Love Conflicted- Chapter 5

Previously on Love Conflicted…LC poster

Read Part 4 HERE

Maggie’s apartment is a little brighter somehow. Maybe it’s because the shades are finally open or maybe it’s the presence of a friend to hold her hand during this heartbreaking time. Lily sits aside her on the couch.talking

Maggie: I don’t know Lil, something in me just can’t comprehend this. I feel like it’s not real. Half the time I can’t even get out of bed, and when I do well this is what I look like. It’s indescribable, how bad this hurts.

Lily knowingly nods and takes her friend’s hand.

Lily: Why don’t we take a walk? I’ll buy you lunch. The fresh air and carbs will do you good.

Maggie:(shrugging) Ok. Yea.

Lily: Yea?

Maggie: I’ve been living off of cereal. So…

Lily: Well then I think it’s time we change that, huh? Come on. I got ya.

Lily pulls Maggie into a side hug and leads her toward the door.walking

Maggie and Lily walk down the street toward a little coffee house. Its mid-day approaching night fall. People are walking about; busy and having places to go and people to see. Maggie hasn’t seen outdoors let alone any actual sunlight in a week. Her mind is still housing an out of body foggy feeling. But she can’t deny that it did feel good to be out. Maggie breathes in the fresh air, as her heart beats a little steadier having a friend in this.

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Lily ushers her into the coffee house, but as she does something wills her to take a scan of her surroundings. She notices a few parked cars, all vacant except one. She thinks for a brief second that it’s odd but then returns her attention to Maggie as they walk into the coffee house.

Coffee houseLily and Maggie are seated. And have ordered some Paninis and coffee.

Maggie looks around her eyes adjusting to the world again.

“Could she even do something like that, adjust to a world that Ricky is no longer a part of?”  She thinks, as she sips her coffee.

Maggie: You know even so, even after I got that call, I still felt…I feel  like he’s somehow still out there, and I know that sounds crazy but-

Lily: I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. In fact maybe he is. I mean you guys always had a really intense connection. You could always tell what was going on with him. Besides who is this Ian person anyway, who’s to say he’s telling the truth. Maybe there’s more to the story.

Maggie: Oh I know for a fact that there’s more to the story. He just can’t…or won’t tell me it. But please god let’s not go there. Please don’t put false hope in my head. I can’t lose him a second time.

Lily: Ok, ok. I know. I’m sorry. I’m just saying if you feel something, maybe there’s a reason. What does your heart tell you?

Maggie: (tearing up) That Ricky and I were nowhere near done. He’s the love of my life. (She shrugs) The time we spent apart, me trying to fight it, it was all useless. It was a waste of time, time I could have spent with him.

Lily takes her friend’s hand from across the table, and she smiles showcasing her true empathy.

Lily: I’m so so sorry that you’re going through all of this. I wish I could change it for you.

Maggie: You know I kept thinking why was I so calm about waiting to find out if I was really pregnant. I just kept putting it off. And you know not knowing is not my thing.

Lily: Yea, you’re not exactly a fly by your seat kind of girl. (She takes a sip of her coffee)

Maggie:(shaking her head) No, not at all. But the more I kept putting it off, the more I began to realize that it wasn’t because I was scared of it being positive…or scared of choosing to be with him, quite frankly my heart already chose him for me…I love him. I was scared that it wouldn’t be positive. And it wasn’t. I would have been ok with it being positive…I would have been more than ok with having a baby with him. I wanted that life…and not just in general… but with him. I always have. And now I’m never going to get to have that. And I wish I was pregnant, now more than ever, because then at least I’d have a piece of him with me forever. And maybe that sounds selfish but-

Lily: It doesn’t.

Maggie: I just- I can’t-

Lily moves over to the other side and hugs her friend tighter.

Maggie: (crying harder, and wiping her tears from her cheeks) I just keep thinking, did he know…I mean did he really know how much I love him?

Lily: He knew. Anyone who got the rare chance to catch a glimpse of your relationship, could tell. Trust me, he knew. And he loved you just the same.

The-Vampire-Diaries-3x14-Dangerous-Liaisons-HD-Screencaps-caroline-forbes-28981119-1280-720[1]Through the coffee house window, sits a man in a parked car, watching way more intently than any normal bystander should. The same car and man from before. He looks like he’s on a mission and upon comforting Maggie in her time of need, Lily takes notice. The man looks away.

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Lily: Hey, why don’t I take you back home, ok? It’s getting late, you should rest.

Maggie: Yea I think I’ve had enough of the world for today. (She laughs with little amusement)

Lily leaves money on the table and ushers her friend out. As they leave Lily notices the car and the man inside are gone. She drapes her arm over Maggie’s shoulder and walks her home.

side hug

Lily is returning from dropping Maggie off at home and notices the same car from the coffee house is parked this time right across from Maggie’s building, adjacent to her apartment window.

Inside the car sits a man, talking on a cell phone, the conversation seems rather heated.

