Family

When Calls the Heart Chat & Style Files

michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

Hallmark series When Calls the Heart is such a wholesome gem. I fell in love with it last year when I binge watched it and got caught up before the return of it’s 4th Season. 

Now it’s in it’s 5th season, and I unfortunately no longer get the Hallmark channel. And I miss it so much! Not only do I miss the fun seasonal movie themes but I miss this Sunday night series terribly! I try to keep up with it through social media, but it’s just not the same.  

I haven’t found a free, reliable way to watch online either. 😦

All I know is there was a Christmas Special which I missed, and then the first 3 episodes have aired. Last season we left off with Jack proposing to Elizabeth who obviously said yes! But then he had to leave to go fight in a war. Leaving us #Hearties heartbroken. 

So Erin Krakow’s Elizabeth Thatcher was left waiting for quite a long time. Waiting in worry. 

Daniel Lissing who plays the role of Constable Jack Thornton, was absent from many of the ending episodes of the 4th season. And from what I’ve learned online, he wasn’t in the first few episodes of the 5th season either. [However it did appear he was home for Christmas briefly]. I hated not having our favorite smouldering Mountie at Elizabeth’s side. 

Needless to say he returned in this past Sunday’s episode and their reunion was so sweet and charming, as usual. Thank you to the sweet soul on instagram who uploaded clips!

 

“I’m home.”

 

Jack and Elizabeth have FINALLY set a date for their wedding, maid of honors and best men have been picked and Rosemary is clearly already in planning mode. 

It’s so sweet to see how happy Jack is to start his life with Elizabeth. He even created a rough blueprint for their future home, and took her to the land he bought for them. 5 bedrooms! He’s planning on growing their family that’s for sure! #LoveScene? 😉 They even had a sweet candle lit dance with a music box he bought while on his travels through the Northern Territories.

“There are so many rooms!”- Elizabeth

“Family is going to grow, right?”- Jack

“Apparently by a lot.”- Elizabeth *Of course Elizabeth has her shy eyes on.*

“I want to put a big dining room right here.”- Jack

“How big?”- Elizabeth 

“Well big enough to fit all of the Thornton Clan.”- Jack

So cute! I can’t take it. He’s so excited!

However, in sneak peeks for future episodes. It appears that the wedding planning doesn’t exactly go so smoothly. With a fire in the church, I imagine that will set things back. And a few moments of pain inflicted in Jack’s eyes, hints that we may get a bit into what he suffered through during the war. There seems to be a potential post traumatic stress disorder story on the horizon. If you ask me that is so realistic and makes total sense. Jack is very quiet in his emotions, very laid back. Never likes to make a fuss. Even when he and Elizabeth had their breaks in their relationship he was never overly dramatic about their confrontations. Sure he’s well skilled in the grand gestures, but he’s worked on them for 5 years, at the beginning of their courtship boy did he stumble over his feet.

Jack is so grateful to come home to the love of his life, but he’s throwing himself into planning their wedding and their future life together without taking a break. It’s all going to come crashing down on him. And I sense from what I’ve seen  so far, that Elizabeth knows that. She’s asked him several times to “Take a breath,” to “rest and relax because he must be exhausted.” She also has been asking him about the war and what it was like, to which he often deflects saying it “was what is was, and it’s over now.”  

“I’ve waited so long for this.”-Elizabeth

“It’s good to be home.”-Jack

“Now we can go back to where we were.”

“No.”- Jack

“No?”-Elizabeth

“I don’t wanna be engaged.”-Jack

“What?”-Elizabeth

“”I wanna get married. Build a house. Start a family.”

“Okay. Catch your breath.”-Elizabeth

“I don’t need to. The thought of coming home to you, and having you there everyday, it energizes me. It got me through some rough times.” 

I just love them. They are so sweet together and he really loves and respects her so much. I get all giddy just thinking about all the sweet little moments they’ve had together over the seasons- playful banter, disagreements, kisses, all the small looks and smiles. Even when they talk about each other with other people they’ve said such sweet things. In fact this past Sunday in a chat with a younger man- Jesse who is courting Clara (Abigail’s daughter in law whom came to live in Hope Valley after her husband was killed in the mine accident along with Abigail’s husband) asked for some advice. Jack responded that he knows he’s smart enough to know how lucky he is. When Jesse inquires if he and Elizabeth ever broke up, Jack answers that there were times when they put things on hold. He and Elizabeth took some time getting back to each other but they did in the end. Jack further explains that if Jesse and Clara are meant to be they will find their way. It was so sweet to see how he is now in this position to give a younger man advice. Many times he would seek his own advice about Elizabeth from sources like Lee, Bill Avery, and Abigail. He and Elizabeth have come a long way and have really grown together. The list is endless, I could go on all day. In fact I’ve been re-watching seasons on Netflix just to get my WCTH fix. I miss it so much! Lol. 

It’s so crazy that they are at this point in their relationship, I mean from their early scenes together, it’s beautiful to see them now so in love. It seems like time flew by. I mean granted I binged on Netflix, I’m sure those who watched live feel like it’s been an eternity. But in many ways I too feel like it’s taken them quite long to get engaged and now married. I mean Jack was courting Elizabeth for quite a while, and Rosemary and Lee even got married in season 3, before our favorite Hope Valley couple Elizabeth and Jack. Lee and Rosemary are super cute though too! I love how he is so patient with her and all her craziness! Lol. 

Although Rosemary came into Hope Valley at the end of Season 1 hoping to win Jack back (Plot Twist she and Jack used to be engaged!) It’s so crazy to see how much has changed, Rosemary and Elizabeth used to be each other’s competition, and now they are the best of friends. And so are Lee and Jack! Lee didn’t come in until the beginning of Season 2 and the two wed in Season 3! So it’s been a bit of a fast track for the Coulters.

So mind you, you can imagine how anxious we #Hearties have been to see Elizabeth and Jack finally on their way to tying the knot. IN TWO WEEKS! Gosh it’s going to kill me not to watch it! It’s such a big season for them! And I am very passionate when it comes to television and my ships! After all he’s had the damn ring since like what Season 1 or 2, I think! It’s been a long, beautiful journey and I really miss watching it live! 

I guess I’ll have to stick it out and wait until Season 5 is on Netflix. 😦 

In the meantime I wanted to chat about the things that make this show so charming. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that it’s set in a small town. I love small towns, and quaint little cafes, church and shops. I love the simplicity of their life, (not to mention that they have such a comradery in hope and faith throughout the town). 

And last but not least I LOVE the FASHION.

Fashion in the 1910’s were all about the long skirts, and the corsets. The lace, pastel colors, and dainty earrings. The hair was also in a league of it’s own with simple updo’s with a twist or long soft curls. In the first season, Elizabeth dressed a bit more showy, with large hats and flashy dresses, after all she hailed from Hamilton where she lived a wealthy city life. But soon she embraced the more simplistic nature of Hope Valley and toned things down a bit. She found herself, she found her home.

