Scatter Brain

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I recently have been feeling like I have a lot of things going on and I’m getting overwhelmed.

I know what else is new? Right? 

But I’m stuck.

It’s that time of year where it’s getting hotter. I work closely with the school system, so it’s nearing summer break and all the kids are starting to lag and slow down and I feel by some extension that I am too.

There is this improvement list I keep thinking about.

Things I want to do and be better at, for myself-my career, my health, for my students, for my family, for my friends…

I teach 5 different creative activities and although it was my choice, I feel like I’m not doing as well as I hoped. I always have this vision and then it gets crazy and scattered and I end up scrambling in the last weeks.

And yet I am still also needed in a lot of other areas in my life- I’m in three more weddings- two of which I am maid of honor for, I’m going to be a Titi (An Aunt) in the fall I’m going to have a niece! And I’m planning for family occasions that keep popping up…the list always has something new added.

So I feel like I’m trying to be everything to everyone and still tryin to have some sort of social life and make time for myself. 

My relationships in my life with family and friends are everything to me.

And I want to show up for everyone… for everything.

And lately, I just feel kind of all over the place, and pulled in many directions.

I feel like I’m dropping the ball, and I don’t know what to do.

To the point where I just want to throw myself on my bed and sleep to forget it all.

I’ve been going and going since what feels like forever, and I’m still going.

I don’t know how to get over this bump in the road.

There is so much I want to do for myself, and I feel like my career has been put on hold for so long, and I know that it is my fault.

But I’ve made strides to better my situation in the past and I feel like now I’m just stuck and safe.

I get worried that my dream of being a writer will never happen for me.

I know I have to push myself, and when I lack motivation, I need to learn to push past it.

But it’s difficult. For sure.

I don’t know where to start.

How to change.

I’m always buying, and doing for something else, that it’s easy for me to forget or slack on going after what I really want for myself.

I need to learn how to prioritize.

I need to learn how to use my time wisely.

I need to plan accordingly and not let myself get stuck in my comfort zone.

I need to realize that the change is within me, and no one else.

I can’t keep saying I’m stressed and overwhelmed and then just shut down.

Because what good is that then?

I can’t just keep going through the everyday routine without any progress or change.

But I don’t know how to do that.

And this is not a “feel bad for me” post, this is literally my way of trying to sort this mess out.

I know I will, I’ve done so in the past.

One day things just clicked and did what I had to do even though it was scary…even though it was hard.

So I’m hoping I get my click into place day soon.

Thanks for letting me vent, friends.

And if you can relate, tell me in the comments how you push past that feeling stuck feeling!

XO

Michelle

 

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

Welcome Home-Author’s Commentary

DISCLAIMER: Welcome Home is not a real motion picture nor does it have a soundtrack coming out. This is just me living in my fictional happy writer’s world. Where I pretend and where I run the show. Haha. Back in college whenever I would hand in a script or be working with already written material/feature film scenes, my professor would ask me who I would have play the characters, where would it take place, what location? And so I think that kind of stuck with me, because as I write each of my short story series here on this blog, I want to include those aspects and give you a visual experience. Mysterious Attraction was my first shot at it, A Broken Heart For Christmas, and Love Conflicted followed, and most recently On The Run.

As a kid I used to say “Make Pretend” all the time. Make Pretend you’re a princess who slays dragons. Make pretend you’re a ballerina who bull rides. Make pretend you’re writing a screenplay and you get to pick the actors, and release a soundtrack and commentary that people have been anxiously awaiting. The options could be endless. So let’s “Make Pretend.” Enjoy!

I just re-read Welcome Home, in preparation for this post, and I have to admit, I was really happy with this short story series. It felt more structured and concise.

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Background:

Welcome Home premiered on Thursday, December 15th, 2016. It was a small string of random thoughts and characters I just had to get out! The story continued pretty consistently until Thursday, March 16th. Overall the story was featured on Thursdays here on michelle leigh writes for a span of about 3 months.

OFFICAL FULL CAST PROMOTIONAL PHOTO RELEASED 😉

Cast poster

 

Dream Casting:

Melanie Evans portrayed by Shantel VanSanten

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I fell in love with Shantel when she played Quinn James on One Tree Hill. I think she had this purity about her acting and she is such a natural beauty. She also does sassy comedy really well too. I really thought she would bring someone like my character Melanie to life.

Oliver King portrayed by Jason Thompson

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I don’t know where to start with this guy. I adore him. I fell in love with Jason when he played Dr. Patrick Drake alongside love interest Dr. Robin Scorpio (Turned Drake) on General Hospital. He is such a brilliant actor, I am still flabbergasted that he hasn’t won an Emmy yet. He puts his heart out there and he is so believable. Put him in a scene with anyone and you can see how he elevates the material in his acting choices. How he interacts with them, and uses his body language to convey a believable relationship. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve rewatched him and Kimberly McCullough’s (Robin) many scenes together from General Hospital as they displayed quite the love story. So freaking amazing!

Supporting Roles:

Cassie portrayed by Hilary Duff

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Hilary Duff, what can I say? Loved her since Lizzie McGuire. And that show basically shaped my childhood. She was one of my idols growing up. And she holds such a special place in my heart. She has grown into such an incredible feisty actress and you can tell that she’s done so in a really classy way. The way she handles the more mature topics of life on her new hit show Younger with comedy and sass, is just so damn good. So I knew that she could be the perfect face for Cassie- the sassy, bold, tell it like it is best friend. You know me and how my best friend roles are always sassy!

Dave portrayed by Derek Hough

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I had Duff in my head and I knew Cassie would soon need a love interest too and in pairing her with someone, Hough seemed like such perfect fit visually. I love Derek Hough, I have swooned over him on Dancing with the Stars so many times. I’m sad he’s not on this season. He is such a huge talent and inspiration. I would love to see him featured in more films throughout his career! Hey Derek- I’ll have my people call your people! 😉

Molly King portrayed by Brooklyn Rae Silzer

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This kind of happened by accident. If you know Jason Thompson as Patrick Drake, then you know that he and Robin have a daughter named Emma. Brooklyn plays the role of Emma. And when it came to editing pictures of a child with Thompson and Van Santen, I just thought it seemed completely obvious to have Brooklyn be viewed as Melanie and Oliver’s daughter Molly. She is such big talent! She is sassy and sweet and is sure to grow up to be a huge name! Just like McCullough did! She started her career as a kid on General Hospital.

Aspects I Really Liked:

Reading it back, I was really happy with the way there was some foreshadowing and reveals throughout the story’s unfolding.

For example…

Throughout the whole first few chapters you don’t know what happened between Melanie and Oliver. We never know why they broke up. We know they were engaged, we know they had a past and that they haven’t really seen or spoken to each other in a few years. I like how it keeps you guessing, until he says it- they loss their baby.

I also like how you don’t really know if she’s pregnant again, you expect it, but then she looks at the test and cries at the end of the chapter which can make it go either way. And then at the beginning of the following chapter we start with a funeral type scene and it makes you think she lost another child. Soon you find out it was a flashback to Cody’s memorial. And then we time jump into a new life with Melanie and Oliver and their new baby girl.

I think the foreshadowing worked nicely and kept the suspense going. I’ve said it many times, I write these short story series as if they were a movie, and so these types of foreshadowing, flashbacks, jump cuts would work well I think.

I also thought that I was able to portray bits of their lives, pasts, careers, etc, throughout the story. So often I feel like you have to give it all in the beginning, but I realized that doesn’t work either. You have to disperse the information little by little, when needed. So what I tried to do this series is implement backstory when it made most sense. For example, through conversations we find out that Melanie is a writer and Oliver is a photographer. Melanie’s writing has suffered since her tragedy so we don’t see her writing. Oliver is said to be snapping pictures now and then. I don’t think these things have to be super prominent as long as there are mentions, we get the gist. The story is bigger than this.

We also find out how they met in college through Oliver’s best man and Melanie’s maid of honor speeches. I really love that story Oliver tells, it serves a lot of purpose to the story, and to the relationships within it- Cassie/Dave and Oliver/Melanie. I love love love it! You can just see the scene of how they all met play out in your head.

I really love how we finally get the story of how Melanie and Oliver broke up, as she reads the first passage of her book “Operation Forever,” at her first book signing. We never really knew how she left, and this was my way of answering that question without actually having to force a flashback. Her book title, is a bit of an Easter egg and ode to their little discussion when they got engaged.

“I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel real, ya know. To be this in love.” She says smiling brightly up at him through watery eyes.

“Yea I know the feeling. I guess we’re just going to have to get used to the fact that we’re stuck with each other, forever. It’s all a part of my evil plan.”

“Ah, I see. Operation forever.”

“Something like that. But I’m sure we could think of a better name than that.”

“What- why I like it.”

“Well if you like it, then I like it.”

Flashbacks however are utilized when needed, and they are brought on by familiar moments-déjà vu, or scenery from her home town. The first Chapter we see her have a flashback to she and Oliver in their own apartment, engaged, during happier times. And it is brought on by watching her reflection as she puts on some lip-gloss- a menial task she’s done many times in front of him as he would watch and admire.

Then throughout her home coming she is catapulted into many memories, memories she’s tried to stay away from. She sees their names carved in her front porch, and remembers the first time he told her he loved her and that he wants to be with her forever. At home in her living room, in front of the fireplace, she has a flashback of them making love, walking through town she sits in the gazebo and remembers when he asked her to marry him. All of these things make her feel and in turn make us feel because we see how much these two people love each other. And how painful it is for them to not be together. But I also really love that these flashbacks were placed well, within reason, and were brought on by her familiar surroundings.

Through more conversations we see how close they really wore, how they had the same friends, how her family took him in and welcomed him on school breaks, how he knew her bedroom pretty well and they “broke some house rules” every now and then as teens. 😉 Oliver even makes mention to the fact that he will “crawl into her window” at night if he has too, which makes us realize this was something he may or may not have done as a young teen in love. Oliver bakes her, her favorite sugar cookies and knows her obsession with New Kids On The Block. He knows her mom’s cooking and how they go all out for holidays. There is so much history there between these two and you don’t have to see their whole relationship to know that.

“What?”  “Nothing.”

This is something I revisit this dialogue exchange a lot throughout the story, and their relationship. A lot of the times it’s Melanie who catches Oliver watching her and says What? And in turn he says Nothing. It’s a bit of a flirtation and a cute game for them. And it resurfaces a few times between them. Even at the end, when it’s reversed and Oliver realizes how annoying it can actually be. Lol.