“She’s not alone, her friend came over…a blonde. No she’s not okay. No, she’s a mess. What do you expect? Whatever…look-”

Lily stops and stares at the car. She couldn’t hear what the man was saying but she had a feeling he’d been watching her and Maggie. And Lily was not about to let that slide.car cleavage

Lily walks over to the car and knocks hard on the window. The man gets startled and hangs up his phone quickly.

He rolls his window down, peering up at Lily.

“Can I help you?” He says.

Lily leans down, and comes face to face with a handsome, blue eyed man. Lily smiles brightly, her cleavage just enough to divert the man’s attention for a second.

normal_Revenge416-2456[1]Lily: (noticing) Eyes up here buddy.

The man slightly embarrassed, mentally kicking himself for being so obvious locks eyes with hers.

(Laughs) “Can I help you?” He repeats.

car window

Lily: Yea, you can…why the hell are you following my friend?

The man looks shocked at her clever eye.

Lily: Because I have to tell you if you’re supposed to be discreet, you’re doing a really shitty job. I spotted you from the minute I came over to visit her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lily: (glares at him) You’re never going to get rid of me with that lie.

“Look I can’t say anything-I’m just doing my job. There are serious things going on. I’m just trying to keep your friend safe.”

Lily: You’re Ian…aren’t you?

The man looks at her, unsure of what to say.

tumblr_n1vi73F5d11rjqfn9o8_500[1]Lily: (smiles flirtatiously) Your silence speaks volumes.

Even when she’s being bossy, Lily had this way of being sexy. The man remains tightlipped, which only frustrates Lily more. She huffs, opens the car door and gets in the passenger seat. The man looks at her in even more shock than when she first called him out.

car talk 2Lily: Let’s pretend I actually believe you. If you are this Ian person, that means you know what actually happened to Ricky. And in all honesty just the fact that little old me was enough to rattle your cage and throw you off your game, speaks for itself. If you ask me, I think there’s more to this story.

“With all due respect but I didn’t ask you,” He says.

Lily: (smiles) Minor Detail. (She shrugs) If you think I’m going to let you off the hook, without sharing, you are seriously mistaken handsome. But don’t worry I know how to keep a secret.

He looks at her…dumbfounded…yet again. This girl has some guts. I could be a psycho, He thinks.

Ian: (sighs heavily) My name is Ian. I work with Ricky. And I really am just trying to keep an eye on Maggie. There are a lot of unresolved things going on right now, and while you’re sitting here distracting me, she could be in danger.

Lily: (narrows her gaze) Fine, get back to work then. Maybe be a little more stealth about it, huh? Don’t need you drawing any extra attention, to an already delicate situation. But remember I’m onto you. And if you think I’m leaving Maggie alone tonight, you’ve got another thing coming. I don’t trust you for shit.

Ian: I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re smart not to.

Lily steps out of the car and turns to walk away, but stops.

Lily: (bends down to peer through the window again) Do you work or did you work with Ricky? Because you said and I quote “I work with Ricky,” as in present tense.

Ian: An oversight. I guess it’s been hard adapting. I’m sure your friend Maggie has made mistakes like that over the past week.

Lily: Hmmm? Interesting. Men in the CIA are always so keen, so on their game, their attention to detail can be astounding.

Ian is shocked at her knowledge. Lily was the only friend who knew about Ricky’s secret life. Lily was also the only one who got to truly witness how in love Ricky and Maggie really were. The rest of the world thought they were just casual acquaintances. It took work, but they both gave it their all, because they knew it was worth it, just to be together.

Ian: Can being the operative word. Loss will affect anybody, anytime, anywhere.

Lily: Maybe.

normal_Revenge416-2431[1]Ian: Besides, information like that in the wrong hands (he shrugs, looking her over) can be dangerous. You know a little too much, bright eyes.

Lily: Are you threatening me? Or flirting with me?

Ian: Neither. Or maybe both. Or maybe just the latter. (He smirks) I’ll leave it up to your interpretation. But don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on you too, just in case.

Lily: (laughs sarcastically) Oh I bet you will. But I’d rather take my chances defending myself, you’retumblr_inline_mw9wffWYW51qfmnua[1] not exactly doing the best job. And in case you haven’t noticed I can handle myself pretty well.

Ian: Oh I’ve noticed. I guess I just wasn’t trained to deal with beautiful distractions.

Lily: Hmm, I guess not. Word of advice never underestimate the best friend, she’s always the one you need to get through first.

Ian: (smirking) I wouldn’t think of it.

Lily walks away back toward Maggie’s apartment and Ian’s eyes wander after her. His phone rings.

Ian: Hello?…Yea we may have a problem. I just met the blonde, she’s feisty that’s for sure….and did I mention that I can’t believe you’re making me do this…

tumblr_ne2ikuxL1a1tjodfqo1_500[1]In a darkened motel somewhere unnoticeable, sits a shadowy figure in a chair. A hand reaches for a nearby lamp, turning it on, Ricky’s face comes into view.

tumblr_mwq04o7S6O1qax2xho1_250[1]Ricky: I see you’ve met Lily. She’s a good friend. Don’t worry about her. Just a little while longer, and it’ll all be over…but until then, keep my girl safe. I’m trusting you. She means everything to me. (he says looking at a picture of he and Maggie from his wallet.)

tumblr_nk78h6LEta1tkuq2lo1_500[1] micky pic 3

To be continued…

 Did you think I’d actually leave you hanging?

