Love Conflicted- Chapter 2

May 14, 2015August 27, 2021michelleleighwrites 1 Comment

Previously on Love Conflicted…

Read Part 1 HERE

Maggie walks into her apartment, closes the door and breathes a sigh of relief.

Leaning against her front door, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a bag.

Taking out a box; a pregnancy test box.

Maggie sighs walking into the bathroom.

******************************************************************************************************************

Maggie stands in her bathroom facing her mirror, even she doesn’t know how to feel, even she can’t read her own expression.

And now she waits. Looking at her phone, the timer she set counts down;

2:58, 2:57, 2:56…

In 3 minutes…

In just about 3 minutes her life is either going to be catastrophically complicated OR it’ll go back to some sort of normalcy.

“Who am I kidding, my life is already complicated,” Maggie thinks.

She glances at her phone again.

1:58, 1:57, 1:56…

“Deep breaths, just take deep breaths,” Maggie thinks and she breathes in and out, slowly trying to calm her obvious nerves.

Before she knows it Maggie notices her timer ticking rapidly down…

10, 9, 8, 7…

“It’s like the most bizarre New Year’s countdown you’ll ever see,” Maggie thinks.

“Great make jokes,” she scolds herself internally.

Her phone timer goes off. It’s time. Her fate awaits.

Maggie stills.

She picks up the pregnancy test and looks at her reflection in the mirror.

“I feel like I should be crying. Like I should be sad or…something.” She thinks.

Maggie: Stop overanalyzing and just look at the damn thing. (she says out loud)

She goes to look at it and then stops.

Maggie: On second thought, I don’t wanna know…not tonight.

She throws her test in the trash.

Maggie gets ready for bed and sits on her bed reading a book with a cup of tea nearby.

Before she knows it, it’s morning and the sun is peeking through her curtains.

Maggie wakes up slowly, stretching her arms out above her head. She feels good. It’s a new day.

And then it hits her. The fate of her and Ricky’s relationship hangs in the balance. And the unanswered question or rather the key to her dilemma is sitting in her bathroom trashcan as we speak.

“If it’s positive all the more reason to try to make it work. OR all the more reason to stay far far away from Ricky and his dangerous life.” She thinks.

Maggie gets up and walks into her kitchen, she looks in her refrigerator and takes out some eggs, as she begins to make herself an omelet.

Maggie’s mind begins to wander, and she feels as though she’s in a fog.

How long can she put this off?

How long can her sanity take not knowing?

Maggie sits at her table finishing her breakfast.

It feels like she’s just going through the motions.

She walks toward her bathroom, with the intent to take a shower.

She gets to the door, and stops.

“Maybe I’ll go for a walk, first.” She thinks.

“You’re stalling…” She thinks again.

“No, I just need some fresh air, and while I’m out I can pick up some fresh fruit and there’s some things I need to mail, and-”

“Stallingggg!!!” She thinks again.

Maggie: Shut up. (she says out loud)

Silencing the inner fight between her heart and her head, Maggie grabs a sweater, some shoes, her keys and phone, and rushes out of her apartment.

She finds herself in a nearby park, standing near a trickling fountain. It’s early morning. It’s pretty desolate. Her eyes gloss over as she becomes absorbed in the clearness of the water. Pure. Crystal. Untouched. Then she notices the sound of the water cascading. Its peaceful. Beautiful. Simple. And she lets herself stand there. In stillness. In awe. In the unknown. Maggie is content for a minute.

Until her phone starts to ring.

She sighs pulling it from her pocket.

“Back to reality.” She thinks.

She looks at it…

Ricky calling, is displayed across the screen.

Maggie sighs and hits decline.

Displaying her background screen; a sweet picture of her and Ricky; He’s holding her close and kissing her cheek while she smiles brightly.

Maggie stares at it for a bit.

Just then she hears a familiar voice behind her.

Ricky: Declining my call, yet again? I thought we were past that.

Maggie jumps and turns around.

Ricky smiles lovingly at her.

Maggie: And I thought we were past you stalking me. (she sits on the side of the fountain)

Ricky: (laughs) Oh wow. Ouch. (he joins her)

Maggie: I need time, Ricky. What happened to me calling you when I was ready?

Ricky: I don’t know. (he shrugs, matter of factly) I miss you.

Maggie softens and looks away.

Ricky: Are you ever going to be ready? Or are you just going to leave me hanging? Waiting for you to decide if you wanna be with me?

Maggie: I-

Ricky: (gets up kneeling in front of her, taking her hands) Maggie, you have me. I am at your feet, at your beck and call, hanging on your every word, wrapped around your little finger, and any other cliché phrase that shows how whipped a guy in love can be.

Maggie: You… are not whipped.

Ricky: Try me. I’ll do whatever you want. I love you.

Maggie: Ricky I just, I haven’t decided yet.

Ricky: Wow. (he let’s go of her hands, distancing himself) It’s that difficult. What does your heart tell you? What do you want?

Maggie: I don’t know.

Ricky: (standing up) Yes you do.

The truth is Maggie deep down knew exactly what she wanted, she was just to afraid to admit it to herself never the less admit it to Ricky.

Ricky: You know I can understand you needing time if I wasn’t willing to give up my job, but I am, I am more than willing to change my entire life, the only life I’ve ever known, just so I can be with you. But if you can’t even entertain the idea that you might actually be happy with me. Then I don’t know what else I can do. You need to meet me half way here Maggie. I can’t do this myself.

Maggie: I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know ok? You come into my life out of nowhere and you make me fall for you and then you go and drop this bomb on me. I don’t know what you want from me?

Ricky: I want you.

Maggie: You say that now, but what happens when you get bored? When you realize settling down isn’t what you want?

Ricky: I have always been a one woman kind of guy Maggie. I would never hurt you.