But for a character like Abigail Stanton played by the lovely Lori Loughlin, she had a bit of  the reverse happen. When we first meet her she is all about simple undo’s and no makeup. Beautiful no matter what, but soon Abigail starts to find herself again, she starts to find hope too and realizes she still has so much living to still do despite suffering so much loss when the coal mine tragedy struck taking her husband and son from her. She starts to let her hair down again, and begins entertaining some gentleman callers who obviously couldn’t help but fall for her. All while being a café owner and town mayor. Total Girl Boss. 

Simplicity at it’s best…

Abigail Stanton…

I just love it all. Rosemary spices things up with her red crimson wardrobe as only she could! #Theatrics 

*Get the 1910’s inspired look HERE

One of these days I plan to host a 1910’s inspired party. I need to dress up! I’m dying to play pretend and live in Hope Valley for a day. 

When Calls the Heart airs on Sundays @ 9 pm on the Hallmark Channel. 

 

*I do not take credit for any images/videos used.*

-<3-

 

 

January 2018 Update.

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

Hi friends!

How are those new year resolutions coming this January?

Surprisingly, I’m doing quite alright for this first month of the new year. Not perfect, but way better than I usually do. 

By now, I probably would have given up on things and accepted that they just wouldn’t happen. 

But this year, I don’t know- I just feel a little more motivated to schedule time for the things I feel are most important to me. 

I talk a lot more about my planning process for this year, in this blog post- you can read more HERE

This month I’ve been trying to implement a few new things into my weekly schedule to better my life and work toward achieving my main goals for 2018. 

For example…

I use my planner and then I have a yellow memo pad that I use for my daily/weekly to do lists.

So the first week of January was all about recovering from holiday stress and planning things out. I was researching a few things and getting ready to make some changes this month/this year. 

January 8th-12th 

Back to using apple cider vinegar.

-I’ve heard the many health benefits to having a glass of water infused with apple cider vinegar. I know you’ll read or hear mixed things. But my cousin’s a nurse and I spoke to her before starting this. She recommended Bragg’s Organic Unfiltered (with the mother)- it has a bright yellow label, that’s the purest one. I pour a glass of water, add two capfuls of the vinegar, add a splash of apple juice, mix and drink. The juice is just to soften the rough taste of the vinegar. 

Start waking up earlier- 9:30 AM. 

-My job has a later start so I was able to get up at like 10:30 every morning, but I wanted to start changing that and get up earlier so I can have more time to do things. I used to just wake up and get ready and have to rush out the house. I didn’t make use of my time wisely. 

Work out every week day morning- Monday-Friday.

-So I’ve been wanting to work out consistently for so long. I started in the Summer and tried sticking to a 3 day routine and it worked for like 2ish weeks and then something happened to distract my schedule and I just stopped and never went back. So this time I wanted to do something that targeted the areas I want to make a change in. So I found this blogilates video and built up from there. If a workout is too long or I have to stay focused on a video, I won’t do it. So this video hits specific areas and it’s short- can’t beat that!

Make my bed every morning [I let it slide on the weekends ;)]

-This just helps tidy things up. And makes my room neater. 

Remember to take my vitamins every morning, (Vitamin D3, and Iron)

-I know everyone takes different supplements, but these are the ones my doctor recommended me taking. 

*Tip: Iron pills used to really hurt my stomach, so now I take slow release tablets instead and it makes all the difference. 

Drink lots of water

-Try infused recipe- blogilates on YouTube has a good one that I tried recently…

I don’t mind drinking plain water, but sometimes I’ll buy some fruit to spruce it up every now and then.

January 15th-19th

I carried over all my habits from the previous week, but began adding a few new things. 

Wake up at 9AM

-I want to start making the most out of my hours, so I’m slowly increasing my wake up time. Because if I do it all at once, I’m sure to hit that snooze button, and roll over. 

Add to workout

– I added a bit of an extra crunch routine. Again slowly building up my work out routine, little by little. I’m not one to workout consistently so I know my body won’t be able to just jump in full throttle, and I won’t enjoy it.

Write more

-Mostly refers to my blog posts schedule- Mondays & Thursdays. But my writing time in general will grow too!

Research 

-This refers to a few things-Wedding related things for my best friend’s wedding, career planning, wellness, etc. 

January 22nd-26th

I carried over my habits from the prior weeks.

Go to bed earlier.

-I realized I wanted to start getting up at 8:30 AM now, so I realized I would have to go to bed by 12:30 AM in order to allow a good about of sleep. I push it til 1/1:30 here and there, because well I’m a night owl and sometimes I just can’t go to bed early. And it’s been okay for me.

Wake up at 8:30 AM

Read before bed

-I have been wanting to read more for as long as I can remember but I always find other ways to use my time. But I’m trying to incorporate it into my routine this year, even if it’s just like 10 or 15 minutes before bed. Currently I am reading, BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

Add to workout

-I added some stretching and my simply fit board. 

^ Yes I have one of these! 😉 I will usually throw on a fun song and just swivel around for a while. And let me tell you, you will feel it! 

Eat healthier

-I’ve been trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, but I don’t deprive myself either. If I want a donut, I’m going to eat it. But I definitely want to just keep striving to make healthier eating choices. 

**A few of the things I have on this week’s list, I had on last week’s list and I didn’t get to implement them, so I moved them to the next week. I didn’t just forget about them. That’s what I’m trying to work on- my mindset. If I don’t get to it one week, that doesn’t mean all is lost. As a list maker, I can really put pressure on myself to finish everything, and it becomes like a stressful race to get it all done. I end up sacrificing time with family or friends or quality of what I’m doing. I know I write this super crazy lists and then mentally scold myself for not doing the 20 things on the list in two days. We cannot do that to ourselves. Write the long list, but then make a smaller, more important list. Things you really know you want to get done and work on getting those done above all else.

Schedule of important things.

-I’ve been trying to pick a day to work on each of the important goals I want to accomplish this year. And I came up with this schedule this week and am hoping to carry it over.

Monday– Bulk Blog (Write blogs for the week, post Monday blog and post to social media accounts.) Get all my supplies ready for work week- make copies, do research, etc.

Tuesday– Work on writing projects!

Wednesday– Career Planning and Research.

Thursday– (Post Thursday blog and post to social media accounts) Wedding Shower/Bachelorette Party Research for my best friend.

Friday & Saturday– Time with Friends/Family.

Sunday– Church/Family time (Sundays are usually the day I spend time with my new little baby niece! She’s just like pure sunshine! I’m so obsessed!) Self-care (grooming, mani/pedi/facial mask, etc.) Food shopping.

**Granted this schedule is tentative, it worked for the most part, but it’s not always going to work as it is written. Sometimes my pamper time will end up on a Monday, or my blog will take longer to write and need an extra day. As long as I get to stick to my M-F schedule as best I can, I try to let myself breathe on the weekends. 

January 29- Feb. 2 -Current Week-Just Starting!

Continue those habits!

Write more.

-I want to write a little something everyday.

Make use of my morning free hour.

-After my workout, I usually have an hour before I have to start getting ready for work, so I usually will work on a writing project, or do some research, or in today’s case- write a blog!

Research weights/and workout videos using weights.

-I know I need to expand my workout routine and include some arm workouts.

Look into buying new workout clothes.

-Why are workout clothes so expensive???

Make plans with family and friends I haven’t seen in a while. (For the weekend)

Add to workout

-Added some more stretching time, and some push-ups on Monday.