Of course Ricky’s ALIVE!

#MaggieIsGonnaFreak

#WhoDigsLily

#ShesSassy

#IanThinksSoToo

#SpoilerAlert? 😉

Did you enjoy meeting Ian?

Nick Wechsler is my #dreamcast

Nick Wechsler is my #dreamcast “Ian”

lily and ian

Ian & Lily

***QUICK AUTHOR’S NOTE***

For those keeping up with Love Conflicted, I just want to quickly clue you in on my plans for posting the duration of the story. In order to preserve the momentum and give you the best story I can give you, I’m going to take a break from posting for this story. I post as I write (it works for me) and it’s just kind of coming out of me and flowing, but I don’t want the next few parts to be forced or rushed. I’m not quite sure how I want things to go from here. So I’m gonna take some time to finish it and then I will post accordingly. Thanks so much for reading! I will have some other fun stuff for you guys to read in the meantime. And please feel free to tell me what you think in the comments below, or follow me on twitter and let’s chat there! Tell me, tell me all the things 😉 Keep writing and keep feeling all the feels you lovely humans!

Twitter: @shellbelle91

 ** I do not take credit for any gifs, or any images used in my edits or otherwise. **

-<3-

 

Love Conflicted-Chapter 4

Previously on Love Conflicted…

Read Part 3 HERELC poster

candice-lily

The apartment is dark. To the naked eye, you cannot be sure what time of day it really is. The curtains are drawn. The lights are off. There is a silence unlike any other. Oddly enough the only sound that can be heard is the ticking of her wall clock in the kitchen, and the beeping of the landline signally she has a voice message.

Maggie lays on her bed staring up at the ceiling fan spinning slowly above her.

Losing herself in time as it ticks by; minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day.

It’s been a week since she heard the news about Ricky and digesting that reality still hasn’t happened for her. She feels it never will.

Riddling her mind with what if’s and happy memories. Last moments and conversations.

“What was the last thing I ever said to him?” She thinks.

Maggie sits up. She makes her way, begrudgingly into the kitchen. Her movements are sluggish at best, and she seems to be in a fog. The only literal comparison to such behavior would be the acts of a zombie.

The kitchen comes into view, as Maggie finally reaches into her fridge and sets to eating her first meal in days.

It’s as if in all the heartbreak, she’s withdrawn from life.

Maggie’s house phone begins to ring….and ring…and ring.

She pays no mind to it as she continues to eat her bowl of cereal. The only thing she could muster up “making.”

Her voice mail cuts into the silence.

“Hi it’s Maggie, leave me a message, if you want, or if you don’t, that’s cool too, bye.”

*Beep*

“Hi Mags, it’s Lily again. I haven’t heard from you for quite a bit and you’re not one to disappear on us. The boss has been asking why you haven’t been to work. I assume you’re sick or something. That stomach flu thing has been going around. Anyway I’m worried about you, please just give me a call back.”

Maggie’s job and her friends have been leaving countless messages, wondering where she’s been.

Maggie finishes up her cereal and throws her bowl in the sink, she then slinks back to her bed. And curls up into a ball, drowning herself in her comforter, much like the drowning her heart feels since losing Ricky so suddenly.

Maggie’s cellphone buzzes for the millionth time, it seems. She glances over to it, as it sits on her bedside table.

Maggie reaches for it and goes to her picture gallery, instinctually.

As she scrolls through her pictures, memories of Ricky overpower her. But she doesn’t care; she needed to see him, see them together. She needed to feel close to him.

maggie and ricky pic

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bed micky

She tears up and then comes across a video. She hits play.

camera vid

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Ricky comes into Maggie’s living room, shirtless, and holding a cup of coffee.

Maggie: Sleeping beauty is finally up! Good morning my love.maggie bed

It’s evident that Ricky feels at home there, with Maggie.

It’s evident that their relationship was a very serious one.

Ricky: What are you doing? Are you video-ing me?

Maggie is off screen, just the voice behind the camera phone.

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Maggie: (laughs) Yes.

Ricky: Aww man, why?

Maggie: Because you’re cute.

Ricky: Oh really? You think I’m cute?

Maggie: Yup.

Ricky: Well I think you’re cuter.

Maggie: Oh. Just cute?

Ricky: (pretends to think about it as he walks closer to her.) I think you’re sexy. How bout that? Does that work for you?

Maggie: Maybe.

Ricky: (flirtatiously) Shut that thing off and come here.

Maggie: (giggles) No.

Ricky: (glares at her) Yes. Come here.

Ricky starts walking toward the cameratumblr_mzzbxdb3Yc1qc2poho3_250[1]

Maggie: You’re gonna have to catch me first.