Maggie: That’s not what I’m worried about. I know you love me, and I know how loyal you are. I’m talking about the job. You live off of the rush you get when you have to do something dangerous. You can tell me you hate what you do, but you can’t look me in the eye and say you hate how powerful you feel. And something tells me the Wall Street stock market sales department won’t fill that need.

Ricky: Maybe not. But you will. Maggie, when I’m with you, nothing else matters. I don’t need car chases, or shoot outs to get a rush. My heart flies out of my chest just being in the same room as you, or just by hearing your voice. I am in this. I am so in this. (he takes her hands in his again and pulls her up to stand with him)

Maggie looks at him, at a loss for words.

Maggie: I don’t know what to say…

Ricky: Say you’ll be with me.

Maggie: You could end up hating me, resenting me…I don’t want that.

Ricky: Maggie I have never loved what I have to do in my job. I never wanted to be the guy that crossed that line. It started off with just wanting to right other people’s wrongs. Just trying to give them the fate they deserved. And justice for the ones they hurt. But the lines between who is truly good and bad has blurred. And at this point I don’t know which way is up. I had no idea what this job would turn into. How calculating they can be, and how it can consume your life. But I do know that being around you I know the goodness people can have in them, I feel the good. Before you I didn’t know love even existed. I didn’t have anyone to share my life with. I was lost and alone and I needed direction. The only pro to my job was running into you my chance. You are my sign, my direction. I have a chance to get out. And I wanna take it. I wanna take it and I want us to start over. We can be happy, you know we can.

Maggie: So you’re saying you want like… a real future. You and me. Like wedding rings and-

Ricky: Marriage, kids, a house… hell yea.

Maggie: Ricky… before we go any further here, there’s something I need to tell you-

Ricky’s phone begins to ring.

He winces, seeing who it is, and knowing it’s not making his case any better.

Maggie: Take it.

Ricky: No, it can wait. Please continue.

Maggie: No, it’s fine. Take it.

Ricky: I’ll just be a minute.

Ricky takes the call walking off to the side.

Maggie watches him.

Ricky: Yea? … What? No… No I told you not to make a mess out of this… Who saw you? …What?… I’m on my way. Hide out until you hear from me.

Maggie is hearing his conversation.

She sees the anger etched on his face.

“How can someone who is so sweet and delicate with her turn into someone so cold and hurtful. How can he go from telling her how much he loves her and wants to start a life with her, to someone ordering another’s life to be ended?” She ponders.

Ricky hangs up and turns to Maggie.

Ricky: I’m sorry. But-

Maggie: Hey- duty calls.

Ricky: Maggie-

Maggie: No it’s ok look I get it. I haven’t given you the green light yet, so why would you get out a moment too soon.

Ricky: That’s not how it is. I just-

Maggie: Just go.

Ricky: No. You need to hear me out.

Maggie: Business is business, I get it. You can’t tell me anything anyway, so what’s the point.

Ricky rolls his eyes and grabs her hand pulling her behind some trees. He shuts off his cell phone.

Maggie: What are you doing?

Ricky: Hiding from ear shot. (he scans the area)

Ricky and Maggie are pinned against a tree, hidden from sight. Stuck in close quarters.

Maggie fidgets. Too close for Maggie’s sake or sanity.

Maggie: And the phone?

Ricky: Just in case they turn on my tracking or my spyware. They can check in anytime. (still scanning the area)

Maggie: What? (Ricky and Maggie share a moment, they lock eyes)

(shaking it off) You never told me that! Ricky! We’ve been together so many times, they definitely know who I am.

Ricky: Every time we were together, I’ve been careful.

Maggie: But we’ve done things Ricky, personal things. You’re telling me they could have phoned in at any point. They could have seen things, heard things. Wha-

Ricky: They haven’t. Trust me. I would never put you in that kind of danger. Or exploit you in any kind of way.

Maggie: But they know who I am. You can’t tell me they don’t.

Ricky: They know you’re off limits.

Maggie: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GOD! Ricky!

Maggie starts freaking out and hyperventilating.

Ricky: Stop it! (grabs her shoulders, trying to calm her) Stop freaking out. I swear to you. You are safe with me. (takes her hands in his)

Maggie: How can you say that? How? How can you even think that? Do they know where I live?

Ricky looks at her.

Maggie: You’ve spent the night hundreds of times of course they do! Oh my god!

Ricky: Relax, it’s not you they are concerned with. It’s me. Look the timing of my exit has to be perfect. If I screw it up, they will not let me walk away without a fight. I need to make sure that everything is in order before I give my final notice. If I don’t secure a replacement, the right replacement, they will take that as an insult. Vouching for my own replacement is me giving them my assurance that I will not disclose any information to outsiders. If my exit isn’t planned perfectly my higher ups will disown me, and that in CIA terms means I’m dead.

Maggie: CIA? I thought you were just in the mob?

Ricky: No. That’s just my cover. I had to have a cover job in place so that I won’t be suspected, because otherwise I’m useless and can be used as collateral damage, should they need to spring clean.

Maggie: Spring clean?

Ricky: Knock out the old guys and bring in the newly trained young ones.

Maggie: And by knockout you mean kill?

Ricky: Pretty much.

Maggie: Thank you! By all means make my case for me! This is dangerous either way. All of it. For both of us. And anyone else… involved. (she catches herself and looks away quickly)

Ricky: (noticing) Do you want me alive or not?

Maggie: Of course I do.

Ricky: Then cut me a break here, Maggie. I am skating on thin ice just by telling you this.

Maggie: Oh my god. Is Ricky even your real name? Oh my god, I’m sleeping with a man I don’t even know!

Ricky: That’s not true. You know me. I haven’t lied to you about how I feel about you. And I haven’t lied to you about my name either. My name is Ricky. They call me by an alias name.

