BLOGMAS -Day 11- The pressure the Holidays put on us

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Every year I say the same thing. I want to get ahead of the madness. I want to decorate early so that I can enjoy it longer, I want to find the perfect pair of pajamas, the perfect ugly sweater, the perfect dessert recipe. I want to shop for gifts earlier this year and not have to go around crazy rushing the last few days before. And every year I end up a stressed out mess. Some things I wanted to do- I didn’t, and things I didn’t want to happen- happened. 

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Because in the mist of my already stressful daily life- throw in the holiday chaos and I’m a ball of nerves. 

I did a whole post on this topic last year, titled “Have the holidays become too stressful?” And it’s crazy that every word can still ring true for this year too. 

As I get older, I try to do gifts for everyone and all the kids, and along with being in two other weddings coming up, (one right after Christmas) my funds are kind of low and it’s been kind of tough to budget everything in. At the end of the day I wish I could just focus on the real meaning of this time of year. The birth of Christ. The celebration of love, friendship, and family. A memory of togetherness. You don’t have to put a price tag on any of that.

It’s hard not to let my cynical side out during this time. You see others decorating and buying gift after gift, everything just seems so easy for them. They know how  to get shit done. But I know how Facebook is deceiving. If I were to put a picture of my tree up, it would look all sparkly and pretty, sure. But it wouldn’t show me hounding my dad to bring up the tree from the basement, or me and my mom stringing beads on each branch with tired eyes. You don’t see the stress. But it’s there, for everyone.

There are two sides to me during this time of year- that girl who wants to be- festive af- that’s what all the kids are saying these days, right?- and that girl who gets overwhelmed from all angles and starts to feel run down and anxious. And the latter is just not the best feeling, especially when society tells you- you should be happy. 

Which brings me to my next point- it’s okay to not be ok, during the holidays. It’s ok to feel funky, to feel stressed- or going even further- to feel depressed or sad. For some people the holidays can be really hard. There are people who are grieving a loved one, or who just suffered a terrible heartbreak, or who may be suffering from an illness, or just feeling stressed from work, or some people who may not have jobs at all and are just struggling to make ends meet. Or there may be people who may just be going through something difficult, personally. At times, in life, sometimes when it rains it pours and it could be a combination of a bunch of things that could be hindering one’s Christmas spirit. The truth is, you never know what someone else is going through. 

So no, Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to decorate early, you don’t have to find the perfect gifts for everyone, you don’t have to stress what to wear, or what to bake. Do what you can do, with the means you have, and do it with love. And those who love you will understand you. If not, that’s unfortunate for them. Because yes Christmas is magical, but it’s just another day with the same people and no matter what as long as you are surrounded by the ones you love, celebrating the birthday of our creator, than what more could you really ask for? Materialistic items get shoved in drawers and closets, put in basements, under beds and forgotten about. So why do we put so much weight on it. 

I know it’s hard not to. I know it’s sometimes a comparing game. Well they got me this last year, and I only got them this, so this year I have to do better. Or- they got me 5 gifts, so I have to get them 5 gifts. Tit for tat on Christmas? No thanks. 😉

Every year I stress myself out and in the end- it all comes together. It always does. My last minute shopping forces me to make quicker decisions, my baking gets done, my decorations get put up. Whatever needs to get gone, will get done. Whatever doesn’t, won’t. It’s simple really. So why can’t we live more simplistically? It’s about prioritizing. Truth be told I’m not quite the best at doing so myself. But I’m trying to learn to be better at it. Here’s wishing we all learn to take a deeper look at Christmas for what it really is. A time to celebrate who really put us here. 

Deep breaths friends, we’ll get through this together!

 

Have you guys ever felt stressed during the holidays?

Tell me about it in the comments below!

-<3-

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 10- Winter Wonderland

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The first snowfall happened over this weekend and it’s hard not to be inspired by the beauty of it all. I had a family party quite a ways away and was actually driving in the car for most of it. I know that snow can be a big pain and can be a total inconvenience. It can stir up feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety for me at times. But the way it looks when it first falls, the way it covers our tree branches in blanketed crisp purity, it is just so beautiful to me. In the car I looked out the window and saw the white flakes falling, as “O Holy Night” by Celine Dion played on the radio. Chills covering my arms.  And Christmas feeling so near. So this poem is about that feeling you get when snow can be just magical. I hope you enjoy!