Timeline:

Speaking of Holidays, I think I was inspired by them when I wrote this. I had written a good portion of the first chapter or so, before I posted and so I was in a family holiday mood. So I took that inspiration and the holidays kind of built my timeline. We Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. There are certainly time jumps in here too, but I think that’s only natural, for this kind of coming home, and coming into your own skin story. We need to jump around so we can see the characters grow and learn to better themselves.

Slideshow Feature:

I also think utilizing the slideshow feature in the last chapter was my way of showing their lives together and the things you missed. (Yes, I know some of my edits are super crappy and bad, but I tried, haha.) This tactic helped me fill in some blanks. In my head I just saw the scene playing as if it were in a movie- a time jump and then a happy family at home, as you see pictures of their lives together dress their walls. Their child growing throughout the years along with their love. Notice most of the pictures look professional, because you know Oliver King was like Um excuse I will be taking all my daughter’s professional pictures, thank you. Haha. Did you spot those Paris pics? – Another little Easter egg to show he actually took her like he wanted to.

“God I’ve missed this town.” Oliver says smiling looking around.

“Missed it? I thought that you were living here?”

“I was. For a long time. I still have a place here. But work kinda takes me all around nowadays. I’m kind of a nomad.”

“I see. Traveling must be nice though.”

“It is. It’s really amazing Mel. I’ve been to Ireland, Italy, and France, I stayed at this little bed and breakfast in Paris, the couple that ran it were two of the sweetest people, and every morning they would make me blueberry waffles, sausage and bacon. And my room, it overlooked this little lake, it was breathtaking. You would have loved it.”

“I’m sure I would have,” she says smiling up at him.

“Maybe one of these days, you’ll let me take you there.”

“Maybe.” She says looking away, fidgeting with the cup in her hands.

“Always forgetting your gloves.” He says noticing and smirking at her.

Within the slideshow we also see an image of Baby Boy Cody’s sonogram which means he is still part of them and their family which was important for me to show, because that loss was such a big part of their lives, their love and this story. And I love that they each have Cody tattoos, they got separately, to honor their son. It shows they think alike.

Love Scenes:

I back tracked and looked at what I wrote for my last short story series- On The Run, and when it came to writing love scenes, this is what I wrote… [One of these days, I won’t blush while writing a love scene. I won’t hide in a corner shielding my computer screen from curious eyes. I won’t feel ashamed of what I’m writing. I find that when I write a love scene, I continuously edit myself. What if a family member of mine reads this? Oh my god what will they think? The people in my life have a certain perspective of me. I’m a pretty reserved personality, and so writing these scenes would be something they wouldn’t even think I do, or can do. So there’s a barrier there for sure and I feel like I need to work on being more free and not so constrained and worried about what people will think. If anything hopefully they can just realize that what I’m trying to do by writing these scenes, is to craft a beautiful love story.] In many ways this still applies, I need to work on this and I definitely still edited myself a lot this series. I had written much more juicer material, but I wanted it to read with a certain tenderness and I felt that would get lost in the lust factor, so I edited it. However, I do still think I am getting better at writing love scenes, because even reading the love scene back today, I was surprised I left certain things in. With that being said though, I still think it reads the way I wanted it to be read, a couple so in love they can’t contain it. I don’t think it reached a trashy point.

Themes:

Coming Home/Finding Home, Family, Friendship, Hope, Loyalty, Heart, Unconditional Love, Forever, Fear, Creativity, Soulmates, Heart vs. Head, Overcoming Obstacles, Tragedy.

As you read this series any of these themes can pop into your mind, Melanie is so torn. She has the whole world at her feet, family and friends waiting to support her, her dream career in her grasp, a man so in love with her he’d wait forever for her, but yet the heartache of losing her child years ago force her into a stubborn isolation. She had a lot of soul searching to do, that unfortunately she needed to do on her own.

Oliver is her ray of light, her hope, he loves her unconditionally and he is not willing to let her sit in that dark black hole of isolation for too long. However, you can see that he knows how he has to play this. He can’t just pounce. She’s already used to running, and she will continue if anyone makes any sudden movements. So you see him pull back here and there. He knows when she needs to walk away. And it baffles Melanie that he could be that understanding. He’s pretty perfect. But not without his faults, he is human. There are moments where you see him falter. We see him not be so understanding, but in the same breath he takes on the blame, so that she doesn’t have to, and even then Melanie pulls away because she can’t comprehend his unwavering love.

It isn’t until he backs off completely that she realizes she needs him. When she finds out she is pregnant with another one of their children. And when she actually chooses to include him in what is going on. Once she finally admits she needs him not only to him, but to herself, the whole story kind of becomes well rounded. Things are full circle and all the stress is forgotten as they embark on their journey together. Because he was never going to give up on her, he just needed her to come to him.

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Friendship is always a factor in my stories, there are always the supporting roles- the best friends, because I think our main characters need somewhere to go and vent. I think I would have liked to explore some more conversations between Oliver and Dave. Now that I think about it I’m sure Oliver would vent at times. How could he not! Melanie drove him crazy! And Dave was part of the whole reason why Melanie and Oliver met in the first place, he knew their story. I think friendship is always such a strong consistent theme in my stories, because it’s a strong theme in my life. I have a core group of friends who I go to with everything. I have a best friend, I’ve known since kindergarten, hence the childhood best friend inspiration. #CassieAndMelanie.

Character Building:

I feel like it’s easy to relate to both Oliver and Melanie. There’s a push and pull between them. They have so much love and attraction between them. And unlike my last short story series On The Run, these two didn’t just meet, they’ve known each other for many years. They have a really heavy past and they know things about each other that form a very sexy, real, loyal bond.

It’s easy to hate on Melanie, I think. She left. She ran. And continues to do so for the better part of the series. She wasn’t there for the man she loved. When he obviously continuously put her first. It’s definitely a frustrating concept. She even lets Oliver think they are getting back together after what happened between them on Christmas. But there is this really complex nature about her that I hope is displayed to the audience. I wanted her to be conflicted. She didn’t run because of Oliver, she ran because of herself. Because she wasn’t herself. Because she was worried she wouldn’t be able to give him what he deserved; a family. She knows what she’s doing, she knows she’s hurting him- she admits it, but she can’t help it, because of the pain that weighs on her heart.

So in that sense, I feel like you can put yourself in her shoes, and understand why she has been acting the way she has. It’s not that she doesn’t love him. She does, but she’s caught between that and her pain. She pushes him away because she can’t handle reliving it.

Oliver has a really beautiful evolution I think. I really love his character. And I think if this were ever made into a real short film, Jason Thompson would kill this role! There’s this intense vulnerability in Oliver. He loves with everything in him. He’s made up his mind about Melanie a long time ago, it’s just he’s waiting to make his moves.

“You’re my forever, plain and simple.”

He lets her run, he lets her have her time. But he is always there if she needs him… when she needs him. And after years he still held onto that love and that loyalty. As I said he seems pretty perfect, but he’s not without his faults. And eventually he reaches a point where he tells Melanie that he can’t do it anymore, but even though she believes it, he knows it was just another tactic on his part. A heat of the moment type of thing.

“You’ve been kind of distant today, I guess I understand, but I have to admit, I am surprised.”

“I’ve learned to let you come to me. I figured if I kept my distance long enough you might miss me,” he says smiling.

Oliver has a lighter heart, he tries to make Melanie smile, and remember the good. He doesn’t dwell on the negative. With that being said, it’s not that Melanie’s miscarriage didn’t affect him. It did, but he chose to take his pain into his own hands and get the help he needed, and in doing so he was able to understand things from Melanie’s perspective. He even states that he knows it’s more difficult for a woman, she physically experiences the loss. Oliver remains strong and lets her lean on him, and that’s why we never see exactly how he handled it, but we know what he had to do to handle it. The story isn’t about his pain, it’s about theirs and how he will love her through hers no matter how much she pushes him away or how long he has to wait.

The main themes of love, hope, loyalty, friendship stem from everything these two people in love have between them. It’s everything they are. It’s a forever love story that can withstand all the pain and distance life throws their way. It’s a story about coming home, finding home, not just in a place, but in someone else’s heart.

Description/Imagery:

In my last Author’s Commentary (which was for On The Run), I wrote BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE! And reading Welcome Home back, I feel like I listened. The story is set mostly during the holiday season in a small town in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You get a feel for the holidays by the scenery description of her childhood home and her walks through town.

What Needs Work:

I can always work on description, even though I’m improving. Timeline, is always tricky for me. I feel like you can get lost in time jumps and life events, and school years, and misjudge years. But hopefully I did ok, in this one. I will keep better track of this next time! As well as continue to learn about writing effective love scenes that fit the love between two charcters.

Final Comments:

I’m really proud of this short story. I think it was more thought out, and paced nicely. It ran here on michelle leigh writes for 3 months, and my posting schedule was pretty consistent. I feel like it was the most consistent of any of the short stories I’ve written. Let’s dive in and show you what I mean…

Chapter 1- posted on Thursday, Dec. 15th, 2016

Chapter 2- posted on Thursday, Jan. 5th, 2017

Chapter 3- posted on Thursday, Jan. 12th, 2017

Chapter 4- posted on Thursday, Jan. 19th, 2017

Chapter 5- posted on Thursday, Jan. 26th, 2017

Chapter 6- posted on Thursday, Feb. 2nd, 2017

Chapter 7- posted on Thursday, Feb. 9th, 2017

Chapter 8- posted on Thursday, Mar. 2nd, 2017

Chapter 9- posted on Thursday, Mar. 16th, 2017

I kept to posting on Thursday, this way to allow other categories time on my blog and not saturate it with one thing. I posted consistently one chapter a week for the better part of the series, give or take a few which even then the longest break was no more than 3 weeks.

In other words, I think I’m slowly conquering the dreaded hiatus drama! Hallelujah!

So there you have it, my in depth Author’s Commentary.

Welcome Home Says Goodbye.

JK…Stay Tuned for a separate Soundtrack post…COMING SOON!

Thank you for reading!

Catch up on Welcome Home from the beginning HERE

And get a sneak peek at my next short story series HERE

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Blog Update*

So I know that my posts have been kind of out of sync with the usual schedule, but I’ve been a bit frazzled lately. There’s a lot going on and I tend to get overwhelmed fairly easily. You ever just need to take a beat and check yourself? As someone who deals with anxiety often, I noticed I have to do that, in order to keep my sanity and keep up with everything that I have to do. Because of the bustle that surrounds my world lately,  the blog inspiration has been lacking. I struggle when this happens, because I hate posting just to post.