Maggie: Oh great. My boyfriend has an alias. Just what every girl dreams of hearing.

Ricky grabs her by the face and kisses her.

Maggie: Why’d you do that? (she says in a daze, her head all foggy)

Ricky: Because I’m your boyfriend. (he smiles)

Maggie: That just came out. I-

Ricky: Nope can’t take it back. I won’t let you. (he smirks at her and Maggie’s heart melts) Let my driver take you home, I’ll come see you later.

He kisses her on the cheek.

Maggie: Ricky…

Ricky turns back toward her.

Maggie: Be safe.

Ricky: You know I will. We have a future to plan. (he winks and walks away.)

Maggie looks after him, even more confused than before.

Ricky’s driver: Excuse me miss? Where to?

Maggie smiles faintly getting into the car.

To be continued…

-<3-

What’s next for Ricky and Maggie?

Do they have what it takes?

* I do not take credit of any images used in my edits or otherwise, or any gifs used. *

Love Conflicted- Chapter 1

May 11, 2015August 27, 2021michelleleighwrites 9 Comments

Sometimes a scene just pops into my head, with vague characters in mind and a greater storyline somewhere in my mind afar but still somewhere in there all jumbled up between to do lists and my obsession over Justin Timberlake. 😉 Never the less the idea usually revolves around some kind of love story. Because well that’s just my style, it’s where my mind and heart go. Sometimes those scenes get written and blossom into a full script. Most of the time they stay hidden in notebooks and notepads or scribbled on random sheets of paper and forgotten. I just stumbled upon this sneak peek scene recently, and I can’t even tell you when I wrote it, but I re-read it and now I’m thinking it has some promise for more. I tweaked it a bit and added a few scenes. I think it was intended to be the start of something longer, but like always I never got around to finishing it. Never the less, whether or not this turns into more, I thought I’d share.

Meet the guy “Ricky” and the meet the girl, let’s call her… “Maggie.”

Two people who fell for each other despite their differences and circumstances that should and probably will keep them apart. But like always life gets in the way, and things aren’t always what they seem.

I’ll call this one….

Maggie is walking out of a drugstore, she takes a peek at her cellphone and sees a bunch of missed messages, it’s just about 9 pm.

A black discreet car pulls up alongside her, blocking her from crossing the street.

The back door opens and a hand grabs Maggie into the backseat.

Maggie is about to scream bloody murder, when a hand covers her mouth, and she hears a familiar voice.

Ricky: Shh. Hey. Hey it’s just me.

Maggie: Ricky, what the hell are you doing? Are you trying to give me a heart attack!

Ricky: No. I’m sorry. I just- I need to talk to you. And you won’t answer any of my calls.

Maggie: So you choose to kidnap me?

Ricky: I didn’t want anyone following you or us. But hey by all means, there’s the door, go. If you think you can handle things being unresolved between us, then go.

Maggie sits back in a huff.

Maggie: You have one hour.

Ricky: (smiles) Drive. (he calls to his driver)

The car speeds off.

Ricky and Maggie end up in an old abandoned house. The furniture all dusty and covered in sheets. You could hear a pin drop, the house was so quiet. It was eerie.

Maggie: What are we doing here?

Ricky: I told you, I want to talk to you.

Maggie: What else could you possibly need to say that you haven’t left on the 45 messages and texts you’ve sent me.

Ricky: Ah so you did get them?

Maggie: (rolls her eyes) We’re over, there’s nothing more I need to say. It is what it is.

Ricky: Really?

Maggie nods.

Ricky smirks and chuckles a bit looking away as he walks around the dusty old living room messing around with things as he passes them.

Maggie: So what’s with all the theatrics? Just say what you want to say and be done with it.

Ricky: Oh please, the drama…you love it… you feed off it.

Maggie: (astonished) How can you possibly say that?

Ricky: Oh, give me a break, before we happened you lived in a shell…now what you’re back with that loser you used to date, come on…you’re bored otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

Maggie: Correction, I wouldn’t be here, if you didn’t keep harassing me. Or if you didn’t abduct me off the street.

Ricky: Hey I said you were free to go. You stayed. It was your choice.

Maggie: Yea well now I’m regretting it, immensely.

Ricky: You still care, I know you do. And it’s killing you. It’s killing you to be away from me, just like it’s killing me to be away from you.

Maggie: You don’t know anything.

Ricky: (standing against the wall, lighting a cigarette) Sure I do…it’s written all over your face. (he stares at her)

Maggie: (walking toward him, her arms folded in front of her chest) Oh, so what…you think you’ve got me all figured out?

Ricky: Well let’s see…your arms are crossed over your chest which means you feel the need to protect yourself… your heart, to be more precise. But yet you’re moving closer to me…which if you ask me is a sure fire sign that you’re confused. You’re contradicting yourself. You’re not ready to give up on us. (he smiles)

Maggie rolls her eyes and laughs sarcastically.

Ricky: Ah and the sarcastic laugh, dead giveaway. It means I hit the nail on the head. The little frustrated eye roll was sexy though, points for that. (he smirks, cocking his head to the side, looking at her)

Maggie: Stop analyzing me.

Ricky: You asked. (he smiles while shrugging)

Maggie: (turning away from him) Ugh! You are just-

Ricky: (pulling her toward him) What?

Maggie: Let me go.

Ricky: Sorry. I’m just not ready.

Maggie: Well too bad, it’s really not your choice.

Ricky: That’s where you’re wrong…

Maggie: What?

Ricky: I don’t really have a choice here. I can’t stay away from you.

Ricky pulls Maggie into a kiss.

For a minute Maggie kisses him back before pushing him away, obviously annoyed.

Ricky: You really wanna know how I can read you so well?

Maggie makes a face.

Ricky: Because I happen to be in love with you. Analyzing you is my favorite past time.