-I want to add full crunches too. 

 

So that’s my January 2018 so far!

I’m super happy with my progression from week to week, and I am going to try to keep pushing myself. Forcing myself to update you at the end of each month. 

The only thing I wish I could do differently is not be so consumed by this schedule or these lists. I feel like I get tunnel vision and then I don’t get to be in the moment with my friends or family. I throw myself into a determined isolation. I’m hoping it’s only because it was the first month of trying to build a routine and that once I get it down I won’t feel so crazed. I don’t want to ignore the moments around me. It’s a balancing act, and that’s going to be something I know I need to work on. 

Cheers, to a happy, healthy week! 

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2017 Memory Jar Review

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!!!

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As I reflect on 2017, sifting through my memory jar, my Instagram and my blog posts, I realize SO MUCH happened this year. At the start of the year I made a vision board that I framed. It was made of just cool funky colors and images to match my room, but it also had one main word in the center and that word was CHANGE. I wanted to change and work on so many things and I wanted to make that word my mantra. As someone who fears change, I wanted 2017 to be the year I embraced it. And even though I had my ups and downs, my tearful breakdowns, my stressed out moments, and I lost a very special person- My Grandma very early on in 2017, I still managed to make some incredible memories. 

I’d I have to say that I rose to the occasion and embraced change. I changed. And this year I’m hoping to continue to change. To better myself, my life, my relationships and my career.

So here are My 2017 Highlights.

(in no particular order-but categorized)

 

*FAMILY/FRIENDS* 

-I rung in 2017 with my dad’s side of the family- my parents, my cousins, my aunt, and my grandparents. We even got to skype my brother and sister in law who were on their honeymoon in Hawaii at the time. I dressed up, made glitter cups, ate fun finger foods, and lit up sparklers as we had an impromptu dance party outside. It was a blast. It was in fact the last Holiday I got to spend with my Grandmother before she passed in February. I’m glad my family got to have that time together. It was also a huge family reunion when she passed, family and friends from all over came to be together. Although such a sad time, it was beautiful to see how much love there is and how many people wanted to share in honoring her life. Read more about that journey HERE. 

-Many family dinners, my brother hosted a few holidays at his new house- memorial day, mother’s day, father’s day, Christmas 2017, and New Year’s! My mom also hosted a few family dinners too. A lot of time spent with my immediate family. ❤

-I became a Titi. (In Spanish it means Aunt.) My sister in law and brother found out they were expecting their first child, so we got to be apart of the baby kicks and all that, I even got to sit in on one of their sonogram visits! We were all there for the birth and for hospital visits and for her Welcome Home. We also got to be with her for her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year! She’s precious. I’m obsessed.

-My family/friends welcomed a few new babies- my cousin’s baby girl, my brother and sister in law’s baby (my niece!!!!), and one of my oldest friends- Kate’s baby boy. 

-I attended special occasions like, my little cousin’s first birthday- it was a mickey mouse clubhouse theme!, my best friend Roe’s engagement party (where I was asked to be one of her maid of honors), I also went for several bridesmaids dresses, and got to see both my best friend’s in their wedding dresses during their hunt for the perfect dress! Attended my other best friend Jenny’s shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner and wedding, where I was her maid of honor and my other friend Kate’s wedding/baby shower and her wedding! 

-Took a Zumba class.

-I caught up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while! 

-Had a few girls nights/day in/out. Got to see my best friend Jenny’s new place. Had lunch with my mom and my best friend and her mom. Met up with a high school friend a few times, had some sushi and froyo with some work friends, and went to visit with old middle school friends. 

-I dragged my Aunt and my mom to the Mermaid Parade, in the rain and we ended up having a blast! Of course I dressed up! 

-I got to see my two little girl cousins in their Talent Show, my other boy cousin in his school play where he played Mufasa in Lion King Jr. and my God Daughter’s first dance recital!!! I love going to creative things like that, they are so inspirational. And I always end up tearing up. I love art!

-I read milk & honey.

-I went to the Polar Express again!

-My cousin moved back from Florida for a few months. So I got to see him, and it was nice because he hasn’t been home for that long in a long time. 

-Had a fun park day with my God daughter and her baby brother. 

-I spent the 4th of July at home with some family, we had food outside and then went on our roof to watch fireworks. 

-I got to treat my mom to another play- this time I took her to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and then I took her to Olive Garden. 

-My family and I went to this old neighborhood amusement park we used to go to as kids, and we played mini golf and I beat my brother! HA! 😉 

-Had a fun Beach Day with my mom, cousins, and Aunt. I only made it to the beach once that summer, but at least it was once!

*WORK*

-Started doing holiday/festive themed bulletin boards for my classes to display their Creative Writing work.

-My job hosted a Talent Show and my class did a skit called “School Struggles,” and they did so good! 

-I got a bunch of last day of Summer cards from kids I work with. The word around my co-workers was I got the most.  😉 I was kind of super flattered and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside! 🙂

-A few movie projects were completed by my kids in my Film Making class. 

-Chaperoned a few trips- one was to see Captain Underpants (which was surprisingly really entertaining!) at this really cool theater with reclining comfy seats, blankets, pillows and food service! The other was to the Museum of Moving Image which was really cool! We even got a special viewing of Moana. 

-My job hosted an end of the year carnival- with blowup rides, a photo booth, DJ, and a Taco truck…can you guys what was my favorite part—T-A-C-O!!!!

*BLOG*

–michelleleighwrites turned 4 years old!!!! (it turns 5 next week!!!!)

-I finished the short story series- Welcome Home! (Start the series from the beginning by clicking the title.)

-Started a new short story series MOVE (will be continued this year).

-Also posted two themed shorts- one for Halloween entitled RED THIRST & and the other for Christmas entitled A Husband for Christmas.

-I did BLOGMAS! (and posted to social media regularly.) 

-Someone made “She Said” into a little video and sent me it, I found out it was also used as someone’s monologue. 

-I created social media accounts for MLW!

^(Accounts are linked in the BLOGMAS RECAP! post.)

*TELEVISION/NETFLIX/MOVIES*

-I fell in love with Hallmark’s  When Calls The Heart and #JACKANDELIZABETH

-I started watching Supergirl

–Stranger Things & Fuller House released new seasons and they are killing the game!

-That’s So Raven got a Reboot- Raven’s Home– the nostalgia is real! Raven and Chelsea still crack me up!

–Will & Grace got a Reboot as well, and they haven’t changed a bit!

-Got hooked on and binged Scream the TV series

-Also got hooked on Riverdale…and fell in love with a new ship- #BUGHEAD

-Bethany Joy Lenz was in a new film on Lifetime- Snowed Inn Christmas, and my best friend Roe and I watched it during our “Best Friend Christmas” tradition we have every year where we get together and exchange our gifts and watch a Christmas movie and drink hot chocolate and Sangria while munching on snacks. And let me tell you this movie was AWESOME! It had everything- Christmas magic, humor, romance, heart, a handsome guy, and our girl Joy! Duh? 😉

-I found a bunch of good movies on Netflix!

