Dumb Luck- A short script

“Dumb Luck”

A short script

Written By Michelle DeSantos

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Fade In; Establishing Shot: [a city street, cars honking]

Fade To: Setting: [INT. Neil Drake’s NYC studio apartment…his bedroom at Morning]

Scene 1: [High angle, aerial shot of clothes scattered across the floor, then pan over to Neil and a girl in bed]

Neil is sleeping with his latest hookup at his side; he has a dream of being with Haley.

*Insert flashback scene of Haley and Neil laying in bed as she smiles at him he brushes the hair out of her face.*

Back to the present and Neil’s alarm clock sounds loudly as he jolts up to find the other girl next to him, he shuts the alarm and sits up, his head in his hands. Seeing a picture of Haley and him on his end table he lays it face down and gets up and walks into the bathroom, to start his day.

CUT TO:

Scene 2: [INT. Neil Drake’s bedroom]

Neil is dressed for work and putting on his watch as the girl wakes up.

Neil: “Hey babe, I’ve got work, here’s some money for a cab,” he says throwing some her way, and grabbing his briefcase as he goes to leave. “But hey, last night was fun,” he says with a smirk and a wink as he leaves.

The girl sits up, and wraps herself in the blankets, as she goes to get her cell phone from her purse; she sees the picture laid down turning it over she looks on sadly, feeling used.

Girl: “Asshole,” she whispers running her hand through her hair in frustration.

(Molly V.O. – off screen) “There seems to be something said about those who are good outweighing those who are evil, but then again maybe you’ve never met Neil Drake.” (Between scenes 2&3)

CUT TO:

Scene 3: [EXT. City Block outside Drake’s Apartment]

Neil Drake is walking out of his apartment, feeling quite pleased with himself, he puts his I-pod on and hits play, as she struts down the block; nodding and throwing a smirk at a girl passing by walking her dog.

CUT TO:

Scene 4: [EXT. Outside of a train station]

Upon entering the subway station, he spots a 20 dollar bill, picking it up he puts it in his pocket with a happy grin.

CUT TO:

Scene 5: [INT. Train Platform]

The moment he gets down to the platform, the train arrives, as he gives the girl next to him a once over and she smiles back flirtatiously.

CUT TO:

Scene 6: [INT. Advertisement Office]

Neil sets into his office looking over some new advertising ads, as his secretary comes in.

Molly: “Good Morning, Mr. Drake.”

Neil: “Morning Ms. Molly.”

Molly: (Noticing the girl in Neil’s latest advertisement campaign) “Hmm classy, something tells me she woke up in your bed this morning.”

Neil: “Oh you know me so well,” he says dramatically with a sexy smirk and a slight laugh. “Do I have any messages?”

Molly: “Personal, yes…Business related, no.”

Neil smiles as she hands him his messages.

Molly: “Can I make an observation?”

Neil: “Of course, maybe even over dinner sometime,” he says looking up at her from his desk with a smirk.

Molly: “I don’t think so.”

Neil: “Why not?”

Molly: “Because the observation I was talking about, doesn’t exactly paint you in the best light.”

Neil: “Well lucky for me, I really don’t care what you think, and if you have a problem with my professional skills, I would be happy to fire you.”

Molly: “Oh do you mean lack there of, and don’t worry firing me won’t be necessary, because I quit.”

Neil: “Molly, wait, come on. I was joking you don’t have to get so serious all the time, you know I’d be lost here without you,” he says with a sarcastic smirk.

Molly: “Oh, I’m touched,” she says sarcastically clutching her chest, “You really don’t get it do you?”

Neil: “Get what?” he says with a sly smirk, flirting with her.

Molly: “You walk around this office like the world is yours, you treat women like their disposable to you, but trust me, I can have a sexual harassment suit drawn up so fast, that you wouldn’t be able to charm your way out of even with the best lawyer money has to buy,” she says leaning over his desk.

Neil: “Why, Ms. Molly is that a threat?” he says getting closer to her, as the desk acts as their only barrier.

Molly: “No, it’s a warning,” she says throwing his mail at him, and leaving his office with a strut.

CUT TO:

Scene 7: [INT. Advertisement Office]

Later that night Neil was getting his things ready to leave to meet yet another girl, when he stops to look at the picture of him and Haley on his desk, he then opens his desk draw and takes out a ring box and opens it as he is hit with yet another memory.

*Insert Flashback, of Haley crying as she throws a key at him, and storms out with her bags packed.*

Molly: “Heading out for another fun night with yet another poor naïve girl, Mr. Drake?” she says coming into his office from her cubicle just outside, as Neil hurriedly puts the picture down, and throws the ring back in his desk draw.

Neil: “Don’t you ever knock! — Look we need to get something straight, don’t make the mistake in thinking you can hold your little threat over my head, we both know your credibility is shot, no one is going to back you up, they all love me, I’m a great boss,” He says smirking and leaning back in his chair with his hands out.

Molly: (she sits on the edge of his desk) “Really, what about Karen from marketing, you know the one you stood up every time you asked her out, and Rebecca from printing, the one you only hired because she was pretty and oh gosh and then there’s always Haley (she says picking up the picture of him and Haley) the love of your life who you… cheated on, right?… Yea something tells me neither of those women are very fond of you.”

Neil: (Hearing her name he feels sucker punched) “Who told you about Haley?” he says looking up at her with shock and grabbing the picture from her hands.

Molly: “I have my sources, Shall I go on?” she says standing up, hands on her hips; challenging him.

Neil: “What is it that you want from me, exactly?” he says standing up and leaning on his desk.

Molly: “I want you to stop what you’ve been doing?”

Neil: “What is it to you what I do, and who I do it with? Oh wait, I get it, someone’s a little jealous,” he says touching her chin flirtatiously.

Molly: (She slaps his hand away angrily) “No Jackass, I couldn’t care less about you, but I happen to care about how you treat people, especially people who are a part of my life; (Neil looks on confused) Wow! You really don’t remember do you?” she says laughing and folding her arms.