Maggie: (sarcastically) Well that’s not creepy at all. (she looks away)

Ricky: Don’t do that.

Maggie: Do what?

Ricky: Act like this doesn’t mean anything. Like what I just said didn’t mean anything. Like you don’t love me back.

Maggie: (sighs) Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t get to throw around that word, not after everything I’ve heard about you, and know to be true. Not after all the things I know you’ve done. How can you honestly expect me to believe that you actually love me? That someone full of so much anger and hate could even comprehend what love is.

Ricky looks at her pained, yet confused. Didn’t she get it? He thinks.

Maggie: Just don’t say that to me.

Ricky: Why? It’s the truth. I love you.

Maggie: I can’t do this. I can’t have this conversation with you. I can’t kiss you, or be with you. I can’t act like I don’t know what I know.

Ricky: That’s fine. Stand there and lie to me, lie to yourself. Stand there and pretend, you’re good at avoiding how you feel.

Maggie: What? I avoid how I feel? You’re one to talk. You’re a cocky asshole.

Ricky: You’re cute when you get all feisty, yea that works for me.

Maggie shoots him death glare.

Maggie: God I wish I trusted my gut, when I met you. I had a feeling that told me to run in the other direction. I knew you weren’t gonna be right for me.

Ricky: So why didn’t you run?

Maggie: Because the optimist in me, thought that maybe I was wrong. But surprise surprise, I wasn’t.

Ricky: Well you know what you live and you learn.

Maggie: (shakes her head in disbelief) I guess you do.

Ricky: Oh come on, I’m kidding…

Maggie: You think this is funny?

Ricky: I think you trying to fight this is funny.

Maggie: There’s just no talking to you! I’m done.

Maggie turns, starting to walk away.

Ricky: Hey, hey. (he grabs her hand) Stop running from me, it’s only going to make me chase you faster.

Maggie: How can you possibly think that this is gonna work? We’re too different. Miles away. Worlds apart.

Ricky: I love you. And I don’t say that often, practically never. That’s how I know this is gonna work.

Maggie: Maybe that’s not enough for me to stay.

Ricky: So you don’t love me?

Maggie: (looks at him, her eyes tearing up) Of course I love you. But I believe in right and wrong. You somehow think that you and only you get to control the in between gray areas. You think you get to decide who gets to live. That’s not ok with me. That’s never going to be ok with me.

Ricky: Maggie, Maggie please. I can’t lose you. I don’t even know what I’d do if you leave me. Please just tell me there’s some way we can make this work.

Maggie: I can’t tell you how to fix this. We are who we are. And at the end of the day that puts us right back where we started. We just can’t be together.

Ricky: Maggie. I’m not going to just let you go, I’m not going to give up. You know how this is going to go. Why fight it?

Maggie: Yea I do know how this is going to go. This either ends here, now with some sort of closure, and we both can move on, or this ends with me in a body bag…caught in the crossfire.

Ricky: Don’t ever say that! I would never let that happen! I’d protect you with my life. You know that.

Maggie: And what a life, huh?

Ricky: What is that supposed to mean? I would give you whatever you want, a house, a car, anything.

Maggie: That’s not the point Ricky. None of that stuff means anything to me. I care about safety. I care about life and feeling free enough to live it. If we were to stay together I would be looking over my shoulder every second. I would be terrified that when you left you’d never come home. Your world is a world I just don’t understand. It scares me. The idea of having a life with you scares me. I’m sorry I do love you, but I just can’t be a part of this anymore.

Maggie turns to walk away yet again, but Ricky pulls her into a kiss.

Ricky: That feeling is never going to go away, Maggie. That pull you feel, it’s electric. There’s something here. We belong together.

Maggie: Maybe in another life…but not this one.

Ricky: You realize if I had a choice, I’d choose you over this life any day.

Maggie: Everyone has a choice. It may be blocked by other people’s perception and expectations, and clouded by smoke and adrenaline. But there is always a choice. It’s up to you to see it. And to make the right one. This is me making the best choice for me. Whether you make the best choice for you, is entirely up to you. (pause) Goodbye Ricky.

Ricky: I’ll get out.

Maggie stops in her tracks, slowly turning around to face him.

Maggie: They’ll kill you.

Ricky: I’d rather be dead then without you.

Maggie: But-

Ricky: No buts…This is my choice.

Maggie: Ricky…

Ricky: I choose you.

Maggie: I don’t think it’s as easy as you think…they aren’t going to just let you leave. And even if they do, you have so many enemies what makes you think they won’t come after you, after me, after- (she stops herself)

Ricky: What?

Maggie: Nothing.

Ricky: (looks her over) What aren’t you telling me?

Maggie: I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but things aren’t the same.

Ricky: What kind of things?

Maggie: Just things. Look this is just becoming a circular conversation and quite frankly it’s exhausting me and I really, I just I can’t be here anymore. (she starts to panic and Ricky notices)

Ricky: Ok ok, I’ll take you home.

Maggie: Thank you.

The car ride is silent.

Ricky’s car pulls up in front of Maggie’s Apartment.

Ricky turns to her

Ricky: Hey (he grabs her hand) it’s going to be ok.

Maggie looks at him and tries to force a smile.

He walks her up to her apartment.

Maggie: You really didn’t have to walk me all the way up here. (Taking her keys out)

Ricky: I just wanted to make sure you got in safe.

Maggie: Thanks.

Ricky looks at her, unsure how to say goodbye.

Maggie: Well it’s late, I should get in.

Ricky: (nods) Sure. Will you call me when you feel like talking?

Maggie: (Sighs) Ricky I-

Ricky: Just think about it…please?

Maggie: Ok.

Ricky: (smiles) Goodnight. (he leans in and kisses her cupping her face)

Maggie walks into her apartment, closes the door and breathes a sigh of relief.

