Fight…or Flight?

I’m going to switch gears a little bit this week. I know I’ve been posting Love Conflicted chapters lately and I just feel like it’s oversaturating my blog with that one story. And maybe you guys aren’t into it that much. So anyone who has been reading along don’t worry, it will be finished. I will start posting new chapters in the near few weeks but I’m just going to take a little break. And get some new creative juices flowing.

Here’s a random scene…it literally just popped into my head as I sat here, thinking of what to post. I’m going to just go with it. Whether it turns into something long term or not…

I’ll call this one…

“Fight… or Flight?”

Dylan sees her sitting out on the porch, rocking in her white wicker rocking chair.

Her hair blowing in the summer night breeze.

She reaches over for her cup of tea.

Tea…she’s drinking tea.

She’s feeling anxious.

She’s trying to calm down.

He knows she’s upset.

Upset with him.

An inner struggle begins to build inside of him, his stomach is in knots.

What’s going on here?

Why can’t they seem to get on the same page. Ever.

I hate seeing her unhappy. But lately it seems like I can never say or do the right thing,

Dylan thinks.

Dylan decides to just swallow his pride and makes his way out onto the porch.

He walks out and leans on the fence overlooking the ocean view.

Their summer beach house was always a place of pure joy.

But something’s changed.

He feels her burning a whole through his head. Her eyes are on him. He can feel them. He could always tell.

Dylan turns around slowly to face her. He leans on the fence. Crossing his arms in front of his chest. His eyes finding hers.

Dylan: Can we talk?

Cassie looks at him. Her stare turning blank.

Dylan knows this isn’t going to be easy.

Dylan: I don’t know what you want from me, Cassie.

Cassie sighs and takes a sip of her tea.

Dylan: Will you talk to me please? What are thinking?

Dylan stares intently as if he’s trying to read her mind.

Cassie: How did we get here?

Dylan: Where?

Cassie: What do you mean where Dylan? This place, this awful place. This place where we barely see each other, we barely talk to each other. I feel like I don’t even know you.

Cassie’s eyes begin to well up and her voice cracks so she stops talking. She looks down at her hands, and plays with her wedding rings.

Dylan: (noticing) Hey. Cassie, baby (he kneels in front of her, taking her hands) we’ve only been married for a year and a half, and we’ve had a lot of stressful things come our way. You know people say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, now add all the extra stuff we’ve had to deal with and it makes sense that we’d feel a disconnect.

Cassie: Yea well the honeymoon phase went by real quick.

Dylan: It’s just been a stressful time. We’ll get through it.

Cassie: Will we? Because lately I just feel like you’d rather put a half a dozen extra hours in at work, than come home and see me.

Dylan hangs his head.

Cassie: You know you used to actually hate leaving me in the mornings, and you couldn’t wait to come home and have dinner with me. Do you remember that?

Dylan: Of course I do. That hasn’t changed.

Cassie: Oh yes it has. Something is different. The way you look at me is different. You barely touch me. What happened to us? Do you not want this anymore? Do not want me anymore?

Dylan: Cassie. Cassie. Please stop.

Cassie: God! (she stands up quickly in a huff) You know what? Screw you! You wanted to talk. For the first time, in god knows how long. And now you don’t wanna hear what I have to say. This marriage is heading straight down divorce lane, and if you can’t meet me half way to try and fix this, then that’s it. I won’t continue to carry this marriage by myself.

Dylan: (pacing, feeling anxious, like he’s going to burst) Cassie. Cassie. I slept with someone.

Cassie stills.

Minutes go by. Minutes that feel like hours to Dylan.

Dylan: Please say something.

Cassie starts laughing.

Hysterically.

Dylan looks at her confused.

He doesn’t know what to make of her reaction.

Cassie wipes her tears; a mixture of tears from laughter and tears from heartbreak.

Cassie: I knew it. I knew it. And now I know I haven’t been completely insane. Wondering where you are…what you were doing. Your the reason for all of this. You did this. You wrecked us.

