Ok so this one is for all my single girls out there, who most likely have to dish out relationship “Advice” to more than half her friends, while she herself isn’t in a relationship. But I promise you, it IS doable (Go figure!)
Good old fashioned GIRL TALK….let’s get to it!
TIP #1: LISTEN
We all know that girls come to their girls to bitch….to bitch about what it is their boyfriends are doing wrong….or to swoon over what they’re doing right. So whichever it is…Listen to them and give them your undivided attention, no one likes to be ignored.
TIPS #2, & #3: REMAIN OBJECTIVE/ USE LOGIC
I think it’s safe to say that as girls we tend to over analyze things, we take things and run. And sooner or later that one sentence a guy says turns into 40 different scenarios in your head. When all he really meant when he said “You look nice” was, “You look nice.” So in order to avoid running circles around yourself and trying to dissect the inner makings of the male mind, I think it’s important for you (as the friend) to remain objective. Try and see the situation from both sides; see if from your girl’s side, but also try and see where the guy’s coming from. Because chances are your girl isn’t really thinking logically. It’s your job to reign her in and tell her to take a water break. Granted, your always gonna have your girl’s back, but it’s important to remain objective for her so that she can get her crazy out and then come back to earth with a clear head. This brings me to the idea of using Logic. Once you remain objective and try to see all angles, it’s easy to apply logic to whatever situation. Often times the reasons for disagreements between couples is due to miscommunication and or lack of compromise. So as an objective friend it may be easier for you to see the hidden compromise your friend and her guy have completely neglected to see, or help them to figure out why they aren’t willing to compromise in the first place.
TIP #4: BE HONEST
All my conversations with my girls have helped me to learn that THIS tip is a big factor when trying to give advice to a friend about their relationship. They want you to be honest. They come to you to talk and to get out all their frustration, but they also come to you in way to gain a pathway to a solution of sorts. Granted the decision is always theirs….never tell a friend what they should or shouldn’t do. Suggest it sure, but they have to make their own decisions, they are their own person. And when I say be honest, I don’t mean bash their relationships, or their boyfriends. There should be no negativity, there should only be friendly honesty. Which is basically you helping your friend to see what the root of the problem may be. Sometimes it’s easier to just cushion your friend and tell her what she wants to hear, out of fear that she may get mad at you, or that you may hurt her feelings. But the truth is if they came to you, then they ultimately trust you, and your judgement. So give them honesty, help them to see that maybe in this specific case they’re boyfriend may have a point. Or if you think he’s being a complete douche, well then tell her so (still in the nicest way possible ha ha)…Hey us girls gotta stick together!
TIP #5 DRAW FROM EXPERIENCE
This one can be tricky…considering that everyone’s relationship catalog is different. And so no matter how simple or extensive your past experiences/relationships may be…use whatever you learned from them to help your friend. Because guys probably all have relatively similar track records. Most likely you have an [that guy turned out to be an] asshole story your girl can relate to, so share it….trade notes! 😉
TIP #6 LISTEN (Did I mention this????)
Quick story….a few days ago I was out to dinner with a really good friend of mine, we were just catching up and talking our usual shit, and all of a sudden she goes “You’re a really good friend, you listen to all my shit.” I laughed and basically replied dido. I may not have relationship drama at the moment, but I think “job hunting” drama is my equivalent to boyfriend drama, right now. The key to being a good friend is listening and just being there for your girl when she needs you. It’s not really so much about giving them advice as it is letting them vent. So if all fails, just be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and then if that doesn’t work hit up that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(a friend in need…that’s as special as an occasion gets!)
Forge forward ladies….Men; they’re not all bad…so I’ve been told…
Damn you romantic comedies! I blame you! 😉
*I do not take credit for any of the above images*
Happy St. Patrick’s Day shout out to my fellow irish folks,
I’m 1/4 irish but damn proud of it!
Enjoy that corned beef and cabbage (and irish soda bread)!