But with that being said I thought maybe it’d be cool to give you a little blog update. I have some fun posts in mind, it’s just a matter of getting my shit together and writing them.

I HAVE NO TIME! I’M TIRED! I’M STRESSED! I WANT TO SLEEP FOR A YEAR!

Rant over. 😉

Coming your way we have the Welcome Home “Soundtrack” and Author’s Commentary. If you haven’t read Welcome Home you can start it from the beginning HERE.

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Also I am attempting to dive into a new short story series….I’m still working on the title (I have a bunch of variations that I can’t decide on) but here’s a quick little sneak peek at the summary-

Liam Whitmore is a wealthy business executive who goes through the motions of working in his corporate world day after lousy day, making deals and kicking ass at it. However he often feels uninspired, and unable to do what he really loves. Until one day he meets a younger woman named Aria Lenz, struggling to become a dancer. Her simplistic yet driven nature strikes up a spark of inspiration in him, and he makes it his mission to get to know her. Little does he know, it’ll be the hardest “transaction” he’s ever had to make. They’re worlds apart- will he finally get through to her, or will his fire fizzle?

There- it’s out in the universe. So I have no choice, now I HAVE to get writing. Haha.

Talk Soon!

-<3-

 

 

 

 

Welcome Home. -Chapter 9 (The Final Chapter)

Read Chapter 8 HERE 

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A Few Months Later

“Presenting the new Mr. & Mrs. Oliver King!” Dave announces as Oliver and Melanie walk out through the back door of Melanie’s childhood home and into the backyard draped in a silk white tent, candles and white roses everywhere. Slow graceful music being played by a harpist. Smiles shining on the faces of the bride and groom. Family and friends stand as they cheer loudly.

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“Wooo, it’s about damn time!” Cassie screams as everyone laughs along.

Dave and Cassie speech

Oliver and Melanie make their way over to the center of the yard, where a wooden dance floor lay, as their song begins to play.

It’s all over

And it’s only beginning

We’re beginning to finally see one another

We grow stronger We grow stronger for breaking

We grow stronger for breaking apart together

Lover, find me underneath the covers

We will stay here until we discover

All that we have to give to each other Til forever

How you move me How you move me to love you

I keep choosing to love you again every morning

Lover, find me underneath the covers

We will stay here until we discover

All that we have to give to each other Til forever….

Grace and Charlie watch smiling on as Grace holds Molly, who watches her parents with a bright smile.

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Melanie looks up at Oliver.

“What?” he says.

“Nothing.” She says smiling.

He gives her a glare.

“Wow, that really is annoying, my apologies Mrs. King,” he smirks.

Melanie’s lips curl into a big smile.

“Mrs. King. I really love the sound of that.” 

“Not as much as I do.”

“Did we really do it? Did we really just get married? Finally!” she says excitement beaming through.

“Hey better late than never, right?” he says smiling as he kisses her.

“Thank you for waiting for me, I know it wasn’t easy.”

“You’re my forever. Plain and simple. There was no way I was letting you go.” He says swaying them to their song as she places a kiss on his lips.

Oliver reaches into his jacket pocket as he holds out a small digital camera to snap a picture as his lips meet his wife’s.

Melanie lets out a small laugh against his lips as she notices.

“Hey, once a photographer, always a photographer,” he says with a chuckle.

“By the way did I mention how perfect you look,” he whispers to her.

“Maybe once or twice,” she says smiling, “You look very handsome yourself,” she pulls him by the collar into yet another kiss as glasses clink for them to do so.

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A few years later…

Melanie stands up at a podium, her eyes fall down to the pages before her. She begins to read aloud-

Book reading

She runs. She’s a runner. Fierce. Independent. Stubborn. The weight of heart shattering tragedy had now taken the life out of her…out of her will to move forward.

It was a day like any other. She was 5 months pregnant, engaged to the man she loved and settling into a quaint little apartment in the place she called home- Philadelphia.

Everything seemed to be falling into place. She was happier than she ever thought she could be.

She walked into the doctor’s office, the man she loved by her side.

Making plans for years to come.

Pure joy radiating through her.

And then just like that, life changed forever.

She had lost her baby boy.

Lost.

Like a misplaced set of keys.

One minute there. The next not.

And in that moment she didn’t feel the same.

She didn’t know what to do.

Where to go.

She was broken, and no amount of love or support could fix her.

She needed time.

Time to grieve, time to be angry and place blame.

Time to heal.

So she ran.

The decision to leave was something she never intended.

One day it just got to be too much.

The familiarity too much to take, the signs, the symbols.

Blue. Baby blue. Everywhere.

Home was tainted.

The home she loved her whole life, was now something she dreaded.

The man she loved with all her heart was now the face of a tragic heartbreak.

She packed her bags, and left a note in a sealed envelope.

“I’m sorry. I’ll love you forever.” It read. Her engagement ring set upon the paper.

Thought was not calculated.

Reason and logic unheard of.

Her heart was  fighting just to beat.

Melanie smiles simply as she closes the book.

“Thank you,” she says walking off the stage.

Everyone claps, as women can be seen wiping tears from their eyes.

Billy runs up to the podium, hugging her tightly he steps up to the microphone.

“That was the first passage from our newest budding author Melanie King’s first novel, entitled “Operation Forever,” a story about a heart wrenching tragedy that somehow turned into a ray of hope. A journey through her metaphorical operation on her once damaged heart where she finally realized that her forever, her home was in front of her all along and in the eyes of the man she loved. Melanie will be happy to meet you in the back in a few minutes to sign some copies for any of those wanting to join her. Thank you for coming,” he says smiling as everyone claps.

Melanie stands in the back nook of the book store, breathing a sigh of relief, tears springing slightly.

“Mommy!” she hears, turning she smiles as Molly rushes in, she bends down scooping her into her arms.

“Hello love bug!” she says kissing her cheek.

Oliver stands there looking on, a smile in place.

“Hey, I’m proud of you.”

Melanie looks up at him, “Me too,” she smiles.

“You okay?” he says coming in and reaching for her.

“Yea. I’ve got my family.” She says smiling.

Oliver leans in and kisses her softly.

“You know, it’s difficult to read and to relive but I’m better because of it. I had so much bottled up for years and that stopped me from going after what I really wanted and who.(she says smiling up at him, as he places a peck on her lips.) Writing this book, was kind of like me getting my freedom back a little.”

“Good for you babe, I think it was something you really needed to do. I’m glad you did it.”

She smiles.

“It means the world to me that you and Molly are here with me, I love you so much.” She says kissing him again.

“Ew!” Molly says looking on as she giggles.

Oliver and Melanie look at her and laugh.

“You think that’s funny,” Oliver says as he starts to tickle Molly, whose giggle erupts into a laughing fit, Melanie holding her as she joins in on the tickle fight.

Billy knocks on the door.

“Ms. Molly, do you need me to save you?”

Molly giggles, “Yes.”

Billy smiles and walks in.

“Oh Mrs. King, your fans await you. I’m already hearing some buzz. Women are saying how much they can relate and how it’s as if you’re speaking from their hearts too.”

“That’s incredible.” Melanie says.

Melanie smiles as she gives Molly a big kiss and hands her to Oliver, and then leans in to give Oliver a kiss on the lips.

“Good luck, (he kiss her) I love you. We’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“I love you so much,” she kisses him once more before walking towards the door.

“Love you mommy!” Molly screams.

“I love you, love bug.” She smiles as she blows her a kiss and walks into the crowd that awaits her.

Later that night…

Oliver sits in his office, at his desk as he edits photos.

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Melanie peeks her head in, wearing a sweet little night gown, “Hey babe you coming to bed?”

Oliver looks over his shoulder, his eyebrows raise “Well hell, don’t you look sexy.”

Melanie crosses her arms, looking off to the side as she huffs his compliment away.

“I’m sorry, have you not seen yourself?” he says walking over to her, his hands finding her waist.

“It makes me happy how you can still be this attracted to me even after all these years, this body has had a baby, you know. It’s never going to look the same.”

“Same or not, you are still the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on,” he places a kiss on her lips.

“I try,” she smiles rolling her eyes dramatically, a smile on her lips.

sexy office

“Baby you don’t have to try,” he smirks tightening his grip on her waist.

“Well in that case, do you think you can do your sexy wife a favor and actually come to bed at a decent time tonight? ”

“Yeah that can be arranged. I’ll be in, in just a bit, just trying to decide on some photos, come here look at these with me,” he says taking her hand and walking her over to his desk.

Melanie smiles as Oliver sits and scoots out his chair to allow her to sit on his lap, her arm draping over his shoulders. 

Oliver starts clicking through photos.

“This one is my favorite, it’s everything I love in one picture, my whole world right there,” he says as it lands on a picture of Melanie and Molly.

Melanie looks at it, she smiles brightly, her eyes tearing up, “Aw. I love that one. I love you,” she says cupping his face and kissing him.

“We made a cute kid, huh?” he says looking up at her.

“Yes we did. She’s perfect.”

“That’s because she looks like you.” He says smiling up at her.

“She looks like both of us.” Melanie says kissing his cheek.

“She is perfect though, look at how happy she is,” he says pointing to a smiling Molly.

“She is. We’re doing ok, I guess, huh?” Melanie says looking down at him.

“I think we’re doing great. I think moving home to Philly was the right call. We’re still close enough to the city but we both are pretty much able to work from home.”

“I agree.  We’ve made quite a life for ourselves.”

“That we have,” he says kissing her bare shoulder. “Besides when Mommy and Daddy need some sexy time, it’s nice to have the grandparents nearby to babysit, ” he says placing a kiss on her lips.

“Speaking of…sexy time…when are we going to make another one of these beautiful babies? Doctor gave me the all clear.” Melanie says her eyes shifting to meet her husband’s.

“Oh.” Oliver says smiling, his eyebrows raising, as his hands fasten around her waist.

Melanie starts to get up off his lap, as she moves his hands off her.

“See now where are you going?” he says turning in his chair.

“Follow me and find out.” She says a playful smile on her lips.

Oliver smirks as he stands and follows.

Melanie stops at the doorway, turning back she says, “On second thought, I’m kinda tired, rain check? Good night!” She runs from the room.

 “Get over here girl,” he says rushing into the hall and sweeping her up in his arms, “You can’t walk away from me after saying a thing like that.”

A giggle and a shriek escape her as she wraps her arms around his neck accepting his kiss.

bed

Nearby on the walls of their hallway you can see pictures of their life together.

