and all the extra work you have to do, and it’s like complete chaos.

This world is too fast paced. Everything is rushed. Nothing is treasured. This is why the new generation has such a hard time living in the moment, myself included.

It’s a little late for Halloween and Thanksgiving, but I’d like to restore the Christmas spirit at least in my house. I want to slow things down and enjoy the festive feelings around me. I want to enjoy Christmas music, and Christmas movies. I want to decorate as a family, without having to wait forever for all of us to get on the same page. I want shopping to be easy and not so materialistic. When I was a kid, I was taught you get what you get and you’re grateful. Kids these days have so much to choose from that they barely know what to ask for. And their more expectant of materialistic items. It’s certainly a different generation, then I grew up in.

I want to visit the Christmas lights in the neighborhood, drink hot chocolate, and festive flavored teas and coffees, visit the tree in Rockefeller center.  And every year I say these things and, I’m lucky if I get to do one or two things. Time becomes no one’s friend.

This Christmas I want things to change. Here’s hoping I can pull a Hallmark Movie and lessen up the Grinch factor in my life.

So…do you find the holiday stress gets in the way of celebrating?

 

-<3-

*I do not take credit for the image used.*