Leaning against her front door, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a bag.

Taking out a box; a pregnancy test box.

Maggie sighs walking into the bathroom.

*Should I continue, or just leave you guys hanging? #cliffhanger 😉

Maybe I’ll make this a two parter?

Maybe a three parter?

Bethany Joy & Jesse; my #dreamcasting 😉

-<3-

* I take no credit for the images used in my edits or otherwise.*

Two girls, in a coffee shop…

May 7, 2015May 7, 2015michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

Two girlfriends sitting in a café sharing a couple of pastries and cappuccinos. The first let’s call her… “Curious”…the second well let’s call her “Knowledgeable.”

Curious: What does it feel like when your heart breaks into a million pieces?

Knowledgeable: Oh…you’ve never felt it?

Curious: No. Never had the pleasure.

Knowledgeable: (laughs sarcastically) Consider yourself lucky.

Curious: Why?

Knowledgeable: Because it sucks.

Curious: Well I’m sure it does. But-

Knowledgeable: Just think of feeling like things are finally going your way, falling into place and just when you let yourself believe that, your walking down the street one minute smiling and you’ve got a spring in your step and then boom the street below your feet vanishes, and your falling, and you don’t have any concept of why or what you’re gonna grab onto.

Curious: But at least you’ve been in love right? You got to be a part of something beautiful.

Knowledgeable: I wouldn’t exactly call love beautiful, it’s PAIN-ful. That’s what it is.

Curious: So this person that broke your heart…do you still love him?

Knowledgeable: (sighs) Can I plead the fifth on that one? (laughs)

Curious: Sorry.

Knowledgeable: No. Don’t be. You’re not the first person to ask me that. I just haven’t wanted to face that reality yet. So I usually lie but I don’t wanna lie to you.

Curious: Well maybe that’s because you know it was worth it. And that’s a hard concept for you to process.

Knowledgeable: What was?

Curious: The pain…was worth what you had, what you got to experience, how you got to feel about another human being. Even if it ended badly at least you know it’s out there. At least you can attest to the fact that it’s not a myth.

Knowledgeable: What? Love? Oh hunny love is a myth. At least true love is.

Curious: So what you had with this guy…it wasn’t true?

Knowledgeable: For me it was, for him probably not. That’s the painful part. Getting hurt and not knowing what happened or not knowing why. Falling in love just leaves you with a lot of questions and empty answers.

Curious: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but for someone who was once so in love, you sound really bitter and cynical about the whole concept.

Knowledgeable: I’m not. I’m just venting.

Curious: So you still believe in love?

Knowledgeable: I believe in hope, and fate and a little bit of destiny. And mixed together and baked at 350 degrees they got to be good for something right? (laughs taking a bite of her pastry)

Curious: Or maybe that guy wasn’t capable of handling how amazing you are. Maybe you just haven’t found a guy… man enough to handle you yet. (smiling at her friend)

Knowledgeable: Isn’t that the truth, (laughs and raises her coffee cup to her friend)

Both: Cheers! (the friends say as they clink their coffee cups together.)

Their gazes shift to an elderly couple sitting together on a bench just outside the café. The friends share a knowing smile.

-End Scene-

-<3-

* I do not take credit for the image used. *

The Sarcastic Romantic

April 23, 2015April 23, 2015michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

Wherefore art thou?

Balconies tall yet far

Unseen through traffic lights

though country stars may shine bright

Crickets were never your calling

Racing minds

Time passes by

But you stand still

Worlds revolving around you

Not in the way you’d wish them to

Dark nights

Moonlight

Stars in the sky

A twinkle shines bright

A plane jetting off to some unknown place

Managing to make things feel like time will never pass

Was she forgettable?

Because she didn’t forget you

Maybes and what ifs

Second guesses

And questions of character and personality

When the truth is simple

He’s no Romeo

At least not your Romeo

He’s not going to fight for you

Or die for you

He’s not going to show up and confess his love

He’s not going to throw pebbles at your window

He’s not your Romeo

Move on girl

Let it go girl

Its ok I gotcha

Suddenly misrepresented

It’s frustrating

What did they mean?

How far would you go?

To rekindle a fallen romance

A feeling you once felt

Something that til this day

Has stayed deep within your soul

Memories trail blaze

Ablaze in flames

Smoke; the only recognition that it was ever even there in the first place

Whatever “it” was

And you sit and you wonder

Heart skipping a beat

Causing an involuntary flutter

Did you miss it?

Did it pass you by?

Were you clueless?

Or were they selfish?

With a capital I

Or was it fear?

Why are we always so afraid to feel?

Afraid to show that feeling to someone else?

Maybe they will agree

Maybe they’ll get it

Maybe they’ll feel what you feel

And you’ll ride off into the sun set on the white horse he came trotting in on

Or maybe they won’t agree

Maybe they won’t get it

Maybe they’ll never feel what you feel

Or felt

I guess that’s the risk you take when you wear your heart on your sleeve for others to read

I guess that’s the risk you take in everything

Signed,

Sarcastic Romantic

It’s better than being hopeless

At least this way

You learn to laugh at yourself a little

Be gentle to others

While you’re protecting your heart from the fears they hold

Think about the other person’s heart

What are they trying to protect theirs from?

The heart is something that isn’t meant to be broken

But it often is

Riddled with emotional scars and experience you may not necessarily want

We trick ourselves into thinking that getting our hearts broken is common

That every heartache is a growth process, a lesson learned

And that may be true

But what happens if you fall in love and that person fell back

And it stuck

And you lived happily ever after

Wouldn’t that be something?