Maggie laughs backing away.

Ricky laughs following her.

Ricky: Girl, you know I will chase you, come here!

She shrieks, trying to run but he grabs her.

The camera phone knocks onto the couch and it’s angled to the ceiling.

You hear him kiss her as she laughs.

The video cuts there.

Maggie stares at the video, tears streaming down her face.

She gets up out of bed and walks into her living room.

“He was just here. He was so young and full of life. He was so loving. He was the love of my life. And I miss him terribly.” She thinks.

Maggie sits on her couch and hugs a pillow close to her, looking around, remembering the events after that video cut off.

She cries until her eyes run dry. Lately that’s nothing new for her.

Her house phone rings again…straight to voicemail, as usual.

“Hey it’s Lily,… for the hundredth…probably millionth time, are you as sick of receiving these messages as I am of leaving them. I’m coming over.”

Maggie covers herself with a blanket and drifts off to sleep.

It seems like these days, sleep is her only escape. And even then Ricky finds his way into her dreams.

A little while later, a knock is heard at her door.

Maggie huffs and drags herself over to it.

She opens the door to find her best friend and co-worker; Lily.tumblr_m06ua6dNoW1r8un78o1_250[1]

Lily: Oh my god, so you are alive! Where the hell have you been? I have been worried sick!

Lily takes one look at a puffy eyed, raggedly dressed Maggie and knows something is wrong.

tumblr_noboa0kmJj1sikj1co7_500[1]Lily: Oh no. What happened?

Maggie: Ricky’s dead. And I thought I was pregnant with his child, but turns out, I’m not.

Lily looks dumbfounded.

To be continued…

* I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise,

nor do I take credit for any gifs used.*

P.S. I apologize for my crappy manips, haha, I tried!…I needed some visuals of these two together because I think they would be stunning onscreen together! 😉 And I felt like Candice Accola is the perfect “best friend” so she’s my #dreamcast “Lily.”

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 1

Sometimes a scene just pops into my head, with vague characters in mind and a greater storyline somewhere in my mind afar but still somewhere in there all jumbled up between to do lists and my obsession over Justin Timberlake. 😉 Never the less the idea usually revolves around some kind of love story. Because well that’s just my style, it’s where my mind and heart go. Sometimes those scenes get written and blossom into a full script. Most of the time they stay hidden in notebooks and notepads or scribbled on random sheets of paper and forgotten. I just stumbled upon this sneak peek scene recently, and I can’t even tell you when I wrote it, but I re-read it and now I’m thinking it has some promise for more. I tweaked it a bit and added a few scenes. I think it was intended to be the start of something longer, but like always I never got around to finishing it. Never the less, whether or not this turns into more, I thought I’d share.

Meet the guy “Ricky” and the meet the girl, let’s call her… “Maggie.”

Portrayed By: Jesse Lee Soffer & Bethany Joy Lenz #DreamCasting

Two people who fell for each other despite their differences and circumstances that should and probably will keep them apart. But like always life gets in the way, and things aren’t always what they seem.

I’ll call this one….

 

LC poster

Maggie is walking out of a drugstore, she takes a peek at her cellphone and sees a bunch of missed messages, it’s just about 9 pm.

A black discreet car pulls up alongside her, blocking her from crossing the street.

The back door opens and a hand grabs Maggie into the backseat.

Maggie is about to scream bloody murder, when a hand covers her mouth, and she hears a familiar voice.

Ricky: Shh. Hey. Hey it’s just me.

Maggie: Ricky, what the hell are you doing? Are you trying to give me a heart attack!

Ricky: No. I’m sorry. I just- I need to talk to you. And you won’t answer any of my calls.

Maggie: So you choose to kidnap me?

Ricky: I didn’t want anyone following you or us. But hey by all means, there’s the door, go. If you think you can handle things being unresolved between us, then go.

Maggie sits back in a huff.

Maggie: You have one hour.

Ricky: (smiles) Drive. (he calls to his driver)

The car speeds off.

Ricky and Maggie end up in an old abandoned house. The furniture all dusty and covered in sheets. You could hear a pin drop, the house was so quiet. It was eerie.

Maggie: What are we doing here?

Ricky: I told you, I want to talk to you.

Maggie: What else could you possibly need to say that you haven’t left on the 45 messages and texts you’ve sent me.

Ricky: Ah so you did get them?

Maggie: (rolls her eyes) We’re over, there’s nothing more I need to say. It is what it is.

Ricky: Really?

Maggie nods.

Ricky smirks and chuckles a bit looking away as he walks around the dusty old living room messing around with things as he passes them.

Maggie: So what’s with all the theatrics? Just say what you want to say and be done with it.

Ricky: Oh please, the drama…you love it… you feed off it.

Maggie: (astonished) How can you possibly say that?

Ricky: Oh, give me a break, before we happened you lived in a shell…now what you’re back with that loser you used to date, come on…you’re bored otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

Maggie: Correction, I wouldn’t be here, if you didn’t keep harassing me. Or if you didn’t abduct me off the street.

