Britney Spears “Glory” Deluxe Version Album Review

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***Let me set the scene: Midnight strikes, it’s August 26th, She tweets a link, I bust open my Spotify and start listening. #YES

My reaction in tweets & a text to my best friend (cuz only she gets it!)- #TheBritneyFeels

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Track by Track First Listen Impressions/Weird Random Thoughts-

Listen to the full album on Spotify for Free and you can of course download it on iTunes! #IMAyStillBuyTheActualCD #ImOldSchoolLikeThat

1.) Invitation

I want to cry. No overly done autotune. I HEAR YOUR VOICE BRITNEY!!! Really pretty vocals. This song makes me feel like I am instantly flying into a Magical Fairy Land. Love the snaps! Light musical background and the drums and snaps are perfection. “Put Your Love All Over Me.” Oddly beautiful. What a solid start to a new album. Very inviting! 😉 A new era for sure. I am ready for the journey Brit Brit. Let’s do this. “Yes or no, but no maybes.” Love that line!

2.) Make Me *Released as a single

I loved this song since it came out and I still love it. This is the first song where we got a taste for her new material. I love that weird dolphin sound at the very beginning, lol! #WhatElseWouldYouCallIt

Sexy. My summer jam. Sensual. I really like the rap break with G-Eazy. This song is clever and kitchy. “Make Me Oh Oh Oh.” is short for “Make Me M-O- O- O-ove.” “Your the spark that won’t go out. My heart’s on fire when you’re around.” Beautiful. Just Beautiful. “Cut the shit, be honest. ” “I just want you to make me move, like it ain’t a choice for you, like you got a job to do.” #SlayGirlSlay

3.) Private Show *Released pre-album release

Love the beginning. Vocals=YES! Love the scats! Raspy and Jazzy vibe. LOVE HER VOICE in this song! Not your typical autotune  Britney. Remnants of old school Britney…I’m talking “Baby One More Time”/ “Oops I Did It Again” days. I will say that I don’t love that whole rap breakdown she does, but then it gets good again, so I can deal. Lol.

4.) Man On The Moon

When I heard this song for the first time, I could tell that I was going to love it more and more with every listen. I get some serious Imogen Heap vibes here and it’s amazing. #LetsThankTheOCForThatStellarKnowledge Yes! Lyrics! Hilary Duff vibes. Yes! Space/Galactic. French lyrics. “I can’t compete with the stars in the sky, I’m invisible.” GORGEOUS. What a coincidence Britney, I’ve been waiting for my man on the moon too! #LetsDoLunch #GIRLTALK

5.) Just Luv Me

YES! Aw Britney, I just want to give you a hug for this song. Breathy vocals are BACK. Sexy lyrics. There’s a powerful feeling in this track. There’s a vulnerability we haven’t seen in a while.”Imma keep it simple, real simple, Just Luv Me.”

6.) Clumsy *Released pre-album release

This song is a bit more of what she usually does. It’s more upbeat and there’s a dance element to it. And there’s a serious beat drop. And I’m ok with it. I really like the chorus in this song. There’s a chanty choir, clap along vibe that I enjoy. You can belt it out while cleaning your house, or driving in your car, that’s for sure. “Call me a fool, call me insane… But don’t call it a day…closer to you, closer to pain. It’s better than far away.”

7.) Do You Wanna Come Over? *Released pre-album release

Dance. That guitar riff…Serious Justin Timberlake- “Like I Love You” vibes. Vogue-esque. I can already envision a music video for this, where Britney’s strutting on a fashion runway. Lights. Camera. Action. I love the echoy ending!

8.) Slumber Party

New age Britney. I really enjoy the metaphors that the lyrics create. “I think I see confetti from this potion. Pillow fights and feathers, overdosin.’Smells like a cologne and candy lotion. Like a slumber party. Sheets all on the floor just like an ocean. Building up your fortress like a mountain. Neighbors say we’re causing a commotion. Like a slumber party.” They paint a beautiful peaceful picture. And can we just praise the Jamaican influences here. Get it girl.

9.) Just Like Me

Most different vibe. JLo- “Waiting For Tonight” vibes. Hello 90’s. Welcome Back. Missed ya. 😉 The snaps. The guitar. Yes! I just feel like this song allows her to just tell her story. There isn’t an overly abundant flashy showy production that overpowers the fact that she actually has this richness to her voice. She can actually sing. “And I just can’t believe.
She looks just like me, just like me. No, I just can’t believe.”  I LOVE the “She can, she can, she can- have you,” line. Yes Girl. Sing it Britney!

10.) Love Me Down

Dance. An instant Radio Hit for sure. Would make a really fun concert song. That dance break tho. Am I right? A dance routine would have to be killer for this track. SO good!    Sia- “Cheap Thrills” vibes and I LOVE that song, so I LOVE this song. Flagging it as a Fav!

11.) Hard To Forget Ya

Um Britney do I sense some Bollywood vibes here? Because YES girl YES! There are also some Lady Gaga-“Edge of Glory” vibes here too. #RESPECT  Would make for a really good Zumba work out song. #MyBestFriendIsAZumbaInstructor #AlertTheBFF #SheWillBeNotified 😉 “Baby, so much for my poker face.” 

12.) What You Need

I am LOVING the snaps, the old ragtime vibes. #BrunoMarsBettaRecognize #OrJustDoACollab I’m gathering some 40’s/50’s vibes. An ode to Motown. #AllTheThings #AllTheOldTimeVibes Think Christina Aguilera, Back To Basics Era. #AintNoOtherMan #Candyman #YesPlease  Also any song that has horns in it… I’m game. I’m an instant fan. Seriously. Big Band. Big Finish. I can already see the old style speak easy lounge. VIBES. “I got what you want, I got what you need. Bringing out the diva that lives in me.” Gurl. Do Your Thang!

13.) Better

Indian vibes. VOCALS!!!!!!!! Her riffs are damn good in this track.

14.) Change Your Mind (No Seas Cortes)

Hold Up. Britney did you just go all bilingual on me? I was not ready for this. No Seas Cortes is said to mean, “Do not be gentle.”  Senorita. Latina. All the things! Thank you. I can already see her doing the tango (in the desert) with some gorgeous man for the stage performance or for a music video. “You don’t wanna cross the line, but I’ma make you change your mind.”

15.) Liar

This is her revenge, in your face, vengeance song. In it she sings…

“Call, call, call
But I’m never gonna come
Baby cry, cry, cry
You ain’t fooling anyone
You know I know that you know I know
That you’re a liar, a liar
You can crawl, crawl, crawl
You can beg and you can bleed
Baby talk, talk, talk
Keep on lying through your teeth
You know I know that you know I know
That you’re a liar, a liar.”

Air that dirty laundry girl. 😉 There is a Western country, harmonica inspired breakdown and it’s badass.

16.) If I’m Dancing

What!!!! The Beats! Oh the beats in this song! This song is the perfect combo of dance music and her natural vocals.  If I had to pick a song to kind of showcase the beauty of this album and the solid category of this album, I’d choose this one. Because it still supports the Britney we’ve all known for the past few years, and it brings back the Britney we knew in her first two albums. “If I’m dancing, I know the music’s good.”

17.) Coupure Electrique  *Translations

This is translated as Electric Cut or Blackout. The song is fully sung in French. #PropsforThatOneBrit I don’t know what she’s saying, but it sounds pretty and I can dig it!

**Check out all Britney’s lyrics HERE

RECAP:

When I heard Britney was dropping a new album it kind of felt like it was out of nowhere. That’s the way nowadays I suppose. A swift little tweet or instagram hint and the internet explodes. I was sort of just like oh cool, definitely be checking that out. It’s Britney, of course I’m going to check in on my girl. #Forever  But when I read that she stated it was going to put forth a new era for her. My interest spiked. I have been wanting Britney Spears to shake up her sound FOR YEARS! Like YEARS. It’s not that I don’t love a good Britney dance track, but somewhere in those years she lost her voice. It was overly auto tuned and masked. And with Glory, (her 9TH studio album, holy crap who else feels old?) I think it’s safe to say, she’s taking that voice back. #SUCKITAUTOTUNE I think she really blended her styles together. Giving bits and odes of her past albums and her more recent albums while experimenting with new sounds. She had a little talky talk adlibs in there too, which you gotta just love. And I know that I compared a lot of her songs to other artists, but I don’t see that as a bad thing, I see it as inspiration, growth, experimentation with new sound and influences. I see it was an epic album.

I’m kind of surprised she didn’t collaborate with more people though. If this is that much of a turning point of an album for her, I would have thought she would have enlisted some serious artists. But I have to admit, I’m really glad she didn’t. Take your voice back, YOUR way. Make it about YOU Britney. Although THIS NEWS recently surfaced and I’m fangirling my ASS off.  #LETSMAKETHISCOLLABHAPPEN #ImLookingAtYouJustin #IveWaitedYEARS  #DoYouKnowWhatItsLikeToBeMe #PickUpWhatImPuttingDown

This album was the perfect transition  back to Britney’s real voice. That rasp and that Britney gurgle we all know and love. You know what I’m talking about…the first 3 seconds of Oops I Did It Again. “Mmm Yea.” There’s a real richness to her voice that for years we didn’t get to hear, because it was covered by fancy beats and auto tuned to a pulp. The next step…do an acoustic album girl. #GloryStripped #GloryUnplugged #Glory2.0

End result. Queen is Back. #Thrown #ByeBeyonce

Britney rocking the VMA stage, a stage she hasn’t performed on in nearly a decade! I was so proud! The beginning was my favorite, with the shadows and the snaps. And she rocked that yellow outfit!

#ItsBritneyBitch

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any Britney Images, Music or Videos used.* 

 

 

 

One Tree Hill Music Feels

**No Monday Post this week. Boo! I know, I broke my streak. But I was actually away in Atlantic City celebrating my brother’s 30th birthday with my family and I didn’t have time to schedule anything worth posting. So I’ll just let that one go, and give you a sick ass Thursday post full of one of my most favorite things…MUSIC. Hope you dig it! 😉

I’ve spoken about my love for One Tree Hill many times, and I am sure that I’ve even dabbled in expressing how much the music on that show inspired new ways of listening to music for me.

I may not have been the biggest Peyton Sawyer fan, but I can safely say that because of her emo “I hate my life” teen angst attitude, I was catapulted into learning the ways of appreciating new music.

Then as Haley James became a songstress and TRIC was born, the music become it’s own character on the show. And for me this character was so well beloved.

I can’t tell you how many times I’d be watching an episode and a line in a song would just tweak my heart and I’d go on a search for that same song with a fury. Cue the greatest One Tree Hill fansite: oth-music.com. This site gave song by song for every episode and it was a lifesaver. If I hear a song, my mind will usually be able to register whether or not it’s been featured on One Tree Hill, and then it can usually tell what scene or bring me back to the days of middle school into high school when that show was LIFE for me and my friends. That time is so special to my heart and it lasted 9 years. Longer than most relationships usually last. So hey what the hell…oth music is my boyfriend. 😉

Here are some of my most treasured songs featured on the show. Anything Gavin DeGraw, Michelle Featherstone, Sarah McLachlan, Susie Suh, or Bethany Joy Lenz was pretty much a staple on the show’s music scene. And because of the show, my musical ear kind of transcended my usual pop radio feels into something much more rich with feeling and understanding. A new aged relatability was born. My best friend was the facilitator for this. She would call me up just to read me lyrics or make me mixed CDs full of songs from One Tree Hill and The OC. I still have them! Pretty sure she was the one to find the music site too. TV shows use music to elevate it’s scenes and the material written. It can take an ordinary chat between friends and make it a life lesson, or can take a heartbreak one particular character is going through and make you feel it in your soul. Music is the universal language. And in some epic way, everybody knows how to speak it- it’s a beautiful thing.