That’s the magic in believing

Call it hopeless

Call it childish

Call it whatever the hell you want

Maybe the fairytales got it right

Stay Hopeful

Stay Sarcastic

But most importantly

Keep your soul Romantic 😉

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*I do not take credit for any images used.*

-<3-

Find Your Love

April 20, 2015April 13, 2015michelleleighwrites 2 Comments

So often we hear about soulmates and true love stories. But what happens after the grand gesture and the sacrifices we make for each other? How we compromise and try to change to fit the molds of a healthy relationship. What happens when you think you’ve found the one. And things don’t work out? The plans your mind made and the wishes your heart had come crashing down upon you and your shoulders feel the burden. Do you try again? Do you even want to? Or was that one person, your one and only shot? ….Try and try until you get it right. I may not know all there is to know about love. I know less than the next person. But then that person knows less than the person after that. The truth is we’re all clueless. You just float around til one day someone comes into your world and makes it make a little bit more sense. My observation of love is based on watching and learning. I call it the observer affect. I’ve learned by keeping my eyes open and my ears listening. Basically my being nosy and a good confident has taught me many lessons.

How many great loves do you think you get in a lifetime?

One? Two?

Or is it an infinite amount and it’s your job to find at least one?

The perfect one…

perfect for you.

Happy Hunting! 😉

*I do not take any credit for any images used.*

-<3-

Interpretation

April 9, 2015March 30, 2015michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

Listen to: “Seasons Change” by Susie Suh

*********************

“Interpretation”

Seasons change

like feelings do

Sunshine brightens

pouring rain brings gloom

sunglasses protect eyes from knowing, from showing, from telling, from bright sun rays

umbrellas shelter from storms

Secrets plenty

Secrets held

Seasons change

like feelings do

Feelings

feelings of joy and wonder

feelings of sadness and despair

feelings of confusion both good and not so

Seasons change

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

A rotation

of sunshine and clouds passing over

A lesson

A learning

Leaves change colors

snow falls cold, crisp and white

flowers bloom,

birds chirp singing love songs to the world, music to the trees felt down to their roots

poolside heat waves dance on sun-kissed skin

A rotation

A lesson

A learning

Feelings change

like seasons do

It’s all part of life

the twist and turns of growing up

Create your pathway

your own yellow brick road

follow your instincts

Click your Ruby Red slippers together

because you can always go home

Make mistakes

Fall in love

Enjoy the ride

-<3-

* I do not take credit for any images used. *

Interpretation

March 5, 2015March 29, 2015michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

Listen to: “Seasons Change” by Susie Suh

*********************

“Interpretation”

Seasons change

like feelings do

Sunshine brightens

pouring rain brings gloom

sunglasses protect eyes from knowing, from showing, from telling, from bright sun rays

umbrellas shelter from storms

Secrets plenty

Secrets held

Seasons change

like feelings do

Feelings

feelings of joy and wonder

feelings of sadness and despair

feelings of confusion both good and not so

Seasons change

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

A rotation

of sunshine and clouds passing over

A lesson

A learning

Leaves change colors

snow falls cold, crisp and white

flowers bloom,

birds chirp singing love songs to the world, music to the trees felt down to their roots

poolside heat waves dance on sun-kissed skin

A rotation

A lesson

A learning

Feelings change

like seasons do

It’s all part of life

the twist and turns of growing up

Create your pathway

your own yellow brick road

follow your instincts

Click your Ruby Red slippers together

because you can always go home

Make mistakes

Fall in love

Enjoy the ride

-<3-

* I do not take credit for any images used. *

Girls Gala; How To Plan A “Girls Night In”- Valentine’s Day Edition

February 16, 2015February 16, 2015michelleleighwrites 2 Comments

There are a few major categories you need to focus on when deciding to have a party.

*WWWWW&H: Who (the guest list) What (what are you celebrating) When (the time and date) Where (party spot) Why (do we need a reason to throw a party? the answer is really no) & How ($$$- Budget and enlist a party planning partner in crime, mine is always without a doubt mi madre…THANKS MOM!)

*Decorations (this is when your theme comes into play)

*Music (make a party playlist)

*Activities (break out them board games or create some fun games of your own!)

*Food (what are you serving; appetizers? dinner? or both?) *Beverages (alcoholic, soda, water, coffee, tea?) *Dessert (cake, cookies, fruit platter?)

*Favors (something for your guest to take home)

*Attire (do you want your guests to dress in costume, or dress up glamorously or do you wanna keep things casual cool….and hey I’d never knock a pajama party!)

So once you map out your party, now it’s time to get things going. Let me walk you through my Girls Gala, I recently had this past weekend for Valentine’s Day or should I say Gal-entine’s Day.

***************************

*WWWWWH

My Guest List always includes friends that I’ve known for quite some time. They are made up of childhood friends, high school friends, my brother’s girlfriend who has been in my life since college and a best friend who I’ve known basically my entire life. Life gets busy and it’s not like how it used to be that we’d all hang out every Friday night playing rock band or dance dance revolution or spending way too many long hours overstaying our welcome at Starbucks or various local restaurants. So when we do get together it’s really special to all of us.

I’m a big fan of hosting parties so I usually do them in my home, it saves me a fee to rent out a place, and you just have more flexibility with what you can do. For this particular Valentine’s Day party I knew that having it on Valentine’s Day would have just been rude, considering most of my friends have boyfriends, so I opted to have my party the night before. I wanted to have something for just us girls to celebrate our friendships and the bonds we’ve formed over the past years. You don’t need to be in love to celebrate a day based on love. I love all my girls so this was my gift to them.

*Decorations

….are my favorite part! I love having a theme for my parties. I just feel like it gives you more to work with visually. So being that this was a Valentine’s Day party I color schemed a lot of pinks, reds, whites, and purples. Hearts, Cupids, and Roses, all that jazz. I also love a good bargain so most of the stuff I purchased was from the dollar store.