*MUSIC*

-Bruno Mars “24 K Magic” Album (songs rolled over into 2017)

-Ed Sheeran “Divide” Album

-Sam Smith “The Thrill of it All” Album

-New Selena Gomez Music

-Demi Lovato’s “Tell Me You Love Me” Album 

-TAYLOR SWIFT  “Reputation” ALBUM!!!!!! (And Music Videos)

*PERSONAL/PARTY PLANNING*

-I fell in love with lighting candles, and wearing big comfy sweaters, which if you know me I used to shy away from because scents and fear of overheating myself would cause my anxiety to spike. I know that sounds like a weird highlight, but for me it means that I’m able to manage my anxiety in a way I wasn’t able to before. And do things people normally don’t think twice about. 

-I had a pretty fun fall- a lot of fall vibes, went to a pumpkin patch and got my fall goodies, lit candles, bought festive soaps and décor. Watched a bunch of Halloween movies, I even ordered Halloweentown on DVD, (FINALLY!). 

-Mini When Calls The Heart Premiere Party!

-I hosted a PUMPKIN PARTY! (Which I always wanted to do!)

-Had a Stranger Things Premiere Party (post COMING SOON!)

-I had a really special moment in confession this year. Read more about it HERE.

-I sent my god daughter and her baby brother (my second cousins) and my niece my special hand made, Santa Letters. It’s a tradition I started with my God daughter when she was born. I write a letter to her from Santa and mail it. So I continued it for her brother and of course I had to start it for my new little niece! ❤

-I was given a few special gifts in honor of my new role as “Titi,” two t-shirts, a bracelet and an ornament.

-I celebrated My GOLDEN Birthday! #26OnThe26th 

-I had some fun fashion moments! Palazzo Pants 

-I baked my butt off for this holiday season- for Thanksgiving I made Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter cookies with Reese’s Pieces, and for Christmas I made Chocolate cake batter cookies with Peppermint kisses in the middle and then White cake mix cookies with Milk Chocolate kisses in the middle and I also made a Berry Crumble.

-I’m learning my limits, and when to say no. I’m a fixer, and I realize rationally I can’t fix what I can’t control. And in this life there is a whole lot we have no control over!

-I finished editing a bunch of VLOGS!

-I put my birthday gift-Ninja bullet to good use and started making smoothies!

-I continue to decorate and organize my room. 

-Last Summer, I died my hair BLUE! and now it’s like a green/teal. I have yet to post pics, but that’ll be a post COMING SOON! After the last wedding I’m in, in July, I’m thinking of doing another color next Summer…maybe purple? 😉

***

That was my year in review as you can see, A LOT HAPPENED. And after my family was hit with a major heartache and loss early in the year, it’s an amazing thing to say that for the most part 2017 was a really good year. Looking back on all these memories, I realize that so much change happened and I managed to get through it all and make the most of it- at least I tried in most cases. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t hard, or scary, but I realized that a lot of the changes were good, happy things. And although they can come with stress too, I’m happy to say that I had so many good things to celebrate. I hope 2018 is just a celebratory for my friends and family but also for myself. 2017 was a lot about me showing up for other people, and although I don’t regret it, I realize I still didn’t get to do a lot of what I set out to do in 2017. So I hope to accomplish them in 2018. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue being there for my family and friends, it just means learning when to say no, and learning when to make myself a priority. Like Sophia Bush once yet,

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” 

I wish you all a Happy, Healthy, 2018! May all your dreams for this year come true. Cheers! 

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BLOGMAS RECAP!

michelleleighwrites 2 Comments

Before we roll into the new year I just wanted to do a little reflection/recap on #BLOGMAS.

lights blogmas edit

I actually did it!!!! 25 days, 25 posts- a post a day, everyday!

There were many times I doubted if I would stick to it. If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you know there are many times I let life sidetrack me from my blogging goals. 

However, this was something I set out to do, to see if I could actually meet the challenge. 

In the beginning, I felt it was pretty easy to post, because I had a few posts already scheduled and ready to go. It was just a matter of checking in on things and then posting to social media. So it was a breeze- then it got harder as I had to post in real time. Every day, I had to set aside time to make sure I could write, edit, and post all in one day. And this is when I realized just how difficult it could be.

With all the holiday things going on- the shopping, the planning, and other things in life like friendships, family, and work, it was difficult to stay on track. Towards the end, I was uploading minutes before midnight! But I made it!

I even blogged ON Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day. I had planned to schedule those ahead of time, but it just got so stressful and so busy, with baking and last minute shopping for the little things. This Christmas was absolutely insane, a lot of traveling around, and it just felt like I was going and going non-stop. I have a new little niece so we had a lot of new special traditions this year. 

So in between all that, I was typing up posts on the go, on my crappy cell phone. Making myself slightly car sick! Lol. Hey, at least you can’t say that’s not dedication! Right? 

Needless to say not only was my cell phone giving me trouble, my laptop decided to die on me too! So in the face of this challenge I had given myself, it felt like there were a lot of obstacles against me. But I pushed past every one. I borrowed my mom’s computer, my aunt’s computer, to continue the journey, I typed notes into my cellphone, I excused myself on Christmas Eve and Day to upload on my brother’s computer, all on minimal hours of sleep and holiday stress. Just so I could prove to myself that I could do this. And I did. Wherever I went I had BLOGMAS on the brain. 

I know it may not be a big deal to some of you reading this, but to me, it’s a huge deal. I often let this blog slide, when I have a lot going on in my life, because it’s my blog, I can pick up whenever or wherever I want. But giving myself a challenge, made me feel like I was  being held accountable for something. Don’t get me wrong I felt rude at times sneaking away to write or sneaking off to work on a post/use someone else’s computer to post. (NOT THAT I USED WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION, lol, because that would just be rude.) I just mean that I did feel bad doing something for myself in the middle of the holidays where your supposed to be sharing it with others. But it was important to me, and I think they all (or at least I hope they all) understood. I didn’t let it stop me from enjoying time with my family. I did what I had to do for BLOGMAS and shut the computer down and resumed my family time. 

Another thing I had to come to terms with when posting daily, (because I didn’t always have time to plan and pre-write) was that I couldn’t over-analyze my ideas for my posts. I got an idea, if it was feasible in a day, I ran with it. It usually will take me hours to write, edit and post. Especially if it’s a short story. But with BLOGMAS I was in a bit of a constant time crunch. So I had to leave my perfectionism behind. At times it was hard, because I felt like it wasn’t my best work, but BLOGMAS was a learning experience. You don’t have to love what you write, everyday, but writing everyday is great for a writer to do. 

My posts were all Christmas related, which was not my initial intension. But it kind of just happened that way, I guess I was inspired by the season. 

Another thing that was new to me, was posting regularly to my social media websites for this blog during BLOGMAS. In case you didn’t know michelleleighwrites is on Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram! Come follow along! I’d love to chat with you! 😉 And as someone who personally doesn’t post to social media everyday, it took some getting used to. But it was a cool experience.

I know I also mentioned this to you guys at some point, how my WordPress account needs updating and I haven’t been able to do that yet, so my photo memory is extremely limited, and so it was a challenge to post without images. I always like to have an image accompany my writing, I feel like it adds a visual aspect. I had to go in and delete images to make room for the few new ones I needed, or work with images I already had. There were many weird obstacles during BLOGMAS, and usually when things like that have happened in the past in life, I would just be like “Oh well, it’s not working, I can’t do it.” But not this time. I set a goal and I met it! I think there was only one day where I posted to social media a few minutes late, but it was posted on the blog, on time, so I was in the clear! Lol. 