***

Engine running along

Christmas carols humming strong

Brisk winter breeze

Snow falling gently upon vacant trees

Whispers you hear from the wind

Snowmen waiting to be made

Snow…

Let it snow

Snow…

Lightly kissing the cars and city streets

Santa’s on his way

Elves setting up his sleigh

Although it may be hard to see

Look closely and you will find glee

Snow…

Let it snow

Snow…

Although you may feel cold

Can you see the beauty as it unfolds

Blankets of perfect bright white 

Christmas trees decked in lights

Reindeer waiting for their cue

Taking flight to come see you

Christmas spirit everywhere

Winter Wonderland is here

-<3-

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 9- A Christmas Morning Memory

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Growing up, my brother and I lived for Christmas morning. We were always up bright and early, jumping on our parents bed to wake up so that we can start opening our presents.

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My Brother & I visiting Santa in the 90’s 🙂

However it’s important to note, that even though we loved getting presents, we also grew up going to church regularly, we were raised to know the true meaning of Christmas.

Referring back to Christmas morning when I was younger, there is one story that I will never forget.

I awoke early in the morning and snuck a peek at the pile of gifts that laid beneath the tree. There were so many that they spread throughout the floor. And standing in the middle of the room was a Toy Story cardboard toy display. The kind they used to have in Burger King and McDonald’s that showcased whatever toys were featured in the happy meal. I remember being obsessed with collecting those things!

 

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I remember seeing this and rushing into my room, and pulling my brother awake to see. Drowsy he followed and I still remember his face of shock.

When our parents woke up, we finally got the back story of how this thing could possibly end up in our living room.

My dad asked if he could buy the whole display and well…they let him. So he did.

I remember playing with my Little Bo Peep like crazy. And it was the coolest gift ever! 

Do you have any special Christmas moments you still remember from your childhood?

 

-<3- 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 8- A Christmas Story

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I’ve been showing A Christmas Story in my Film Club class and I thought it’d be a fun little idea to try and make a poem out of some of the classic’s most pivotal moments. 

 

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Christmas season

Lights are gleaming

Stories on the screen unfold

Family to have and hold

Every Christmas

Watch with new eyes

Laughing at their jokes

Pink Bunny suit

Mean Santa too

Young boy’s tongue stuck to a frozen pole

In response to a “I triple dog dare you!”

Bundled up in the snow mounds

Randy screaming- “I can’t put my arms down!”

Flats tires 

Christmas jingles 

“Oh Fudge!”

Bullies coming to mingle

“Fra-gee-lay…

It must be Italian”

Fluorescent leg wearing fishnet stockings

Red Ryder BB Gun

Ralphie is just dying for one

Parents, Santa, Teachers say with a pout…

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

Broken glasses

Icicle lies

Still a Merry Christmas to Ralphie’s surprise. 

 

-<3-

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 7- Single in Season

 

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Week One Down!

 

Christmas. 

Such a magical, special, beautiful time.dajf0[1]

Twinkling lights.

Happy tunes.

Nostalgic movies.

Tasty treats.

Decorations galore.

Glitter and glee everywhere.

Right?

A time full of love and laughter.

Family and friendship.

And for some- that extra special love that just makes this time of year burst with happiness and cheer.

Whether it’s a Boyfriend, Fiancé, or Husband, it’s just somehow perceived as “better” with that person.

Right? 

But what do you do… if your single?

Because how is it that around the holidays being single, just feels even more prominent?

Mistletoe kisses.

In front of the tree pictures.

Family gatherings have everyone paired off.

And there you are, alone.

Ugh, of course. 

Here we go again.

And I’m supposed to be cheerful and happy?

I’m going to be really real here…

I’m not going to act like it doesn’t bother me. 

It definitely does.

I love romance, I love the idea that two people can fall so much in love with each other that they realize they have the only one they want to be with, forever.

I have always felt that way.

In my heart of hearts, I love, love. 

And being around so many people who have that, when I currently do not, definitely weighs on a girl. 

And you start to question…will I ever get my chance? My guy? My moment? My love?

I’m sure many of you ladies can relate.

And I will admit there are moments within the holiday season where I will feel my heart ache, and I will wish I had that special guy sitting next to me holding my hand, or look over to see him chatting with my guy cousins (who are probably ranking on him, because that’s what they do). Or baking cookies and wishing I could ask his opinion, or someone to just do all the holiday greatness with- like shopping for gifts, seeing the Christmas lights, or visiting Rockefeller center, or helping me conquer my current fear of ice skating. Or simply just sitting on the couch watching Home Alone in Christmas PJ’s.

Now that I think about it, I’m quite sappy. Haha. But hey I don’t care. You can’t regret what you want, if it’s really something truthful in your heart. And that is the image I have in my heart when I think about being in love during the holidays.