Ricky: Hey I said you were free to go. You stayed. It was your choice.

Maggie: Yea well now I’m regretting it, immensely.

Ricky: You still care, I know you do. And it’s killing you. It’s killing you to be away from me, just like it’s killing me to be away from you.

Maggie: You don’t know anything.

Ricky: (standing against the wall, lighting a cigarette) Sure I do…it’s written all over your face. (he stares at her)

Maggie: (walking toward him, her arms folded in front of her chest) Oh, so what…you think you’ve got me all figured out?

Ricky: Well let’s see…your arms are crossed over your chest which means you feel the need to protect yourself… your heart, to be more precise. But yet you’re moving closer to me…which if you ask me is a sure fire sign that you’re confused. You’re contradicting yourself. You’re not ready to give up on us. (he smiles)

Maggie rolls her eyes and laughs sarcastically.

Ricky: Ah and the sarcastic laugh, dead giveaway. It means I hit the nail on the head. The little frustrated eye roll was sexy though, points for that. (he smirks, cocking his head to the side, looking at her)

Maggie: Stop analyzing me.

Ricky: You asked. (he smiles while shrugging)

Maggie: (turning away from him) Ugh! You are just-

Ricky: (pulling her toward him) What?

Maggie: Let me go.

Ricky: Sorry. I’m just not ready.

Maggie: Well too bad, it’s really not your choice.

Ricky: That’s where you’re wrong…

Maggie: What?

Ricky: I don’t really have a choice here. I can’t stay away from you.

Ricky pulls Maggie into a kiss.

For a minute Maggie kisses him back before pushing him away, obviously annoyed.

Ricky: You really wanna know how I can read you so well?

Maggie makes a face.

Ricky: Because I happen to be in love with you. Analyzing you is my favorite past time.

Maggie: (sarcastically) Well that’s not creepy at all. (she looks away)

Ricky: Don’t do that.

Maggie: Do what?

Ricky: Act like this doesn’t mean anything. Like what I just said didn’t mean anything. Like you don’t love me back.

Maggie: (sighs) Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t get to throw around that word, not after everything I’ve heard about you, and know to be true. Not after all the things I know you’ve done. How can you honestly expect me to believe that you actually love me? That someone full of so much anger and hate could even comprehend what love is.

Ricky looks at her pained, yet confused. Didn’t she get it? He thinks.

Maggie: Just don’t say that to me.

Ricky: Why? It’s the truth. I love you.

Maggie: I can’t do this. I can’t have this conversation with you. I can’t kiss you, or be with you. I can’t act like I don’t know what I know.

Ricky: That’s fine. Stand there and lie to me, lie to yourself. Stand there and pretend, you’re good at avoiding how you feel.

Maggie: What? I avoid how I feel? You’re one to talk. You’re a cocky asshole.

Ricky: You’re cute when you get all feisty, yea that works for me.

Maggie shoots him death glare.

Maggie: God I wish I trusted my gut, when I met you. I had a feeling that told me to run in the other direction. I knew you weren’t gonna be right for me.

Ricky: So why didn’t you run?

Maggie: Because the optimist in me, thought that maybe I was wrong. But surprise surprise, I wasn’t.

Ricky: Well you know what you live and you learn.

Maggie: (shakes her head in disbelief) I guess you do.

Ricky: Oh come on, I’m kidding…

Maggie: You think this is funny?

Ricky: I think you trying to fight this is funny.

Maggie: There’s just no talking to you! I’m done.

Maggie turns, starting to walk away.

Ricky: Hey, hey. (he grabs her hand) Stop running from me, it’s only going to make me chase you faster.

Maggie: How can you possibly think that this is gonna work? We’re too different. Miles away. Worlds apart.

Ricky: I love you. And I don’t say that often, practically never. That’s how I know this is gonna work.

Maggie: Maybe that’s not enough for me to stay.

Ricky: So you don’t love me?

Maggie: (looks at him, her eyes tearing up) Of course I love you. But I believe in right and wrong. You somehow think that you and only you get to control the in between gray areas. You think you get to decide who gets to live. That’s not ok with me. That’s never going to be ok with me.

Ricky: Maggie, Maggie please. I can’t lose you. I don’t even know what I’d do if you leave me. Please just tell me there’s some way we can make this work.

Maggie: I can’t tell you how to fix this. We are who we are. And at the end of the day that puts us right back where we started. We just can’t be together.

Ricky: Maggie. I’m not going to just let you go, I’m not going to give up. You know how this is going to go. Why fight it?

Maggie: Yea I do know how this is going to go. This either ends here, now with some sort of closure, and we both can move on, or this ends with me in a body bag…caught in the crossfire.

Ricky: Don’t ever say that! I would never let that happen! I’d protect you with my life. You know that.

Maggie: And what a life, huh?

Ricky: What is that supposed to mean? I would give you whatever you want, a house, a car, anything.