 

Home gallery

Slideshow below displays all the gallery photos in the KING home. 😀

Happy. Content. Full. Living.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Melanie and Oliver fall onto their bed as a copy of Melanie’s book lay on their bed side table, next to it a pamphlet that reads-

COMING SOON! The New York Art Exhibit Presents- Oliver King’s “Home” Collection.

A photo of him and the girls on the cover.

nighstand

 “Shhh we’re gonna wake Molly,” Melanie giggles.

“It’s ok, I plan on keeping your lips right here,” he says kissing her deeply as he removes her silk robe tossing it to the side. “I love you so much,” he whispers against her expectant lips.

kissing in bed

She pulls away and looks up at him.

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“I love you too, you’re my home, that’s never going to change. No matter what life throws our way, I know we’ll be able to handle it, together.”

Oliver smiles at her lovingly.

“Don’t you forget it….So let’s make another baby, huh?” He says smirking.

“Yes please,” She says laughing as she reaches for him.

Melanie and Oliver continue kissing into the night.

Hello, I’ve been waiting for you

I didn’t know if you’d recognize my voice

Cause I’ve been whispering your name again and again

I‘ve been imagining this day and I’ll never be the same

Welcome home Welcome home

It’s so good to see your face

Welcome home

-The End-

*I do not take credit for any images, gifs, videos,

music used in my edits or otherwise.*

Thanks so much for reading!  I hope you enjoyed!

Stay Tuned for my Welcome Home “Soundtrack” & My Author’s Commentary!

-<3-

Welcome Home. -Chapter 8

Read Chapter 7 HERE

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Melanie sits in the church- still, silent- staring before her. People exiting out behind her.

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Oliver walks down the aisle as he nods and shakes hands with family members and friends who pass him.

He sits beside her, taking her hand, her diamond ring sparkling, he lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it.

“Sweet heart, what can I do?” he says looking at her.

Melanie sits staring straight ahead. After a long moment she speaks.

“I keep waiting for all of this to vanish, like a dream. Just poof gone. This is a dream. It has to be, right? Because if it isn’t, this is one hell of a cruel life lesson. What’s the point? Do we not love each other enough? Did we not deserve a child?”

cody-king-3

“Melanie, of course that’s not true. It just happened. We can’t explain why.”

“Well someone should be able to. I can’t, you can’t, the doctors can’t, and now what- God can’t? I just want to wake up. I need to wake up,” she says her tears exploding from her eyes, her body shaking.

Oliver’s eyes pool over along with her as he pulls her into his arms.

His grip on her tighter now more than ever, as the smell of incense burn, candles flicker, and white and blue flowers dress the room. A sign off to the side reads- In Loving Memory of baby boy Cody King.

cody-king-2

Present Day…

Melanie sits in a brightly lit room, gently rocking in her chair.

“Hey babe…so someone is a little cranky, I think she wants her mommy,” Oliver says walking into the room holding a perfect little pink bundle.

Melanie smiles brightly as she stands up.

“Hand her over, pops” she says stretching her arms out.

Oliver smiles.

“Pay up first,” he says leaning in, Melanie smiles, placing a kiss on his lips before taking the baby.

“Hello, my sweet angel, are you driving daddy crazy, yes you are.” She says in her best baby voice.

baby-and-mommy

Oliver smiles up at her.

“Stay there, don’t move,” he says running out of the room.

Melanie laughs as Oliver runs back in with his camera, he starts snapping away.

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“Babe, look up at me.”

Melanie looks up and smiles.

“Molly, baby, hi sweet heart, look at daddy,” he says holding a stuffed animal near the camera to try and catch her attention.

******************************************************************************

Oliver sits in front of the fireplace, sleeping-his feet up.

Melanie emerges from the nursery, the exhaustion on her face evident.

She sees Oliver and smiles, crawling up next to him as he wakes up.

“She down yet?”

“It was a fight, but yes, finally out like a light.”

“Ah good,” he says wrapping his arm around her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, pretty sure I came in here for something and then well-,” (he laughs)

marry-me

“That’s ok, you had her for a while, we’re a team, and it was my turn to tag in. You’re allowed to sneak off for a bit.”

“Really? Can I get that in writing?” he says looking over at her.

“Don’t get too used to it,” She says in her sassy tone bumping into him with her shoulder.

Oliver smirks.

“You know as hard as having a new born may be, and as tired as I am, I am happier than ever, I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

Melanie looks at him and smiles, “Me too.” She leans up and kisses him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being my rock, for loving me as much as you do even though I drive you crazy, and for never giving up on me. I don’t know how you stayed so strong.”

“No biggy,” He smirks shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m serious, I don’t know who I would be or where I would be, had you not dragged me back into life. How did you get through it all?  I could barely breathe- let alone be without you and that last part was my own fault.”

“You did what you needed to do to get through it. And I did what I had to do.”

Melanie looks up at him with concern in her eyes.

“Like what?”

“Well, besides pining over you for years…(he laughs, as she rolls her eyes) I went to therapy- a lot of it.”

“You never told me that.”

“I knew you had tried it, and it wasn’t working for you. I figured you didn’t need me preaching about it. But it really did get me through, it made me understand things and see things in a better light.”

“I don’t think I gave it much of a chance. Besides the real thing I needed was you all along. I was just too scared to admit.”

“I knew you would come to me when you were ready. That’s why I never pushed it.”

“You’re amazing,” she says sighing in disbelief.

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“Hey, I promised you forever a long time ago, and I don’t break my promises.” Oliver looks up into her eyes, (he pauses) “Marry me?” he whispers.

“Really? You wanna try that again?”

“You sound surprised?” he says with a smirk.

“I guess I just feel like we have some things to resolve before taking that step.”

“Like what?” he says confused.

“Well, for starters I hope you know how much I love you, and I’m sorry for ever making you feel like your feelings didn’t matter…”

“Oh baby, stop it, its ok…”

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“No it’s not. Just let me say this…please…it’s been a long time coming, and I cannot become your wife unless we talk about this.”

“Ok well then, hurry up already,” he says with a smile.

“I was selfish. I let my pain overshadow yours and that was not my intention but I let it go on far longer than I should have. I allowed myself to put up walls that created a wedge between us during a time when we needed each other most. I was scared, and broken and I ran and continued running. I didn’t blame you, I blamed myself. And because of that I couldn’t see you, I was stubborn and overly determined to stay in isolation and independence. I want you to know how much I truly regret leaving you and us and how if I could take it all back I would. You have been so amazing and patient with me, just loving me through all this, even after all this time. And I will never be able to repay you for that, I know. I just hope that you know how much I appreciate you and your love and how I know this is the chance of a lifetime getting to be with you and our beautiful baby girl. I love you so much. And I’m so sorry.”

Oliver looks at her, “You know you’re wrong about something- there may be one thing you can do to repay me…”

“I’m all ears.” Melanie says, her eyes fixated on Oliver’s.

“Marry me?” he repeats.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

“Even though there’s nothing to forgive, I know you, and you won’t stop until I say yes, so yes, I forgive you. Now will you marry me already?” he says his lips inching towards hers.

 “You don’t think it’d be like adding fuel to the fire, we’re already so exhausted. Adding wedding planning to the list…”

“I think it’s only right, we’ve got our baby girl, got a beautiful new house, the only thing missing is- the little idea of you finally becoming my wife.” (He kisses her)

“Are you sure you’re ready to deal with me every single day for the rest of your life?” she says looking up at him.

“Do you just not wanna marry me?” he says laughing.

“Stop it, I would marry you right now, in these sweat pants and this old Penn State t-shirt that has your daughter’s spit up all over it, if it meant that I could be your wife.”

“So then what’s stopping us?”

“I don’t know, nothing really. I just- I don’t wanna miss a thing with Molly, these are her first few weeks on earth, everything is just so new, and-”

“You’re a good mom, you know that right?”

Melanie shrugs.

“I try.”

“You don’t have to try, it’s just in your nature. Molly’s lucky to have you.”

“Hmmm,” she smiles, nuzzling into his neck “I needed to hear that.”

Oliver smiles.

“You know we make one hell of team, but she’s already obsessed with you, I can already tell,” Melanie says her eyes rolling.

“What, how?”

“You’re the only one she laughs and smiles for.”

“Are you jealous?”

“A little bit,” she says looking up at him with a grin. “Although I have to admit watching you with her, makes my heart burst, it’s everything.”

Oliver cups her face, and kisses her, laying her back into the pillows on the couch.

“Oliver, Baby… I smell like formula, let me shower first,” Melanie says.

“Mm mm,” he says shaking his head no-continuing to kiss her.

“Ollie,” she says laughing as he kisses her neck.

“You in my old college t-shirt…yea it works for me, (he says his eyebrows raise as he smirks,  Melanie laughs) You could be wearing rags and I wouldn’t care.”

“Oh well that’s good, because this begs some resemblance to rags that’s for sure.”

He laughs.

“It’s ok you won’t be wearing it for long.” He says lifting the t-shirt up over her head, tossing it to the side, as she laughs, she wraps her legs and arms around him as he kisses her.

couch-cuddles-2

“Marry me?” he whispers again.

“When? And Where?” she says smiling up at him.

He smirks going in for another kiss as he reaches over into the draw of the end table.

He opens a familiar little red velvet box and Melanie’s heart beat quickens.

“I think it’s time this ring is home, where it’s always belonged, don’t you think?” 

Melanie nods quickly, tears falling down her cheeks.

Oliver smiles as he takes her hand, and slides the ring on her finger.

“Oh god, you still make my heart race, feel,” she says laughing as she takes his hand and places  it on her chest.

“That makes two of us, ” he says placing her free hand over his heart.  (Cupping her face, he kisses her passionately, as they slide back into laying on the couch.)

“That ring looks sexy on you.” 

Melanie smiles as she kisses him.

“So do you,” she whispers against his lips. 

Oliver smirks as he deepens the kiss.

 

*The conclusion of Welcome Home COMING SOON!

 

*I do not take credit for images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

Welcome Home. -Chapter 7

Read Chapter 6 HERE

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collage-4

A few days later

Melanie fluffs Cassie’s dress and stands up as they look at her reflection in the mirror.

“You look perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Dave is going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“Funny. I could say the same about Oliver when he sees you.”

“It’s not our day, it’s yours.”

“I can share it.”

“Not a chance in hell. You deserve this. I am so happy for you.” Melanie says smiling. She grabs Cassie’s hand pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you for planning this all so fast, how you managed to get it all done in a matter of days, and from New York, I will never know,” Cassie says smiling at her best friend.

“I can be quite bossy.”

“Hmm, I hadn’t noticed,” Cassie says as she and Melanie exchange knowing giggles.