Dylan: Cassie I am so sorry. It didn’t mean anything. I was just going through something, I don’t know where my mind was-

Cassie is staring out into the ocean view, she’s miles away. Even more so then before.

Dylan: Cassie, please-talk to me.

Cassie: I’m done talking.

Dylan: Baby-

Cassie: (sighs heavily) I’m going to bed.

Cassie walks off back into the house, in silence.

Dylan sits on the porch, his head in his hands, knowing this may just be the beginning of the end.

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 7

Previously on Love Conflictedposter LC

Read Part 6 HERE

ricky spies on maggie tumblr_nic86frUnA1rays90o2_500[1] kisss tumblr_ljoss25X7F1qg2pbdo1_500[1]

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maybe eh

The sunlight casts a golden glow on Maggie’s bedroom, lighting up her face as it lay on Ricky’s chest. Ricky and Maggie lay in her bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. Maggie had dozed back off. Ricky is wide awake and can’t help but stare at Maggie. She’s the most beautiful she’s ever looked.

Ricky glances at the clock on her nightstand. His hour is almost up. He stares at Maggie, wanting to memorize every detail of her face.

How am I supposed to leave her? he thinks.

Ricky untangles himself from Maggie’s arms and makes his way out of bed. He grabs a pair of sweats and pulls them on, and heads into her kitchen for some coffee.

A few minutes later, Maggie wakes up. In a sleepy fog, she stretches her arms above her head, basking in the sunlight. She smiles to herself, looking to her side she notices the space near her is empty. She instantly feels sick. Her heart drops.

love scene

Maggie: No, no. (she whispers to herself, tears beginning to form, she covers her face with her hands and pulls her pillow into her chest, hugging it tightly, pulling her knees in.)

It was all a dream, she thinks.

Ricky walks in a few minutes later. He leans against the door frame.

Ricky: Hey gorgeous. (he takes a sip of his coffee)

Maggie’s head shoot up hearing his voice.

Ricky sees her face, and is instantly alarmed.

Ricky: Maggie, baby…what’s wrong? (he rushes over to her placing his coffee cup on her end table.)

Maggie shakes her head, Ricky sits next to her cupping her face, willing her to talk to him.

Ricky: Did you have a bad dream?

Maggie: Something like that.

Ricky: What was it? (he wipes her tears away with his thumbs.)tears reunion

Maggie: I just thought…I just thought maybe I really did lose you. And maybe everything that happened earlier was just in my head. (she looks down)

Ricky: Hey. (he lifts up her chin, to face him) I’m so sorry.

Maggie: I know. (she kisses his hand as it cups her face)

Maggie stares at Ricky for a beat.

Ricky: What? (he pushes her hair behind her ear)

Maggie: Oh. (snapping out of her daze) I just can’t believe you’re really here with me.

Ricky: I know, I missed you so much. (he leans in and kisses her)micky kiss 2

Maggie: So what happened…where have you been?

Ricky: I don’t want to waste time getting into specifics…

Maggie: Waste time-what do you….

Ricky looks at her with sad eyes, knowing very well she’s not going to like what he has to say.

Maggie: No.

Ricky: Baby-

Maggie: No! (she stands up abruptly, Ricky sighs not wanting her out of reach) No. I just got you back. And you’re gonna seriously try and sit here and tell me, you’re leaving somewhere again. Absolutely not!

Ricky:(reaching for her) I know that this is frustrating-

Maggie: Frustrating? FRUSTRATING? No. Ricky thinking you were dead this whole time has not been frustrating, it was debilitating. It was heartbreaking. It wrecked me! I fell apart.

Ricky: I know Maggie, baby, I know. (he takes her hands into his) It was wrecking me too. I hated being away from you. But it was the only way I knew I could keep you safe. With everything that happened I-

Maggie: Wait a minute. (starting to pull away from him) This was all your idea?

Ricky looks at her nervously, trying to pull her back to him.