Maggie: That’s not the point Ricky. None of that stuff means anything to me. I care about safety. I care about life and feeling free enough to live it. If we were to stay together I would be looking over my shoulder every second. I would be terrified that when you left you’d never come home. Your world is a world I just don’t understand. It scares me. The idea of having a life with you scares me. I’m sorry I do love you, but I just can’t be a part of this anymore.

Maggie turns to walk away yet again, but Ricky pulls her into a kiss.

Ricky: That feeling is never going to go away, Maggie. That pull you feel, it’s electric. There’s something here. We belong together.

Maggie: Maybe in another life…but not this one.

Ricky: You realize if I had a choice, I’d choose you over this life any day.

Maggie: Everyone has a choice. It may be blocked by other people’s perception and expectations, and clouded by smoke and adrenaline. But there is always a choice. It’s up to you to see it. And to make the right one. This is me making the best choice for me. Whether you make the best choice for you, is entirely up to you. (pause) Goodbye Ricky.

Ricky: I’ll get out.

Maggie stops in her tracks, slowly turning around to face him.

Maggie: They’ll kill you.

Ricky: I’d rather be dead then without you.

Maggie: But-

Ricky: No buts…This is my choice.

Maggie: Ricky…

Ricky: I choose you.

Maggie: I don’t think it’s as easy as you think…they aren’t going to just let you leave. And even if they do, you have so many enemies what makes you think they won’t come after you, after me, after- (she stops herself)

Ricky: What?

Maggie: Nothing.

Ricky: (looks her over) What aren’t you telling me?

Maggie: I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but things aren’t the same.

Ricky: What kind of things?

Maggie: Just things. Look this is just becoming a circular conversation and quite frankly it’s exhausting me and I really, I just I can’t be here anymore. (she starts to panic and Ricky notices)

Ricky: Ok ok, I’ll take you home.

Maggie: Thank you.

The car ride is silent.

Ricky’s car pulls up in front of Maggie’s Apartment.

Ricky turns to her

Ricky: Hey (he grabs her hand) it’s going to be ok.

Maggie looks at him and tries to force a smile.

He walks her up to her apartment.

Maggie: You really didn’t have to walk me all the way up here. (Taking her keys out)

Ricky: I just wanted to make sure you got in safe.

Maggie: Thanks.

Ricky looks at her, unsure how to say goodbye.

Maggie: Well it’s late, I should get in.

Ricky: (nods) Sure. Will you call me when you feel like talking?

Maggie: (Sighs) Ricky I-

Ricky: Just think about it…please?

Maggie: Ok.

Ricky: (smiles) Goodnight. (he leans in and kisses her cupping her face)

Maggie walks into her apartment, closes the door and breathes a sigh of relief.

Leaning against her front door, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a bag.

Taking out a box; a pregnancy test box.

Maggie sighs walking into the bathroom.

*Should I continue, or just leave you guys hanging? #cliffhanger 😉

Maybe I’ll make this a two parter?

Maybe a three parter?

Bethany Joy & Jesse; my #dreamcasting 😉

lc

-<3-

* I take no credit for the images used in my edits or otherwise.*

JOY[FUL] Music

So I need to share some incredible music with you guys. These two fierce women have left me in awe of their lyrical genius and unattainable talent.

The first is:
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“Woman (Oh Mama)”- Joy Williams (formerly part of the epic duo The Civil Wars)

I’ve sang my praises for this duo several times on this blog and I was heartbroken when I heard they broke up. But the show must go on and Joy Williams is doing her own thing and has just released a new single called “Woman (Oh Mama).” And it is fierce as hell. It’s an incredibly powerful song accompanied by that similar folksy sound we all fell in love with when listening to The Civil Wars. But even through the absence of John Paul White’s voice that so perfectly complimented Joy’s, you instantly fall in love with Joy and her solo stage. I adore the message of this song and the lyrics are magic. Read Joy’s message about creating the single, HERE, on her website. And also click HERE for a rather interesting interview she did with USA TODAY about her transition from being a duo to a solo artist, she mentions gaining advice from a certain Innovator. *Hint. I swear when my musical worlds collide it’s like Christmas morning for me! Also artist Matt Morris is mentioned as a creative help to Joy while recording her upcoming album Venus, set to be released later this summer!

Favorite Lyric Choice:

I am the universe wrapped in skin

The second is:

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“Call of the Wild”- Bethany “Joy” Lenz

I fell in love with Joy, as she played Haley James on One Tree Hill. I have never felt such an adoration towards a television character before her. I just related to her for some reason. The sweet, caring, simple girl next door. Her divine sense between right and wrong and her ability to truly be herself no matter what everyone else was doing or calling “popular.” And by extension I was introduced to Joy’s spunky and soulful personality. And her incredible voice is doing amazing things in her latest new set of songs from her project entitled Get Back To Gold. Call of the Wild, is my favorite so far. It’s got a different, new, feel to it, then her past more folksy stuff. It’s a bit more sonic and galactic. Her voice sounds reinvented, and it’s amazing. Follow Joy’s amazing music endeavors along with sassy fashion tips on her blog Wish You Were Here.