The music begins and Melanie’s eyes pop.

“That’s my cue. I’ll see you out there,” she says winking at her.

Cassie smiles as Melanie kisses her cheek and starts to walk off, turning back, she says-

“Love you.”

Cassie smiles.

“Love you more.”

Melanie takes a deep breath as she begins to walk down the aisle, a smile in place as her eyes scan the church landing on a certain someone.

Dave leans over to Oliver who stands beside him. His chocolate-hazelnut eyes glued to Melanie.

“She looks amazing,” Dave says.

“So this is what pure torture feels like,” he says, their eyes locking as Melanie gets to the center of the alter she winks at Dave who smiles, as she stands to the opposite side of them before the alter.

As the ceremony goes on Melanie and Oliver exchange brief glances, reminiscing on what could have been.

***************************************************************************

As the reception commences, a sea of people are mingling about.

Melanie gathers her strength and walks over to Oliver who stands at the bar with a beer in his hand.

“Hi,” she smiles simply.

“Hi,” he says smiling back.

“I have to say I am quite surprised you don’t have your camera in your hand snapping away.”

“I am under very strict orders not to lift a finger, Cassie told me I am in the wedding therefore I cannot be the photographer. And you know when the bride says something…”

“Oh…you do it.”

“So you’ll cover me, when I want to sneak in a few shots later?”

“Of course,” she says matter of factly.

They exchange smiles.

“Look I know-once again I screwed up the last time we were together and I understand that we are officially done and I respect that. But I really need to talk to you about something.”

“Ok. But first, you have to dance with me,” he says smiling and holding his hand out to her.

Melanie smiles and looks away confused for a second before taking his hand as he walks her out onto the dance floor.

“You look beautiful,” he says pulling her closer to him as they sway to the music.

Melanie’s heart rate quickens.

The song ends and Oliver takes her hand and leads her to the balcony.

“So…you uh wanted to talk.”

“Oliver, I um…I don’t exactly know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it.”

“Say it.” He says simply.

“Oliver, I’m-“

The bridal attendant opens the door, peeking in.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt. But it’s time for you both to give your best man and maid of honor speeches.”

Oliver and Melanie sigh.

Melanie looks up at Oliver.

“To be continued?”

“Of course,” he says as they rush into the main hall.

*****************************************************************************

Melanie gets up and takes a glass of champagne in her hand, as the bridal attendant hands her a microphone.

“Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Melanie, Cassie’s best friend. We grew up together in Philadelphia Pennsylvania and I have never been more proud of her than I am right now. Cassie, even at a young age was a force to be reckoned with. Independent. Stubborn. We’re cut from the same cloth, I guess.  But Cassie is someone who also really cares about people. When I think about the way our friendship has grown over the years, I’ve learned so much about what it means to have a soulmate. A soulmate isn’t always a romantic relationship. It’s a relationship that gets you through the lowest of the lows and roots you on during the highest of the highs. It’s someone who you see bits and pieces of yourself in. Someone who can just know what you’re thinking or knows just what you need, without even asking. Someone who just gets you and makes life better. I know you can see where I’m going with this- Dave, Cassie may be your wife now, but she’s been my soulmate my whole life, and that’ll never change. (Everyone laughs) All kidding aside, Cassie you are my best friend, my sister, my soulmate, I love you, don’t ever change. On a side note. I met the love of my life in college, right around the same time Cassie met Dave. Needless to say, I didn’t handle things that well.”

Oliver looks up at her, his smile bright, his eyes watering.

“Let me give you the benefit of my mistakes, Cassie, dear lord let yourself need Dave. Let him be there for you. As your soulmate- I’m giving you permission, (she says winking. As everyone laughs.) I was there to watch this courtship grow. I saw Dave laugh when Cassie laughed and cry when she cried, protect her, fight for her, love her. And I have never felt safer knowing that my best friend is in good hands. I love you both, congratulations, and happiest and healthiest of memories and prayers for babies, lots and lots of babies. God Bless. Cheers.” Melanie says as Cassie runs up to her crying and hugging her.

 Oliver takes the stage.

“Hello everyone, I’m Oliver. Funny enough I’m going to tell a story that actually falls right into Melanie’s speech. You’d think we wrote them together. Spoiler alert, we didn’t. (Everyone laughs) I remember the moment Dave met Cassie. We were studying for our first big official college exam. There we were in the library. Three hours in, red bulls and coffee scattered about. When these two very frazzled, anxious, but breathtakingly beautiful girls, burst in. They walk right up to the librarian. And when I tell you all eyes were on them, I am not joking. They had a way of owning a room. Still do, (he says his eyes locking on Melanie’s.) But as I looked on, I already saw our future’s mapped out for us. My eyes were glued to Melanie and Dave here his eyes were glued on Cassie. Phew, (he says brushing his hand across his forehead with a flick of the wrist) glad that worked out. (Everyone laughs) So Cassie asks the librarian for a book. And Cassie is utterly defeated when the librarian gives her the bad news that it’s already been checked out. Low and behold, Dave flips to the cover of one of our books, and there it is- American Literature-The ways to know love. Cassie being the firecracker she is, begins walking through the library, checking books belonging to other students. No shame. Determined. On a mission. I’ll tell ya something, there is nothing more terrifying than a crazed college girl under far too much stress and that’s the truth. (The crowd laughs)

So Dave walks over to her, and says “Excuse me, I think you’re looking for this.”

Cassie looks up, sighing, “Thank you.” She says reaching for it, but just before she can get her hands on it, Dave pulls it away.

“Under one condition,” he says.

I remember thinking to myself, What a G.

Cassie and Dave laugh, as Dave’s arms wrap around his bride’s waist.

But it was short lived and his request was met with a pout and the barrier was built by Cassie’s arms folding across her chest.

It was a stance our girls worked well.

(Oliver mimics it, as the crowd laughs.)

“I’ll give you this book, if you let me and my friend, take out you and your friend,” Dave says.

I will never forget the smirk on Cassie’s face or the flicker in Dave’s eyes. 

From that point on he was a goner, and so was I. So here’s to your forever. Congratulations! Salud.

He says raising his glass.

Everyone cheers as they clink glasses.

Melanie’s eyes sparklingly in memory.

*******************************************************************

“Nice speech,” Melanie says coming over to Oliver.

“Like wise,” he says smiling.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Melanie rolls her eyes, as he laughs knowing she hates that.

“You’ve been kind of distant today, I guess I understand, but I have to admit, I am surprised.”

“I’ve learned to let you come to me. I figured if I kept my distance long enough you might miss me,” he says smiling.

They share a moment.

“Oliver, I have to tell you something, can we-”she says pointing to the balcony again.

“Right. Yes, of course,” he says following her lead.

Melanie stands before Oliver, her heart beating a mile a millisecond.

She’s fidgeting and he notices.

“Hey,” he reaches for her hands, “it’s just you and me here, you can tell me anything.”

Melanie looks up at him, she takes a deep breath in and lets it out. Her heart rate slows. A calm washing over her.

“Ollie, I’m pregnant.”

 Oliver stands before her frozen.

“I realize this is probably the last thing you expected and it’s probably the worst possible timing and I am so sorry, but I just found out myself and I thought you should know….I didn’t want to exclude you….”

Oliver stands there still frozen.

“Ok. Ok. Maybe you need a minute. I’m gonna go.” She says turning to head back into the party.

Oliver walks swiftly over to her and turning her to him, he cups her face and kisses her gently.

Their lips move as one for a bit as Oliver parts from her looking into her eyes.

“How are you? How’s the baby?” he says his hands touching her stomach.

Melanie smiles.

“We’re both doing ok.”

“Just ok?” Oliver says his eyes looking into hers.

“The doctor says that everything looks good for right now. I’m healthy and the baby is healthy. But-”

“But what?” Oliver says nervously as his hands circle around her waist again, pulling her to him.

Melanie’s eyes begin to water as she bites her lip and looks away.

“Melanie, Mel….what?” he says cupping her face.

“Oliver there’s something I never told you.”

He looks at her confused.

“When we lost Cody, after I left, I saw a specialist in New York. I was searching for answers. And they told me that it wasn’t just that I miscarried, they told me that I’m unable to physically carry a baby to term. I can get pregnant, but there’s no guarantee.”

Oliver looks at her stunned, he steps back.

“So…what does that mean… for us, are we going to lose this baby too?”

“It’s a pretty high possibility,” she says her eyes welling up.

Oliver sighs, a lump forming in his throat as the tears spill down his cheeks. He moves away from her.

“I’m so sorry,” she says crying.

“How high of a possibility?” he says turning to her, his hands on his hips, tears streaming down his face.

“There is an 85% chance that I will miscarry again,” she says through her tears.

Oliver looks up at her, he sighs and looks away, his heart breaking.

“Ollie, I’m so sorry this is not how I wanted to tell you, or where I wanted to tell you, it’s supposed to be a happy occasion, but I couldn’t keep this from you,” Melanie says falling apart before him.

He looks over at her and swiftly rushes over, cupping her face he stares into her eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t be sorry. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“But it’s all my fault.” She says crying harder now.

Oliver looks at her, he shakes his head.

“Sweet heart, this is not your fault. Do you hear me, it’s not your fault. This is not something either of us can control.”

Melanie wraps her arms around his neck, as he pulls her to him.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with me. I didn’t want you to feel any obligations. I can’t guarantee you a family. You deserve better.”

Oliver’s brow furrows, his eyes narrow.

“Melanie, when are you going to get it? I don’t want a family if it’s not one we build together. I don’t care if we have to look into other unconvential ways. A wife to me is not just a child bearer. It’s a lover and a partner, it’s everything you are. It’s these lips- (he kisses her), these eyes (he brushes the hair away from her eyes), this heart (he places his hand over her heart), this body, (he says his eyebrow raising as Melanie blushes,) it’s you. I want you. You not being able to have my baby isn’t going to change that.”

Melanie looks up at him and leaning in she kisses him, as he pulls her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her.

“Are you scared?” he says whispering to her.

“I’m terrified, I’m not sure that I can handle going through all this again,” she says looking up at him.

Oliver looks at her

“We’ll get through this together, ok? I’m not going anywhere. So don’t you dare either. ”

Melanie cups his face and kisses him.

“I really need you,” Melanie says looking up at him.

“Like I said, I’m not going anywhere,” he says cupping her face and wiping her tears away as he pulls her into a hug, he places a kiss on her forehead.

“15 % is not nothing, let’s bet on that, let’s bet on us, and our love,” He says, as their tears blend together. “You had to know that you and I…we’re far from over…that’s something that I can never officially agree to.”