Neil: “Remember what?” he says curiously with a sexy grin.

Molly: “Haley’s my sister.”

Neil: “What?” he says, his face falling.

Molly: “Well, half- sister but who’s counting right?” she says with a dismissing wave of hand.

Neil: “No, NO, I would have known if Haley had a sister, we were together for 5 years.”

Molly: Really? Or were you just too self- absorbed to even realize I wasn’t around because I was away at boarding school for a special design program. But then again she probably told you that, you just neglected to remember, because you were always too busy thinking about yourself. I’ll try to hide the hurt, (she says touching her heart dramatically). It’s a shame, you had it all, and you threw it away in one night, you’d think you would learn a little something from it, but I guess not,” She says about to leave his office.

Neil: “How is she?”

Molly smiles to herself as she turns back towards him.

Molly: “She’s great! She’s doing great for herself; and somehow she gets more and more beautiful everyday. But that’s none of your business anymore now is it?”

Neil: “Is she seeing anyone?”

Molly: (she laughs sarcastically) “You really don’t get it. You know I feel sorry for you, because one of these days you’re going to wake up in the middle of a life you despise, because the way you treat women is despicable. You’re a womanizing- insensitive- manipulative, excuse for a man- and my sister is lucky to be rid of you,” she says getting in his face.

Neil: “Maybe you’re right.”

Molly: “Oh I know I am,” she says in a whispery tone, folding her arms in satisfaction.

As Neil rushes past her and into the hall to unleash his pain, he closes his eyes as Haley flashes in his mind. *Insert Flashback sequence of Neil and Haley…*

“Naley” Montage:

Their First Meeting; at a Frat party, Haley is walking toward the bathroom and Neil bumps into her not looking where he was going, he apologizes and they both stare at each other as his eyes follow her after she leaves; instant spark; as if in slow motion.

Their First Date; ice cream, they sit at a small table and they talk. She’s laughing at something he says as he reaches over and wipes ice cream off her upper lip. She smiles at him and he stares at her.

Dancing Scene; at a party; they dance together, and she’s laughing as he twirls her.

Play Fighting Scene; In his apartment, on his couch, he’s tickling her and she’s laughing as she tries running away from him, but he catches her.

Funeral Scene; Dressed in black, she’s crying sitting on his coffee table he kneels in front of her and kisses her forehead as he sits next to her and holds her.

Birthday Party Scene; She brings out a cake for him and everyone sings to him, as he just stares at her lovingly.

Move in with me Scene; She comes over all cute and she brought him some homemade food, he smiles at her, and she kisses him on the cheek. She sees him just staring at her and he hands her a key, and she just looks at him shocked. “Move in with me?” he says. She streaks, hugging him.

Vacation Scene; A view of tropical trees and a stranger snapping a photo of them as they laugh and joke around.

She finds out Scene; Haley comes home to their empty apartment, she has some bags from shopping. She gets her coffee and sits at the table as she flips through a wedding magazine for fun. A texting noise is heard, she checks her phone but it isn’t hers. She finds Neil’s phone under the couch with a text message from another woman. Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth in shock. Neil comes home to find her bags packed. He looks at her with a nervous face. She’s angry but she begins to cry. He reaches for her then pulls back as his eyes begin to water, he doesn’t know what to do. They have it out and the relationship ends. Haley grabs her bags and goes to leave he grabs her and she shoves him off, she throws his key at him as she leaves.

**Conversation Guidelines for Flashback #9; “she finds out scene”

Neil comes home from the gym, to find a very upset Haley sitting in silence. He sees her bags packed, and her tear stained face.

Neil: “What’s wrong?” He says afraid to ask.

Haley: “Why don’t you take a wild guess?” She says looking at him angrily.

Neil: “Haley… I can explain,” he says nervously.

Haley: “Explain? (She laughs) There’s nothing to explain, your little friend called, she wants a repeat of the other night.”

Neil: (with tears in his eyes.) “I’m so sorry, it was a stupid drunken mistake, and it didn’t mean anything,” (he says walking toward her.)

Haley: (she stands up) “Don’t touch me; (she says defensively) what did you think that I wouldn’t find out? That you would go on acting as if it never happened; as if you never cheated. This whole time, I’ve been walking around without a clue as to who you truly are, how could you do this?”

Neil: “I wanted to tell you, I did, but I-”

Haley: “But what? There’s a difference between wanting to tell me, and actually doing it Neil. I can’t believe this is happening,” (she says turning away from him, crying, as she folds her arms across her chest trying to comfort herself.)

Neil: “Haley I was scared, I was so scared that if I told you that I messed up, you would leave me. I wouldn’t be able to handle that,” (he says reaching for her.)

Haley: (turns quickly around) Messed up? This isn’t forgetting to buy milk, or forgetting to make dinner reservations Neil, it’s forgetting that you made a commitment to me. And if you can forget that then I can’t be with you,” She says grabbing her bags and going to leave.

Neil goes to grab her, but she pushes him away and leaves, as Neil sinks to the floor, with is head in his hands.

(Flashbacks end)

CUT TO:

Scene 8: [INT. Restaurant waiting for a re-date with the girl in bed from earlier; Kelly]

***Kelly walks into the restaurant and Neil immediately gets up to greet her.

Neil: “Hi,” he says shameful of the way he treated her last time he saw her.

Kelly: “Hi,” she says in a tone of voice that let’s Neil know, she hasn’t forgotten.

Neil: “Thanks for agreeing to meet me.”

Kelly: “Well, imagine my surprise when you actually called, begging for a second chance.”

Neil: “I wasn’t exactly begging.”

Kelly: “Really- well then,” she says turning to leave with a playful smile on her face.

Neil: “Ok! You’re right, I did- kind of beg, a little.”

Kelly: “I thought so,” she says smiling.

Neil: “So- will you stay?” he says gesturing to their table.

Kelly: “I guess so,” she says sighing and giving him a skeptical glare, as he pulls her chair out for her.