My Ultimate One Tree Hill Favs Playlist- 

1.  Go On My Child– Michelle Featherstone

2. Stay– Michelle Featherstone

3. Sunday– Michelle Featherstone

4. Belief– Gavin Degraw

5. For Blue Skies– Strays Don’t Sleep

6. Boston– Augustana

7. Broken– Lifehouse

8. Dark Blue– Jack’s Mannequin

9. Lesson Learned– Ray LaMontagne

10. Hold You In My Arms– Ray LaMontagne

11. Hear You Me– Jimmy Eat World

12. I Shall Believe– Sheryl Crow

13. The Good Kind– The Wreckers (Michelle Branch & Jessica Harp)

14. Run– Snow Patrol

15. Fallen-Sarah McLachlan

16. It’s Only Life– Kate Voegele

17. More Than Anyone– Gavin DeGraw

18. I Don’t Want To Be– Gavin DeGraw    *Duh? #ThemeSong

19. Look After You– The Fray

20. Hundred– The Fray

21. Maybe– Everly (Bethany Joy Lenz & Amber Sweeney)

22. Halo– Bethany Joy Lenz as “Haley James Scott”

23. Huddle Formati0n– The Go! Team

24. Perfect Now– Sarah Blasko

25. Lavinia– The Veils

26. Say It Ain’t So– Mozella (Weezer cover)

27. Something To Believe In– Aqualung

28. What Are You Afraid Of– West Indian Girl

29. Wires– Athlete

30. Return To Me– Matthew Ryan

31. Lights And Sounds– Yellowcard

32. Silence Is Easy– Starsailor

33. Re-Offender– Travis

34. Everything– Fefe Dobson

35. Be Yourself– Audioslave

36. Sidewalks– Story Of The Year

37. Lie In Sound– Trespassers William

38. Seasons Change– Susie Suh

39. All I Want– Susie Suh

40. They’ll Never Know– Ross Copperman

41. Lightning Crashes– Live

42. Can You Sleep– Courtney Jave

43. When The Stars Go Blue– Bethany Joy Lenz & Tyler Hilton (Ryan Adams cover)

44. Missing You– Tyler Hilton (John Waite cover)

45. Never Say Never– The Fray

46. See Me– Rob Giles

47. Save You– Matthew Perryman Jones

48. Like A Man Possessed-The Get Up Kids

49. 100 Years– Five For Fighting

50. She Has No Time– Keane

51. Everybody’s Changing– Keane

52. Hallelujah– Kate Voegele (Leonard Cohen cover)

And this my friends is just the tip of the iceberg…when it comes to great music from the show. Seriously YouTube it, Spotify it, and just bask in the wonder that is music and lyrics and all things One Tree Hill. And if you’re like me and a major super fan of the show, than you will get some serious nostalgic feels. Enjoy! 😀

*I do not take credit for any images or songs/videos used.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“On The Run” Soundtrack & Author’s Commentary

DISCLAIMER: On The Run is not a real motion picture nor does it have a soundtrack coming out. This is just me living in my fictional happy writer’s world. Where I pretend and where I run the show. Haha. Back in college whenever I would hand in a script or be working with already written material/feature film scenes, my professor would ask me who I would have play the characters, where would it take place, what location? And so I think that kind of stuck with me, because as I write this story series I want to include those aspects and give you a visual experience. Mysterious Attraction was my first shot at it, then came A Broken Heart For Christmas, and Love Conflicted. Along the way there have been little one shots, or shorts including a few parts as well. But that distinction is not always clear, I don’t always know how long a story is going to take to tell. As a kid I used to say “Make Pretend” all the time. Make Pretend you’re a princess who slays dragons. Make pretend you’re a ballerina who bull rides. Make pretend you’re writing a screenplay and you get to pick the actors, and release a soundtrack and commentary that people have been anxiously awaiting. The options could be endless. So let’s “Make Pretend.” Enjoy!

New Cast Promotional Photo:

New poster

On The Run Soundtrack Album Artwork:

so damn good

Track list:

  1. “Make Me”- Britney Spears
  2. “Treat You Better”- Shawn Mendes
  3. “Scared of Happy”- Fifth Harmony
  4. “Home”- Rhodes
  5. “Not a Bad Thing”- Justin Timberlake
  6. “Dangerous Woman”- Ariana Grande
  7. “Pillow Talk”- Zayn Malik
  8. “Open Arms”- Journey
  9. “I Miss You”- Adele
  10. “Water Under the Bridge” – Adele
  11. “Things I’ll Never Say”- Avril Lavigne
  12. “I Run To You”- Lady Antebellum
  13. “Save You”- Matthew Perryman Jones
  14. “I See Fire”- Ed Sheeran
  15. “How to Save a Life”-The Fray
  16. “I Had Me A Girl”- The Civil Wars

 

Author’s Commentary-

Background:

On The Run is a short story series featured here on Michelle Leigh Writes. The story premiered on March 7, 2016 and ran pretty consistently all the way up until May 12, 2016. For the duration of a little more than 2 months, On The Run was my focal point. Then came a May/June slump. Posting resumed in July and the series wrapped in August. So over the span of about 6 months (give or take) On The Run was formulated here on this blog, for you to read.

Notes/Likes/Questions:

So often I dissect and pull apart my stories, which I think helps me to become a better writer. But I do want to shed some light on what I felt did work in this story.

I love the idea of Charlie and Sage having a connection they can’t explain. I love the mystery behind both of these characters, more specifically Sage’s character.

Charlie is this trusting, forgiving man who is stuck on believing the goodness in people deserving of it. He experiences this strange sense of human instinct to protect Sage. And because of that nature, Sage feels a strange sense of comfort when with him.

Sage is simple, beautiful and strong. A strength like no other. A selfless-ness like no other.

The relationship between these two characters evolves over time. Sage’s resistance is clear. And while we are tricked to believe that Charlie is the hero of the story, we soon realize that Sage is the heroine. She is determined to protect her family and friends at any cost, no matter the consequence or the effect it will have on her life. I enjoy how in such a short amount of time, Charlie to some extent has got Sage figured out, it’s a combination of his police training, and just being a really perceptive good judge of character. But one minute he thinks he knows her, but the next he’s left completely confused and bewildered. She certainly keeps him on his toes.

I love that Sage’s character ends up blurring the lines between right and wrong for a good cause. And that choice, in turn lands her into Charlie’s storyline of trying to save those who would otherwise go unjustified.

Match made in heaven, don’t you think?

In this story, you see a different side to law enforcement. That some cops and detectives will go out of their way, will go the extra mile.

I enjoy how the story unfolds of what happened that night of the murder. The glimpses we get through flashbacks. I wonder if the fact that it ended being Megan was a shock to any readers.

I also wonder how readers may view Sage/Charlie’s relationship.

Do you think it was believable? Did they fall too quickly?

Their relationship evolved quickly over a short amount of time- a few weeks at best.

Did you trust Charlie? Did you trust Sage?

When Sage found Charlie’s Detective Card did you see it coming?

Or did you feel as betrayed as Sage did?

Were you worried he was working against her, and just helping her to gather information?

Or were you rooting for Sage and Charlie to kick start a romance?

I personally like how for the most part this is a 2 character centric story. It felt nice to be able to have special moments/awkward tensions, emotions between just these two characters.

Most of the communication between these two is based upon their eye contact, their looks, their glares and stares. When those moment become too heavy, often times Sage will blush, while Charlie will chuckle and look away. Sage has been known to need to break their eye contact often two as she fidgets under his stare. He often looks her over, in a way that makes her nervous, her heart flutters and she doesn’t mind.

In the moments when they do touch, at first it’s just instinct. The need for Sage to feel close to someone, to feel guarded. But then that instinct becomes natural for both of them and blossoms into a different kind of need, a need to feel the touch of the person they are falling in love with.

Charlie is only scared of pushing Sage away or losing her. He’s not afraid of his feelings. While, Sage is afraid on many different levels, even though she too feels the spark ignited between she and Charlie.

Relationships are hard/complicated/contradictory. Sometimes feelings can change so rapidly, that we don’t always know how or why or what to do with them.

The playful flirtation between the two are my favorite moments. You see the real Sage in those moments. You see the sassy, sweet, funny, sexy girl she was before this all happened. You see they are both letting loose with each other and it’s a contrast to the darkness of the murder mystery plot which drives the bulk on the story.

Dream Casting:

“Sage Renly”- Shay Mitchell

Just fit the earthy, beautiful, vibes of Sage

“Charlie Steinfeld”- Max Thieriot

Just fit the rugged, kind, loyal vibes of Charlie.

*Both characters are simple life livers looking for love before all this drama unfolds.

Love scenes:

One of these days, I won’t blush while writing a love scene. I won’t hide in a corner shielding my computer screen from curious eyes. I won’t feel ashamed of what I’m writing. I find that when I write a love scene, I continuously edit myself. What if a family member of mine reads this? Oh my god what will they think? The people in my life have a certain perspective of me. I’m a pretty reserved personality, and so writing these scenes would be something they wouldn’t even think I do, or can do. So there’s a barrier there for sure and I feel like I need to work on being more free and not so constrained and worried about what people will think. If anything hopefully they can just realize that what I’m trying to do by writing these scenes, is to craft a beautiful love story.

Hiatus Drama:

WHY???? Why does this ALWAYS happen to me. I can’t shake it. I’m consistent for a good duration and then my focus shifts. Slump? Lack of story direction? Editing is a tall order, and then editing and finding images too, I can be there for hours working on one post- Laziness? Boredom? Lack of time? Blog feeling oversaturated in one topic? Need for change up? Excuses? I’ve tried on all of them. And quite frankly they all suck. I do hope to stick to a more permanent, more consistent schedule next time. I can’t promise that the hiatus won’t ever happen again. Because it will. I know it will. But I can promise you that I will continue to write short stories and I will continue to finish them, no matter how long they may take me to do so. I know my style of writing and posting is probably a factor in this too. I do like the formula, it gives me the freedom to take my stories a lot of different ways, but sometime it created the freedom to stop writing, which is where things get murky. But the way I see it is, if I waited to write a whole series before posting, nothing would get posted.

Themes:

Justice vs. Injustice

Love vs. Lust

Right vs. Wrong

Head vs. Heart

Trusting strangers

Trust Issues

Friendship

Love

Loyalty

Fear

Running Away *from love, and from the law (hence…the title…On The Run)

Supporting Characters:

The Black Family- Megan, Daniel, and Simon

Even though we don’t see every detail about the Blacks, they fuel the greater story and main characters need friends, they need people to enhance their character and their story.

Tim Malloy- Represents Justice and is Charlie’s light in the justice system.

The Ending:

I have a tendency to do the quick wrap up ending. Everything all wrapped up in a bow. There’s a pressure (especially after a long hiatus) I put on myself to finish and so I feel like I resolve things quickly. Like all the Hallmark movies I complain about. I don’t not like the ending, I just think maybe it could have been better. I always think everything I write can be better. Nothing is ever perfect, because if it was there’d be no room to learn more.

The ending I chose wasn’t what I intended. There were ideas of having Sage get pregnant. There was another idea of having Charlie ask Sage to marry him. There was also an idea where Sage and Charlie were going to marry to not have to testify against each other in court.

However, I always end my stories with marriage and babies. For this particular story that ending just didn’t seem fitting. These two characters love each other, but still need to get to know each other.

Often times we worry that stories aren’t believable, could two people really fall in love in such a short amount of time. It’s so unrealistic. Is it? If we all trusted our hearts a little more, we’d probably let ourselves fall in love a lot sooner. Why waste time.

There’s a quote from one of my favorite movies that comes to mind-

“I barely know you. I don’t know your dad’s first name, I don’t know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses. I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner. But I know the curves of your face and I know every fleck of gold in your eyes…” –Steve, The Wedding Planner

*Written By: Pamela Falk, Michael Ellis

This right there is why you don’t need any explanation. The spark. It happens. In my stories it happens. Love happens. And I will always defend it, no matter how early, or unrealistic it may seem.

Missing Links:

Should Sage/Charlie’s back stories have been more in-depth/showcase throughout the story?

Family? Job? Home? $? Past relationships?

I kind of liked how both Sage and Charlie had this intense attraction and pull toward each other, but they were strangers who had to just figure each other out quickly. I like how they had kind of hidden identities up until the end where they decide starting over would be a good thing, and they offer their back grounds, upfront. I think that worked. Thoughts?

Should there have been more about Megan/Simon/Daniel?

Colors:

Blacks, Browns, Greens, Grays in clothing- camouflage to blend in.

Whites, yellows- in the hotel to show purity and simplicity, safety, security.

Red- blood, fear.