Melanie pulls him into a kiss, holding on for dear life.

To be continued…

 

*I do not take any credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

Is there a right way to grieve?

They say writers often write the things they cannot say.

Or that they write in times of grief and tragedy.

In times of great joy or confusion.

I suppose I’ve done this many times.

Do you ever think to yourself – what does grief look like?

I am sure you have painted a picture of it in your head.

Your picture, the colors you’ve chosen to blend together, the emotions you choose to feel, or the feelings you just happen to come by.

But can we as human beings who are flawed by nature,  truly give an accurate description of what grief actually is and what is should feel like?

The truth is it’s different for everyone.

We struggle in different ways.

I always struggle with doing what I feel is the right thing to do.

Should I do this?

Should I be there?

Should I say this?

Or do that?

I usually strive to always go with the answer yes and follow through.

But in times when I don’t the guilt arises.

Grief and dealing with those emotions of loss and feeling confused and hopeless are never easy. For anyone.

They are never just so.

Never perfectly one sided or crystal clear.

They are murky and layered with struggle and obstacles.

I guess what I am trying to say is we need to step away from our little self inflicted pictures of what should be done and see that everyone handles things differently.

You do what you have to do.

You do what you feel is right.

And god is the only one who can judge that.

I have strong beliefs in always doing the right thing, and I fall short many times, but the right thing for me may not be the right thing for someone else.

If someone is struggling with something, or coming to grips with something difficult it is not my place nor anyone else’s place to judge them.

I wouldn’t want someone to judge me.

And it is so easy to point fingers and blame in times of hurt and pain.

But we all have walls.

Whether we believe it or not.

We all have things we don’t always feel we can handle.

We often dive into the realm and needs of self preservation.

When someone leaves us, will we be able to handle it?  Or handle seeing that person go through such and ordeal of deterioration?

Humans have mastered many things, but dealing with grief and loss isn’t one of them.

I suppose generations will not change that.

There are things we will never understand.

Reasons why people get stricken with long term illnesses.

Why them?

Why now?

Why this family?

And we will never know.

And in these times we  struggle and despair.

We are confused, we are angry, we place blame on God, on others, on ourselves.

But is that any use?

Unity, love, family, that is what we need to focus on.

Even if you’re not there, if your heart is there- god knows it, they know it, you know it.

And prayers for a safe return home to you are sung throughout those unified hearts.

-<3-

 

 

 

Welcome Home. -Chapter 5

Read Chapter 4 HERE

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The bell rings.

Melanie opens it to find Oliver standing there with his hands full.

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“Hey,” she smiles.

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” he says handing her a bouquet of roses and a tray of some homemade cookies.

“Thank you, Merry Christmas to you!” She says smiling, “Come in, come in,” she says waving him in.

“Wow, the house looks great. Your mom out did herself this year,” Oliver says his eyes taking in the house he’s grown to love after all these years.

Taking off his coat, he hangs it on the nearby coat rack.

“You know her, she always does,” Melanie says as they exchange sweet smiles.

They walk through the house as family members greet Oliver with warm waves and smiles. They make it into the kitchen, where Grace stands cooking over a hot stove.

“Oliver sweetheart, we are so happy to have you,” she says coming around to kiss him hello.

“Thank you Grace, it’s a pleasure, ” he says hugging her tightly. “Can I give you a hand with anything?”

“Oh you are a sweetie but I’m quite alright, why don’t you two go mingle. The family is just dying to see you.”

Melanie smiles at the sweet familiarity, as she places the Roses in a vase and sets to moving the cookie tray to the dessert table.

“Wait…Ollie….are these…” she says pointing to the cookies.

“My famous sugar cookies….you bet…fresh outta the oven.”

Melanie smiles brightly.

“Oh my god. I love these, thank you,” she says kissing his cheek.

“No problem,” he says smiling at the physical contact.

**************************************************************

Christmas festivities and spirit are in full swing as family and friends chat and catch up over cups of wine and hot chocolate while the golden flames glisten in the center of the room warming the atmosphere.

Melanie scans the room trying to find Oliver.

She walks upstairs and sees him coming out of the upstairs bathroom.

“There you are,” she says smiling, “I thought you might have made a graceful early exit, I know the Evans Family Christmas is a bit much.” She laughs.

“Are you kidding, I would never. I love your family. I’ve missed this.”

Melanie smiles.

“They’ve missed it too. Trust me. I hear it all the time.”

They share a laugh.

“So are you back in your old room, while your home?”

“Yup New Kids on the Block posters and all.”

“Ugh! Really! I hated those posters, something about you idolizing another guy, yea that didn’t do it for me.”

Melanie laughs.

“Damn that Jordan Knight,” he says shaking his head.

Melanie takes his hand and leads him into her childhood room.

“Uh, we can’t be in here, we’re breaking house rules,” Oliver says playing the role of a college teen again.

She laughs walks over to the poster and takes it down, folding it she puts it in her desk drawer.

“There. Happy?”

“Yes.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Oliver laughs looking at her.

“What?” she says noticing a shift in the room.

“Nothing,” he smiles, looking elsewhere.

“You know that I always hated when you did that. What?” Melanie says her hands on her hips.

Oliver can’t help but smile at sassy Melanie. She comes out every now and again and it fills his heart with happiness.

“It just felt like old times, for a minute. It was nice. I didn’t want to ruin it, by stating it, or scaring you away.” He laughs.

“Well you didn’t ruin it. Or scare me away. See (she points to her feet rooted in place) still standing here.”

Oliver looks at his watch.

“5 whole minutes,” Oliver says joining in on her joke.

 “World Record I know,” Melanie says smiling and rolling her eyes obnoxiously.

Oliver laughs as he looks around her room.

 “It’s like a time warp, huh?” she says looking at him, her heart beating faster.

“Yea. It really is. I remember coming home with you during college on the weekends, and this room never seemed to change. It still hasn’t.”

“Yea mom doesn’t want it to. She’s still holding on.” She says laughing.

“Yea I know the feeling,” He says his eyes finding hers.

Melanie walks over to him and grabbing him by the shirt she pulls him into a kiss.

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Oliver deepens it wrapping his hands around her waist, his hands sliding into the back pockets of her jeans, pulling her closer toward him.

Melanie pulls away, out of breath.

“Now we’re really breaking house rules,” he says looking at her through heavy eyes.

“We’re about to break a few more.” She says walking over to her door, she locks it.

“Melanie. Are you crazy? There’s a house full of people,” he says his eyes widening, but smiling at the same time.

“So…we’ll be quiet.”

“You are not quiet.”

“Hey!” she laughs.

“And I can’t promise that I’d be that quiet either.”

“Ok now you’re ruining the moment.” She says walking over to him.

“Ok, I’m sorry I’m shutting up now.” He says falling into another heated kiss.

Melanie cups his face, as Oliver’s hands slide up her blouse.

She begins to unbutton his shirt, she pulls it off, throwing it to the side as he by passes the buttons on her shirt, lifting it up over her head.

Making their way onto her bed, they fall back into a sea of floral sheets, blankets and limbs.

Oliver hovers above her, his hands wandering.

“I love you.” He whispers before kissing her again.

Melanie looks up at him, her legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer, she gasps, as her hands grip at the sheets.

Oliver smiles and kisses her. He notices something on her hip, glancing down he sees the name Cody tattooed in script with a crown on top of the Y. His eyes begin to water.

“When did you get this?”

“My first year in New York,” she says kissing the side of his lips. 

“Great minds,” he says pointing to the same name inked on the inner part of his upper arm.

Melanie smiles up at him.

“It’s beautiful…I love it and I love you so much,” she managers to say in a whisper. 

He smiles as she pulls his neck toward her, to allow his lips to meet hers.

Their hands intertwine over their heads.

*************************************************************

Melanie lays there, exhausted, her heart pounding.

“Well, that still works too.” He says smiling uncontrollably as he stares up at the ceiling fan spinning slowly.

“Did you think it wouldn’t?” she says smiling in his direction.

“I knew it would, we were always really good together. Besides this attraction was always gonna be there, I knew it the moment I met you.”

Melanie smiles and leans in to kiss him.

“You know we probably still have a few minutes before dinner is ready…” she says looking at him.

“Really…well whatever shall we do?”

“Only one thing comes to mind…” she says kissing him, he smiles and rolls on top of her, kissing her as her nails dig into his back, a groan escaping him.

“Take that Jordan Knight.” He whispers as Melanie laughs mid kiss.

**************************************************************************

 Melanie and Oliver rush out of her bedroom. She stops in the hallway to check her reflection in the hall mirror.

“You look beautiful. Let’s go before people realize we’ve been gone.”

“Wait.” She says turning and wiping lipstick off his lips.

“What…that’s not my color?” he says seriously.

“Shut up!” she says hitting him playfully.

Oliver grabs her hand and pulls her to him, cornering her against the wall, he kisses her, his lips holding her there with him, as Melanie becomes like putty in his hands.

“You can’t seriously be ready for round 3,” she says breathlessly, against his lips.

Oliver smirks and looks down at her chest, her cleavage just enough to give him some ideas.

He reaches up and begins to unbutton her blouse as her lacey white bra begins to peek out again.

“Oliver!” She says laughing as her hands stop his.

“I’m always ready.”

“Yea well we can’t do it right here in the hallway!” she says giggling.

“Not like we haven’t before,” he says smiling of lover’s past, his eyebrows raise.

“Shh!” she laughs falling into his kiss as he continues to undo her blouse,” she laughs as she grabs at his hands, trying to stop them.

“Seriously Oliver, look, I love you,” She says grabbing his face and looking at him intently. “But people are going to notice we are gone.”

“Mmm, I love you too,” he says cupping her face and grabbing her into a kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” She says looking at him before kissing him one more time.

“I’ve missed you too,” he whispers as he kisses her again for longer than the last.

She pushes him away with a laugh.

He laughs “Just go, go!” he says swatting her butt as she squeals, they rush downstairs.

Just before the last landing, Oliver grabs her by the arm, pulling her to him, and plants a kiss on her lips quickly.

Melanie smiles and then fixing herself she walks into the living room as Oliver walks the opposite direction.

Melanie walks over to her girl cousins who stand in a circle chatting.

“What’d I miss?”

Her cousin Julissa turns to her, “where the hell have you been, you’ve been MIA for like an hour and a half?”

Melanie’s face turns red.

“Just around.”

****************************************************************

Cassie walks up to her and pulling her to the side she whispers, “So how was it?”