It was a long BLOGMAS journey, but it kind of flew by and the more the time passed, the days grew and the numbers on the calendar kept climbing, and I kept posting and it just started to become part of my routine and it started to feel really good. There were times I thought to myself, “I’ve got this,” and there were times where I was like, “Oh no, I’m going to miss my deadline!” But I did it, I posted every day from December 1-25 and I am super proud I was able to commit to it and complete the task I set out to do. For myself, but also for all of you. 

Thank you for reading… (and if you missed any days of the MLW #BLOGMAS series, I will link them all down below for you to browse.)

BLOGMAS -Day 1- Christmas Bucket List

BLOGMAS -Day 2- Christmas Playlist

BLOGMAS -Day 3- Christmas Movie List

BLOGMAS -Day 4- A Broken Heart For Christmas Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 5- My VLOGMAS Favs

BLOGMAS -Day 6- (Mini) VLOGMAS 2016 Update

BLOGMAS -Day 7- Single in Season

BLOGMAS -Day 8- A Christmas Story

BLOGMAS -Day 9- A Christmas Morning Memory

BLOGMAS -Day 10- Winter Wonderland

BLOGMAS -Day 11- The pressure the Holidays put on us

BLOGMAS -Day 12- Snowed Inn Christmas

BLOGMAS -Day 13- “A Husband for Christmas” Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 14- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 2] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 15- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 3] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 16- Cynical Shopping

BLOGMAS -Day 17- My Perfect Winter Day

BLOGMAS -Day 18- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 4] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 19- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 5] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 20- Give me your Light, Oh Lord.

BLOGMAS -Day 21- Winter [2017] Favorites

BLOGMAS -Day 22- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 6] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 23- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 7] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 24- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 8] Short Story

BLOGMAS -Day 25- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 9] Short Story

 

*STAY TUNED!

My 2017 Highlights/Memory Jar post will be up tomorrow!!! 

Have a very Happy and safe New Year’s Eve and if your feeling the romance tonight- check out some of my New Year’s Eve stories…

Kiss Me At Midnight…A Short Story 

What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

*^ The second is a year after follow-up to the first, it follows the same characters.^*

For Old Times’ Sake

Once again Thanks for reading this year! See you in 2018!

-<3-

BLOGMAS -Day 25- “A Husband for Christmas” [Part 9] Short Story

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

BLOGMAS DAY 25!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!

 

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A husband for christmas short story_Christmas 2017

Read Part 1 HERE, Part 2 HERE, Part 3 HERE, Part 4 HERE,

Part 5 HERE, Part 6 HERE, Part 7 HERE and Part 8 HERE.

A few minutes later Noel comes downstairs wearing a silk red robe.

Kris notices, his eye brow raising.

“Well hello,” he says smirking.

“So I didn’t have time to get you an actual gift, you know what with getting into a car accident and loses my memory and all.”

“Right,” Kris says nodding, a smirk on his lips.

“But I made you a card,” she says handing him it.

Kris turns the card over and it reads-

“Merry Christmas! Unwrap me.”

Noel stands there as she holds her hands out, an expression of expectation on her face.

“Well…whataya say?” She says laughing.

Kris laughs walking over to her, he unties her robe showing off her lacey red lingerie.

“I know we’re not in a hotel, and it’s not exactly like our usual tradition, but…”

“It’s perfect,” he says pulling her into a kiss and then lifting her up over his shoulder as he rushes up the stairs. Noel lets out a squeal.

***

Kris and Noel collapse onto their bed, exhausted, bright smiles on their faces.

“Best Christmas gift, ever.” Kris says looking over at Noel.

She laughs as she climbs back on top of him, “Let’s do it again.” Smirking, he pulls her into a kiss.

***

Later that night by the fire, Noel sits on the floor, near the crackling amber flames, dressed in one of Kris’ green and red plaid pajama tops. Kris wearing just the matching bottoms. 

“So…I’m sorry I have to ask…did it feel different?” Noel asks slightly nervous of his response.

“It felt exactly the same,” he says smiling up at her, as he leans in kissing her cheek.

“I have to admit as excited as I was to be with you- and believe me I was very excited,” she says laughing. “I was also nervous. I was just worried that I wouldn’t know what you liked, I didn’t even really know what I liked.”

Kris smirks, “Oh, I know what you like.”

“Yes you do,” she says smiling as she kisses him, cupping his face.

He pulls away to look at her.

“What?” she asks.

Kris smirks, pulling her rings from his pajama pocket.

Noel smiles happily, “You found them!”

“No, I stole them.”

Noel looks at him confused.

“Why would you…”

Kris gets up on one knee.

Noel realizes and covers her mouth, her eyes beginning to water.

“I know that I haven’t been the easiest husband to handle throughout all of this. I wasn’t my best self right now and I feel like I made one hell of a poor impression. But it’s only because I lost my mind when I thought I might lose you. I spoke to the officer in charge of your accident, and I was so relieved to find out that the accident was ruled an actual accident. But that still just goes to show that anything can happen at any time. I just got so scared. And in the mist of all of that I’ve been so afraid that you would not want to even be near me and that we’d lose all we have. When I actually ended up pulling away out of fear of hurting you. And I know by doing that, although it wasn’t intentional, I know I made you feel bad and I’m so sorry. The truth is I just love you more than anything. I know you might not remember how this all happened the first time, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to do it a second time for the woman I love.” He says smiling. “Will you marry me…again,” he asks laughing.

Noel smiles brightly. “Absolutely,” she says as Kris slides her rings on her finger. She places a kiss on his lips.

“Now let’s go celebrate,” she says grabbing his hand and rushing off to their bedroom as he laughs.

Noel and Kris are laying under their red comfy covers, Kris kissing her as she sighs grasping at the sheets.

Noel suddenly has a million flashes of different moments of her life. She freezes as Kris notices, he stops and looks at her.

“Noel…baby…are you ok?”

Noel smiles, and cups his face, kissing him.

“So I guess we’re already working on babies, like we planned, huh? We’re not even married a full month!” She says.

Kris looks at her.

“I remember.” She whispers.

“Did you have another memory?”

“No, not just one, I remember everything,” she says smiling.

“Just like that?” He says confused.

“Well your power of seduction is just out of this world.” She says smiling.

“You really remember everything?”

Noel nods happily, “I don’t know it all just came rushing back at me.”

“What’s my middle name?”

“Kringle. Your parents had a sense of humor.”

“Baby… welcome back!” He says smiling and laughing as he kisses her.

Noel kisses him back, peck after peck after peck.

“I love you so much.”

“Mmm I love you too,” he says his voice husky.

“Looks like I got my husband back just in time for Christmas.”

“He never went anywhere.” Kris says kissing her.

***

A few months later- Valentine’s Day

Noel and Kris sit at a restaurant enjoying their dinner.

“So I have something for you.”

“Well I have something for you too, but I thought were were exchanging gifts at the house.”