Maggie: So you chose…to stay away from me? (she continues to distance herself) To make me think you were dead? This was all some elaborate story…

Ricky: Maggie…Maggie you have to understand, what I am up against, the kind of mind games and tricks this agency is all about.

Maggie: What happened? Just tell me what happened. Don’t I at least deserve that much?

Ricky: You deserve so much. You deserve to know the whole truth.

Maggie: And why do I get the feeling, that’s not going to happen here, (she says folding her arms.)

Ricky notices, he notices the sure fire sign, that she’s shutting down.

why didnt you tell meRicky: Don’t do that. Don’t put your walls up, not now. And please stop walking away from me. Do you know how hard it’s been not having you in my arms. Now that you are, don’t pull away from me, please.

Maggie: Are you kidding me? I have a pretty good idea of what you’ve been going through. (she huffs and rolls her eyes) What do you want Ricky? How do you expect me to feel.

Ricky: God. I just wanna- (he walks over to her, cupping her face in his hands he pulls her into a kiss)tumblr_nild51EDNo1qk34klo2_400[1]Ricky didn’t have anything else on his mind, other than being with Maggie. All their past mishaps, and arguments, were of no interest to him. He just wanted Maggie.

Maggie: (she unfolds her arms, and wraps them around Ricky’s neck) Ricky. I love you. And I am so incredibly happy and thrilled and just overjoyed that you are here and that you are alive, but you do not get to pull this on me right now. My walls are up because yours are. That’s what this is. I can’t give you everything in me, if you don’t do the same.

Ricky: You have me. I’m here.

Maggie: Yea for how long?

Ricky: (glancing at the clock, he sighs) About 15 more minutes. (he winces)

Maggie: (shakes her head) I can’t believe this is happening. Why would you come here, only to leave again…why not just wait until you knew it was safe for us to be together?

Ricky: Maggie, baby trust me, ok if I could stay and still fix things from here, I would. But there’s a lot that needs to be dealt with before we can be together. Before we can both be safe.

Maggie: What does that mean? Are we not safe right now? (she looks around her bedroom nervously.)

Ricky: Well let’s just say you’re covered, but I have quite a pretty penny on my head right about now.

Maggie: What! Like a bounty hunter type of deal? Ricky! Nothing your saying is making sense right now. What’s going on? You’re scaring me.

Ricky: Shh. Stop. I don’t want you to be scared. You don’t need to be scared. The less you know the safer you’ll stay. But I’m not here for any of that.

Maggie: Then why are you here?

Ricky: Why do you think? (he kisses her.) And I’m sorry I wasn’t here…for you… with the baby…micky kiss

Maggie looks at him, stunned.

Maggie: How do you know-

Ricky: I have my ways. (he smirks)

Maggie: Care to share?

Ricky: I had my partner, bug your living room. (he smiles sheepishly)

Maggie: You what? Who?

Ricky: Ian.

Maggie: Ian?

tumblr_mqrm3ucVaQ1qfwu1ho6_250[1]Maggie looks up at Ricky, she’s starting to connect the dots a bit.

Ricky: Ian’s a good guy. He’s the only friend I have helping me through this. He’s helping me clear this mess up. He’s also been the one looking out for you while I’ve been gone. He’s the only one I’d trust with your safety.

Maggie: Ok? And-

tumblr_ngeio0Dc4x1twe2lto1_250[1]Ricky: Maggie. I’m so sorry about the baby. I wish I could have been here with you. I hate that I wasn’t here for you. I wish you would have told me. I understand why you didn’t. But-

Maggie: Well (walking away from his arms) it doesn’t really matter much, I’m not pregnant so-there is no baby.

Ricky: It matters to me. (he grabs her hand)

Maggie looks at him, her eyes tearing up.

Ricky: Will you talk to me about this, please?

Maggie: I’d rather not.

Ricky: Why?

Maggie. Because I don’t want to talk about it.

Ricky: Why?

Maggie: Because it hurts.

Ricky: Maggie you know that we can always try again, right? We can try until it happens. This isn’t over.