Final Comments:

With each short series I experiment writing, I learn something new. Each short story series is its own learning experience. And although there are many parallels and common themes that span across all of my short story series, featured here on this blog, I have also realized I’m growing my own style of writing and storytelling. I’m crafting my writer’s voice. Romance and a little bit of mystery seems to be my thing. And this series specifically is a murder mystery with a twist, not only in who committed the crime, but in the fact that a love blossomed during such a tragic time. Unconventional, unpredictable love. Also each story is a lesson in descriptive writing, were the scenes written well enough that you can picture them in your head. BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE- definitely something I need to work on for the next one.

So thank you for reading this commentary and for reading On The Run.

Until next time… (I already have some ideas for my next series…Stay Tuned!)

Catch up on “On The Run” from the beginning HERE

says goodbye

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits, or video clips used.*

 -<3-

Can’t Stop The Feeling

Dance Dance Dance …

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Ok so it’s been 3 years since Justin Timberlake has released new music. And I honestly have been so busy with life that I didn’t realize it actually had been that long. Time flies. Also his last tour lasted like 2 years, 2 albums, and I went to three of his shows, so I needed a fangirl vacation. #25goingon80 #ImAnOldLady #IStillCreepedHisSocialMediasTho #CuzDuh

But when Justin Timberlake starts throwing out sneaky hints just a few days before dropping new music, the fangirl in me is all ears. Not to mention the cryptic pics of him in the studio with big names and good friends like Timbaland, Pharrell, and Little Big Town.

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So here it goes … (Oh hey look we got a video!)


The song is called “Can’t Stop The Feeling” and is an original single from DreamWorks Animation’s “Trolls” movie soundtrack, which Timberlake has executive produced and will be voicing the character of “Branch.” (Soundtrack-September 23rd; Film November 2016.)

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Where can you get it?

http://justintimberlake.com/news/274733

How great is this song?

The song was released Friday, May 6th at midnight, or so I thought. I think it was leaked earlier, but I didn’t listen because I didn’t want to risk getting a bad version and spoiling it for myself. Other than Justin’s few teases, I waited it out.  But then I saw people reacting to it and Justin responding before midnight and I realized it was up on Justin’s website with all the ways to find it. So I previewed it on Spotify (Cuz I was dying to hear it!) and I immediately started grooving. It is a true dance theme, feel good, happy song. You can’t help but be happy and dance along. So my next step- iTunes, #downloaded.

 

I really didn’t have any doubt that I’d love it.

It’s uplifting, and soulful, and the lyrics are magical. Justin’s vocals are on point. #ThatFalsettoTho and that funky guitar riff…yesss!!! If you think this song isn’t your jam, give it a second. It’ll get to you. The chorus is so catchy and so good! It’s for sure going to be the Summer of 2016 anthem. I can just see little baby Silas dancing with his daddy to this song as he awaits the “Trolls” movie!

Once again, you did it.

Welcome Home, JT.

Doing what you do best, creating epic music.

Fangirl Status: On

And so it begins, my friends. Get Ready.

justin-timberlake-cant-stop-the-feeling-1[1]

 

*I do not take credit for any images, videos, or music used.*

Happy Birthday Justin Timberlake!

BLOG UPDATE-

So I was trying to slowly make Sundays my third upload day but I kinda fell short yesterday. I wanted to post something yesterday in honor of Justin Timberlake’s 35th Birthday, because I mean what kind of fangirl would I be if I didn’t. And since he’s not on tour or putting out an album, my fangirl posts have been lacking. But I got distracted the whole day, and then Grease: Live was on and I was hooked for 3 hours. By the time I started on my post, my internet and my computer decided to act up and I was trying to post before midnight but it just was an ongoing issue. So end result it was a failed mission. I am not going to rule out making Sundays my third post day, but I’m just going to see if it’s feasible. I’ll test the waters a bit this month. We’ll use February as a trial month for that and see how things go. Any way I’m still posting the Justin Tribute today (which was meant for Sunday,) but I will also be posting a review of Grease: Live a little later on, as an official Monday post. It’s going to take some time, because I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head about that one! Spoiler Alert: I am currently listening to the original movie’s soundtrack because my obsession with Grease has ignited. Anyway enough rambling…

jt bday

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Justin Timberlake has been my longest running obsession. I support him in basically everything he does, creatively. He is a true talent. [insert my cheesy instagram post]

HBDJT

***Some of my favorite JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE moments.***

Videos/Cinematography

Cry Me A River

What Goes Around…Comes Around

Mirrors

Tearin’ Up My Heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRKiftk6ffQ

 God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You

Gone

Songs/Lyrics

Lovestoned

Take Back The Night

You Got It On

I Want You Back

This I Promise You

Do Your Thing

Comedy skits

Movie scenes

Performances/Covers

Strawberry Bubblegum

Let the Groove Get In

Losing My Way

Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)

Photo-shoots/Posters/Fashion

I had these posters hanging on my wall!

Fashion Evolution

 Happiest of Birthdays JT.

Thanks for the memories!

cheers

Cheers to many more.

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any JT images, videos, clips, songs, etc. used in this blog.*

A Letter of Heartbreak from Adele

Sometimes I do this thing…Read and see if you can figure it out! 😉

adeleshell image

#AdeleShell

 

adeleshellimage3

 

Hello, it’s me. 

I miss you. I’ve been sitting in my Hometown Glory, Chasing Pavements trying to Make You Feel My Love.

Don’t You Remember? When We Were Young. How you were always my One And Only, My Remedy.

It feels like a Million Years Ago,  it saddens me you see.

Once upon a time, I Found a Boy one that would last, in love, a First Love, a gentleman.

If It Hadn’t Been For Love, I would have never been Hiding My Heart from you. Worried and scared to feel pain. I’d whisper to myself, He Won’t Go, he’d never leave. It’s okay.

Maybe I’m a Daydreamer. Maybe I’m Tired of feeling Crazy for You.

Rumour Has It, you’ve begun Turning Tables. All I Ask is that you keep an open mind, and consider the possibilities. Our love ain’t Water Under the Bridge, hold me like I’m more than just a friend.

Take It All, my Sweetest Devotion.

If it seems like something you cannot do, if you’re gonna let me down, let me down gently. I hope you have your memories.

Set Fire To The Rain watch it pour as I touch your face.

Give me a memory I can use.

To remind you of how I can no longer keep our Love in the Dark.

There is so much space between us.

But I’ll Be Waiting here patiently, singing you my Love Song.

We could have had it all, this I know.

But here I am, Rolling In The Deep upon the River Lea, I blame it on the River Lea.

All the memories.

I’ve saved the Best for Last to explain the Cold Shoulder, I’ve shown you in the past. I’ll share with you the worries the fears that turned into tears. The reasons that Melt My Heart to Stone.

My Same, my love, I wish to make things Right as Rain.

But we can’t go back, or so it seems. I pray for Someone Like You to walk into my world again, I bid you farewell with a kiss on the cheek.

As I courageously whisper Send My Love (To Your New Lover). Treat her better.

Love, Adele-Shell ❤

adeleshellimage2

#AdeleShell

 

Some Adele Inspired Selfies

[make-up , hair, and outfit]

#dontjudge 😉

 

Adele Make-Up Tips:

Create a somewhat “flawless” face, add bronzer & blush

Fill in your brows, brush them up

Winged dark black liner on lower and upper water line as well as several coats of mascara

Beige, nude, light brown eye shadows

Nude lipstick and gloss

Adele Hair Tips:

Use second day hair

Dry shampoo, mousse, & hairspray

Blow dry top center of head

Flip head over to blow dry

Tease crown

Flip head back over

Tousle with hands until you find desired look 

Adele Outfit Tips:

Black long sleeved shirt

Black furry/fuzzy vest

Faux Fur Scarf

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How many Adele song titles did you catch? Can we just talk about how purely amazing 25 is…I’ve had it on repeat since I downloaded it!

*I take no credit for the few Adele song lyrics, many song titles, and Adele images used in my edits to create this Adele 19, 21, & 25 album song titles mash-up/lyrical poem/short story. Whatever you want to call it. Haha.*

*I do however, take credit for all selfies 😉 haha.*

-<3-

 

 

Love Conflicted Soundtrack & Author’s Commentary

BACK STORY: Over the past 8 months or so Love Conflicted has been featured on and off the michelle leigh writes blog. Its premiere date was May 11th 2015, and the consistent updates lasted through June 25th 2015. Then I took a massive hiatus from the series. I finally got my act together in the New Year and finished it this week, finishing my stories is incredibly important to me, far too many go unfinished. It was important for me to see this through. Seeing as how I slipped up on this week’s schedule, I figured I’d give you a rare Sunday post, I am thinking about adding Sundays to the schedule, so that will put me at a 3 times a week schedule. However, it is to still be determined, if I can actually commit to that, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But I may do a trial run and see if it works out. As promised here is the Love Conflicted inspired “Soundtrack” and My Author’s Commentary.

DISCLAIMER: Love Conflicted is not a real motion picture nor does it have a soundtrack coming out. This is just me living in my fictional happy writer’s world. Where I pretend and where I run the show. Haha. Back in college whenever I would hand in a script or be working with already written material/feature film scenes, my professor would ask me who I would have play the characters, where would it take place, what location? And so I think that kind of stuck with me, because as I write this story series I want to include those aspects and give you a visual experience. Mysterious Attraction was my first shot at it, recently A Broken Heart For Christmas, and now also with Love Conflicted. Along the way there have been little one shots, or shorts including a few parts as I will. But that distinction is not always clear, I don’t always know how long a story is going to take to tell. As a kid I used to say “Make Pretend” all the time. Make Pretend you’re a princess who slays dragons. Make pretend you’re a ballerina who bull rides. Make pretend you’re writing a screenplay and you get to pick the actors, and release a soundtrack and commentary that people have been anxiously awaiting. The options could be endless. So let’s “Make Pretend.” Enjoy!

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OFFICAL FULL CAST PROMOTIONAL PHOTO RELEASED 😉

Official full cast photo movie poster

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**Love Conflicted** “Soundtrack”

Happy Listening!

ALBUM ARTWORK:

Love conflicted soundtrack

Track List

  1. “All In My Head”– Tori Kelly
  2. “I Know What You Did Last Summer”– Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
  3. “Revival”– Selena Gomez
  4. “Call of the Wild”– Bethany Joy Lenz
  5. “Water Under the Bridge”– Adele
  6. “The Last Time”– Taylor Swift Ft. Gary Lightbody
  7. “Sad Beautiful Tragic”-Taylor Swift
  8. “Blindness”– Justin Timberlake
  9. “What A Good Woman Does”– Joy Williams
  10. “Until the Levee”– Joy Williams
  11. “Stitches”– Shawn Mendes
  12. “I’ll Show You”– Justin Bieber
  13. “Please”– Bethany Joy Lenz
  14. “Stealing”– Gavin Degraw
  15. “When I Was Your Man”– Bruno Mars
  16. “It Will Rain”– Bruno Mars
  17. “The One That Got Away”– The Civil Wars
  18. “Disarm”– The Civil Wars
  19. “I’m A Mess”– Ed Sheeran
  20. “I See Fire”– Ed Sheeran
  21. “Maybe”– Everly-(Bethany Joy Lenz & Amber Sweeney)
  22. “You Found Me”– The Fray
  23. “Leave You Alone”– Kris Allen
  24. “Wanted You More”– Lady Antebellum
  25. “Lesson Learned”– Ray LaMontagne

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Onto the next portion…My Love Conflicted *Author’s Commentary*

GENERAL NOTES:

This drama series was rooted in the love story between two unlikely souls. Maggie an elementary school teacher and Ricky an undercover “mobster” who thought he was working for an honorable CIA organization that turned out to be corrupt. Maggie and Ricky meet by chance and experience an instant spark. The bulk of their relationship is rooted in sub context. You don’t really see much of their love in current time. You experience it through the occasional flashback, through the stories they share about each other, and through the intense conversations they have when are reunited for brief periods of time. You get to see their life together through images on Maggie’s phone as well.

Lily and Ian are introduced gradually. I always feel that my mind automatically goes to a minimum of a 4 person cast. The love story is there, boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy gets girl, boy screws up, boy tries to win girl back. And in the mist of all that the story has to keep going…enter supporting characters Ian and Lily. They’re budding love story is just a happy coincidence. Their story is one of a lighter more sarcastic, sassy and fun tone. In contrast to Maggie and Ricky’s love story which is no heartbreaking and so dramatically driven. The “I can’t breathe without you” feel is heavy for those too. Yet Ian and Lily keep things light and let’s be honest they are most comedy you’ll get here. Lily has her one liners that zing, doesn’t she?