“I can’t wait,” she says excitedly handing him the gift bag.

“Ok,” he says laughing, as he shuffles through the tissue paper. He pulls out a small white baby onesie that reads, “I love my daddy.”

Kris’ bright blue eyes shoot up locking with Noel’s sparkling brown eyes.

“Are you?…”

Noel nods a bright smile on her face.

“So we’re?…”

“We’re gonna have a baby!” She says happily. All eyes turning to them.

“Oh my god,” he says smiling brightly, getting up he rushes over to her, pulling her into a kiss. As onlookers smile and clap for them.

***

One Year Later- Christmas

Noel and Kris walk into their living room, Noel holding a beautiful, pink, rosey cheeked bundle in her arms.

“Merry First Christmas sweetheart,” Kris says kissing his daughter’s cheek. “Daddy and mommy love you so much.”

“Babe let’s hang up the stockings,” Noel says pointing to a storage bin near the fireplace.

“Yes, absolutely, come on baby girl, let’s hang up your stocking,” Kris says walking over toward the fireplace.

“Hold on, hold on, let me take a video for you!” Holly yells rushing in the room.

“There’s Aunt Holly!” Noel says smiling.

Holly holds up her phone as she records- a sparkling ring lays on her left head. Kris hangs up first his stocking, then Noel’s and then the third one-displaying the name- Joy.

“Yayyy!” Holly says smiling. “Hi pretty girl, Merry 1st Christmas! Beautiful.” she says putting her phone down and giving her niece a kiss on the forehead.

The doorbell rings and Holly rushes over, “I’ll get it,” she says happily.

Holly opens the door to find Jack.

“Hey you,” she says smiling.

“Merry Christmas baby,” he smirks, kissing her.

“Merry Christmas, come in, come in.” She says happily waving him in.

Just as Holly is about to close the door, a voice is heard.

“Hey wait for us!”

Holly stops and re-opens the door to find Rebecca and Griffin rushing up.

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” Holly says hugging them.

***

Noel and Kris sit around their kitchen table covered in food.

“I would just like to propose a toast,” Kris says holding up his glass, as everyone holds up their glasses. “Cheers to a beautiful holiday with an amazing group of people. Noel and I are happy to call you all family. Cheers to our greatest gift ever, our baby girl Joy. Cheers to Holly and Jack on their engagement, (Holly smiles at Jack, who leans in and kisses her cheek) and cheers to Rebecca and Griffin on their upcoming little bundle. Joy can’t wait to have a friend to play with. We love you guys so much, Merry Christmas!”

“And Cheers to my husband for finally opening up his own auto body shop, Joy and I are so proud of you baby,” Noel says kissing him.

Everyone cheers exchanging I love you’s and Holiday greetings. as the fire place crackles, Christmas music playing in the background and family love all around.

 

THE END.

 

Have a Very Merry Christmas!

And Thank You for reading!

-<3-

BLOGMAS -Day 11- The pressure the Holidays put on us

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

lights blogmas edit

Every year I say the same thing. I want to get ahead of the madness. I want to decorate early so that I can enjoy it longer, I want to find the perfect pair of pajamas, the perfect ugly sweater, the perfect dessert recipe. I want to shop for gifts earlier this year and not have to go around crazy rushing the last few days before. And every year I end up a stressed out mess. Some things I wanted to do- I didn’t, and things I didn’t want to happen- happened. 

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not my photo

 

Because in the mist of my already stressful daily life- throw in the holiday chaos and I’m a ball of nerves. 

I did a whole post on this topic last year, titled “Have the holidays become too stressful?” And it’s crazy that every word can still ring true for this year too. 

As I get older, I try to do gifts for everyone and all the kids, and along with being in two other weddings coming up, (one right after Christmas) my funds are kind of low and it’s been kind of tough to budget everything in. At the end of the day I wish I could just focus on the real meaning of this time of year. The birth of Christ. The celebration of love, friendship, and family. A memory of togetherness. You don’t have to put a price tag on any of that.

It’s hard not to let my cynical side out during this time. You see others decorating and buying gift after gift, everything just seems so easy for them. They know how  to get shit done. But I know how Facebook is deceiving. If I were to put a picture of my tree up, it would look all sparkly and pretty, sure. But it wouldn’t show me hounding my dad to bring up the tree from the basement, or me and my mom stringing beads on each branch with tired eyes. You don’t see the stress. But it’s there, for everyone.

There are two sides to me during this time of year- that girl who wants to be- festive af- that’s what all the kids are saying these days, right?- and that girl who gets overwhelmed from all angles and starts to feel run down and anxious. And the latter is just not the best feeling, especially when society tells you- you should be happy. 

Which brings me to my next point- it’s okay to not be ok, during the holidays. It’s ok to feel funky, to feel stressed- or going even further- to feel depressed or sad. For some people the holidays can be really hard. There are people who are grieving a loved one, or who just suffered a terrible heartbreak, or who may be suffering from an illness, or just feeling stressed from work, or some people who may not have jobs at all and are just struggling to make ends meet. Or there may be people who may just be going through something difficult, personally. At times, in life, sometimes when it rains it pours and it could be a combination of a bunch of things that could be hindering one’s Christmas spirit. The truth is, you never know what someone else is going through. 

So no, Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to decorate early, you don’t have to find the perfect gifts for everyone, you don’t have to stress what to wear, or what to bake. Do what you can do, with the means you have, and do it with love. And those who love you will understand you. If not, that’s unfortunate for them. Because yes Christmas is magical, but it’s just another day with the same people and no matter what as long as you are surrounded by the ones you love, celebrating the birthday of our creator, than what more could you really ask for? Materialistic items get shoved in drawers and closets, put in basements, under beds and forgotten about. So why do we put so much weight on it. 

I know it’s hard not to. I know it’s sometimes a comparing game. Well they got me this last year, and I only got them this, so this year I have to do better. Or- they got me 5 gifts, so I have to get them 5 gifts. Tit for tat on Christmas? No thanks. 😉

Every year I stress myself out and in the end- it all comes together. It always does. My last minute shopping forces me to make quicker decisions, my baking gets done, my decorations get put up. Whatever needs to get gone, will get done. Whatever doesn’t, won’t. It’s simple really. So why can’t we live more simplistically? It’s about prioritizing. Truth be told I’m not quite the best at doing so myself. But I’m trying to learn to be better at it. Here’s wishing we all learn to take a deeper look at Christmas for what it really is. A time to celebrate who really put us here. 

Deep breaths friends, we’ll get through this together!

 

Have you guys ever felt stressed during the holidays?

Tell me about it in the comments below!

-<3-

 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 9- A Christmas Morning Memory

michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

lights blogmas edit

Growing up, my brother and I lived for Christmas morning. We were always up bright and early, jumping on our parents bed to wake up so that we can start opening our presents.

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My Brother & I visiting Santa in the 90’s 🙂

However it’s important to note, that even though we loved getting presents, we also grew up going to church regularly, we were raised to know the true meaning of Christmas.

Referring back to Christmas morning when I was younger, there is one story that I will never forget.