Neil: “I’m really sorry about-”

Kelly: “You’re hit and run,” she says smirking and cracking her knuckles.

Neil: “Yea, (he says embarrassed) I acted like a complete-”

Kelly: “Dick.”

Neil: “Yea. I really am sorry. I should have never treated you the way I did.”

Kelly makes an expression agreeing with him.

Neil: “But I’m really glad you came.”

Kelly: “Are you?”

Neil: “Yea,” he says looking at her seriously, “Do you think that we can maybe, start over?”

Kelly: “Well,” she says sighing, “that depends.”

Neil: “On what?” he says with a nervous laugh.

Kelly: “On whether or not you’re paying,” she says taking a menu from the waitress as he looks at her with a smile.

CUT TO:

Scene 9: [EXT. Kelly’s Door Step.]

Kelly: “Well, I have to say I’m surprised.”

Neil: “Why?”

Kelly: “That you lasted the whole night, without slipping up.”

Neil: “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he says with a small laugh.

Kelly: “I don’t need to have confidence in you; you need to have confidence in yourself. You know by first glance you’re a really cocky guy, but it must really suck to lose the love of your life… I’m guessing that’s why you’ve become such a ladies man.”

Neil: “What are you- talking- about?” He says confused.

Kelly: “Neil, I’m studying to become a lawyer ok, cracking the case is a part of my life, (She says with a laugh.) The modeling I do for ads like yours, are just to pay my way through law school. I’m not just some stereotypical blonde bimbo, I do have eyes and a brain. But you’d know that if you looked past my body and actually got to know me. A guy, who still keeps pictures of his ex- in his house, means that most likely he screwed up and can’t get over it. Am I close?” She says squinting at him.

Neil: (laughing with a small sigh) “You’re very perceptive,” he says looking down.

Kelly: “Neil- I won’t be your rebound. I deserve to be with a guy who wants me for me; I won’t be a second rate version of your ex when I know I can have a man that wants a first rate me.”

Neil: “Kelly I-”

Kelly: “Goodnight Neil,” she says kissing him on the cheek and walking up the stairs to her house.

*Insert Haley Flashback; Haley laughing and kissing him on the cheek goodbye when they first met at a frat party.*

As Neil turns to walk down from Kelly’s doorstep, looking at his phone he scrolls through some old pictures of him and Haley, then upon looking up he sees Haley, and she’s laughing and on the arm of another guy, as they kiss he spots a big diamond ring on her finger, and he stands there in the shadows shocked, hurt and alone.

Molly: (V.O. – off screen) “And sometimes, evil doers get exactly what they deserve… For the first night in a long time Neil Drake went home alone.”

CUT TO:

Scene 10:

Neil walking home alone down a dimly lit block.

CUT TO:

Scene 11: End Scene [INT. Neil’s Apartment; at night]

Voicemail recording: “Hey Neil, its Molly. I hope our little run-in last week didn’t cause you too much heartache. Anyway you’ve got an obligation to your clients and your workers Neil. So…get your ass back to work, and I’ll try and go a little easier on you.”

Neil sits at home depressed and lonely. He hasn’t shaved in a few days and is still in pajamas. He’s drinking away his pain with alcohol. As bottles upon bottles of liquor cover his table, he continues to drink.

*Insert quick flashback- Neil passes by Molly’s cubicle and notices a picture of Haley, and her fiancé Drew on her desk; and next to it is a wedding invitation. Picking it up, it’s as if reality had slapped him in the face, as his eyes become watery.*

Remembering that moment; Neil takes yet another drink.

A knock comes at the door; Neil gets up aggravated and opens it.

Haley: “Hi,” she says looking down at her fidgeting hands.

Neil: (notices her ring is gone) “What are you doing here?” he says looking her over as his heart beats faster; he’s shocked to see her at his door.

Haley: “I don’t know,” she says laughing slightly. “I was engaged, I was engaged to a wonderful man, who has been only good to me, and-”

Neil: “Was engaged?” he says with hopeful eyes.

Haley: “Yes, and now I’m standing here at your door, and I don’t really know why,” she says shrugging as her eyes become watery.

Neil: “I think you do,” he says putting his hands in his pockets as his eyes stare right through her.

Haley: “I guess for some strange reason I just needed to see you, Molly told me you’ve been asking about me.”

Neil: “You know- I never did let you go, I still do love you, and I’m so sorry.”

Haley: “I don’t know if I can believe you,” she says looking up at him through glossy eyes.

Neil: “You can, I swear. Haley you can,” he says grabbing her into a tight embrace.

Suddenly Haley vanishes from his arms, and Neil jolts up from a long sleep; seeing a peacefully sleeping Haley lying next to him, he feels relieved and pulls her toward him as she snuggles against him; her body fades away. Neil wakes up at his table with bottles around him and a picture of him and Haley shattered on the floor, as the sound of the answering machine continues to beep.

-The End-

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This is a script I wrote back in college. It was one of the first full ones I wrote. It’s really rough around the edges format wise and even content wise. But I think there is a good story there. I just thought it’d be fun to share.

I attempted to shoot this a few years back. But we never got through the full script, due to scheduling issues. I was so ready, with my organized binder of ideas. I even made my “actors” (and by actors I mean my family and friends) take cast pictures. My photographer brother was even in the process of working on a movie poster for me, I should see if I can dig that up, that would be kind of cool to show you guys. I also had my Neil and Haley characters pose for couple’s photos that served as prop/set photos. (I’ll include a few below) Needless to say the filming didn’t pan out and I was pretty heartbroken. But I did get to shoot a really raw, uncut version of the “Naley” Montage. It’s terrible quality and I didn’t even know to use mics. But I am really glad I have that gem. It makes me feel nostalgic. Mind you this was before I knew the beauty of different angles and editing. #freshman. Hey we all have to start somewhere right? I haven’t gotten consent from my actors to release the footage so a few pics will just have to do.

What do you think of the story? Were you surprised by the ending? Or were you secretly hoping Haley would eventually find her way back to Neil? Tell me all the things! P.S. Molly’s MY favorite character, because you never see her coming!