Also the story lines Mob nod must be a trend, huh? [See Mysterious Attraction] Ode to Sonny Corinthos and General Hospital.

THEMES:

There are consistent themes of Love, Friendship, Trust, Fear, Bravery, Finding yourself, Coming into your own skin, Independence, Guilt, and ultimately rebuilding and waking each other up to inspire a better way of life. That goes for all characters and all forms of the relationships between these 4 people.

DREAM CASTING:

When I sat down with the first scene, it was somewhat of a scene that resembled the first part, where there was this back and forth between Ricky and a female character. You could tell she was angry with him and there was a very good reason, one that he was trying to make light of and gloss over with charm and his belief in their love. His belief that love could somehow help them overcome the catastrophic bomb he just dropped on her. i.e.: that he’s essentially a hit man. But I never really knew who these character would become and getting to know them and writing their dialogue and choosing how they would handle things, that’s been the most fun.

Ricky and Maggie

Ricky: Jesse Lee Soffer (I think he and Lenz would be magic on screen together!)

Ricky faces the blow back from years of horrifying assignments. He finally realizes that what he’s been doing hasn’t been for the better of his country. As he comes to grips with that reality he is faced with trying to protect the woman he loves in the mist of trying to out his corrupt boss, Cobbs. Ricky is a good hearted man, but his job has trained him to perceive himself as a villain of sorts. We never meet Cobbs but we don’t have to. His threat is there, it’s real and evident in Ricky’s fear. He’s almost like this mysterious ghost that looms over them, and we never know if he’s actually going to make his move. I wanted the threat and the fear to be real, without having to have some big reveal or altercation with the actual threat himself. I wanted to sway away from the route Mysterious Attraction took, of kidnappings, and hostage situations. Although the dangers were very similar, the main altercation was ultimately Ricky’s arrest and his choosing to let Maggie go, completely breaking her heart and his own.

 Maggie: Bethany Joy Lenz (She is my QUEEN…I can’t even tell you!)

Maggie is that girl that is so kind and beautiful and so full of hope and light that you just expect no one to ever hurt her. That and the fact that she closes herself off from any kind of risk. Therefore insuring herself she won’t get hurt. She’s the girl that is completely unaware of how amazing she is, and is timid in her sexuality. Meeting Ricky who instantly uses his charm and wit to convince her to take a risk makes her feel alive. The fact that he looks at her in a way that she’s never been looked at before, does wonders for her too. But with all that being said, Maggie comes into her own as she slowly realizes everyone around her is trying to coddle her. She hates feeling like a victim and chooses to take her life in her own hands, going after what she wants.

candice-lily

Lily: Candice Accola-King

If you know my writing, you know the best friend is always the sassy one. [See: Demi Lovato as Roxy in Mysterious Attraction.] I don’t know what it is. But I just feel like the best friend has to be this loose cannon who just speaks the truth. In many way Lily serves as the audience’s perspective. You know when you’re watching a movie or TV show and someone is doing something so stupid you just scream at the TV. Yea, well that’s Lily. She states what should appear as the obvious to the others actors in the story.

meet ian

Ian: Nick Wechsler

Ian is a sweet, calm guy. The voice of reason. Although he too has been involved in these high-stake illegal activities, his self-awareness is much further along than Ricky’s. He knows how to separate himself from his corruption leader of a boss, and knows that his actions were a product of being coerced and trained for years. He also has had a bit more distance than Ricky, as Ricky was made a leader in the organization and felt the brunt of things toward the end, Ian was more of fixer of things, the driver, a tying up loose ends guy. Ian was the one who has been by Ricky’s side, the one who would sacrifice for the wellbeing of everyone. He’s heroic. But it’s a quiet heroism. You don’t realize how self-less he is right off the bat. He’s also got his own charm. His flirtation isn’t as blunt as Ricky’s when it comes to the ladies. He’s a quiet compliment-er, he observes Lily and her nature. He uses what he learns to draw her in and to connect with her. He genuinely speaks his mind and although he goes along with Lily’s sassy flirtation he is completely obvious about his intention to fall in love with her.

-The exclusion of voiceover, the implementation of inner thoughts-

This wasn’t consistent throughout the story. It started off with Maggie’s inner thoughts because she was dealing with a lot on her own, so we had to hear her thoughts. Once Lily was introduced those thoughts were reflected in the dialogue between those two characters as we experienced her pain through the things she confided in her friend.

-The Evolution of relationships-

Friendship-

“Laggie”

lily and maggie bffs

It’s evident that Lily and Maggie have been friends their whole lives. Lily is Maggie’s rock. She is the one to look out for her. Let’s face it she has no filter and will test anyone who tries to cause Maggie any pain.

“Rian”

ricky and ian bffs

Throughout the story we see Ricky deal with the consequences of his actions. We see him deal with having to suffer through causing Maggie so much pain. Ian is someone who is brought in to remain the calm, cool, collected person, he’s cool under pressure. He serves as the voice of reason and as Ricky’s eyes, when he can’t be there for Maggie. The one who is Ricky’s right hand man, and will sacrifice to help him in anyway. They have been partners forever, but their friendship is their first priority. They have each other’s backs, always.

Romantic-

“Illy”

ian and lily kiss

Ian passed Lily’s bluster…

When Lily and Ian meet it’s kind of a comedic moment. Rare for this series, but it serves as a breath of fresh air. We see Lily’s sassy nature at its best, and we see that even the most stoic of men can be instantly distracted by a beautiful and alluring woman. Lily is the way she is due to a recent heartbreak. Ian takes his time to court her, proving to her that he’s worth it. Lily’s calm and collected not to mention sassy nature is her defense mechanism. Ian gets to her, with his innocent yet somewhat obvious flirtations.

“Micky”

falling (2)

Took a while, but the love was always there

 

The main love story is set between Maggie and Ricky. Maggie lives a plain life, a routine life. A life of rules. Ricky follows his own set of rules. When their worlds collide, opposites attract and they find something in each other that compliments them as individuals. Things they have been looking for all along. Ricky instills adventure and confidence in Maggie’s life, showing her how amazing she is while trying to keep a light hearted sexy tone to their conversations. He’s definitely got a bit of a problem with telling her what to do, because he’s so afraid to lose her. His overprotective nature does cost him at times. While, Maggie instills belief, love and stability in Ricky’s life. Bringing a sense of realism to life, showing him that his criminal past isn’t what defines him. Ricky and Maggie have a back and forth that is evident. There is always a high level of tension, because they are always drawn to each other even though they both experience their reservations about being together. Regardless the love is always there.

-What I’ve learned about my writing, and need to work on for my next series and future projects-

TIPS:

*Write the series (or at least the bulk of it) in advance before posting.

Posting as I go makes it hard for me to stay motivated at times and makes it hard to remember where I left off. Which can cause continuity issues and timeline confusions.

*Keep note of the timeline and realize that not everyone can see it as clearly as you can.

This story has taken place over the course or nearly 1 ½-2 years. In real time we see about a year of it. But Maggie and Ricky have had an ongoing relationship for nearly 2 years. They were together for about 6 months before she found out about his job. 6 months he was able to hide and act like a normal boyfriend, but on the sly. Lily was the only one who truly knew they were an actual couple. To the outside world they seemed friendly. When Maggie finds out about Ricky’s job she pulls away. As Ricky begins to fight for her-coming full force to win her back. Maggie thinks she’s pregnant and worries Ricky’s lifestyle will cause her and her child pain. Their relationship moves quickly, as Ricky had revealed they said their “I love you’s” a week after dating. The separation/reuniting period is on and off for a while, and then after Ricky’s arrest, we jump 6 months ahead which allude to the growth these characters have made. In that time Ian and Lily have started their own romance and seem to be smitten with each other. Ricky spent his time getting well, and Maggie spent her time being in her own skin. Although the time apart was painful for both of them, they made it back to each other in the end, better than they were before, with a promising future ahead of them.

*Learn how to implement backstory better.

I feel like the little facts like Maggie’s a school teacher and Lily suffered a bad relationship could have been better thought out and more implemented throughout the story’s entirety. I need to be careful of that next time.

*Describe location, outfits, appearance more thoroughly, paint a picture for the audience. Where are they, what does it look like? Just because I see it, doesn’t mean you do.

*Learn to sus out the basis of the story before I post.

This can be hard because I often don’t know where the story will go. I may have a vague idea, but then as I’m writing the direction can change in an instant.

*Be more consistent and stick to a solid posting schedule.

I usually post on Mondays and Thursdays every week. For a while this series was all I featured on my blog, and then I kind of felt like I needed to regroup and give other categories on my blog some love. But then the series kind of took a really long break and it was hard to get back into, I just kept putting it off.

*Do research BEFORE you post.

With the crime/legal issues/mob story lines there are certain clauses and lingo and statures that go with that type of plotline. I feel like I didn’t know much about what the CIA does and that caused a problem as I wrote Ricky’s character. I would research as I went which I think that caused some inconsistencies and some weirdness. I did my best, hopefully it came across accurately enough.

*Don’t be afraid of sexual content and more explicit language. And don’t apologize.

I think this is a big one for me to learn. I find myself putting warnings and disclaimers before any chapters that contain more adult matters. Sex is a part of relationships and loving someone, and telling a love story. Cursing is part of heated conversation and gives a line a more dignified delivery. In this series, I definitely explored a more adult style of writing. I usually edit myself when it comes to love scenes, because I feel like it may be perceived as slutty or trashy, and I’m still trying to learn how to write an effective love scene. But I think with this series I’m breaking out of my shell slowly. I am 24, so I mean come on now, the things on TV and in the theaters now, would make my Maggie and Ricky measly shower sex scene seem like a Disney Channel movie.

*Write more like a script, then a novel.

This is something that I’ve noticed. I want the series to be read like a movie, and yet I’m writing and reading it like a short story. Formatting definitely needs work.

*Step up your editing images game, and use the slideslow option more often.

I don’t have image editing software on my computer. I actually found a way to edit images through Microsoft, but some edits come out SO BAD. Lol. Some come out pretty good. I’ve definitely gotten better since the Mysterious Attraction days, but I can only imagine the images I could create if I actually had Photoshop! Sometimes I’ll edit an image and it’ll come out pretty good and I will just get so excited. Seeing my characters come together like that makes it almost seem real. Oh just let me live. Let me dream! 😉 WordPress just added the slideshow option (or I just realized they had one) and it makes things so much neater, you can add captions and watch the story unfold like a mini movie. I love it!

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So there you have it guys, as this post goes up, we say Good Bye to this series, and plan for the next one. I’m excited! Thank you for reading, and congrats if you had the patience to stay tuned until the end! 😉

 

Love conflicted says good bye finished

Catch up on Love Conflicted HERE

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 12

Hey guys….Only January and I already dropped the ball on my Tues/Thurs schedule. I think I underestimated how much time and thought needed to be put into the end of Love Conflicted. That and the fact that I’ve been easily distracted lately. The internet is a vortex I get lost in.

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Mood.

Anyway, that last part just wasn’t quite ready to post, but it is now! Without further hesitation… Stay Tuned for the exciting conclusion (Part 12) of Love Conflicted

New poster

#dreamcasting

Previously on Love Conflicted…

Read Part 11 HERE

Start from the beginning/Get caught up HERE

new poster illy

#dreamcasting

 

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Hauled up in a familiar old abandoned house, Ricky sits working on his computer as he taps into the surveillance system of a nearby bar, Ricky once took Maggie here some time ago back when Maggie thought she couldn’t handle having a life with him.

Ricky: We’re in. We’ve got eyes on the interior, all exits and side streets of the underground operation.

Ian nods as he stands over a small table sifting through some audio equipment.

Lily and Maggie emerge from a smaller room off to the side, both dressed rather promiscuous.

Ricky looks up. Ian’s jaw drops.

Ricky: No. Absolutely not.

Maggie: Ricky, you want this to be believable right?

Ricky: Yea of course, but that doesn’t mean you have to dress like that.

Maggie: (hands on her hips) What kind of girls do you think these guys get walking through their doors? No self-respecting, modestly dressed woman is going to show their face there for a cocaine score. It’s all ladies of the street.

Ian: She’s not wrong.

Ricky glares at Maggie.