Favorite Lyric Choice:

Baby when it’s good
It’s so good
Couldn’t you die
Baby when it’s bad
It’s always on your mind
Couldn’t you die
You are the last of the real lost boys
You are the last of the call of the wild

Wouldn’t it be amazing if these two fierce and powerful voices collided. I’m just putting that out into the universe. Because I would flip, it would be something special and I would be all about that       JOY[FUL] Music! Get it?

I humored myself by making a few quick edits. 😉

#dontjudgeme

Capture 2 Capture

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SO um THIS HAPPENED! And I am fangirling! It’s not everyday one of your inspirations tweets you back. #tweetgeek. Joy Williams favorited it first too! So it’s out there in the universe for sure now!

* I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise, music, lyrics or videos used *

-<3-

What is “Sexy”?

SEXY. It’s a term we all use. Thanks to Victoria’s Secret catalogs it’s a term we’re slapped in the face with…during the commercial breaks for our favorite tv shows. Often times used to describe someone’s physical appearance. You see someone walk by and they catch your attention and it’s like word vomit if you’re into cat calling and such (gag), for the rest of us it’s an inner thought encased in our own mind and possibly conversed to a friend walking beside us.

“He’s Sexy.” “She’s Sexy.”

But when you really think about it, what is sexy? What about that person, makes them sexy? Beyond that first glance.

singingggI remember back in 2006 when Justin Timberlake released his very controversial yet highly praised and danced to; mega hit “SexyBack.” As the lyric states Justin claimed he was “bringing sexy back.” Because you know clearly it had left on vacation in the time span between his first and second solo albums. It did. Music is just sexier when Justin Timberlake’s on the charts. #Truestory.

Anyhow, moving on. I remember him doing the whole press round up during that time. Being interviewed time and time again, being asked the same questions over and over again. I wonder how they just don’t pull their hair out! Anyway, I can’t remember if he was on Ellen or Oprah or some other talk show and I’ve tried to find the clip continuously but have come up empty handed. But allow me to explain it for you. When asked what “SexyBack” was about and how he defined the word sexy, Justin simply stated;

“Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.”

And I have always remembered that quote because to me it was beautiful and profound on some level.

I think what he said is so true. Sexy is not defined solely by a person’s physical appearance. Sure it obviously contributes to your initial attraction. But that can all change once you get to know a person. Sexy is about how one carries themselves, it’s about personality. For me sexy is tied to class. Class is tied to confidence. Confidence is often rooted in the fashion you wear, in the profile you hold with the list of checks you embody on your life’s to do list. Confidence in one’s self is important but over confidence or cockiness is usually a turn off. You have to understand that no one is perfect, and you have to be willing to except opinions that may not coincide with your own. Everyone is different.

As a young woman I speak on behalf of us all, when our hair comes out right and our outfit is something we’re excited about, our nails are done and we (and by we I mean me) feel like actually taking the time to do our makeup, it’s an instant confidence booster. And it makes us feel good. The same way I’m sure guys feel untouchable when they put on a suit and tie or a tux. Ughhhh guys have it so easy….suit, tie, shoes, gel the hair, shave a little (or don’t…scruff is nice) and boom, done. But hidden secret; girls don’t dress for guys, we dress for other girls like us. I mean come on. Chances are your boyfriend doesn’t know a crop top from a regular top. He doesn’t get it, and it’s not his fault, it’s in the genes. So when I dress up I do it because I feel like doing it, and because it’s an instant conversation starter for me and my girls. Where’d you get your top? I love your lip-gloss. That’s basically what dinner with my friends sounds like.

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Sexy is about what you wear, but it’s also about how you wear it. Sexy is about making them work for it. Sexy is about your laugh, your smile, the way you talk to people. Are you polite? Do you hold doors open? Do you pull out chairs? Are you respectful of your elders? Do you value a person’s opinion and thoughts? Are you a family person? Are you a good listener? What kind of music speaks to you? What dreams does your heart hold? Do you look past the exterior and take a deeper look? Sometimes when you do, you find the truth. Maybe it’s something that attracts you more, maybe it’s not. But that deeper look is important. Otherwise why are you wasting your time?

It’s easy to say sexy is defined by muscles, a six pack, cleavage, racy outfits, or arrogance. It’s easy to fall for someone because they have a cool car, or are able to buy you fancy things. But all of that changes perspective when you push pass the physical and materialistic items. Add class. Sexy is not without imperfections it’s about how you accept them and own them and make them work in you favor.

Sexy is about being who you are. And being ok with that. Sexy is about everything that makes up who you are. Your likes and dislikes, your quirky habits, your favorite television shows, whether you’re a wine or beer drinker. Or if you don’t drink at all.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Justin Timberlake fan. It’s no secret that I think he’s sexy. But granted, baby singingyea that includes his looks, but it’s more about the whole package. And no I am not referencing his “D in a B” skit. So get your minds out of the gutter. I am merely stating that his sexiness is tied to more. Like his class, his gentleman side, his talent, his voice, his ability to make people laugh, his personality. Fame is a tricky business. We only see what they want us to see. So until I meet him for myself let’s just say he seems like a real nice guy. I just think Sexy needs to be grounded in who are person truly is. Because that’s where their heart lies.