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The actors who played Haley & Neil 😉

Naley evening

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*Morals of the story*

Don’t Cheat.

You can’t always get what you want.

Karma will eventually catch up to you.

-<3-

*All images and script content are of my own merit and brain and are of my own personal property, hope you enjoyed reading!*

-<3-

Is vulnerability a bad thing?

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There are things in life, I think we all have difficulties dealing with.

That urge to feel loved and accepted. Wanting to feel understood. Wanting to feel like our thoughts matter.

Starting a new journey in life. A new school, a new job, a new relationship.

Dealing with things that scare you. Fear can be crippling.

Anxiety, stress, depression. Death.

It is human nature to feel overwhelmed when your world dims and you feel like you’re slipping into darkness.

And when that happens it is also human nature to feel your feelings. To cry, to be angry, to want to yell and scream and stomp around like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

But what stops us from doing so?

Fear of being judged for feeling. For succumbing to life’s deepest heartaches.

I hate crying in front of people. I hate showing my deepest worries. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bother to others around me, or a sign that I’m not strong enough to handle what life has handed me.

For some reason we’ve been conditioned to feel ashamed of our emotions. To feel that if we somehow lay our cards out on the table for people to see, that somehow that makes us weak. So we hide it, or we let it all out in private.

I’m starting to try to let go of that. I’m trying to embrace the emotions and the feelings I have at the moment, and just ride that wave and cry it out. You’d be surprised how the weight that you’ve been carrying gets a little lighter after you’ve talked to someone, and had a good cry. The downsides are sometimes a splitting headache, puffy red swollen eyes, and the emotional drain and feelings of fatigue. However, sometimes it’s just the price you have to pay for an emotional release.

It’s been said that to be strong for someone else you have to be a rock. You have to hold in your emotions so that you can be there for them, because it isn’t about you. It’s about being there for them, and showing support. Letting them do all the crying while you just continue being the shoulder they need to lean on.

Are we robots? Are we not supposed to feel for someone going through a difficult time?

Sometimes no matter how hard you try your emotions will come, and if you are pushing them down so far, they will just build up until you explode.

I’ve carried this notion around with me for almost my whole life. That the best thing you can do to support someone in their time of need is to lock up your heart and keep it together.

Pull yourself together girl.

But as human beings isn’t it natural to feel for others. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. To feel what someone else is feeling. To be there with them. To cry with them. To put yourself in their shoes and to understand their pain. I don’t think tears are a sign of weakness, in fact I think it’s a sign of how strong we all are. How we can cry and get it all out and then somehow manage to pull ourselves back up and continue this journey of life.

Life isn’t easy. It is filled with scary what ifs and sometimes they overcast their darkness on what should be a beautiful experience. Life is meant to be lived and yet we get caught up in the fear. The fear of the unknown. Wondering what the next day would bring or what our futures held for us, used to be an exciting notion. As kids we’d dream about what we’d be when we’d grow up, and how our lives could be so grand. Dreams were at our finger tips.

So what changed? Why has society allowed simple human beings to feel as though being vulnerable is a bad thing? Because if you ask me, if we were all more honest and forth coming with our emotions the world would be a much more simpler, and happier place. We’d be happier.

Sure wearing your heart on your sleeve isn’t always going to work out. Sometimes you’ll get your heart-broken, sometimes the people you trust can disappoint you and may not react the way you’d like them to. But risking it can be worth it. Because in your heart of hearts you’ll know you were honest. You were human. It takes courage to be brave and show your heart.

So the next time you feel like the world is getting the best of you, don’t be afraid to feel it. Don’t be afraid to show it, or to cry it out. I know its taboo and it’s hard to be so vulnerable in front of others. But if you show who you are to people, they may just show you who they are. Your family and your friends care about you, and I am sure they only want to help you. Showing them your vulnerable side may just bring you all that much closer. It also may give them the freedom to feel like they can confide in you when they feel they need someone to talk to. There can be something so beautiful and inspiring about transparency. I’ve had so many candid, uncensored conversations with friends about real things, and I’ve never walked away regretting being vulnerable with them. Because I found that in way, we all deal with similar things.

It’s a slow process; learning that it’s ok to be vulnerable. I know. I am still working on it myself. And I still find that I stifle my emotions at times. But I’m learning that you don’t always have to do that. You can’t control how you feel. You should never have to feel like what you’re feeling is wrong. No one can ever tell you how to feel. They are your feelings. So own them.

*I’ll leave you with this for some inspiration… ❤

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any music, links, or images used.*

13 Unanswered Questions; Fangirl Life

So as the cleaning out and reorganizing my bedroom is slowly coming to a close, I have to share with you my adorkable findings.

Here is a list of questions I found that the teenage version of me would ask none other than Justin Timberlake, if I got the chance. These questions are very talk show interview esque (because duh, #fangirl).

Judging by these questions I’d probably date this back to anywhere over 9 years ago, so I was still a teen (so cut me some slack! I know these questions/comments are lame, haha.)

*Cue the nostalgia….

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Questions for Justin

  1. What nationality are you? I’ve read many different things. I know Timberlake is an Irish name? So?…
cheers

The man likes to drink, so I mean come on… Irish is a given, right? #ImIrishToo #ButNotMuchOfADrinker #SoTheresThat #Stereotypes 😉

*2015 Update: This question has always haunted me. I still don’t know the answer for sure.

2. Do you regret being a member of *NSYNC? Because you seem so almost aggravated when you get asked about the band. I mean speaking personally I grew up listening to *NSYNC, Britney, Christina. I was a 90’s kid and that would just break my heart if you regretted it. Because you guys as a group were a huge part of my childhood.

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*2015 Update: HAHAHAHAHA (no but seriously sometimes this question still applies.)

3. How do you manage to stay so humble in this business, and with everything you’ve already accomplished? I mean you’re still young and you’ve already done so much; music, acting, a clothing line, restaurant, golf course, a fragrance. I mean many wonder if there’s anything you can’t do?