Maggie: That’s not the point Ricky? The point is that I didn’t know that. I sat here for a week thinking you were dead. Thinking that I missed my chance. And I prayed for it to be a mistake for that stupid negative to be false. I wanted it to positive, because then I’d always have a piece of you with me, whether you were dead or not, whether we were together or not, I just wanted something that would connect us always.

Ricky’s eyes begin to tear.

Maggie: But you knew. You knew you’d see me again. You had the truth to hold onto. I had memories and pain.

Ricky: I’m sorry.

Maggie: I don’t want you to be sorry. I may not like what you did. But I do know that you love me.

Ricky: Ain’t that the truth. (he smiles through his tear stained cheeks)

Maggie:(softens her gaze) And I know that you wouldn’t have done what you did, if you thought  there was any other way.

Ricky: I just want to keep you safe. You’re the love of my life Maggie. (he smiles, tears rolling down his cheeks)

Maggie: (crying) You’re the love of my life too. (they kiss) And I’m sorry I wasted any time making you question that. I knew how much I loved you, but with your job-I was just scared.

Ricky: Yea I got that. (he brushes her hair from her face)

Maggie: This past week has been hell, I went over every last thing I said to you. I hated the way I handled things. I’m sorry I ever let you leave without giving you the answer you deserved. Without letting you know how much I still wanted to be with you.

Ricky: I knew. (he cups her face, smiling at her) I’m sorry too. But none of that matters now.

Maggie kisses him. tumblr_mi7tm4nZFR1qf2r04o5_250[1]

Ricky: When I heard about the pregnancy scare, I knew I had to see you.

Maggie: Well, I’m really glad you did. (she smiles through her tears)

Ricky smiles.

Maggie: I don’t wanna fight with you. Especially if  I only have you for (glances at the clock) 10 more minutes.

Ricky: Thank you. I love you so much.

Maggie: Come hold me until you have to leave.

Ricky smiles walking over to her and pulling her into a tight hug. He kisses her forehead. Maggie hugs him tighter, and looks up at him. He leans down and kisses her.

Maggie: You promise you’ll come back?

Ricky: I promise.

Maggie: You better. Because if you don’t I will hunt you down myself, and kick your ass. (she pushes him away, he smiles and pulls her into a kiss.)micky 13

Ricky: Trust me, nothing in this world, is going to keep me away from you.

Maggie smiles up at Ricky, and touches his face in adoration.

Maggie’s phone rings.

She picks it up, and walks back toward Ricky, who wraps her back in his arms.

Maggie: Hello?

Lily: Hey…how’s it going? How you feeling?

Ricky: (brings his finger to his lips, whispering) Shh.

Maggie: Better.

Lily: Yea?

kissesssssRicky smiles, kissing her neck, and pulling her closer.

Maggie: Yea. I’m much better.

Lily: That’s great. Do you want to meet up for lunch?

Maggie: Yea sure. I’ll call you back in a bit, ok?

Lily: Sure… tumblr_mwnz1pZSVz1qdoecso1_r1_250[1]

Maggie hangs up and kisses Ricky.

Lily hangs up too and looks at her phone surprised at Maggie’s sudden shift in mood.

Then returns her attention to the little kids running around her classroom, playing games and singing silly songs.

-<3-

* I do not take credit for any gifs, or any images used in my (crappy) edits or otherwise. *

 

Love Conflicted- Chapter 6

Previously on Love Conflicted

Read Part 5 HERELC poster

Due to sexual content

Due to sexual content

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This chapter is a little riskier than most…in regards to sexual content. But it’s rather timid, I think. This is just a slight warning. I find I censor things a lot on this blog, and in my storytelling, because I’m unsure how to proceed without it being received as a trashy, tacky, overly done love scene. I’m a writer, I have to bite the bullet some time and post a freakin love scene. If any of you read my other series Mysterious Attraction, you know I shied away from sex scenes, they were rather implied than actually spoken of, or described to any major extent. When the truth is I’m a romantic at heart (you guys know that), I believe in love and well sexual scenes are bound to come up in love stories. There’s just no way around them. As a writer I need to learn to write out of my comfort zone. So in this chapter things get a little sexy. Let’s all blush now and get it over with. We’re all adults here. (I hope) And hey if you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey (which you bet your ass I have)…this will be Disney rated in comparison. Haha. Enjoy!

tumblr_mwq04o7S6O1qax2xho4_r1_250[1]Ian stands outside a door. He scans the hallway, before knocking three times.