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“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Melanie says her cheeks on fire at this point.

“Really because you look like you just had your world rocked. And not the kind that lasts 5 minutes, Ms. gone for an hour and a half.”

“I- (Melanie smiles and laughs) don’t know- what you’re talking about.” She says again taking a sip of her wine.

“Admit it, you and Oliver just had sex.”

“Cassie. Shhhh.” She says her eyes widening. “That kind of thing should not be broadcasted to my entire family and town on Christmas. My dad is right there.”

“Hmmm, yea right there, talking to the man who just ravished his daughter. That is just poetic.” She laughs.

“Shhh, please.”

“I’m just messing with you. But seriously how was it?”

Melanie looks across the room to find his eyes meeting hers.

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They share a moment before continuing their conversations.

“I’m still pretty weak in the knees, if that answers your question.”

“Damn I’m so jealous. Dave got stuck working this weekend, no sexy fun for me.”

They laugh.

“You look happy,” Cassie says smiling at her friend.

“I am happy. Something just feels different. Being with him, it feels right.”

“Well good, maybe you guys can finally get that second chance, you’ve deserved after all these years.”

“Maybe.” She says looking over at Oliver again to see him laughing and talking with her family. A new hope ignited.

**************************************************************

Melanie comes up behind Oliver and hands him a cookie, he turns and smiles.

“Thank you.”

“Ollie…They are so good.”

“Really? Better than…what we just did in your bedroom.” He says his eyebrows raising.

Melanie’s eyes widen and her mouth drops, “Shhhh, Ollie.” She hits him in the chest as she looks around to see if anyone heard.

He laughs “nobody’s listening.”

“We are both in the same room with my entire family and half the town, of course someone is watching or listening,” She says rolling her eyes.

“Well is that so bad, that they find out?”

“I’m not worried about them finding out that we’ve been getting closer, but yea the sex part I’d leave out.” She says laughing.

“Fine, I promise not to mention it again while we are here, but you have to answer my question…”

“Yes your cookies are amazing, better than I remember- but nothing compares to what just happened in my bedroom,” she says leaning toward him in a whisper. 

“Twice,” he says raising his eyebrows and going in for a sweet kiss.

“I’m still recovering, ” she says whispering after his kiss.

Oliver’s eyes glisten as he smirks, he glances around and pulls her behind the wall of an archway, away from eye sight and kisses her.

Cassie notices and smiles.

Melanie kisses Oliver back as her hands wrap around his neck.

“So when do we get to do that again?” he whispers.

“I don’t know. The Evans family has some major Christmas plans. Weekend long plans.”

“Come home with me, tonight. I’ll bring you back in the morning, they’ll never know you were gone.”

“Oliver.”

“It’s either that or I’m sneaking in your window tonight.” He says smiling.

She laughs and kisses him.

“I’m in.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.  But I’ll come over. I’ll sneak away after everyone goes off to bed.”

Oliver smiles and kisses her as he leans her against the archway wall, his hands pulling her waist to him, and her hands-one cupping his face the other wrapped around his neck. As mistletoe hangs above. The kiss escalates as Oliver’s hands begin to dance along Melanie’s lower body.

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“I want you.” Oliver whispers kissing her swiftly as she bites her lower lip in agreeance. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you, this, us being together. It’s all I’ve been fantasizing about all these years,” he says staring into her eyes.

Melanie smiles as her hands fall to his chest, her eyes looking into his.

He kisses her passionately.

Cassie peers over and her eyes widen as she rushes to step in.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Are you two crazy!”

Oliver and Melanie freeze and the bubble they have been in fades.

“There are kids here. I am really thrilled for you too. That you’re still so hot for each other. Tickled. Really. But if you’re trying to be stealth I gotta say you’re failing. You may wanna cool it, your family is literally right around the corner.”

Melanie and Oliver separate and look at her.

“You’re right. Thank you,” Melanie says her face heating up with embarrassment.

“It’s just ya know….mistletoe,” Oliver says pointing up.

“Yea I bet,” Cassie’s says smiling as they start to go their separate ways.

Melanie pulls Oliver back to her as he smirks, she glances around and opens the downstairs bathroom door, pulling him in after her.

*************************************************************************************

“Hey sexy, you on your way,” Oliver says answering his cell.

“I can’t come, Ollie.”

“What-why not? Is something wrong?”

“It’s been so amazing getting to be with you like we used to, it’s felt like no time has passed. But time has passed and so much has changed. We’ve been living in this bubble and when the holidays are over it’s all going to come crashing down. I just don’t think it’s best that we continue messing around.”

“Messing around… that’s what you think we’re doing?  I love you and I’m pretty sure you love me. Or were you just in the moment and said it just to say it?”

“Of course not. I do love you.”

“I just don’t understand it. I have understood everything, but this is bigger, Melanie. God I knew this was going to happen, I shouldn’t have let us get that far. I should have stopped it. But silly me, I actually thought you wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you.”

“Don’t say that, Oliver. I did want to be with you, it was wonderful, I just-“

“No. You weren’t ready and I should have known that.”

“Oliver stop. This isn’t you. It’s me, it’s my problem.”

“I get that it’s been confusing being back here and reliving our past in some way. But that doesn’t mean that what’s been happening with us, between us isn’t real. Because I felt it. When I had you in my arms, I knew I never wanted to let you go. And now you’re back to running. I knew it. I knew you would do this. But you know I’m sure you are loving this. Now that I’m finally reacting the way that you want- the way you expected. It’ll be easier to leave now that we’re fighting, right?”

“Nothing about this is easy, nothing about this is what I want. I hate this. I hate that I feel like I can’t trust what I’m feeling.”

“Can you trust what I’m feeling? Can you listen to me when I say I want you, with me, forever? I love you, I’m in love with you, come over. Please. We don’t have to do anything, we can just talk. We need to talk. We need to figure this out, once and for all.”

“Ollie I-can’t.”

“You know, I have always been here, even when you didn’t know it, or want it, I have always been here hoping to get you back at some point. Hoping that you would come home to me and let me be the one you lean on. But you know what as much as I wish that I can be that guy for you, forever, I can’t. I can’t do it anymore. It is mentally and emotionally exhausting. And part of me just feels like maybe I’m just the one pushing this. Maybe it’s not what you really want. So you know what Melanie if being apart is what you want. Then I guess this is goodbye. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and I hope that it makes you happy,” he says through his tears, choking up.

He hangs up.

“Ollie, Oliver? Oliver wait.” Melanie sits crying as she sinks to the floor in her childhood bedroom.

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To be continued…

*I do not take credit for any images or gifs used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

Welcome Home. – Chapter 2

 

Read Chapter 1 HERE

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Melanie steps out on her front porch, wrapping her long knit sweater tighter around her, as she folds her arms over her chest. She looks out into the town she’s always known.

Kids running around playing tag, couples riding bikes, a family throwing around a football. The freshly fallen leaves kicking up in the commotion and the wind.

Smiling to herself, Melanie walks over to her porch swing. She sits and begins to rock gently.

Stopping after a short time her eye catches something, she stands and walks to the end of the porch, placing her hand on the railing. Her fingers run over an imprint-Oliver and Melanie 4 Ever.

She smiles as she sees his face flash in her mind.

 “What are you doing?” he asks as she carves the first few words.

“Nothing,” she says with a sly smirk and glances over at him before resuming the task at hand.

“You’re parents are going to kill you.”

“It’ll be for a good cause.”

Oliver peers over her shoulder and wraps his arms around her.

“Forever huh?”

Turning in his arms, she faces him, smiling.

“What, you have a problem with that?” Melanie says is her sassy tone.

“Not one.” He says smiling as he inches his lips toward her before planting a kiss on hers.

“I love you,” he says whispering, his eyes staring into hers.

“I love you too,” she says leaning up to kiss him.

They part ways and share a small nervous laugh.

“I was really nervous to say that.” He says looking down.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I mean don’t get me wrong I wanted to say it, I’ve been dying to say it. It just never felt like the right time. I wanted it to be perfect. I know I’m such a dork.” He says laughing at himself.

“You’re not a dork. You’re perfect,” she kisses him with a sweet peck.

“I just -sometimes I worry I’m too much for you.”

“What? Ollie?” she says cupping his face in her hands. “That’s crazy!”

“No. I just mean that like- I know I can come on kinda strong. (he pauses trying to search for the words to explain) You mean a lot to me. I’ve never felt like this before, I don’t always know what I’m doing.”

“Everything you’re saying I’m feeling that too.”

“Really?”

“Yea, this is all new to me too. But I love you and I want to see where that takes us.”

He smiles at her brightly as he pulls her into a kiss.

“I am so happy to hear you say that. I love you,” he kisses her.

Melanie smiles up at him, her eyes beaming with love and hope.

 Melanie is brought back to reality as she hears a scuffle of feet.

“Knock, knock.”

Melanie looks up hearing the familiar voice.

Her childhood friend stands at the top of the porch steps, knocking on the wooden panel.

cassie

“Cassie!” Melanie says smiling brightly as she rushes to her, embracing her in a hug.

Melanie’s tears cannot be held in anymore, as they spill from her eyes.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Cassie says concerned for her friend.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to keep it together, but I guess all of the nostalgia, it’s just…” She says wiping her eyes.

“Too much?”

“Yea. I mean sometimes I am so happy to be home to see you and my family. But then I get this anxiety. I feel like I’m drowning in everything that happened and in my regrets of how I handled it all.”

“Mm, that’s understandable. What you went through was traumatic.”

“I know but it’s been years, I feel like I should be rounding some corner.”

“You can’t be mad at what you feel. Or how long you feel it. There is no set way in how to deal with this situation. And there isn’t any right or wrong way either.”

“Really because I think if you asked anyone if my leaving was the right or wrong choice, they’d say wrong.”

“You know I love you, and I will forever be here to support you, but even I will admit, I couldn’t believe it. But at the same time, you did what was right for you. And god help Oliver, he understands.”

“Present tense?”

“Yea it is. He still understands why you did what you did.”

“So you’ve spoken to him, recently?”

“Come on Mel, that’s no secret. You know I’m with Dave, and Oliver is Dave’s best friend,” she says shrugging awkwardly. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not picking sides, I don’t think there are sides.”

“I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m being such a child.”

“Let’s talk a walk, yea?” Cassie says talking her by the hand and pulling her toward the steps.

“Yea, I think I could use some fresh air, to clear my head.”

“Yea it’ll do you some good.”

Cassie and Melanie set off to walk through town.

As they pass house after house, the cool breeze chilling the air, Melanie looks around taking it in.