Ricky: Baby, I love you. And you can totally dress like that for me another night- preferably away from any other wandering eyes- and I will welcome it, because you look sexy as hell. But I don’t think you realize how bad these guys actually are. I don’t want you near any of them dressed like that. It’s way too vulnerable. They’ll just see you as something to take advantage of.

Maggie: Well how do you know they’re all bad? You and Ian aren’t.

Ian and Ricky exchange looks.

Ricky: Maggie, this isn’t Cobbs version of the CIA we’re trying to bust here. All those people are a lot like us, they’ve been brainwashed into thinking they’re protecting the security of our country. We’re dealing with the real deal guys here. They don’t care. They won’t even blink at the slightest sign of humanity. They’re the cold ones. This drug ring is Cobbs’ most prized possession, this is where the big cash rolls in. We get this stuff on record, the police will have no choice but to arrest him and everyone involved.

Lily: Wait a minute, I thought you already had something major on Cobbs that could put him away? Remind me why you’re allowing both myself and the love of your life to risk our lives and enter the danger zone.

Maggie: Lily…?

Lily: No. Look I’m sorry okay-I don’t mind helping-But I think it deserves some kind of explanation. This whole time everything you’ve done was to protect us from being in danger. And now you are literally putting us right in the middle of it.

Ian: What we have is good. But how we got it- is illegal.

Maggie and Lily exchange glances.

Ricky: I was finally able to hack into a database holding several files regarding legal cases, some date as far back as 20 years ago. A bunch of sealed files of crime cases Cobbs should have done time for. But judges covered up for Cobbs for years, if you throw enough money at people, problems can vanish, like that (he snaps his fingers.) With all the shots against us already, if Ian and I have any chance of actually passing this off as evidence that will hold up in court, we need something current, something concrete.

Ian: Something obtained naturally. If we go to the Cops as is, we’re bound to get arrested for working under Cobbs for all these years.

Lily: It’s still really risky if you ask me.

Ian: We’ll have eyes on you the whole time. You’ll wear wires. We’re right here, if trouble starts, we’ll know. We’ll be in there in seconds.

Lily: And what if we get made, what if these guys sense we’re moles? It takes a second to pull a trigger.

Maggie: Lily?

Ricky: No. She’s right. What the hell was I thinking?

Maggie: Ricky.

Ricky: No. It’s the truth. We need a new plan. Now.

Maggie: Ok… come with me.

Maggie grabs his hand and drags him into the next room.

Ian and Lily exchange glances.

Lily: I’m sorry, I’m not trying to mess with the plan- but it had to be said.

Ian: I get it. It’s a completely valid concern.

Lily: Thank you for understanding.

Ian: You don’t ever have to apologize for who you are. Not with me.

Lily gives him a small smile.

Ian: You know we would never have asked if we thought we couldn’t protect you.

Lily: No I know. But sometimes things don’t always go as planned ya know? Maggie has been through hell, I just want her to be okay.

Ian: We all do. But you’re right. Regardless, I would never let anything happen to either of you. I can have you in and out in a matter of minutes.

*****************

Most of the furniture is all dusty and covered in sheets still. The layer of dust slightly heavier than the last time. The floor creakier, the quiet slightly more eerie. And the dimly lit rooms, seem to be getting darker by the second as the deep night falls upon them.

Ricky: Maggie, baby I’m so sorry. I had no right to ask you to be any part of this.

Maggie: Hey. Stop it. I’m glad that you’re finally keeping me in the loop.

Ricky: But Lily’s right. Everything I’ve done, all the pain I’ve caused, all the days we had to spend a part was because I was trying to keep you safe- keep you away from this world. I never wanted my job to affect you.

Maggie: Hey. (She reaches for him and he pulls away) Hey come here, (pulling him to her) Look at me, I’m fine. Lily’s just being her overprotected self, it’s why we love her.

Ricky: Yea I know. She is right. I’ve got you going into the thick of it. I don’t want you anywhere near this.

Maggie: Ricky you have no other choice. If you and Ian go in there, you’re as good as dead. You know that they’ll recognize you and they’ll know your there to take them down.

Ricky: Better me then you.

Maggie glares at him.

Maggie: Don’t.

Ricky looks at her, his eyes filling.

Ricky: Do you remember when you found out about my job? Do you remember how you looked at me? With disdain. Like you hated me.

Maggie: I was upset and shocked. You had been lying to me for months. It was just a knee jerk reaction.

Ricky: You wouldn’t even let me touch you. You were afraid of me.

Maggie: I was afraid of what could happen if I let myself love you. Because in spite of everything I still did. I still do. (She kisses the corner of his lips.)

Ricky looks at her, he gives in, kissing her for a brief moment.

Ricky: You were right to be afraid of me. I don’t deserve you, I never did.

Ricky pulls away from her, walking off to the side.

*Flashback* (Over a year ago)

Maggie is in a darkened warehouse. She walks through aimlessly. Searching for something. For an answer. She hears angry voices and yelling, she hides behind a few stacks of boxes.

She recognizes one of the male voices.

Maggie peers out and sees Ricky standing there.

Ricky is yelling at a scruffy, dingy dressed, bearded man.

The man holds up his hands.

“Don’t make a move, or I will blow your head off.” Ricky says in crisp cold tone.

Maggie’s eyes widen as she watches in fear. Unknowingly holding her breath.

The man begins to plead with Ricky for his life.

He impulsively reaches for his gun.

Ricky shoots him, point blank, without blinking.

Maggie stands there frozen.          

Ricky there before her, standing over the dead body. Blood seeping into the ground.

Ricky signs. His glare intense. He lowers his gun.

Just then his phone buzzes. Ricky answers, holding the phone to his ear.

“It’s done. Send in the cleanup crew.”

Ricky hangs up the phone. Turning he sees Maggie standing there.

Her face full of fear, her eyes full of tears, her body frozen, yet shaking.

Ricky’s eyes widen as he makes a move toward her.

Maggie steps back, her face growing from confused fear to complete terror.

“Maggie…” he whispers, his heart dropping.

Maggie turns and begins to run.

Ricky holsters his gun and rushes after her.

Maggie makes it to an exit door and bursts through it. Her heart pounding, her breathing sporadic.

Ricky runs through seconds later his eyes searching for her.

“Maggie. Maggie, baby, I can explain.” He walks toward her, reaching for her.

“Don’t touch me!” she screams.

“Maggie, please.”

“Who are you?” she says looking at him with disdain.

“I’m still me.”

“No you’re not. You’re not. The man I fell for was charming, and sweet and had the kindest eyes.”

“Baby I still am that guy. I just have a different job description.”

“Which is what? What possible job could you have that would condone you killing a man in cold blood?”

Ricky looks away.

Maggie’s wheels begin to turn.

“You’re a mobster?” she asks coming to a realization.

Ricky’s eyes fall. He knows he doesn’t want to lie to her any more than he already has, yet he knows he can’t risk telling her the truth just yet. So he just doesn’t answer, and lets her make her own conclusion.

“So what- you just go around killing people, who what- “do you wrong?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that. I don’t exactly make the final call. I have a boss.”

Maggie looks at him. Her hands still trembling.

Ricky notices.

He steps toward her, reaching for her. “You’re shaking…”

He manages to pull her close to him, cupping her face with his hand.

“No,” she pushes him away. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want you touching me ever again!”

Maggie turns as she begins to walk away quickly from him into the night.

Ricky rushes after her.

“Maggie. I know this is a lot to take in. But you just need time to cool down. Then we can talk and try to figure things out.”

“Cool down? I just watched you kill a man. I’m not going to forget that. Everything isn’t going to just be okay. Not after this. If you thought that it would, you must be delusional.”

“Maggie…”

“Don’t. Just don’t.” she says crying “You’re a completely different person to me now.”

Ricky hangs his head, his eyes tearing up.

“I used to feel safe in your arms. And now-” Maggie stops looking around, wrapping her arms around her body, trying to protect herself.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me Maggie. I would never hurt you.”

“How can someone who has held my hand and kissed me and touched me in the most graceful, caring ways, use the same pair of hands to pull the trigger and kill a man without even flinching.”

“I’ve been trained to be a certain way for the job…but that’s not all I am.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to hear anymore. As far as I’m concerned it’s just another excuse.”

“Maggie please. This can’t be it for us.”

“That poor man. What could he have possibly done, to deserve… that?”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“And I don’t wanna know. This relationships over.”

“Maggie…” he grabs her arm.

“Let go of me. Or I will scream and draw attention to the criminal you are.”

Maggie glares at him.

Ricky steps back, her words a blow to his heart.

Maggie still a shaky mess tries to walk away. She gets a few inches away before doubling over and vomiting.

Ricky rushes over, holding her hair back.

“Okay. You’re okay. I think everything has been a bit of a shock to your system.”

Maggie wipes her mouth and stands up, swatting him away.

“I’m going home. Don’t follow me. And do me a favor. Lose my number.”

Ricky looks at her pain etched on his face.

“I know you hate me right now. I get it. But at least let me drop you home. It’s late.”

“So what? All bad guys are the same. You should know that.”

Maggie walks away.

“Take the ride as offered. Or I will throw you over my shoulder and make you take it.”

Maggie stops and looks at him.

“You don’t get to play the over protective boyfriend role right now.”

“Maggie. It’s just a ride home. I promise. I’ll drop you home, and I’ll leave.”

Maggie and Ricky’s eyes lock for a minute. Ricky can almost see a touch of consideration in Maggie’s expression. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

Until the exit door opens and Ian stands there.

Ian: Rick. We need you.

Ricky turns.

Ricky: 5 minutes.

Ricky turns back toward Maggie, and she’s gone.

Ricky looks around. He angrily punches the door in.

-End of flashback-

Ricky: I remember feeling like my whole world exploded that night. I really thought I’d never see you again.

Maggie: Well, here I am. And I love you even more than I did back then.

Ricky: Why?

Maggie: What do you mean why?

Ricky: Why do you love me? I mean you said it once before, I’m a criminal…all bad guys are the same.

Maggie glances at him sternly.

Maggie: Come on. I was reacting to seeing my boyfriend kill a man. I didn’t know the full story.

Ricky: Like the full story is any better. Either way you paint it, I still spent my life killing.

Maggie: You thought you were protecting people from the bad guys. And you were, I mean it’s not as if any of the people you had to kill lived an honest life. Especially since they were all involved with Cobbs in some way.

Ricky: You don’t need to justify my actions. I was wrong. It’s okay to admit that. I never had to kill anyone. I made a choice to believe I had to.

Maggie: You didn’t know your boss was a fraud and a sociopath who was brainwashing you.

Ricky looks away.

Maggie: Hey. (She cups his face) You are a good man. With a good heart. You are. If you weren’t we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The real bad guys have no remorse for their actions.

Ricky: When you say it, I actually almost believe it.

Maggie: Believe it, baby.

Ricky: I never did know how you ended up in the warehouse that day?

Maggie: I followed you. I felt like you had been kind mysteriously leaving our dates abruptly and all the calls you’d take outside away from earshot. Initially I kind of thought you were cheating.

Ricky: Are you kidding me? I could never want anyone but you. (He says cupping her face with both of his hands.)

Maggie: I knew something was up with you. I just thought cheating could have been a possibility.

Ricky: Bet you kind of wish that’s all it was, huh? Would have made your life a whole lot easier. I mean sure my character would have been questioned but not so catastrophically. Cheating can’t put you in jail.

Maggie: No. But it would have made me question if you love me. Job or no job. I now know you do.

Ricky: Do you know how much I love you?

Maggie: Yes. (She smiles) Almost as much as I love you.

Ricky: Not possible. (He smiles softly as he pulls her into a kiss.)

*****************

Ian and Lily walk in.

Lily: So. Are we doing this thing?

Ricky: No. We’re not. I am.

Maggie looks at him.

Maggie: Ricky, no.

Ricky: I can’t let you go in there. I won’t. They think I’m dead. We still have a bit of an edge. It’ll be fine. I’ll get in, get what we need, something concrete and physical. And get out.

Ian: Let’s get wired up then.

Ian tosses a mic pack to Ricky as he begins hooking on his own.

Ricky: What are you doing?

Ian: I’m going with you.

Ricky: No you’re not.

Ian looks at him.

Maggie: You’d don’t actually think you’re going in there alone do you?

Ricky: Yes. I am. I won’t put any more people’s lives in danger.

Maggie: Ricky.