*Music

I love music, I feel like the right playlist can just instantly transfer the mood of a party. For my party I opted to include a lot of the romantic vocal stylings of Justin Timberlake (uh duh?), Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran, and a few others. Hey I may be single but I can appreciate a good love song. 😉 But you know it’s never wrong to throw little Tay Swift in the mix, and have a little “shake it off” dance party…which we did. And I have proof.

*Activities

Ok this is an important one… (Aren’t they all?)

-The last party I hosted was my 80’s party for my birthday last year, and although we all had a good time, I felt like I didn’t have any activities to occupy our time. So this time I did a little online researching and came up with some fun valentine inspired games to play. It gets your guests to loosen up and since it was after a long work day for most it was a stress release too. Grab a glass of wine and laugh as your friend tries to act out weird things during charades. Or blindfold them and tell them to “Kiss the Stud”… isn’t Oliver cute? (Where my “How To Get Away With Murder” fans at….Oliver is my favorite!)

-I also had a little “activity box” if you will, full of fun little games that the guest could play in between dinner and dessert. I filled it with games like fortune-teller; Who’s Your Celebrity Valentine?, Marry Kiss or Ditch, M.A.S.H (who remembers MASH?), and labeled them and left the box on the couch for my guests to open at their leisure.

-Build your own Photo booth.

I did this at my 80’s party and it was huge hit! So I had to do one again this time around. Throw up a funky curtain and set up a prop table with funky hats, sunglasses, scarves, accessories and make some saying sticks and Viola homemade photo booth! Seeing as it was Valentine’s Day inspired I opted for conversation heart colors and wrote some funny quotes and sayings on them. You can even make a hashtag, so that when your guests post to social media you can easily find all the images in one place! I love taking pictures, I feel like you are making memories when you take pictures, and although being present in life is important it’s nice to have those images to look back on, because 20 years from now memories may alter or fade but pictures bring you back to that moment.

*Food, *Beverages, *Desserts

It makes me crazy when people ask me if they should eat before coming. Like what? Do you not know me? I’m a foodie, and I will never host a party without FOOD??? With that being said, for my Girls Gala I opted for a healthy meal to balance out a very UN-healthy dessert spread.

-My Menu consisted of:

-Appetizers: A cinnamon dip with pita chips and a salty/sweet popcorn, pretzels, Swedish Fish mix.

-Dinner: Sliced Grilled chicken (marinated overnight in Lemon Pepper marinade) Grilled on a George Foreman Grill. Served on sourdough bread with either a choice of an avocado spread or a roasted pepper.

To go along with that I made a spinach salad topped with feta cheese, walnuts, olive oil & vinegar dressing, and strawberries!

-Dessert: I made heart-shaped sugar cookies and Chocolate chip cookies with m&m’s and mini fruit kabobs. Then my friends each brought something which I didn’t expect and we ended having an entire spread! I mean it is Valentine’s Day….don’t judge us!

-Beverages: All of my friends and I are of age so I set up a little wine tasting station, I had a few bottles of wine in my house and champagne and one of my friends brought sangria and another brought a few other bottles of wine so we had quite a good selection. I also like to have some soda on hand and water for other non-alcoholic options. And tea and coffee in case anyone wants a cup with their desserts.

*Favors

Now this is an optional step, not everyone does it, but I usually like to let my guests leave with a little something. So I decided to do a mini candy bar. Where they could make their own candy bags as they left. I mean in all that dessert where was the chocolate? It isn’t Valentine’s Day without the chocolate! And near the candy bar I placed some handmade paper fortune cookies for my guest to open, they were filled with inspirational, feel good quotes.

You are your own idol.

*Attire

When I sent out my mass text (so fancy….But I do have a way with words…) I initially said to get dressed up. We all settled for a more casual dress up vibe. Nothing too crazy, but I have to say… were my girls working the red lips or what? I’m so proud. I opted for a pink shade lip and stuck to the color that never goes out of style…black, for my outfit. With a few fuchsia pink accents and gold jewelry. Basically I have these fuchsia pink heels that I use any excuse to wear them. And by wear them I mean they come on and off throughout the party. Hence I’m not a heels girl, I love my fuzzy socks more than anything. I’m siting here wearing a Valentine’s Day pair right now as I type!

***********

So there you have it, my go to party planning tips. When all is said and done and the stress of planning is over with, I can sit back knowing my friends enjoyed themselves and looking at the pictures we took I know that it was one for the books. Check out some photo booth snap shots below!

Thank you ladies for being your amazing selves!

So folks whether you’re single, in a relationship, kinda sort of maybe seeing someone, you are loved by someone (most likely many someones #family #friends.) And what better way to reciprocate that love than by throwing your girlfriends an awesome GNI (girls night in).

I leave you with our version of an Oscar selfie 😉

-<3-

** All images and videos are my own**

(I apologize for the crappy quality vlog camera…

but at least my photo booth pics are on point!)

“He Said, She Said.” – A Dialogue

September 2, 2014September 3, 2014michelleleighwrites Leave a comment

“He Said, She Said.”

A follow-up to “She Said.”

He Said: Hey…

She Said: Hey.

He Said: You look good.

She Said: I know. (she smirks)

He Said: (he smiles and looks at his feet nervously) How are you?

She Said: I’m really good. (she smiles simply but it’s genuine)

He Said: Good.

She Said: And you?

He Said: I’ve seen better days.

She Said: Haven’t we all. (she laughs) It’ll pass. Some days are good, some aren’t.

He Said: I know this is in poor taste to bring this up but-

She Said: Then don’t. It won’t really make a difference at this point.

He Said: Maybe not. But I just- I need to say something…

She Said: Okay.

He Said: I’m sorry. And I know that’s lame and I’ve said it countless times before. But I really am sorry. I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry that I hurt you and our relationship. Basically I’m just so sorry for how we left things. I really hate that the last memory you have of me is a rotten one.

