“Don’t Cry”

We say it all the time.

To infants.

To friends.

To ourselves.

I found myself holding back tears often. In fear of showing “too much” emotion. Yet as I grow older I realize the importance of allowing yourself to express those emotions. It is not good for you, for your health, for your relationships, to keep things all bottled up inside. It’s important to let them out.

“No cry.”

“Stop crying.”

I’ve caught myself and others saying this to my goddaughter.

It’s a reflex, I think. An attempt to soothe, to calm, to comfort.

We say it because we are uncomfortable in the moment, in the sadness. In seeing someone we care about dealing with that sadness or hurt.

We say it because we think we are helping. Because we don’t know what else to say.

We are indeed trying to help.

There are good intentions behind it.

But at the age of 3 now I have seen her try and stop herself from crying when she is sad, or hurt, and it’s a lesson she doesn’t need to learn. Not now. Not ever.

“Don’t cry.”

We say it all the time.

But is it right?

When we say these things, we are telling ourselves, telling others that it’s not ok to feel.

That feeling whatever it is we/they feel is wrong.

But it isn’t.

Crying is natural.

We have tear ducks for a reason, no?

It’s a bodily function.

Blame it on biology.

Or applaud it, for allowing us a form of expression.

It’s ok to cry.

It’s ok to feel whatever it is you feel.

Whether you are right or wrong, in that moment, you feel it.

And no one can change that.

No one can tell you how to feel.

Because feelings aren’t something you can always control. And that’s ok.

And I’ve learned that sometimes the tears are just going to come.

And you have to learn to be ok with that.

Screw it.

Let the tears flow.

Sure it’s awkward.

It creates some unnecessary anxiety in you.

“What will people think?”

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with me?”

“I’m a total mess.”

“I look ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe I let this happen.”

No, you can’t control it all the time.

No, you are not a mess.

You are human.

Life will go on.

You will recover.

You will be ok.

Life is going to take a toll on all of us at some time, whether you are a child or an adult.

Whether you are crying because you lost a loved one, because someone broke your heart, because you finally got that job you always wanted, or because well… you are PMSing and watching Pocahontas. #Trustory #ColorsoftheWind #GetsMeEverytime

These thoughts of uneasiness stem from that gut feeling in you that thinks you’re doing something wrong. #ThanksSociety That somehow crying in front of people means you will never recover, or that it’s the end of the world for your social life.

But everyone is human.

People understand.

And one day it’ll be your turn to comfort a friend in need.

When you let whatever hardship you’ve been harboring out you feel a sense of relief and release. Letting go of whatever it is that is troubling you.

It is OK to cry. In Public. In Private.

Cry- if you want to.

Cry- if you have to.

Cry- because you need to.

And never let anyone make you feel less because of it.

It takes just as much strength to be vulnerable in front of someone that it takes to remain “put together” all the time.

Strength isn’t void of feeling.

It’s allowing yourself the space and time to go through the emotions you need to feel.

Once you do, you’ll feel a little bit lighter.

Cry like it’s your party and you want to.

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images or gifs used.*