I awoke early in the morning and snuck a peek at the pile of gifts that laid beneath the tree. There were so many that they spread throughout the floor. And standing in the middle of the room was a Toy Story cardboard toy display. The kind they used to have in Burger King and McDonald’s that showcased whatever toys were featured in the happy meal. I remember being obsessed with collecting those things!

 

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not my photo

I remember seeing this and rushing into my room, and pulling my brother awake to see. Drowsy he followed and I still remember his face of shock.

When our parents woke up, we finally got the back story of how this thing could possibly end up in our living room.

My dad asked if he could buy the whole display and well…they let him. So he did.

I remember playing with my Little Bo Peep like crazy. And it was the coolest gift ever! 

Do you have any special Christmas moments you still remember from your childhood?

 

-<3- 

 

BLOGMAS -Day 7- Single in Season

michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

 

lights blogmas edit

Week One Down!

 

Christmas. 

Such a magical, special, beautiful time.dajf0[1]

Twinkling lights.

Happy tunes.

Nostalgic movies.

Tasty treats.

Decorations galore.

Glitter and glee everywhere.

Right?

A time full of love and laughter.

Family and friendship.

And for some- that extra special love that just makes this time of year burst with happiness and cheer.

Whether it’s a Boyfriend, Fiancé, or Husband, it’s just somehow perceived as “better” with that person.

Right? 

But what do you do… if your single?

Because how is it that around the holidays being single, just feels even more prominent?

Mistletoe kisses.

In front of the tree pictures.

Family gatherings have everyone paired off.

And there you are, alone.

Ugh, of course. 

Here we go again.

And I’m supposed to be cheerful and happy?

I’m going to be really real here…

I’m not going to act like it doesn’t bother me. 

It definitely does.

I love romance, I love the idea that two people can fall so much in love with each other that they realize they have the only one they want to be with, forever.

I have always felt that way.

In my heart of hearts, I love, love. 

And being around so many people who have that, when I currently do not, definitely weighs on a girl. 

And you start to question…will I ever get my chance? My guy? My moment? My love?

I’m sure many of you ladies can relate.

And I will admit there are moments within the holiday season where I will feel my heart ache, and I will wish I had that special guy sitting next to me holding my hand, or look over to see him chatting with my guy cousins (who are probably ranking on him, because that’s what they do). Or baking cookies and wishing I could ask his opinion, or someone to just do all the holiday greatness with- like shopping for gifts, seeing the Christmas lights, or visiting Rockefeller center, or helping me conquer my current fear of ice skating. Or simply just sitting on the couch watching Home Alone in Christmas PJ’s.

Now that I think about it, I’m quite sappy. Haha. But hey I don’t care. You can’t regret what you want, if it’s really something truthful in your heart. And that is the image I have in my heart when I think about being in love during the holidays.

But then I look around and I realize having a relationship would only add to my already happy holidays. My family is crazy. And every year feels the same. Stressful and rushed. 

But I love my family. I love my holidays. 

I love visiting family, going to church, baking goodies, exchanging gifts, sipping hot chocolate, eating my heart out.

I love dressing in silly t-shirts or ugly sweaters and other crazy accessories [See: antlers & Christmas light necklace], chatting with my cousins, playing with the kiddies, and still finding A Christmas Story Christmas Day Marathon to be the greatest thing ever.

I love our bootleg chimney with our old school stockings.

I love my best friend Christmas day I have every year with my best friend Roe!

I love the holidays.

And as much as I may have my moments of sadness at times, I don’t think I would want to ever take the memories I have away, even though I’m single.

Sometimes you have to look at what you do have, and focus on that, rather than focus on what you don’t have. 

Happy Holidays, my singles, we got this! 😉

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living my best Fall life…

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

I’ve been getting into the Fall spirit and it’s felt really good. In a world that moves so fast, it’s nice to stop and enjoy the little things every once in a while. The holiday season is rapidly approaching and when that happens, I feel like it flashes by and I barely get to enjoy it. I’m the type of person who loves to decorate, to dress up, to be festive and do all the festive things that come with the holidays. And because there are so many things going on in my family right now, and daily responsibilities I have like we all do, the holiday spirit can certainly take a back seat. But as this Fall roles on, I’ve been trying to do little things here and there to keep my spirit in check like lighting my fall scented candle every night, and drinking some apple cider here and there. I recently ordered Halloweentown and Halloweentown II on dvd too! So I will be mapping out some movie time soon! 

Pumpkin Picking is a huge deal for me and my family, we usually all try and get together and go with all the cousins and their little kids. It’s a blast! But this year it was a bit difficult to schedule. However, I did get to go this past weekend, with two of my favorite ladies; my Aunt and my Mom. It all kind of just worked out really nicely and we ended up finding this really cute little place. I got to get some cute pumpkins and some other goodies!

fall goodies

I bought Apple Cider, Red Raspberry Jam, Apple Cider Donuts, and Blueberry Pie. And we picked some big, medium, and mini pumpkins along with some peppers and eggplants! My fall spirit was beaming! 😀

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Pumpkin, Jam & Sunflowers. #LivingMyBestFallLife

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#AwkwardStance

 

I’ll post an update once I carve my pumpkin…follow me on instagram for quicker updates… 😉 @michelleleighwrites_blog

*All images are my own.*

-<3-

 

 

 

Video Update

michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

There are often so many areas of life we feel we need to be good at all the time. And often times we struggle trying to make that happen. It’s impossible. You can do anything but not everything. You can be anything, but you can’t be everything, to everyone, all the time. If you try to, you will break.

As the summer comes to an end, the self-bashing comes for not doing half of the things I wanted to. Summer is kind of like New Year’s Eve in that way, don’t you think? We make so many promises to ourselves and then life happens.

I’ve been really thinking about my relationship with video and film making. And because of this, I’ve learned a few things. I wanted to get really real with myself about this topic.
To back track just a bit, I have a Bachelor of Arts degree. I studied Mass Communications with a concentration in Film and Broadcasting. The dream-the goal- to write for television. And yet when I look at all the video projects I’ve actually finished…the total number is not many. Many unfinished scripts/ideas for scripts collecting dust too!

Back in college, I had to do a few projects- one was a music video which I did for The Civil War’s Poison & Wine and the other was a concept video which was about throwing away stereotypes- it was very abstract and I titled it “Tearing Down The Label Makers.” It’s crazy because I feel like the message holds even more relevance today. Then I worked on my thesis which as you may know was a documentary about a day/or days in the life of my Grandmother who had been struggling with Alzheimer’s disease. I did two versions of that for two separate classes- one was the full version, and one was an abridged trailer version entitled Vai Com Deus.

“Poison & Wine” Video Shoot-

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“Tearing Down The Label Makers” Video Shoot-

Tearing Down the Label Makers

Neither the music video nor the concept video have been uploaded to YouTube, although considering these two were my very first video projects I am still very proud of how they came out and the messages behind them. I’m seriously considering sharing them. Providing the actors give their permission for me to do so, actually I’m pretty sure I had them all sign release forms!

During my college years I also attempted to shoot a script I wrote called Dumb Luck. A lot of time and production went into that but, it never got finished and the footage has been difficult to revive since my college computer died on me and I’ve gotten a new one. I am hoping to revive that and get that up, it’s super raw,  and you can definitely tell I was just starting out but the story is juicy. We only got to shoot the montage sequence. But a few years ago I shared the script, if you’d like to read that…click HERE.