The door opens, and Ricky stands there.

Ricky: What are you doing here? Who’s watching Maggie?

iannnIan: Her friend Lily is staying the night. And I have an off duty friend keeping an eye on the building.

Ricky: What friend? Ian we didn’t agree to any extra people knowing about this. It’s supposed to be you. You’re the only one I trust.

Ian: Look the guy doesn’t have a clue what we’re doing. He doesn’t know about you. He just thinks he’s plain old security. I told him to just call me if anything suspicious comes up. Besides Lily is onto me. If Maggie gets wind of me. You’re screwed. We’re both screwed.

Ricky: Yea that makes sense. Did you have a chance to-

Ian: I only had a 1 minute window, while they were on their way back home, I snuck in, the mic is under her living room lamp shade. We should be able to hear anything they say, and anything that happens we’ll know about it. It’ll help us keep her safe.

Ricky: Ok good. Dial us in.

Ian pulls out some equipment from a duffel back he was carrying.ian and rikcy

He fiddles around on his laptop and soon Lily’s voice is heard, filling the small hotel room.

Lily: Here’s your tea sweetie.

Lily and Maggie are sitting in Maggie’s living room on the couch in their pajamas.

Maggie: Thanks. sleepover

Ricky’s head shoots up at the sound of Maggie’s voice.

Lily: Are you feeling any better?

Maggie: (laughs with dryness) This tea is much needed. But I can’t say it’s exactly a cure-all. Nothing is. He’s not here, and I can’t change that.

Ricky winces, hearing Maggie’s upset tone.00224_zps265b34a6[1]

Lily: What can I do?

Maggie: You’re doing it. You’re here. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you here. You’re the only one who knew us, as an us.

Lily smiles taking her friend’s hand.

Ricky sits down in a chair, listening intently as Ian joins him.

Maggie takes a sip of her tea.

tumblr_nlrzsuE37S1txp1h4o2_500[1]Lily: Tell me a story.

Maggie: What?

Lily: Tell me a story about Ricky. About the two of you. Let’s remember him, let’s remember how much he loved you. How much you loved each other.
Maggie: I don’t know if I can handle that right now- (she chokes out, tears starting to form yet again.)

Lily: Ok, fine, I’ll start it.

Lily scans the room, and grabs a picture.

Lily: Ah what about this one? Tell me the story behind this night.

Maggie shakes her head.tumblr_mqrm3ucVaQ1qfwu1ho4_250[1]

Lily: You guys went to that fancy dinner party…the one that hosted your favorite author’s new book launch- or something? Right?

Maggie: Yea. (she smiles, taking the photo from her hand)

Ricky smiles knowing which picture.

micky 5

Ian glances over at his friend.

As the girls talk, the guys reactions are intertwined accordingly. Ricky is spying on his girlfriend, who thinks he’s dead. In his mind he thinks he’s just doing so to make sure she stays safe. A way to be there without actually being there. But what he finds out next, will make him feel a range of emotions.

Lily: (smiling) Pretty sure a lot more happened that night…if I remember correctly.

Maggie blushes and smiles, adverting her eyes.

Lily: Talk to me. Tell me. I know it’s hard. But I think it’s what you need. You need to talk about him. You need to grieve.

Maggie: (takes a breath) That night was the first night he spent here with me.

Lily: And was it amazing? (she teases her smile infectious)

Maggie: Lily you know this story. I’ve told you it before.

ricky and ian frieIan looks at Ricky who is smiling hearing her voice, but the sadness in his eyes matches the sadness in his heart for not being able to be with her.