But then I look around and I realize having a relationship would only add to my already happy holidays. My family is crazy. And every year feels the same. Stressful and rushed. 

But I love my family. I love my holidays. 

I love visiting family, going to church, baking goodies, exchanging gifts, sipping hot chocolate, eating my heart out.

I love dressing in silly t-shirts or ugly sweaters and other crazy accessories [See: antlers & Christmas light necklace], chatting with my cousins, playing with the kiddies, and still finding A Christmas Story Christmas Day Marathon to be the greatest thing ever.

I love our bootleg chimney with our old school stockings.

I love my best friend Christmas day I have every year with my best friend Roe!

I love the holidays.

And as much as I may have my moments of sadness at times, I don’t think I would want to ever take the memories I have away, even though I’m single.

Sometimes you have to look at what you do have, and focus on that, rather than focus on what you don’t have. 

Happy Holidays, my singles, we got this! 😉

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 6- (Mini) VLOGMAS 2016 Update

Last year I announced that I was going to be doing a Mini Vlogmas– that I would vlog from December 23-Decemeber 31st.  And I did. However, the editing process was put on a super long overextended hold- I didn’t start/get finished editing until late July/August 2017. While I loved documenting my holiday season with my family and friends, as I thought about publically posting the vlogs, I felt conflicted.

I fully intended on posting my journey of festive fun- full of good food and good company- when it came time to share, I just don’t think my entire family would have all been ok with their life being put on the internet. And I respect that, so I officially decided that I will not be posting these vlogs. Instead I think I will burn them to discs and keep them like my own little home movies to look back on.  

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However, I decided to share some pics of my Holiday/my To Do List/Schedule instead.

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December 23rd-Christmas Shopping

Straightened up my mess of a room.

Ran some errands/Went Shopping at some drug stores and grocery stores for stocking stuffers and all my baking goods.

Made Christmas goody bags for the kiddies in my family.

I shared some Christmas Cards I received from a few of my students.

I filled my stockings by the chimney with care.

Wrapped all Christmas Gifts.

December 24th- Christmas Eve

Did a little Get Ready with Me- hair, makeup, & outfit.

Baked cookies.

Went to visit my Grandparents and saw a bunch of aunts, uncles, and cousins as well!

Went to midnight mass (got baby Jesus blessed and put baby Jesus in our manger at home.) 

December 25th- Christmas Day

Baked more cookies!

Opened gifts at home with my family.

Went to visit some more family at my cousin’s house-and we all met the newest family member- my baby boy cousin.

December 26th-God Daughter Sleepover

My god daughter came to have a sleepover.

We played Barbies. (did a mini Barbie mannequin challenge haha)

Had a dance party!

Watched a Barbie movie.

Played dress-up.

Built a gingerbread house.

Had her favorite for dinner—TACOS!

Built a tent and watched a movie.

December 27th- Pamper Day

Lit some candles.

Did a face mask and hair mask.

Gave myself a manicure.

Did some other girly grooming bits like used a foot scrub and lip scrub, etc.

Ordered take out.

Watched some movies.

December 28th & 30th- Best Friend Christmas/Christmas Exchange

Had my usual Best Friend Christmas Day with my best friend Roe.

We built a gingerbread house.

Sipped on some homemade Coquito. 

Youtubed some Mark & Lexie from Grey’s Anatomy.

The 29th- was a super lazy/chill day/I didn’t really have anything to vlog.

Met my other best friend Jenny for dinner and dessert at a cute local Italian place. We had some wine and everything was just so delicious! 

We exchanged gifts.

December 31st/January 1st-New Year’s Eve/Day

Went through my 2016 Memory Jar.

Made glitter cups.

Went to my Grandparents and saw some aunts and cousins too!

Had an out door dance party and lit some sparklers.

***

What a fun, blessed week of family, friends, and happy memories I will cherish forever! 

When I finally finished editing all of these vlogs and I was about to upload them to YouTube and share them here with you on this blog, I started to feel something pull at me. And I just started to not feel right about including other people’s images. I love sharing my world with those who keep up with this blog. However, I have a lot of kid’s in my family and I think images of other people’s children should be treated with respect. And I just didn’t feel right putting anything up. I go into a more in-depth description of my experience with video and vlogging in my Video Update post. 

 

Have you ever vlogged before? What’s your take on sharing with strangers? 

-<3-

 

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 5- My VLOGMAS Favs

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I love YouTube. I think it’s a super cool, creative way to express oneself. And some of the work these creators put out is so cinematic, it’s like watching a mini movie and I totally dig it! You can get really creative with this medium. So much so, that people are making careers out of it. 