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*2015 Update: Clearly I’m in awe of him, and maybe there’s some unintentional flirtation going on here. haha.

4. Do you no longer have a desire to make any new music of your own? I mean I know you’ve been working with a number of artists since your last album, but just for you personally, have you given any thought to touring again? Or is that just not a possibility anytime soon? I mean just lift my spirits, you will eventually be making a third record right?

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*2015 Update: The pain that was those 7 Justin Timberlake music-less years. But if teenage Michelle only knew the whirlwind that was to come. 3 attended concerts and 2 albums later, I’m a solid believer he’s never going anywhere.

5. I know you meet a lot of people and a lot of fans, but is there any that you actually remember and truly value meeting? Or are they all just one big blur of fans?

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*2015 Update: *Hint hint *cough cough, will you remember ME?

6. I know you’re very close with Ellen. How did you two meet, and what made you two become so close?

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*2015 Update: Gosh, I’m so nosy….although hey I’d still like to know. Although it seems his new bestie is Jimmy Fallon 😉 #ISupportThat

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*FYI JT AND Ellen were on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon last night.

And spoiler alert…it as EPIC!

7. I know you did a lot of work on SNL. What would you say was your most memorable memory from set?

*2015 Update: Dick in a box? No? Maybe? Yes.

8. How did it feel to win an Emmy? Was it more of an honor than a VMA or a Grammy?

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*2015 Update: Seems like I’m trying to set him up here, haha.

9. Do you still keep in touch with the guys of *NSYNC?

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*2015 Update: They do and I’ve seen the instagrammable pics and that makes my heart smile. 🙂

10. I read somewhere that you have 2 younger brothers is that true?

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*2015 Update: (They are his half brothers.) *Hint hint, um can you hook a girl up? 😉

11. How did you learn of Michael Jackson’s passing? How did you feel? And did you reach out to the family at all? Or attend any memorials?

*2015 Update: Legend leading legend.

Oh and then there’s this too.

12. All relationships aside, how would you describe your perfect wife?

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Mrs. Timberake. The last stage of grief is acceptance my friends. 😉

*2015 Update: *Hint hint *cough cough…let’s get married. #SorryJess #ForgiveMe

13. Do you want kids in the future?

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Pictures-Justin-Timberlake-Jessica-Biel-Baby-Silas[1]

*2015 Update: (that’s a big fat YES)  BABY SILAS….OMG YOU ARE THE CUTEST!

But

Before I go…

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Come on now, you didn’t think I’d leave you without a creepy photo shopped photo, did ya? Did I creep you out? Good. 😉

Love from a JT fangirl.

-<3-

The letter that went unsent

As promised more embarrassing acts of my teenage self.

Long story short, this is me trying to pull a “My Super Sweet 16” circa MTV style and get a celebrity appearance at my 16th birthday party. (um FYI this is from 8 years ago and now I feel ancient.)

In this letter, I really crack myself up, who did I think I was….haha.

This is back when fanmail was a thing, before the days of twitter.

Dear Bethany Joy Lenz-Galeotti,

(now currently back to Lenz)Bethany-Joy-bethany-joy-galeotti-18441547-387-602

First of all let me start off by saying hi, I’m Michelle DeSantos and I love One Tree Hill. In fact it’s my all-time favorite show. I love your character Haley, in fact my friends and I call each other oth names and I’m Haley because I’m so similar to her. I mean I can’t sing quite so amazingly as you and I’m not a married 16 year old but we have a lot of the same qualities. Anyway I love the whole Haley and Nathan relationship, it’s so sweet and you guys are so good together. I love James he’s an amazing actor and I think he’s really grown from season 1 as did you. However as far as all the women on the show you are my favorite, I just admire you so much. You are truly my idol. You are beautiful, smart, and amazingly talented. The main reason I’m writing however is because, my sixteenth birthday is coming up in March, the 26th actually. I was just wondering if you could possibly come and perform a song or two. I understand if you can’t, I mean I know I’m asking a lot and I know that you’re a busy woman but it’s just that it killed me to miss the oth tour and if you came it would be the ultimate icing on, my cake. It would be an honor to have you share in my birthday experience with me. Also if any of your oth co-stars can attend that would be so COOL! Pass it on, especially James I LOVE HIM!!!!

Thank you for your time,

God bless,

Love,

Michelle DeSantos ❤

P.S. the actual invitation with all the details is attached.

(haha I was so fancy!) I really laid the compliments on thick, huh? #flatterywillgetyoueverywhere 😉

*2015 Update: I still adore this woman! She still inspires me, and cracks me up!

*Joy’s Blog:

http://wishyouwereherelife.com/

************************************************

What was my Sweet 16 really like?…AWESOME!

my entrance

My entrance with my brother.

friendsss

I had the DJ play the oth theme song “I Don’t Wanna Be”- By Gavin Degraw on a loop throughout my candle lightings. Here I’m lighting a candle dedicated to my oldest friends and my dais girls.

I’m pretty sure I never sent this letter and my present self thanks my past self for that. #embarrasing16yearold #sorrybethanyjoy #ILied #sorrynotsorry #ImAFanGirlForLife

Hey Bethany maybe we can meet up one day, and do brunch? Isn’t that what all the cool kids are doing nowadays? haha 😉

What would that look like… #crappyedits

brunch

#besties 😉

I mean let's not forget this DID happen, and I DID freak out!

I mean let’s not forget this DID happen, and I DID freak out!

-<3-

 

High-school & College Advice.

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So I was talking to my younger cousin a few weeks ago at a family party. She’s about to enter high school and I wanted to share some thoughts with her. Considering I’ve been where she is, looking back now there are things I know for sure that I would have done differently. And I wanted to share some of the lessons I learned along the way with her, because I know that I wish I had someone to tell me these things when I was just starting high school or transitioning to college.