Ian: Rick, Dude. Things will go a lot smoother if you let me help you.

Ricky: You’ve helped me enough Ian. I’ve got this one.

Ricky goes to walk toward the exit.

Maggie stops him, by walking in front of his path and placing her hand on his chest.

Maggie: Either you let Ian go with you, or I’m going in.

Ricky: You going in isn’t an option anymore.

Maggie looks at him, turning on her heel, she rushes toward the door.

Ricky and the gang rush after her.

Ricky grabs her back in, closing the door behind her.

Ricky: Are you out of your mind?

Maggie: Are you?

Rick gives her a stern glare.

Maggie: Haven’t you leaned you can’t tell me what to do. Don’t test me Ricky. I am my own person with my own brain. I know what I can and can’t handle.

Ian: Rick, man. Let me just go in with you.

Ricky: Fine. But neither of you leave this house, you hear me? And the minute we leave you lock this door.

Maggie: Deal.

Lily nods.

Ian grabs his coat.

Ricky and Ian head towards the door.

Maggie: Ricky.

Ricky turns.

Maggie’s eyes begin to fill up.

Maggie: In and out. Okay?

Ricky nods, walking swiftly over to her, he grabs her and kisses her.

Ricky: I love you.

Maggie: I love you.

Ian and Lily look on.

Lily’s eyes lock onto his.

Lily: Be safe in there.

Ian: I do owe you a date.

Lily: That’s right.

Ian smiles leaning in, he kisses her cheek.

Ricky and Ian walk toward the door.

Lily: Hey Ricky, I’m sorry for-

Ricky: No. Don’t be. You were right. It’s nice to know that no matter what you’re always looking out for Maggie.

Lily smiles.

Ricky: We’ll be back.

Rick grabs Maggie’s hand and kisses it, before he leaves.

Lily locks the door behind them.

Maggie rushes over to the computer screen to watch the surveillance.

*******************

Ian and Ricky knock on the back door of the bar.

Three quick knocks. Two slow knocks. A secret knock.

The door opens and a dark skinned man stands there.

Man: Can I help you? He barks.

Ricky: Yea we’re looking for Cobbs.

Man: Yea. What you want with him?

Ricky: We heard this is the place to score some prime C.

Man: You have the money.

Ricky pulls a few hundreds from his back pocket and holds them up.

The man takes it with one hand, and in one swift move, he slaps a handcuff on Ricky’s wrist with the other.

Ricky’s face falls.

Man: FBI you’re under arrest.

The man turns Ricky around as he cuffs his other hand behind his back.

Another cop emerges from the door and handcuffs Ian.

As Ricky and Ian exchange nervous glances, they peer into the underground room. It’s under a complete investigation, crawling with police tape and officers logging evidence.

Ricky: Don’t say a word, Ian. I’ll handle this.

Maggie and Lily watch on horrified.

Maggie rushes for the door.

Lily: Stop. You can’t you don’t want to be an accessory, just wait it out. Let’s get out of these trashy clothes and we’ll meet them at the station okay?

Maggie sighs as tears stream down her face.

Lily: Hey. Don’t let your mind run wild just yet. Ok? We’re gonna be ok, I promise you.

Maggie: How do you know that?

Lily: Because we always are.

Lily pulls her into a side hug.

**************

Maggie and Lily rush into the local precinct.

Maggie walks up to the front desk.

Maggie: Excuse me, I’m looking for Ricky Roman.

Lily taps her, as two cops escort Ian and Ricky into the station.

Ricky’s eyes land on Maggie.

Maggie: Ricky! She rushes over to him.

A female desk sergeant stops her.

Desk Sergeant: I’m going to have to ask you to take a seat. He’s got to go through the process.

Maggie: When are visiting hours?

Desk Sergeant: Not until tomorrow morning.

Maggie’s face drops as her tears fall more freely.

Lily reaches for her.

Ricky notices from afar.

Ricky: Baby. Baby. It’s ok.

The officers shove him into an interrogation room. And Ian into a separate one.

Hours go by and Lily and Maggie sit nervously in the waiting area, completely exhausted at this point, and looking for answers.

Maggie gets up and walks over to the front desk.

Maggie: Excuse me, it’s been hours, can you please tell me anything about what’s going on with my boyfriend. What’s he being charged with?

Desk Sergeant: Name?

Maggie: His name is Ricky Roman. I just asked you about him a few minutes ago, are you deaf or just a victim of shitty short term memory?

The woman glares up at her.

Desk Sergeant: Would you like to spend your night in a cell too?

Lily jumps up and rushes over.

Lily: Ok. Alright. That won’t be necessary. It’s just the stress talking, (she says swaying Maggie back over to their seats.)

Maggie: I can’t take not knowing what’s happening?

Lily: Look I understand ok? This sucks from all ends. But you have got to calm down.

Lily and Maggie fall asleep in the chairs.

******************

The next morning a male officer taps Maggie on the shoulder.

Maggie wakes up and nudges Lily awake.

Officer: Are you here for Ricky Roman?

Maggie: Yes.

Officer: You can see him now.

Maggie: Oh thank god.

She stands up in a hurry.

Lily: And Ian- oh my god I don’t even know his last name, (She reflects.)

Ian comes walking out from a nearby back room.

Lily and Maggie’s eyes shoot up.

Maggie: Hey are you okay?

Ian: Yea. Thanks.

Maggie: Where’s Ricky?

Officer: This way ma’am.

Maggie looks on worried as the officer ushers her into the back.

Lily turns to Ian.

Lily: What’s going on?

Ian: They let me go.

Lily: And Ricky?

Ian: He took the blame for everything.

Lily: And you let him?

Ian: I had no choice. He made me promise that if we ever got arrested, that I let him take the wrap, and I keep Maggie safe.

Lily looks on with worried eyes.

Maggie follows the officer to a hall full of cells.

Guys are cat calling as Maggie walks by.

Officer: Enough.

They simmer down.

They reach a cell all the way at the end, sectioned off.

Ricky sits there his head in his hands.

Maggie: Ricky!

Ricky’s head jolts up.

He rushes to the gate.

The officer unlocks the gate and opens it for Maggie to walk in.

Closing it behind them.

Officer: You have 10 minutes.

He walks away.

Maggie: Ricky!

She rushes into his arms.

Ricky: God I am so glad you’re not in that outfit.(he tries to laugh and make light of things) This place is full of slime.

Maggie: Ricky. What’s going on?

Ricky pauses. He cups her face and kisses her for a minute.

Maggie: Talk to me. Please.

Ricky: The FBI has been watching Cobbs for the past few months. They knew what type of operation he’s been running. They know Ian and I worked for him. Cobb’s underground operation was raided minutes before we showed up. All his workers and Cobbs himself are in custody. We got him. He’s going away for a long long time.

Maggie: And what about you? I mean they released Ian, so that means they’ll release you soon too, right?

Ricky: No.

Maggie: What do you mean no?

Ricky: Maggie I’m being charged.

Maggie: With what? You didn’t work for that part of Cobbs’ operation. 

Ricky: Yea but, I was involved in everything else under the sun.

Maggie: Well did you tell them the whole story? Did you tell them everything? Why you did what you did?

Ricky: Somehow they just don’t care. As far as they know I worked for Cobbs for years and I knew all along.

Maggie: But you didn’t.

Ricky shrugs.

Maggie: We can fight this. We’ll get you the best lawyer.

Ricky: It doesn’t matter babe.

Maggie: So what you’re not gonna fight it?

Ricky: I belong in here.

Maggie looks at him in disbelief.

Maggie: How long?

Ricky: 10 to 15. And that’s with a deal for cooperating.

Maggie doubles over as she suddenly feels like she had the air knocked out of her.

Maggie’s tears fall, as Ricky pulls her into him, he looks into her eyes. Wiping away her tears.

Maggie pulls herself together as she tries to think positively.

Maggie: Ok. Ok, I know it’s a long time. But we can make it worth. I can come see you…all the time. And when you get out we can be together.

Ricky smiles, touching her face and staring at her lovingly.

Maggie searches his face for some kind of reassurance.

Ricky’s face frowns.

Maggie: What?

Ricky: Maggie…I love you so much…But-

Maggie: But what- there is no but, you love me, and I love you.

Ricky: Maggie…

Maggie: No. No don’t Maggie me.

Ricky reaches for her.

Maggie: When this is all over with, we can be together. I mean that’s what the whole deal was, wasn’t it? We stay apart while you gather the information you need to get him put away. Am I missing something here? Am I crazy? Or is that not what you told me. What you kept telling me.

Ricky: No, you’re not crazy. That was the initial plan.

Maggie: Ok so what changed?

Ricky: Maggie I love you more than I did yesterday, and more than the day before that, and I can promise you that I will love you even more tomorrow. But this whole thing just made me realize that… maybe… we’re not the best fit. You’re better off without me. And I’m going to prison.

Maggie: So I can wait for you.

Ricky: I don’t want you to. That’s not a life.

Maggie’s eyes gloss over and her stare turns cold.

Maggie: Don’t you dare.

Ricky: Maggie, baby. You need to let me go.

Maggie: You asshole.

Ricky: Baby please-

Maggie: Don’t. You are full of empty promises. You make me wait on you this whole time, when you really didn’t even have any intention of following through. Did you want to get caught? Did you wish for this? Is it some kind of sick version of self-punishment, because you think this is where you deserve to be?

Ricky: Of course I intended to be with you. I never wanted to hurt you, you have to know that. But what kind of man would I be if I didn’t answer for my crimes.

Maggie: Wow you can put on quite a show. Was I part of your cover too? Just the mobster with a heart of gold who falls for the little timid elementary school teacher. Right?

Ricky: Of course not. I have always been honest about how I feel about you.

Maggie: Right, because honesty is your specialty.

Ricky: Maggie.

Maggie: You don’t wanna be with me. Fine. Just own up to it.

Ricky: Maggie. That is not what this is about, and you know it. I love you so much. And I love you enough to let you go.

Maggie: And I just don’t get a say in this? You’re just gonna choose what’s best for me…again?

Ricky: Maggie I can’t gamble with your life again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you spent your life waiting on me. You can’t put it on hold because of my stupid mistakes.

Maggie: (tears are rolling down her cheeks as she keeps wiping them away) Fine. But this is it. You don’t get third and fourth chances. Not with me. You’re lucky you got a second. And now that’s all irrelevant. I don’t want you keeping tabs on me, I’m sure you have ways of doing that even though you’re in here. You don’t want this? Fine.Have it your way. Guard, we’re done here, (She says yelling from the cell.)

Ricky: Wait Maggie, will you just let me explain…

Maggie: Guard.

Maggie leaves without another word.

Knowing that he just made the biggest mistake in his life, Ricky sinks to the floor of his cell.

Maggie collapses to the floor in sobs in the waiting room as Lily rushes to her side.

Ian walks over to the side, he makes a call.

*****************

*6 Months Later*

It’s Maggie’s 25th birthday and Lily is throwing her a party. It’s been 6 months since Ricky was arrested.

The party is full of glitter and glam, champagne is being popped and poured. The DJ is alive with energy and the food is circling. People are mingling and the room is in party mode.

Maggie stands admiring her best friend’s handiwork.

lily and maggie bffs

Maggie: Lily this is amazing! Thank you so much.

Lily: Well with all the craziness that has gone down recently, you deserved this.

Maggie smiles and pulls her friend into a hug.

Lily notices Ian walk in with a familiar face. Her eyes widen as she pulls away from her hug with her best friend.

ricky and ian bffs

Maggie notices.

Maggie: What?

Ricky walks up behind her.

Ricky: Hey Maggie. Happy Birthday.

Maggie stills hearing his voice.

Maggie: (turning) What are you doing here?

Ricky: I was invited.

Maggie looks over at a scheming Lily and Ian who watch eagerly.

Maggie gives Lily a death glare.

Lily just holds her hands out with a shrug of her shoulders.

Maggie: Were you now?

Ricky nods.

Maggie: Excuse me, for just a second.

Maggie walks quickly over to Lily.

Ian: Good Luck see ya.

Ian ducks out over to the bar.

Maggie: Are you crazy? You invited Ricky to my birthday party?

Lily: Hey I just did what you couldn’t do. You obviously miss him.

Maggie: That’s not the point.

Lily: Ok so then what is the point, Maggie? Because you are miserable. I know you’ve been trying to hide it but I know you, and it’s killing me to see you this way.