VLOGMAS has recently started, and basically if you don’t know what that is, it’s when vloggers (video bloggers) vlog everyday of December leading up to Christmas day. I know there are a million vloggers out there in cyber space. But I thought I’d share with you, who I enjoy watching. So these are my favs…

Carrie Rad

Niki Demar

Michelle Reed

Alisha Marie

Each of these ladies are super relatable. Each with their own style and persona. I enjoy their content so much because I feel like if I were to run into them in the mall, or something I could totally have a great conversation with them over coffee and become besties with them. There are certainly more vloggers I enjoy watching, but right now these are the ladies I’m keeping up with this Vlogmas season. 

**Kalyn Nicholson is also one of my absolute favs, but she is not doing Vlogmas, instead she is waiting until mid December to do her own- 12 days of K-MAS. Can’t wait for that! She did YouTober this October (daily vlogging for the whole month) and it was seriously so good and I looked forward to her videos everyday. 

Who do you like watching this VLOGMAS season. Have you ever vlogged, yourself?

 

-<3-

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 4- A Broken Heart For Christmas Short Story

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Two years ago, I featured a Christmas story as one of my short story series pieces. While you wait for the next Chapter of my current series “Move,” why not check out…broken heart for christmas
Summary: Dean Sanders broke Lucy Michaelson’s heart years ago back in their home town of Oakland Valley, Minnesota. And since then she’s moved on- moved to New York, started her dream career. And so has he, or so they both thought. Everyone knew their story, knew their love was lost. But little does everyone know…there was always more to their story, more than Lucy ever let on. Follow their journey through awkward run ins and past memories- both good and bad. 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6 

lucy and dean 9lucy and dean 4Lucy and dean 3Dean and Lucy

 

Let me know what you think in the comments below! 😀

*I do not take credit for any images used in my short story edits.*

-<3-

BLOGMAS -Day 3- Christmas Movie List

During Christmas time there are certain movies, I just feel are a MUST watch for me- those include- A Christmas Story, Home Alone, and Elf.

But there are also a bunch of other great Christmas films, we can’t forget about!

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How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Just Friends

Frozen

The Holiday

Four Christmases

3 Days (Freeform)

Snow globe (Freeform)

Christmas Cupid (Freeform)

Holiday in Handcuffs (Freeform)

Freeform usually releases a new Christmas movie every year. I always watch! And Hallmark is always on point. I MISS IT SO MUCH! I recently had to downgrade and I don’t get that channel anymore. :/ I seriously love their festive attitude, they just make you feel the seasons. 

 

What’s your favorite Christmas movie?

 

-<3-

 

 

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 2- Christmas Playlist

I’ve been keeping the Christmas tunes at bay, just to let Thanksgiving settle and have it’s moment. But right after, I was itching to blast my trusty old- Home for Christmas *N’SYNC album. Seriously I don’t know how I’m going to pick favorites, because honestly I love the entire album. By the way can we talk about how in honor of the band’s 20th anniversary, Home for Christmas is currently being sold on vinyl in urban outfitters AND NSYNC.com is selling new Christmas themed merch. LIKE WHAT? It’s the 90’s again!

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My Ultimate Christmas Playlist

This Christmas– Donny Hathaway

What Christmas Means To Me– Stevie Wonder

O Holy Night– Celine Dion

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays – *N’SYNC

Home For Christmas– *N’SYNC

All I Want Is You (This Christmas) – *N’SYNC

The First Noel -*N’SYNC

In Love On Christmas – *N’SYNC

It’s Christmas – *N’SYNC

O Holy Night – *N’SYNC

My Only Wish (This Year) – Britney Spears

Sleigh Ride – Hilary Duff

Last Christmas – Hilary Duff

Wonderful Christmastime – Hilary Duff

Christmas Eve – Justin Bieber

Christmas Love – Justin Bieber

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town – Justin Bieber

Happy Christmas (War Is Over) – The Fray

Noel The Fray

Angels We Have Heard On High– Josh Groban

O Come All Ye Faithful – Josh Groban

O Come Emmanuel– Everly-(used to be the duo- Bethany Joy Lenz & Amber Sweeney)

 

Did I miss your fav?

I still have so many others, but the list would have never stopped. Isn’t Christmas music just the best! Certain songs just hit me right in the feels and make me tear up instantly, for example it never fails- O holy night by Celine Dion gets me every damn time. 

Let me know in the comments below what your favorite is! 🙂

-<3-