I told her the best advice I could give her was to take high school seriously.  Take your interests seriously. And to follow them. Some people chalk their interests off to being just a hobby, something to past the time. Well guess what time is precious and obviously if you’re using it to do something you enjoy, it means something to you. And that’s the best way to spend it. Your interests may point you in the direction of your future career. Try everything, and explore what you’re good at. This way when you get to college you’ll have a much clearer picture of where you want to go, and who you want to be.

I think there’s this misconception about high school and college. That high school is just there to get you the grades to pave your way to college. A time to still be immature and go with the flow. Your future is years and years away. But guess what? It creeps up on you pretty quick. And before you know it you’re a freshmen in college trying to navigate semi adulthood. Wondering why the hell you feel so ill prepared for all of this.

At the same time, people think college is the time to find yourself, and find what you want to do with your life. You don’t have to declare your major until your second semester anyway. But guess what? In college, shit gets real. And if you prep yourself in high school, your aim will be much more precise in college. College can definitely be a time to find yourself, but all’s I’m saying is don’t limit yourself to your comfort zone. It’s nice to have a schedule and to find your groove, but trying the things that scare you, and going after the things you want are much more rewarding. Don’t hesitate, be the person you want to be. Be the best version of yourself. Go for it! Try out for your school talent show. Create a new club. Enter a contest. Meet new people. Make new friends.

I’m not saying to give up your high school years, be a kid, have fun. But do the work. You’ll never regret it in the end. Because it will pay off.

I’ve always been a school kid. It’s always been my thing. Even if I wasn’t particularly good at a subject, I’d try. I’d get tutoring, I’d ask to do extra credit. I worked my ass off. And I’m proud to say that in college, I wrote papers like a boss. And somehow I managed to find my groove in every class. (Even philosophy) My shit was together on an academic level. But I found out too late that I was in the wrong place for what I really wanted my career to be.

I went into college having an idea of what I wanted, and came out with a more precise view. Some people would say that now is the perfect time for grad school. It’s always been on my radar, it’s something I’d like to do in the future. Go to school specifically to study the art of screenwriting, writing for television and film. But I can’t fathom taking on more loans at this point. It’s just not feasible. The only thing is now I feel like I still have so much more to learn. In my case college was only my first step. And I’m sure that’s true for many. But I’m someone who wants to have a plan and now that plan is all out of whack. I wish I would have done all that soul-searching in high school, then I would have been way ahead of the game, once I got to college.

End result is, we can’t go back in time. All we can do is move forward. And make the best of the now. Going to college and finding what I want to do and getting to explore a few ways to tell stories through video and writing was a vital piece of my life’s puzzle. I don’t regret that. But now I have to take it and put it to good use. Everything in life is a stepping stone. This was just my first one. Time to find my next one. Good vibes and good things to come.

So I leave you with this. Study your craft. Do research. Ask questions. Try. Fail. Try again. Plan ahead. Bond with fellow peers with similar interests, pick their brains. You’re gonna need them around later to give you feedback on your work. Choose the right school for you. I can’t stress that enough. But most importantly find something you love to do. And if you find your interests vary, do it all. Because you can. That’s what double majors are for. Breathe. Take breaks. Learn the beauty of a mental health day. Understand it’s a lot of work, but you can do this, and you will get through this. And Graduation day will feel all that much sweeter. Find what you love, and go for it. Too many people in this world, have jobs they hate. And if you ask me, that’s a shame. No one should hate going to work in the morning. It’s a terrible way to live. Because pardon the outdated term but, You Only Live Once.

Best of Luck this year young-ins!

You got this!

Rock what ya got!

-<3-

How To Be Productive

I have been feeling kind of stuck lately. And so when that happens I usually end up on YouTube. And I’ve noticed a trend coming on. Many people have been posting videos on how to be more productive and how to have less stressful mornings. Now I am not a morning person per say. I have become more of a night owl; I like to stay up late and then it’s hard for me to wake up early. So this is a bad habit that I’d like to shake, because I want to make my days count. I want to be more active and get more done. Time is precious and I don’t want to waste it anymore.

Tips I’ve gathered

Change your sleeping schedule, so you can get up earlier, and get an earlier start.

*I’ve started to do this, and I’ve noticed it just puts me in a better frame of mind when I know I have more time in a day to do the things that I have to do. The later you wake up the less motivation you will have.

Exercise; get outside.

*I’m not much of a nature girl, but I’ve tried a few in door exercise options to see how I like them. I tried a guest pass at a gym recently, went to a few kick box classes (that seriously kicked my ass, so not my thing), and I try to get in a Yoga routine every now and then. I have a yoga dvd that has an AM & PM routine and I have a yoga mat at home and I try to do it at my convenience. That takes the pressure off of it.

Listen to upbeat music while you exercise.

*I usually just listen to the yoga music, the video provides, because anything else conflicts with the routine. But I will say that there is an album that I have  been really having a spiritual connection to recently. I guess that’s the only way I can describe it. Joy Williams, thank you for being the badass woman you are. You are an inspiration. My favorites include; Woman (Oh Mama), Not Good Enough, What a Good Woman Does, & Welcome Home.

Drink lots of water throughout the day, hydration is important.

Plan out your day (use a notebook and get them to do lists down)

*This has been really helping me focus. My mind sometimes gets bigger than me, and I feel like a spastic monkey. Yes a monkey. So this has been helping me keep my thoughts in check.

Clean up your room/make your bed

*Ever since I re-painted my room and got my own space, I have been a little OCD about keeping things in place. It’s a good feeling though to feel like I know where everything is and it’s the way I want it to be. A simple thing like making your bed, can make you feel like you’ve got your life together.

Read

*Ok so I’m not too much of a reader, but I will say that I love me some entertainment news. I catch up on all the gossip via Facebook. Thanks Ryan Seacrest for being so reliable. However, I’ve also been trying to check in on my local newspaper to see what’s going on in my hometown. I really don’t love watching the news. I think it’s just so depressing and it contributes to my anxiety. But I don’t want to be naïve, I want to be informed. So I’ve been trying to check in on things.