“Dumb Luck” Prop Pictures

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“Vai Com Deus” process-

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Since I graduated I’ve done a few little side projects that are actually finished- I shot a yoga video for my cousin, a poetry video for MLW- to name a few and a couple of vlogs. The vlogs are less planned and less cinematic of course.

Yoga Video Shoot (Behind the Scenes) (this is not available to watch,  even though she was happy with the result-the video was for a school assignment and my cousin didn’t want it uploaded.)

“Secret” Society Video Shoot/Vlogs (Behind the Scenes)

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Then there are more video attempts- there are bits of footage shot for a zombie horror short that my brother and I had been working on. We even got as far as building a timeline of the clips in editing, but then…life. Life came in, things got busy, I got distracted and something else needed my attention.

“Inhumane” process- (Behind the Scenes)

20160418_20195320160417_235705Inhumane

Its 4 years now since I graduated and it seems that every time I get close to the idea of shooting something- I may do well for a brief time but then cue the rut.

The other day I was going through some old paperwork and things, trying to organize my room and I came across some old scripts and video treatments/storyboards. Both were horror related. One was the zombie short titled Inhumane, the other titled Head Over Heels (which I think would be a bad ass Halloween upload). And when I see these scripts and how the planning process was beginning it makes me want to get back into video. But then I hit a wall and the reality sinks in. There’s just no realistic way. For the past-I want to say 2 years- I have been well involved/invested in the engagements, weddings, bridal/baby showers of many people that are very close to me. And I have had to really dedicate my time and my funds to them. When I think about doing something short/simple- I think how I don’t have the actors, or the equipment, to do so.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, my brother is a photographer and he has a lot of equipment that I’ve used in the past. But I’m very weird about using it, mostly because he’s very particular about it, lol. And I get nervous I’ll do something wrong! And so because of that I am very weird about asking him for help. I feel like it’s a burden, especially now that he is newly married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. Even though he has been hounding me to get back into shooting Inhumane, I know he simply doesn’t have the time, we don’t have the people, and quite honestly there are just so many other things I’d love to shoot instead. #HeadOverHeels #MysteriousAttractionTeaser

I also don’t have the best sound equipment or the best editing software either so it’s kind of like a million things weighing against me. I think about how people would perceive the work I put out. “Didn’t she go to school for film and video? This sucks!” That’s how I feel they would judge it. Along with all the other worries, I fear I may not be good enough at it.

I know this may seem like I’m complaining and I’m not. I don’t want pity. I understand that life is fast paced and ever changing. I love being asked to be part of special moments in people’s lives. People who mean the world to me. But sometimes when everything seems to happen all at once it can be very overwhelming. And we all know that I can get overwhelmed pretty easily and my anxiety definitely tends to spike a lot more when too much change is happening.

I just think that in life you often have to prioritize and these things in my life have been coming one after the other and they need special attention. I’m the type of person who really wants to show up for you on your special day/during your special time. My relationships with my family and friends are everything to me. And so I give 150% every time. (Or at least I really try too!)

With my bank accountant taking some serious hits over the past few years, lol-so has my time management skills. I can multi task…sure…just ask my computer- I can have 8 different tabs open at once and hit all of them. But I can’t say with absolute confidence that I can multi task well all the time. I just end up overwhelming myself and needing to narrow things down. Focus on one thing at a time. Rightfully so…no? I mean how much wedding/baby events/day to day responsibilities can one girl take at once? Ya know? It’s a lot. But thankfully, thank god it’s mostly beautiful, happy stuff, all deserving of celebration. I will always be grateful for that.

Needless to say I know there are ways around this funk I’ve created for myself. I know that fear of inadequacy, lack of funds and time are a huge part of why video has taken a back seat. But I want to try and make some solutions to these problems.

Dear Michelle,

ACTORS– ask people I know/ research sites that can help find actors willing to participate for low funds or pizza! Haha. Asking people you know, can be difficult, it doesn’t always work out. My film and video professor used to always tell us to have a plan B because people aren’t always reliable and it can break your heart when a project falls through the cracks. This I know first hand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked family or friends to be apart of shorts and they cancelled on me because of work or life in general got in the way. It happens, I get it. But creatively, it’s heart breaking. Another thing to consider when filming is to keep the shorts abstract- quick cuts- simple images-

Avant Garde it- experimental film, experimental cinema- a mode of filmmaking that rigorously re-evaluates cinematic conventions and explores non-narrative forms and alternatives to traditional narratives or methods of working.

TIME– make time- plain and simple. Plan it out, and stick to a schedule.

SPACE/LOCATION– keep it local, go where you know- use people’s homes, lol.

FUNDS– keep things simple/super low budget- use house hold items.

EQUIPMENT– use equipment you have, or ask to borrow equipment in advance.

EDITING SOFTWARE– use what you have and make it work.

FEAR– “Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.” -A Cinderella Story. Your never going to not be fearful of new challenges. You just have to decide how bad you want it, and be brave enough to just do it, to hell with what people think! 

When you’re just starting out, or easing back into something Don’t Expect Perfection! If things are a little janky, it’s ok, it’s better to shoot footage than not try at all. And Vlogs do count. I’ve noticed I like vlogging when I have some cool things to do, I just have to get better at the editing turn around. Mini Vlogmas is still only partially edited. :/ As is the Gender Reveal Party Vlog for my brother and sister in law and a Family Trip Vlog to Great Wolf Lodge we took last Summer. I also shot a bunch of footage of a Polar Express Trip and my best friend’s engagement night. Really got to get back to editing!!!!

*Current Update– Since I last scheduled this post (which was a while ago back in the Summer when I was what I like to call bulk blogging) I have edited my butt off and have finished editing Vlogmas, The Gender Reveal, The Great Wolf Lodge Trip and The Engagement. I however am torn as to whether or not I should post them on YouTube/link them on this blog. I know have alluded to the fact that I would post them, I’ve mentioned it in many blog posts [including the Vlogmas announcement], however I am not the only person in them and I don’t know if others would appreciate their images being out on the internet. I know- why announce Vlogmas, take forever to edit them, and then never post them. The truth is I did do a small Vlogmas, and I did edit them, but I don’t feel 100% comfortable sharing videos of my family. I may just keep them as home movies for me, and my friends and family. But I am excited that I got so many of them done. That’s a win for me!

When things start to settle down on the wedding/baby front, I will start to save up for some new equipment. In the mean time, I just have to do it. Pick up the camera I do have and shoot something. Stop worrying about how crappy it might turn out and just dive in. I know I’ll feel better once I do. And the excitement and natural high of doing something I love will come back. I just need to do and stop second guessing, stop making excuses and just use the time I do have for myself wisely.

The reason for this long winded post is because I needed it. Sometimes you need to reflect on all the ways you let life pass you by in order to make you realize that you need to try a little harder to make your dreams come true. Be a bulldozer – and plow through the writer’s block, through the lack of inspiration, through the Summer Blues, through the funk that I’ve been in, and just go for it!

So here’s hoping to change my mind set! Wish me luck. No Scratch that- Wish me determination!

 

*All images and videos are my own.*

-<3-