Classy ladies, who always get it right…

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Sophia Bush; Actress, Feminist, Activist. Avid live tweeter with Chicago PD fans! BADASS.

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Bethany Joy Lenz; Mother, Singer/Songwriter, Actress, Writer, Feminist. BADASS.

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Demi Lovato; Singer/Songwriter, Actress, Social Environmentalist BADASS.

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Taylor Swift….that pretty much says it all. BADASS.

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Jennifer Lopez; Mother, Singer, Actress, Executive Producer, Business Woman, Best Booty in Hollywood, Proud Latina! BADASS.

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Selena Gomez; Singer, Actress. BADASS.

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Emma Stone; America’s Sweetheart and all around goofball. Actress, Activist. BADASS.

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Lauren Cohan; Actress. Slaying Zombies every Sunday night like a BADASS, (and looking flawless while doing it) That deserves a second BADASS.

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Lucy Hale; Actress, Country Singer. This little liar may look like Selena Gomez, but she’s just as sweet too!

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Tamera Mowry- Housley; Mother, Wife, Twin, Actress, Talk Show Host, Reality TV Star, Business Woman. BADASS.

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Jessica Biel….I know I know. She picked Justin’s wife? I thought she hated her? Well I don’t. I think she is gorgeous (next to JLo I think she’s in the running for best Hollywood booty.)  However, she also seems incredibly sweet and humbled. And I think that as annoying as it is to be a fan of Justin’s and never see him and his wife act like a couple, I completely respect why. Fame is scary and the more you let people in, the harder it is to take back your privacy. So I get it. Some things are sacred. Jessica Biel; Actress, Wife, Soon to be mother? BADASS. Did I mention I used to be obsessed with her movie Summer Catch?

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When I sat down and tried to think of all the beautiful women in Hollywood that I actually admire, these are the first few that popped into my head. Not only are they gorgeous physically, but they are gorgeous on the inside too. These women are mostly singers and actresses, but also have a mind for business. The singers share their melodic voices and the songwriters write the lyrics that pull on your heart strings or make you wanna shake yo booty. (tally on how many times I’ve used the word booty?) The actresses help you connect to characters and embrace storytelling. They are serious, they are lighthearted, they are strong, they can make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel through their art. They can make us feel like someone out there gets it, gets us. The media will try to put them on a pedestal and lift them up making you think their beauty is untouchable but you know better. They are like us, like me, like you. They are women, and we relate to each other for that simple fact. Women are funny, and funny is sexy. There was once a time when women were cast on the side lines of comedy. But now we have Melissa McCarthy and Tina Fey and many more. Sexy is quirky. These women can go from posing on a red carpet looking flawless to sticking their tongues out or blowing a kiss to the paparazzi.  Each of these women put out something into the world that paves the way for the next woman. Each of these women make me proud to be a woman. They carry themselves with poise and class, and they strive for their goals. They know when it’s the right time to show a little leg or a little cleavage and when it’s time to dress a little bit more conservatively. They know the difference between classy vs. trashy or sexy vs. slutty. They utilize their talents and voice, they share their gifts with us. They realize that as a celebrity they have a way of changing the world and making it a better place. They bring awareness to worldly issues. They believe in love and motherhood. “Sexy is a walk, it’s a talk, it’s a state of mind.” Sexy is beauty and brains, talent, heart. Sexy is you.

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So….What makes YOU sexy?

-<3-

*I take no credit for any images used*

My Top 12 Christmas Songs

Christmas music is a source of happiness for the ears. You can quote me on that 😉

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When I was younger I would be playing Christmas music as early as October, sometimes I would even let it slip in during the summer. I’ve had Christmas in July and ugly sweater parties. And in order to create ambiance I realized nothing puts you in the mood for Christmas like listening to your favorite Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites.

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My Top 12 Christmas Songs

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Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree– Brenda Lee

*Every time I hear this song I think of the scene in Home Alone where Kevin is having his fake house party with dancing mannequins and such.*

What Christmas Means to Me– Stevie Wonder

O Holy Night -*NSYNC

*Celine Dion’s version also makes me cry every damn time. It’s beautiful.

And this is a GORGEOUS performance by the former duo Everly.

(Bethany Joy Lenz & Amber Sweeney)

The First Noel– *NSYNC

This Christmas– Donny Hathaway

Last Christmas– Hilary Duff

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays– *NSYNC

Santa Claus is Coming to Town– Justin Bieber

Christmas Love– Justin Bieber

Christmas Eve– Justin Bieber

War is Over – The Fray

Kiss Me At Midnight– *NSYNC

Enjoy!

And listen to the songs that touch your soul during this holiday season!

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*All these songs remind me of a poem I posted a while back and because it’s snowng out here now, I thought it was fitting to re-introduce it. Take a read if you wish. 😉

In honor of snow…

**I do not take credit for any images used**

-<3-