Write

*You know this is my bread and butter. Start a journal. Spill out your feelings. Emotionally throw up onto the pages. It’s okay. It’s going to make you feel good to get it out. And if you’re feeling extra spunky; start a blog!

Take breaks

*The same way your body needs time to recuperate from things, so does your brain. It needs to rest. It needs to re-charge. So take breaks when you feel you need them, don’t feel bad for needing a minute. It’s normal. You can’t be on the go 24/7.

Find inspiration

*Listen to music, Watch TV, Movies or YouTube videos, Spend time with friends and family.

Prep lunch/snacks, clothing, purse the night before your big days.

*This will help your mornings be less crazy.

And speaking of less crazy mornings…these two videos really spoke to me. Thanks girls! ❤

****Book recommendation:****

And lastly, I’ve seen a lot of people talk about this book.

the life-changing magic of tidying up

the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing

By Marie Kondo.

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*I’ve been renovating my room and have been overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I have and nowhere to put it. So this book is looking like a must read for me.

What are your productive morning/day tips?

-<3-

Surprise.

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The Days are fading.

The night creeps in.

The strength she’s willing,

it all runs thin.

Wild eyes.

Classic nights.

Big surprise,

you fought, the fight.

Walls up.

Heart guarded.

Insanity not fleeting enough.

You never finished what you started.

Both at fault.

Imperfect.

Left,

let it be.

She whispers,

why didn’t you fight for me?

Wild nights.

Classic eyes.

Fire within,

burns so bright.

Where ever they were going,

the journey cut short and still.

Fabric frayed.

The flame fizzled.

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

You be you,

I’ll be me,

She whispers.

Now we have to deal with moving on,

guess it wasn’t meant to be.

We both lost the fight.

Surprise Surprise.

-<3-

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

“Trapped”

trapped

Michaela walks into the elevator, she presses the button for her floor.

The doors slowly close.

She begins to hear one of her favorite songs playing over the speaker.

She smiles and closes her eyes for a second, listening.

Give me love like never before,
‘Cause lately I’ve been craving more,
And it’s been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go.

Ding.

The elevator stops on the next floor, she hears the doors open.

Opening her eyes she is faced with a young good looking man.

He smiles at her. She smiles back.

He gets in, pressing the button for his floor, and then steps beside her.

Michaela is suddenly nervous.

The man glances over at her.

Michaela ignores the awkward tension that has apparently filled the elevator the moment he stepped in.

Although she could swear she’d never seen this man before, there was something she couldn’t put her finger on.

At this point the man turns to her yet again.

She’s had it and turns toward him.

Staring at him blankly.

Caleb: I’m sorry. Forgive me. I’m staring.

Michaela: That’s kind of obvious, but it’s not obvious why?

Caleb: I just, I feel like I know you…from somewhere.

Michaela: I guess I just have one of those faces.

Caleb: No…it’s more than that. I can feel something. Like a memory.

Michaela: (rolls her eyes) Look I’m gonna be completely honest with you here, I’m not in the mood to be hit on by yet another guy who isn’t ready for a real relationship. Been there done that, and I am so over boys disguising themselves as men. Wearing a suit doesn’t make you one.

Caleb: (laughs) That’s not what I’m trying to do. But it’s good to know.

Michaela: (softening) I’m sorry. (she laughs) It’s been one of those morning. You know when everything in the world decides to go wrong. I guess I’m just stressed.

Caleb: Hey no harm no fowl. (he holds his hands up in mock surrender)

Michaela smiles and takes a sip of her coffee unsure of what to say next.

She anxiously looks at the floor levels as they pass by;

17, 18, 19…

Is no one else needing to take the elevator this morning? She thinks.

20, 21, 22

Just as her floor is about to approach, the elevator drops, the lights dim, and there are noises that Michaela knows can only symbolize bad news.

The elevator halts.

Michaela’s stomach flips.

This has always been a fear of hers.

She wasn’t good in small spaces.

Michaela and The man exchange looks

Michaela: No?

Caleb: Looks like we’re gonna be here for a while.

Michaela: No. We can’t. Are we stuck? We can’t be stuck.

Michaela looks around frantically. She begins to press buttons like crazy.

Caleb: Hey hey, I don’t think you should do that. It may make things worse.

Michaela: What could be worse? I have so much to do today. And I am going to be late to my presentation. Oh my god I can’t breathe.

Caleb: Ok. Look at me, Ok?

He grabs her hands and looks her in the eyes.

Caleb: Take a deep breathe in,

Michaela follows his coaching

Caleb: And now breathe out.

Michaela breathes out.

Caleb: Ok let’s try it slower.

Michaela slows down her breathing but she’s still in a bit of a nervous panic.

Caleb: Just look at me. Focus on me. Breathe. You’re okay. I got you. This is just a momentary feeling, you’re having a bit of a panic attack, it’ll pass.

Michaela: And what if it doesn’t, what if we never get out of here?

Caleb: We will. I’m going to press the emergency button now ok. Someone is gonna come help us.

Michaela: Ok.

Caleb: Can I leave you for just a minute?

Michaela nods reluctantly, her grip on his hands tightening.

Caleb: Ok, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. (smiles) Come on, come over here.

The man brings Michaela over to the panel.

He presses the emergency button with one hand as he holds onto her hand with his other.

“Emergency services how may I help you?”

Caleb: Um hi, hello. We are currently in the elevator and it seems to have stalled or stopped in between floors.

“How many passengers are in there with you?”

Caleb: Just one. Me and a young woman.

“Are you both ok?”

Michaela looks at him with worry in her eyes.

Caleb: Um yes, but we need to get out of here. Soon.

Michaela: Please, please send someone to help, I can’t be in here much longer.

“Ma’am do you have any medical issues?”

Michaela: No I just hate small spaces. I’m a bit claustrophobic, and you need to get me out of here before the walls close in.

“I understand ma’am, just try to stay calm. Take deep breathes, if you have some water take small sips or chew some gum. I will get a repair man over there for you now.”

Michaela: Thank you.