She Said: Yea, well the whole situation pretty much sucked. But what can you do right. What’s done is done. It’s all in the past now.

He Said: I feel like you hate me. And I totally deserve it but-

She Said: I don’t hate you.

He Said: You don’t? (he says in shock)

She Said: I’m sure at some point I thought I did. (she laughs) But I don’t really believe in hate… I mean even if you hate someone, it’s still a feeling, you still have some kind of feeling toward them. And to me, hate is just a gateway to love. Even if you hate someone you probably have some love for them too or at least you used to. So I don’t believe in hate. I don’t hate you.

He Said: You’re kind of amazing you know that?

She Said: Obviously. (flips her hair behind her shoulder dramatically)

They share a laugh like old times.

He Said: So you still believe in love?

She Said: Oh absolutely. But you already knew that. So why are you asking? (she laughs)

He Said: I guess I just needed to hear that I didn’t ruin it for you.

She Said: (laughs) Someone’s a little full of himself. And you wonder why we never worked out. Hmmm? (she rolls her eyes and laughs making light of their situation)

He Said: I just meant…I’m sorry. (he shakes his head in frustration with himself)

She Said: It’s okay. I get that your nervous.

He Said: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rehearsed this conversation in my head. I guess I didn’t expect you to be so nice to me. I’m losing my cool.

She Said: Well considering you were never that cool…that’s not saying much- (she laughs)

He Said: (laughs) Why are you being so nice…are you secretly plotting your revenge? (he raises his eyebrows)

She Said: Nah. I’m just a better person than you. (she fakes seriousness, then laughs)

He Said: No that’s actually true though.

She Said: Forgive yourself. I have. Life’s too short to live in regret…to live in the past.

He Said: Have you?….Forgiven me?

She Said: Look at me…do I look unhappy to you?

He Said: No. You look amazing, and you seem happier then I’ve ever seen you. Way happier than you ever were with me.

She Said: And it’s not even an act. (she smiles) Look after we broke up, everything just kind of fell into place. And I really went for the things I wanted, things that I realized I was holding myself back from. So I guess in some twisted way you cheating was a blessing in disguise.

He Said: Wow. Well then I’m really happy for you. I just wish I treated you better when I had the chance. You were worth it. That’s my biggest regret.

She Said: Well…I appreciate that.

He Said: Well now at least you know what not to look for in a relationship right? (he laughs)

She Said: You’re not a bad guy. You just need to learn how to let people in. Learn how to let a woman love you, that way you can learn to love them back.

He Said: I did love you. I need you to know that. I need you to believe that.

She Said: Oddly enough I do.

He Said: Good… Do you think we could ever give it another shot?

She Said: No. (she laughs)

He Said: Sorry. Can’t blame a guy for trying right?

She Said: I suppose not. (she laughs, shaking her head)

He Said: Whoever gets to marry you…is one lucky guy.

She Said: I’ll tell him you said so.

He Said: Have you met him yet?

She Said: I think so.

He Said: Good for you. (they share smiles and understandings) I guess I should get going.

She Said: Okay. It was good to talk to you. Good Luck. (she gives him a goodbye hug)

He Said: Thanks for hearing me out. And for being as graceful as I remember you to be.

She Said: Oh you know… that’s just how I am. (she shrugs and laughs)

He Said: I’ll see ya. (he waves, smiles and begins to walk away)

She Said: Bye.

He Said: (he turns back toward her) Hey… if you say hate is an extension of love and you believe in love, but you don’t believe in hate. Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron?

She Said: Hasn’t anyone ever told you…everything in life is an oxymoron.

They both smile at each other one last time before they go their separate ways.

~The End.~

*I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR ANY OF THE ACTUAL IMAGES USED WITHIN THESE EDITS.*

-<3-

“She Said.” – A Monologue

September 1, 2014michelleleighwrites 5 Comments

They fell in love

He cheated

She found out

So…this is the aftermath

She Said:

I do believe that you love me, or that you think you do. And I do believe that you’re sorry, or that you think you are. But I can’t say that I think that’s enough. You can say she didn’t mean anything, that it was one time and the last time. But that doesn’t mean I believe it. I can’t trust you. That’s basically what it comes down to. I gave you my heart and you chose to break it. You chose to. You knew what you were doing. You knew it would hurt me, you knew it would hurt us. Break us. But you did it anyway. That just goes to show how little you know about love, and what it actually means to fall into it and to value it. Sometimes people don’t deserve a second chance, because it’s only risking another disappointment. It’s okay though. What you did is not okay. We are not okay. But I am. Or at least I will be. Because, I think a part of me knew you would hurt me. I think every girl deep down kind of expects it. And I don’t think that’s being a pessimist, but a realist. Guys will come and go. They will make you fall and then rip the rug out from under you. But like I said, it’s okay. We will survive, we will move on. And one day a man will come along and surprise us. We will wait for our feet to hit cold tiled floor, but that day won’t come, and then we’ll know. Then we’ll feel it. He’s it. He’s the one. And he won’t make you cry, but instead pick you up and make all the cries and lessons that came before all somehow seem worth it. You just have to be patient. He may be closer than you think. Look around. Say hi…smile.

* “She Said.” is just a small short two part story…check out the following post “He Said, She Said.” To get both sides!

*I do not take any credit for any of the actual photos used within my edits*

-<3-

Michelle Leigh Writes

A safe place for the written word <3 New Posts Two Days A Week

Love

Love Conflicted- Chapter 2

Love Conflicted- Chapter 1

Two girls, in a coffee shop…

The Sarcastic Romantic

Find Your Love

Interpretation

Interpretation

Girls Gala; How To Plan A “Girls Night In”- Valentine’s Day Edition

“He Said, She Said.” – A Dialogue

“She Said.” – A Monologue