Maggie: (sighs) I love you for caring about me, I do. But I am not the one who ended things Lily. He was. Do you know how difficult it is to look at him, let alone talk to him? And on my birthday of all days. God, I just-

Lily: You ever think that maybe he regrets his decision?

Maggie: If he did, he would have reached out over the past 6 months. It’s not like he was in jail that long, Ian’s lawyer had him out in a matter of days.

Lily: You told him not to reach out.

Maggie: And he listened. If he wanted me, he would have fought for me.

Lily: He’s here, isn’t he?

Maggie: Yea only because you invited him.

Lily: I don’t think I’m the one you should be talking to about this.

Ricky walks up behind Maggie.

Ricky: I think she’s right.

Maggie turns.

Lily: I’m gonna go find my man. Good luck, (she pats Ricky on the shoulder, walking off to where Ian stands by the bar.)

Ricky: Can we talk?

Maggie: (shrugging) I guess so.

Ricky: Maybe we can go somewhere a little more private?

Maggie: You want me to leave my own party? Sure why not. (She walks off into the hallway of the party venue.)

Ricky: I came here, because I needed you to know-

Maggie: Why did you do it? How could you do it? Did you think about it? What it would do to me? Because I have replayed our entire relationship over in my head a thousand times, over the past 6 months, and I still can’t fathom how you could just walk away. I know I couldn’t. But you left me no choice. So I wanna know. Did you think about it? How you just decided for me. You just decided my fate without even asking me. You broke my heart, just because you could.

Ricky: That is not how it happened.

Maggie: No?

Ricky: No.

Maggie: You promised me things Ricky. I waited for you. And then when things got tough you just bailed on me, throwing away everything we built.

Ricky: I can’t even begin to explain how much I regret the way I handled things. It just seems like I keep messing this up.

Maggie: You regret it? You regret it. What about apologizing? What about being sorry for excluding the woman you claim to love from your life? What about that, Ricky?

Ricky: I do love you. And I am sorry about how much I hurt you. But I will not apologize for wanting to protect you. For wanting you to be happy.

Maggie: Oh ok. (she rolls her eyes)

Ricky: Hey. Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m dead serious right now. I love you, you know I do.

Maggie: Then why?

Ricky: You know why.

Maggie: We talked about babies Ricky, we talked about marriage and being together. You don’t just go from planning forever with someone to saying goodbye. It didn’t have to be all or nothing, you didn’t have to crush my heart the way that you did. There is such a thing as middle ground, communication. But no you took it upon yourself to just end it. Well you got your wish, you can go now.

Ricky: Believe me, letting you go, was the most debilitating thing I have ever experienced. Do you think that I’ve been ok this whole time? I mean you must have some kind of demented image of me in your head, if you think that the pain you felt wasn’t the same I felt.

Maggie: Fine. I get it. We’re good. You can go now.

Ricky: We’re not done.

Maggie: Like hell we are.

Maggie goes to walk away, Ricky grabs her arm.

They both feel that familiar spark.

Maggie: What do you not get? I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you.

Ricky: There you go lying to yourself again, (He pulls her closer.)

Maggie: Don’t.

Ricky: Don’t what?

Maggie: Don’t try and manipulate me Ricky. That whole flirtation bit where you try to handle me isn’t going to work. We are here because of the choice you made. And I warned you that was your last chance. So let me go.

Ricky sighs and releases her unwillingly.

Maggie sighs of relief and begins to walk away.

Ricky: Maggie…

He rushes over to her, pulling her into a kiss.

Maggie pushes him away angrily.

Maggie: What else do you want?

Ricky: I Want You.

Maggie laughs.

Maggie: You know you keep saying that. But everything you’ve done has proven otherwise. Do you enjoy playing games with me? Because you had me, and then you broke it off, several times actually. Proving to me that you are not in this. I can’t keep doing this with you, I can’t keep putting my heart at risk. Because that to me is worse than any bodily harm your line of work could have possibly caused me. You had me, and you didn’t want me, so you can’t change your mind and expect me to just go along with it. Haven’t you learned by now, that you can’t handle me! I’m not your puppet.

Ricky: I’m not handling you, and I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like I am trying to. But I have never not wanted to be with you. I was just trying to think of your happiness. I realize that I went about it all wrong and that I should have trusted that we could make it work together and let you decide for yourself. I was stupid, and wrong. I was in a bad head space Maggie. God if I was in my right mind, do you honestly think I could ever let you go. I was so ridden with guilt. I thought you were better off without me. Since I’ve been out I’ve been going to therapy and just trying to be that guy you met at the start of us.

Maggie looks at him.

Maggie: Has therapy been helping you? (She asks curiously folding her arms over her chest)

Ricky: Yea. A lot actually. It made me realize things I couldn’t see clearly before.

Maggie: Like what?

Ricky: That I was suffering from the effects of that type of job, and I wasn’t ready or able to forgive myself, let alone let you love me. But I do want to be with you. And I think you wanna be with me too.

Maggie: Look I’m glad that you’re doing better. But that ship has sailed. We lost a lot of time. Too much.

Ricky: We can get it back.

Maggie looks away.

Ricky: You look beautiful by the way. I mean you’ve definitely changed, but I like the new look.

Maggie: Well tragedy can stir up change.

Ricky: Well it’s certainly working for you, (he looks at her the way he always used to. And Maggie instantly feels her stomach flutter.)

Maggie: Don’t do that.

Ricky: What I can’t compliment you anymore?

Maggie: No. And you can’t look at me like that anymore either.

Ricky: What way am I looking at you? (He says walking closer to her.)

Maggie: Like you-

Ricky: Like I love you?

Maggie: You broke up with me. You don’t want to be with me, the sooner you admit that the sooner you can move on. Why would you even come here?

Ricky: Is that what you really think? That I broke things off because I don’t wanna be with you? Have you not been listening to anything I’ve been saying? I swear sometimes I just think you like to pick a fight. You only choose to hear what you think will help your case. When in reality there is nothing further from the truth.

Maggie: I just think that you don’t know what you want. That maybe I’m just convenient. At first I didn’t think that. I thought you were genuinely worried about me and wanted me to be happy. And I could on some level understand that. Respect you for caring that much. But when you realized that you were in the clear. You didn’t once reach out. You didn’t fight for me at all. And it just made me realize that I had completely deluded myself into thinking that you actually loved me.

Ricky: Ok. I’m going to respectfully ignore the fact that you keep saying things like that. Of course I loved you. I am still so in love with you. Maggie, after everything we have had together, do you honestly think I could walk away from you without feeling like my heart exploded into a million pieces.

Maggie: Well you have a funny way of showing it.

Ricky: I was trying to respect you and give you space. And I had to make sure that everything was fully resolved with me before I came back into your life. I wasn’t going to risk uplifting it again. And… I had to save up.

Maggie: Save up for what?

Ricky: For this.

He takes a ring box from his pocket.

Maggie looks at the box and then locks eyes with Ricky.

Maggie: What is that?

Ricky hands her the small box.

Ricky: Open it and find out.

Maggie: Ricky I-

Ricky: Open it, (he playfully touches her chin.)

Maggie looks at the box, she takes a deep breath and opens it to find a big diamond engagement ring.

Maggie: (gasps) Ok. I can’t breathe.

Ricky: (laughs) Stay with me on this, ok?

Maggie nods, completely baffled.

Ricky smiles taking her left hand and kneeling down on one knee.

Maggie: Oh my god.

Ricky: You wanted forever.

Maggie: Only if you want it too.

Ricky: (rolls his eyes at her) I love you. I don’t like my life without you. It’s unbearable. You mean the world to me, and I know that this hasn’t been easy, and we’ve been on a painful roller coaster for a while. But I have never not for one second, stopped loving you. I love your heart and how you wear it on your sleeve. I love your eyes, how they sparkle and how they can always read me. It’s kind of creepy and crazy. (He laughs) I love your smile, and your creative mind. I love how you come home smelling like Elmer’s glue and covered in paint and glitter. I love that you love kids and that you’re so good with them. I love that you love with your whole body and soul and how you truly listen and take the time to get to know people. I love how having you in my arms every night magically fixes everything. I’ve really missed that. I love how we can sit watching movies for hours in our sweats, eating junk food and then still choose to order Chinese food and you still manage to look flawless.

Maggie is laughing and shaking her head, taking it all in stride.

Ricky: I love how you love.

Maggie is in tears at this point.

Ricky: I know that I hurt you, and you have to understand that it wrecked me to leave you. But I’m back and I want to make you happy, I want to make up for the time that we lost. I want for us to have the future we planned, the future we deserve. And I’m not letting one more day pass by without having you in my life. So if you haven’t completely given up on me yet…I was just wondering if maybe you’d consider, marrying me?

Maggie: (shrugs) Took you long enough.

Ricky laughs.

Ricky: Is that a yes?

Maggie: That’s a yes.

Ricky puts the ring on Maggie’s finger and stands up to meet Maggie for a kiss.

Ricky kisses Maggie and hugs her tightly.

Ricky: Do you like the ring?

Maggie: (looks at it) It’s perfect.

Ricky: I love you so much.

Maggie: I love you.

She cups his face and kisses him.

Ricky: Happy birthday love.

Maggie smiles and kisses him again.

Maggie and Ricky walk back into the hall hand in hand.

Lily and Ian notice.

Lily: Told you it’d work, (she nudges Ian with her hip.)

Ian: Your superpowers scare me.

Lily laughs and kisses him.

Maggie and Ricky walk over to them.

Lily: So…I’m guessing we worked things out?

Maggie: Oh yea, I mean if he ever tries to break up with me again, I will have to kill him. But- (Ricky laughs and wraps his arms around her) I uh I think that we’re good. (She says tucking her hair behind her ear and showing off her ring.)

Lily notices.

Lily: Holy shit! Shut up! (She grabs her best friend’s hand.)

Maggie laughs.

Lily: Oh my GOD! Oh my god! (She shrieks and jumps up and down hugging Maggie.) This ring is gorgeous! Ricky you did good.

Ricky laughs.

Ian: I think what Lily is trying to say is Congratulations you guys.

Ian shakes hands with Ricky.

Ian: Congratulations brother.

Ricky: Couldn’t have gotten here without you. Thanks for having my back and for watching over these lovely ladies, (he says gesturing toward Lily and Maggie as he pulls Maggie into a side hug.)

Ian nods.

Ian: It’s a pleasure. Thank you for having my back.

Ricky nods.

Maggie and Lily are hugging and freaking out.

Ricky: (noticing he leans over to Ian) But…I should probably apologize in advance…

Ian: Why?

Ricky: Because…the pressures on buddy…you’re next.

Ian looks at Ricky, then at Lily as he smiles.

*****************

Maggie turns to Ricky as she smiles, before she kisses him.

Maggie: I guess we have a wedding to plan.

Ricky: I guess we do.

Maggie: Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?

Ricky: Whatever you want, (he says wrapping his arms around her and kissing her.)

Maggie: You don’t have an opinion? (She smiles up at him.)

Ricky: As long as I have you there, I’m covered. You’re all I want, you’re all I need.

Maggie smiles brightly as she kisses him.

Maggie: But you know after the wedding, our first order of business-

Ricky: Babies. (He says smiling knowingly)

Maggie: Yes. (She says smiling)

Ricky: Hell yes, I don’t care how many times we have to do it. How many days we have to spend in bed.  (he smirks leaning in to kiss her again as she laughs.)

****************

Lily walks over to Ian

Lily: I throw the best birthday parties ever.

Ian: (blurts out) You think you’ll ever marry me?

Lily looks over at him.

Lily: Are you asking me?

Ian: Just inquiring for future reference.

He says staring straight ahead, not making eye contact with her curious eyes.

Lily: Hmm.

Ian’s eyes shift over to her, his lips smirking.

Lily: I kinda love you, you know that.

Ian’s expression stuns.

Ian: Did you just-

Lily: Yup.

Ian: But that’s the first time you’ve ever-

Lily: I know. (She smiles)

Ian turns to her, taking her hands in his.

Ian: I love you too.

Lily: Yea I figured, (she smiles pulling him into a kiss, as Ian laughs against her lips.)

***************

*Flashback* (Over a year ago)

Maggie comes out of the school, her hands full of creative craft supplies.

She begins dropping them one by way, by accident.