“I will keep you posted on his progress.”

Caleb: Thank you ma’am.

Michaela closes her eyes and leans her head back against the wall. She sighs anxiously.

Caleb: Hey, you’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be out of here soon.

Michaela: I hope you’re right.

Caleb: Here, (he takes off his suit jacket and lays it on the floor.) Why don’t you sit?

Michaela sits.

The man kneels in front of her, reaching into his work bag he hands her a water bottle.

Caleb: Here, take small sips. It’ll help.

Michaela: (takes the bottle from him)

“Ma’am, sir? I have a repair man about 20 minutes away. You will be out shortly.”

The man smiles

Caleb: Ah look at that, good news.

He sits next to her.

Michaela: Thank god.

Michaela sips the water and starts to calm down a bit.

Caleb: How ya feeling?

Michaela: A little better.

Caleb: Good. (smiles)

Michaela: Thank you.

Caleb: Sure.

Michaela: I’m sorry, I just have this thing, with small spaces…

Caleb: Hey, I get it. Don’t even give it a second thought.

Michaela: You’re kind of a sweetheart.

Caleb: (smiles) Well at least that’s a step up from…what was it? A boy disguising himself as a man.

Michaela: (laughs) Yea. Again, sorry about that. (she winces, embarrassed) You are all man.

His eyebrows raise.

Michaela: Oh gosh…why did that sound sexual? I just meant that you know you seem like a gentleman.

Caleb: (laughs) I know what you meant.

Michaela: Ok. (she laughs nervously, her cheeks turning red.)

Michaela looks away.

Suddenly feeling strangely aware of the fact that this guy is gorgeous.

Caleb: Can I ask you a question?

Michaela turns back toward the man.

Michaela: Sure. It’s not like we’re going anyway.

They both share a laugh.

Caleb: Do you believe in soulmates?

Michaela: Hell yes.

Caleb: Can I ask, why?

Michaela: Because I believe that there’s someone out there that you’re just meant to be with. Your heart is meant to find their heart. And life will somehow align your lives. And you’ll meet and the rest is history.

Caleb: Or is the rest up to you? Or us? I don’t think that people realize that you have to do some of the work. Fate and destiny only go so far. Sometimes you need to take the leap.

Michaela: So you think, people need to make love happen? That’s not exactly the most romantic thing.

Caleb: No not necessarily. But I do think that we often let love slip away. Love isn’t always going to hit you like a lightning bolt. It may not even look like love at first glance. Love is in the quiet moments. In the small things you share with someone. Whether it’s someone you’ve known for years and start to see in a new light, or a stranger you get stuck in an elevator with.

Michaela: See but some may call that fate… or destiny. (she smiles)

Caleb: True, but like I said the rest is up to us. So what do you wanna do?

The elevator lights go off.

Michaela’s voice is heard in a soft whisper.

Michaela: Take the leap.

The elevator lights come back on.

Michaela and The man are holding hands.

They smile at each other.

As the elevator jolts and finally makes it to the next floor, the doors open.

The two of them gather their things and stand up.

Michaela begins to walk out, but the man pulls her back in, catching her off guard, he kisses her.

Michaela pulls away taken back, but a smile spreads across her face.

Michaela: What’s your name?

The man smiles.

Caleb: You really don’t remember, do you?

Michaela looks at him confused.

Caleb: Let’s just say the last time, fate decided to let you walk away from me. This time, I wasn’t leaving anything up to chance.

Michaela: Oh my god. Caleb? You-

Caleb: I’ve changed a lot over the years; lost weight, got contacts, and got a lifetime subscription to proactive. (he laughs)

Michaela: You look great.

Caleb: So do you. Your eyes still sparkle from a mile away.

Michaela: (blushes, and looks down at her feet) Will you call me?

Caleb: You can count on it.

Michaela hands him her card, and kisses him on the cheek.

Caleb: I’ll be seeing you.

Michaela: Yes you will.

-End Scene-

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edit.*

-<3-

Writer’s Corner

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“Get out of your own way”

I’d like to tell you that I have full belief in my writing capabilities. That I believe I am good, and can own anything that comes my way. But I’d be lying. It’s not that I don’t believe in myself, I know I can write and I know I can write well. But self doubt and insecurity is the way of the world, and unfortunately sometimes, it wins. So as writers, what do we do when that happens? We write anyway. And we continue to write. I’ll be honest sometimes I’ll spend hours on a post, and then just before I post it, I second guess it. And I wonder if it’s even worth posting. If I gave it my all. Truth be told there isn’t a post I don’t dissect. But yet I continue to post anyway. When I sit back and think, I come to the same conclusion. Being a writer is my only choice here. I guess it’s like falling in love, it just happens, and you have to go with it. This is my calling. And although I may not have my shit together just yet, and I still have a lot of soul searching and growing up to do. I think having this realization in the back of my mind, even though at times I forget it, having it to refer back to is so important. Because not doing this, isn’t even an option. Now being a writer isn’t exactly the best way to make money. I myself am coming to the conclusion that sometimes part-time work is going to be needed to make some cash, and give you some stability in your life. But giving up on that dream is not in my line of vision. It can’t be. I don’t think my brain or sanity could take it. Too many stories to tell. So when the walls start caving in and you feel like you’re going to emotionally explode, get out of your head. And get out of your own way. And just do what you do best. Write. Because writers feel things deeper than most, and when we tell those stories, someone out there in the universe is going to get it, and feel gotten. Keep fighting, keep striving, and know that there is always a safe place for the written word here on Michelle Leigh Writes. Soldier on my friends.

   *I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

Strength

Every Sunday, at church it always seems that the readings and the Gospel kind of just apply to whatever it is that is going on in your life. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Not by a long shot.

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So I just want to share with you something that truly inspired me:

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.– Corinthians 12:7-10

******************************

It is in our greatest weaknesses, and moments where we question our path, and our life that we gather all our strength. That we pick ourselves back up and keep going forward.

Hold onto this…. ❤

* I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-