Memories floating throughout the air.

Silence setting in. Deafening.

“Hey? If you wanna talk, I’m here.”

Melanie looks over at Cassie with a simple smile.

“I know, you always are, 5 years couldn’t shake it, thank you.”

“Coffee? for old times’ sake,” Cassie says smiling, and pointing to their favorite coffee shop- Mrs. Bean.

“Duh?” she smiles as they walk into the shop.

“I’ve got it…hazelnut latte right? (Melanie nods with a smile), why don’t you grab a table?”

“Ok I’m on it.” She says turning and walking toward a table.

She sits and takes her coat off, settling in.

Melanie looks around and smiles feeling the warmth of the heat and the smell of coffee beans and baked treats.

The bell above the store door chimes and in walks Dave, Melanie looks up and smiles faintly as the lines of their vision meet. Immediately, Melanie’s stomach drops when Oliver soon follows behind him.

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Dave stops short and Oliver looks at him questioningly, until he sees Melanie sitting there before him, he too stops dead in his tracks.

Cassie turns around with the coffees in her hands to find a sight to behold. Her jaw drops and instinctively she wants to jump in, but gives it a beat.

Oliver’s eyes lock on Melanie, unsure of what to do, he stands there, hands in his pockets. Wanting to say so much. Melanie bites her lower lip and looks down, her hands clasping at each other- trying to feel grounded, to be present, to feel some sense of control. Anxiety creeping in, taking over.

Cassie comes over.

“Hey guys, babe.” She says kissing Dave on the cheek. “Why don’t you and I take a walk, give these two some time to catch up?”

Dave looks between the two star crossed lovers, a glimmer of intensity in Oliver’s eyes and a fear like no other in Melanie’s.

Cassie exchanges a look with Melanie as she hands her the latte, a look of reassurance.

Melanie takes a sharp breath in.

“I guess we’ll see you guys later. Good to see you Mel. We’ll have to catch up.”

Melanie nods, “You too, and absolutely- I’d like that,” she says smiling faintly.

Oliver stares on. Unable to take his eyes off her.

“See ya bro,” Dave says patting Oliver on the shoulder as he takes Cassie’s hand and walks them out of the coffee shop, the bell chiming startles Melanie.

“May I?” Oliver says gesturing to the chair across from her.

Melanie nods yes.

“So…what’s it been Mel…5 years since we’ve actually had a full conversation?” he says his voice holding a light joking tone, his smile sweet, his eyes flickering with a familiar spark.

“Sounds about right, give or take a few.” Melanie says looking down at her coffee, avoiding his eyes.

“It’s good to see you Mel, You look amazing.”

“Thank you. You too. I like the beard.” She says trying to smile.

“Thanks, I figured winter’s coming. Why not, right? So how are things, how’s New York?”

“It’s good. Busy. Very fast paced. I’m grateful for the distraction.”

“I hear that,” he says knowingly. “So Cassie mentioned you’re working with a new publishing company?”

“Yea.”

“How’s that going? You write that book of yours yet?” he says smiling.

“Not quite. I’m more in charge of seeking out new writers these days and getting their work published.”

“What? Why? You’ve always wanted to get your own book published, what happened?”

“What do you think happened?” she says looking up at him.

Melanie looks away, her eyes welling up.

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“Melanie…hey, I’m sorry- I…I was just trying to…”

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry,” she says getting up grabbing her coat, she rushes out.

Oliver starts to get up to follow, and then stops himself. Sitting back down, he runs a hand through his hair in frustration with the distance that has wedged itself between the two of them. He stares looking after her.

*********************************************************************************

Melanie splashes cold water on her face and looks at her reflection in the mirror.

“Who are you?”

She says looking at herself.

Sinking to the floor, her tears fall freely.

To be continued…

-<3-

2016 Memory Jar Review

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!!!!!!

I cannot believe it is already 2017.

 

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My camera year is wrong…should say 2016, ignore that mishap. :/

 

As I sat down on New Year’s Eve to sift through my memory jar- a bandwagon that I finally hopped on two years ago- I was amazed at how little I felt like I did, because of how quickly I felt the year had flown by. It was a blur for me. But as I dove into these colored pieces of paper, the many memories came flooding back….and a lot actually happened. It’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in the holiday bit at the end of the year, that we forget all the memories we made throughout the year.

So here are some of my most favorite memories- (in no particular order!)

 

*My 2016 Highlights*

 

Took my god daughter to see Trolls- “Sophie’s big girl movie date”- Trolls, went to a diner, and saw the Christmas Lights with my family.

 

Had a little Walking Dead Season 7 Premiere Party but… RIP Glenn still heartbroken: / haven’t watched an episode since then, but my party looked awesome. Read my post HERE!

twd-viewing-party

Celebrated my grandmother’s 83rd birthday with a whole bunch of family.

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I made a few job changes and had to bounce around a bit, which was a bit difficult but finally found a place where I am happy for now, it was for the better- I’m building a work family and have made some great friends. Read my post on “adulting” HERE!

Finished two short story series-On The Run & Love Conflicted (-premiered in 2015 but carried over into 2016)

Official full cast photo movie poster

Started a brand new series- Welcome Home (-first chapter premiered in 2016, rest will be continued in 2017)

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My best friend Roe got engaged!!!!

roe-got-engaged

Went on a massive family trip to Great Wolf Lodge and had a blast! (vlog will eventually get edited!)-Read my post HERE!

great-wolf-lodge

Why does my camera have the wrong year? How do I fix that?

Sophia Bush retweeted my tweet and my phone blew up….

sophia-bush-retweets

My brother got married and he and his wife bought a house.

r-and-l-wedding

I entered one of my scripts into a writing contest! (although nothing came of it, it was a huge leap that I took, and I was really proud of myself for facing that fear.)

I got free movie passes for covering a story in my local theater, my best friend Jenny and I saw Finding Dory in 3D…because why not?

I’ve realized that I can overcome my anxiety on my own, but the help that I have received has been a gift I will continue to utilize.

My best friend and I finally saw Bethany Joy Lenz in concert and WE MET HER! #LifeGoal –Read my post HERE!

bethany-joy-lenz

Fuller House seasons 1& 2 are killin’ the game #NetflixIsDangerous

fuller-house

I went for bridesmaid’s dresses for my friend Jenny’s wedding-I was asked to be her maid of honor last year.

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I went on The Polar Express with my god daughter and other family members. (vlog will eventually get edited!)

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I worked for a summer camp, and my kids made some really great story books for my creative writing class.

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I hosted a Gilmore girls: A Year in the Life- Netflix revival….viewing party- Read my post HERE!

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I got a vlog up on my YouTube channel, and have been vlogging more, but editing has been a slow process. I WILL GET THERE!

I finally got to pretend to be a YouTube vlogger and did a Mini “Vlogmas” from Dec. 23-Dec. 31 into 2017 (Stay Tuned!)

My brother and I started to shoot the first installment of our zombie short, but it got halted because…. #WeddingCraziness #BridalShowerCraziness

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michelleleighwrites turned 3!!!!!!! Read my post HERE! (It’s turning 4 in a WEEK!!!!!!)

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 Justin Timberlake released new music & a video – Can’t Stop The Feeling! (he also produced the soundtrack to Trolls (What a beautiful, fun loving film, highly recommend seeing it!). Read my fangirl report HERE!

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Valentine’s Day Girls Nite In with my girls.

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Celebrated my Aunt Mary’s birthday  with some dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant and had some Pepsi- her favorite drink. Love you Aunt Mary, Miss you!

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Bruno Mars new album, listening to it as I write. So obsessed! #24KMagic #Chunky #ThatsWhatILike #VersaceOnTheFloor #Finesse LISTEN

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Rocked some obnoxious Christmas Lights for the holidays. #BestDecisionOfMyLife #5BucksWellSpent #ShoutOutToStrangerThings

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Received some handmade Christmas cards from my students.

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30th Birthdays Celebrations- We hosted a big family dinner for my sister in law and went on an AC family trip for my brother.

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Family BBQ’s!!! #Cousins

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Best Friend Weekend. – Even at 25, my best friend and I still keep our sleepover tradition going. It started off going to the Zumba class that my best friend teaches, then we had some dinner at her house (BBQ chicken my fav at their house hold-like old times), next we watched our favorite tv show One Tree Hill until 4 AM, Went for breakfast the next morning, got manicures, and shopped a bit. It was so nostalgic and it was just what we needed. #BestFriendMiniWeekend #RoshellWeekend

That Zumba class tho-I had been trying to get to one, forever!

Britney’s back bitches! #GLORY album is just….EPIC! Read my post HERE!

glory

Rainbows.

Pineapple float- #SOTRENDY

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Took my mom to see the Radio City Spring Spectacular- it was her mother’s day gift and it felt really great to be able to do that for her. What a brilliant show. Visually stunning!

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Got hooked on Murder Mystery 13 Part Series American Gothic- so damn good! #SHOUTOUTTOBETHANYJOYLENZ

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Started Stranger Things #NetflixIsDangerous

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Attended my best friend’s engagement party.

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Continued with the annual chop.

 

Dressed up in Hawaiian theme attire for my cousin’s birthday party.- Read my post HERE!

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Finally got to rock the yellow, red, blue look I’ve wanted to try for forever! Read my post HERE!

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After the chop, had to try out some new hair do’s – Reverse Space buns.

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Marina Squerciati answered my tweet, (cuz we’re besties) ;). #thathashtagtho

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My parents treated me to a massive birthday dinner at my favorite restaurant. Got my big gold number balloons too! #BlackAndGold #Family #Friends Read my post HERE!

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That TWD finale tho. #WHOISIT? Read my feels HERE!

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Started an unintentional tradition of taking massive group family photos/selfies.

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Bridal expos with my bestie. #MaidofHonor #OnCall

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My cousins from Florida surprised us with a quick visit!

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Curvy Barbies (and other body shapes and sizes) are a thing! #FINALLY #Variety

Read my post HERE!

curvy-barbies

 

That *NSYNC picture. #reunion #myheart

 

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Met our newest family member! My god daughter is a big sister!

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Started watching a few new tv series- This Is Us (I have to catch up, I’m so behind) and Shades of Blue.

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*****

Damn a lot can happen in a year. I am grateful for the blessings 2016 has given me. Of course it wasn’t all marshmallows and honey all the time, but I still fought through obstacles and made beautiful memories. Cheers to 2017, may it be beautiful and happy and healthy for all of you, filled with love and inspiration and success. See you soon friends!

*Most images are my own.*

-<3-