Ricky driving on a motorcycle is held at a red light and notices her, his eyes looking her over. He smiles to himself.

“Ugh,” he hears Maggie’s aggravated sigh.

Ricky drives off to the side and parks his bike. He walks over to a very frazzled Maggie.

Kneeling down he helps her pick up a few things.

“Here you go,” he says.

“Thank you so much. Today is just not my day. I’ve been dropping things, spilling things, I am covered in glue and glitter,” she says finally looking up, and locking eyes with the handsome stranger.

An instant spark ignites.

Maggie’s captivated. Ricky is intrigued.

“Do you need a lift somewhere?” he says pointing to his motorcycle.

Maggie notices.

“Oh gosh. (Laughing) I better not. Motorcycles terrify me.”

“Hmm. All the more reason to do it. Who knows you might just enjoy it.”

“I don’t know. We’re strangers,” Maggie says mentally kicking herself for not jumping at the opportunity.

Ricky smirks, thinking for a beat.

“I’m Ricky,” he says extending his hand.

Maggie looks up at him.

“And you are?” Ricky says with a sexy expectant smile.

Maggie’s heart flutters.

“Maggie,” she says shaking his hand.

They lock eyes at the powerful feeling of contact and connection.

“It’s nice to meet you Maggie, see now we’re not strangers anymore.”

Maggie lets out a nervous giggle as she pulls her hand away.

Ricky’s heart skips a beat.

“I’m sorry I just don’t think this is a smart idea…” Maggie says.

“Come on, I don’t bite. Live a little.” Ricky says his eyebrow cocking up as his head jerks over toward his motorcycle.

“Ok. Fine. You’re on. But just to be clear, no tricks ok, it’s my first time on a motorcycle.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a very safe driver, I’ll be gentle.”

Maggie blushes as she laughs.

Ricky smiles flirtatiously as he shows her the path to his bike.

Ricky puts her bags into a back tank, and gets on the bike.

“Hop on,” he says.

“Ok….Uh…” Maggie says nervously looking at the bike.

“Just grab onto my waist and swing your leg over.”

Maggie does so and gets on the bike.

“There you go,” he says with a smile of confidence.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Maggie says laughing.

Ricky gives Maggie a helmet as he puts his on as well.

Maggie wraps her hands around his waist.

Ricky looks down, he smiles.

“You ready?” He asks.

“Yea.”

“Hold on tight Maggie this is gonna be fun.” He says revving his bike, waiting for the light to turn green. As it does he speeds off and Maggie squeals.

-End of flashback-

****************

The DJ starts to play a familiar song.

Maggie and Ricky smile at each other.

Ricky: May I have this dance love?

Maggie takes his hand as they sway in each other’s arms.

Maggie holds him tightly as she looks at her ring, she smiles happily.

Ricky: Thank you.

Maggie pulls away and looks up at him.

Maggie: For what?

Ricky: For walking into my life, at the perfect moment. You changed me for the better. You woke me up.

Maggie: You woke me up too. Besides, the foundation was pretty much intact, I just did a little fine tuning. (She says smiling up at him.)

Ricky: No, it was a lot more than that, so thank you.

Maggie: Thanks for the ride. It’s been a hell of one.

Ricky: Well hold on tight baby, we’ve got a long way to go, (he says smiling down at her, pulling her closer to him.)

Maggie smiles and kisses him.

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-The End-

There you have it, the Love Conflicted journey is over. It’s been fun. I hope those of you who have read along, enjoyed the love story between Ricky and Maggie and Lily and Ian.

Stay Tuned for a Love Conflicted inspired “Soundtrack” & my author’s commentary! COMING SOON!

Thanks for reading!

 *I do not take credit for any images used in my edits, or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Be Productive

I have been feeling kind of stuck lately. And so when that happens I usually end up on YouTube. And I’ve noticed a trend coming on. Many people have been posting videos on how to be more productive and how to have less stressful mornings. Now I am not a morning person per say. I have become more of a night owl; I like to stay up late and then it’s hard for me to wake up early. So this is a bad habit that I’d like to shake, because I want to make my days count. I want to be more active and get more done. Time is precious and I don’t want to waste it anymore.

Tips I’ve gathered

Change your sleeping schedule, so you can get up earlier, and get an earlier start.

*I’ve started to do this, and I’ve noticed it just puts me in a better frame of mind when I know I have more time in a day to do the things that I have to do. The later you wake up the less motivation you will have.

Exercise; get outside.

*I’m not much of a nature girl, but I’ve tried a few in door exercise options to see how I like them. I tried a guest pass at a gym recently, went to a few kick box classes (that seriously kicked my ass, so not my thing), and I try to get in a Yoga routine every now and then. I have a yoga dvd that has an AM & PM routine and I have a yoga mat at home and I try to do it at my convenience. That takes the pressure off of it.

Listen to upbeat music while you exercise.

*I usually just listen to the yoga music, the video provides, because anything else conflicts with the routine. But I will say that there is an album that I have  been really having a spiritual connection to recently. I guess that’s the only way I can describe it. Joy Williams, thank you for being the badass woman you are. You are an inspiration. My favorites include; Woman (Oh Mama), Not Good Enough, What a Good Woman Does, & Welcome Home.

Drink lots of water throughout the day, hydration is important.

Plan out your day (use a notebook and get them to do lists down)

*This has been really helping me focus. My mind sometimes gets bigger than me, and I feel like a spastic monkey. Yes a monkey. So this has been helping me keep my thoughts in check.

Clean up your room/make your bed

*Ever since I re-painted my room and got my own space, I have been a little OCD about keeping things in place. It’s a good feeling though to feel like I know where everything is and it’s the way I want it to be. A simple thing like making your bed, can make you feel like you’ve got your life together.

Read

*Ok so I’m not too much of a reader, but I will say that I love me some entertainment news. I catch up on all the gossip via Facebook. Thanks Ryan Seacrest for being so reliable. However, I’ve also been trying to check in on my local newspaper to see what’s going on in my hometown. I really don’t love watching the news. I think it’s just so depressing and it contributes to my anxiety. But I don’t want to be naïve, I want to be informed. So I’ve been trying to check in on things.

Write

*You know this is my bread and butter. Start a journal. Spill out your feelings. Emotionally throw up onto the pages. It’s okay. It’s going to make you feel good to get it out. And if you’re feeling extra spunky; start a blog!

Take breaks

*The same way your body needs time to recuperate from things, so does your brain. It needs to rest. It needs to re-charge. So take breaks when you feel you need them, don’t feel bad for needing a minute. It’s normal. You can’t be on the go 24/7.

Find inspiration

*Listen to music, Watch TV, Movies or YouTube videos, Spend time with friends and family.

Prep lunch/snacks, clothing, purse the night before your big days.

*This will help your mornings be less crazy.

And speaking of less crazy mornings…these two videos really spoke to me. Thanks girls! ❤

****Book recommendation:****

And lastly, I’ve seen a lot of people talk about this book.

the life-changing magic of tidying up

the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing

By Marie Kondo.

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*I’ve been renovating my room and have been overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I have and nowhere to put it. So this book is looking like a must read for me.

What are your productive morning/day tips?

-<3-

90’s+ Playlist & “Joey Potter” Style Steal

90’s+ playlist (and by + I mean some may be from the early 2000s, but who cares!) that will give you the feels…

1. “Mmm bop”- Hanson

2. “Killing me softly” The Fugees ft. Lauryn Hill “Doo-Wop (That Thing)- Lauryn Hill

3. “Poison”- Bell Biv Devoe

4. “I’ll be”- Edwin McCain

5. “Believe”- Cher

6.“I don’t want to wait”- Paula Cole

7. “Tearin’ up my heart”- *NSYNC & “Music of my heart”- Gloria Estefan ft. *NSYNC

8. “Wannabe”- The Spice Girls

9. “…Baby One More Time”- Britney Spears

10. “Genie in a bottle”- Christina Aguilera

11. “Hand in my pocket” & “Ironic”- Alanis Morissette

12. “Angel” & “I will remember you”- Sarah McLachlan

13. “How do I live”- Leann Rimes

14. “Too close”- Next

15. “Truly, Madly, Deeply” & “I knew I loved you”- Savage Garden

16. “Kiss me”- Sixpence None The Richer

17. “Blue (DaBaDee)”- Eiffel 65

18. “Red Red Wine”- UB40

19. “All Star”- Smash Mouth

20. “All the small things”- Blink 182

21. “Torn”- Natalie Imbruglia

22. “Barbie Girl”- Aqua

23. “Tubthumping” – Chumbawamba (wait what? click it and you’ll remember it!)

24. “White Flag”- Dido

25. “The Sign” – Ace of Base

26. “I want it that way”- Backstreet Boys

27. “You gotta be”- Des’ree

28. “Never had a dream come true”- S Club

29. “Buffy theme”- Nerf Herder

30. “My heart will go on”- Celine Dion

31. “Remember The Time” & “You Are Not Alone”- Michael Jackson

32. “Waterfalls” & “No Scrubs”- TLC

Do you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Because I do! Each of these songs I can associate with a memory. Growing up dancing around my living room with my brother to the buffy theme song, my hair in two pigtail braids whipping around. Willow Smith I Whipped My Hair Back And Forth Way Before You Did. 😉 Singing and making up dance routines with my best friend in her basement. Hearing Michael Jackson music throughout the house as my mom cleaned.  Or just simply listening to music on my disc-men. That shit barely fit in my coat pocket. Isn’t that the point of music, to inflict emotion of a memory? A moment in time that was precious to you and probably still is.

Now some of these were very big 90’s tv show soundtrack factors…

In fact many of these may have even graced the scenes of 90’s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, which I am currently obsessing over, thanks to abcfamily playing reruns.

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Ah the 90’s; the time when fashion was a little underrated and relaxed and actually attainable.

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Queen of the side glance

In walks Joey Potter with her laidback tomboy chic look. She spoke fluent sarcasm, and was the 101013-katie-holmes-340[1]official queen of the “side glance.” With her crazy home life, and impressive brainiac skills which was her only ticket out of this small town. Joey was head over heels in love with her best friend Dawson. She spent her days pining for him, while she harbored interests in art and passed the time away working in the Capeside Ice House as a waitress. I have to admit I am secretly jealous of her little work aprons and effortless tomboy looks. I’ve always wanted one of those cool summer jobs that seemed so chill, but kinda trendy.

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Joey’s look was pretty wash and go. Simple highwaisted jeans, jean or cargo-like shorts, plaid or flannel shirts, plain tees, and tennis shoes. Minimal to no accessories. She occasionally wore earrings. It wasn’t until her sister forced her into a burgundy colored lipstick. (and by force I mean actually grabbed her face and put it on her)Dawson-s-Creek-Season-1-101-Pilot-katie-holmes-5594112-876-658[1] that Joey even considered the idea that makeup exists. A little mascara and you’ve got a Joey inspired fresh face. Her hair on the other hand gets a little sassy from time to time, with effortless updos.

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Outfit Inspiration

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Makeup Inspiration

Hair Inspiration

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Here’s my recreation of a Joey Potter 90’s look… #crappycellphonepics Holla!!! 😉

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Here’s my insecure my name is Joey pose 😉

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*For my Joey Potter inspired look*

-I had things in my own closet that I paired together-

A light denim pair of shorts

A plain gray tank top

*A plaid shirt (with the sleeves cut off)-

*which as you can tell I switched things up from tying it at the front or just leaving it loose.

A pair of imitation “toms” (lol)

No accessories

For my hair, I just threw it up with a clip (so 90’s) and pulled some strands out like she did. My makeup as I said, was the burgundy colored lipstick, some concealer, some powder, filled in my brows, added mascara, and an eyelid primer for good measure. Really basic.

   It was fun playing around with Joey’s style, it’s super chill and gives me a break from my at times fashionista ways.

What can I say, I’m just a Joey looking for her Pacey…;)

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….Because spoiler alert, she soon looks past the hateful banter she shares with a certain other male friend and falls for Dawson’s much sweeter, much more charming, and far less self absorbed best friend Pacey Witter….I have a serious crush on Pacey, because he’s kind of perfect #PACEYSCREEK I blame my expectations of men on television.

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*I do not take credit for the Dawson’s Creek photos, all others are my own.*

So were you #teampacey or #teamdawson?

And what was your favorite 90’s throwback song? If I missed any LET ME KNOW! 😀

-<3-