Lily: Refresh my memory.

Maggie: Lily.

Lily: Maggie? Trust me on this okay. You need this. You’re trying so hard to suppress how he made you feel, because you’re hurting, but that’s just making you hurt even more. Let it in. Let him in. He won’t let you down. I promise you. Trust him. Trust his love. Trust his memory. That’s what’s gonna get you through this. Well that and tequila.

Maggie laughs.

Ricky and Ian exchange glances and small chuckles.

Ian: She’s good.

Ricky: She always is. Lily never questioned Maggie and I. It’s what I always loved about her. She’s the perfect friend to be helping Maggie through this. I couldn’t have asked for better.

Lily: So….(coaxing her on, to tell the story behind the photo.)

Maggie: The book preview ran late, and Ricky and I didn’t drive, because well there was a wine bar.

Lily: Duh?

Maggie: (laughs) And I was going to take the train home, but Ricky insisted on paying for a cab. He didn’t want me going home late alone. He walked me up to my apartment door, and I always thought that he had a hidden agenda. He had asked the cab driver to wait, but I could have sworn I saw him sneak and pay the guy before he left the car. As if he kind of knew it was gonna happen.

Lily: Ricky…you sly sly dog.

Ricky and Ian laugh.tumblr_nji5630ttC1tjodfqo2_500[1]

Ian: Did you?

Ricky: Hey… I was only going off of her leads.

Maggie: (laughs) No no. I’m pretty sure he was just going off of my body language. I wasn’t exactly keeping my hands to myself that night.

Ricky smiles and points at Ian.

Lily: So you’re the sly dog?

Maggie: No. I just knew what I wanted. And I wasn’t about to sit around and wait for it, when I knew it was what he wanted too. Sometimes we just get in our own ways, and we waste so much time. I was over it. I wanted him. He wanted me. So I dove.

Ricky’s eyebrow cocks up at Maggie’s boldness.

Lily: That’s my girl.

Maggie: So he walked me to my door, we kissed goodnight, and that escalated rather quickly (she laughs) and then before I knew it clothes were everywhere and it was just kind of… happening. And he was amazing and sweet and sexy…so so sexy. My god…Ricky is one sexy man.

Ricky and Ian are laughing.

Ian: Damn Rick. I’m just learning so much about you.

Ricky: (laughs) You shouldn’t be hearing this.

Ian: What Lily knows the story, and I can’t? (he kids)

Ricky: Well if you’re gonna listen shh, I’ve never heard her side of this story. (he smirks, listening intently)

Maggie: I just remember thinking, if I could pick one man to do this with, for the rest of my life. It’d be him. Hands down.

Ricky smiles.tumblr_nji5630ttC1tjodfqo1_500[1]

Maggie: There was something about being with him that electrified everything in me. It was kind of like taking a shot of tequila without a chaser, you know that flutter you get in your stomach, this was like that, but better. Way better.

Lily: That’s a new description, I don’t remember you throwing that one out the first time you told me this story. I would have remembered that. Damn that sounds hot. Phew. (Lily fans herself dramatically, as the girls share a laugh.)

Ricky covers his face slightly embarrassed but even more so pleased by Maggie’s description of their first time together. He never heard her describe it.

Lily: It was never just sex with Ricky. You know I don’t think you truly know what making love is, until you really feel every movement being made. You can get swept up in lust and miss so much. But love; it’s poetic, it’s gentle, it’s raunchy, it’s aggressive, it’s needy, it’s kind; all in one. And that kind of thing, that kind of feeling, that kind of connection to another human being, it’s once in a lifetime. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. Or at least that’s how it should be. We go through life, thinking we need to hop from one person to the next. In fear of settling down. That if we do that too quickly, it’s somehow against the rules. Well I’ve followed rules my entire life. And now at work, I set them. And I was tired of it. I was tired of feeling trapped. Meeting Ricky was the best thing that ever happened to me. He woke me up. He helped me live. And even though he’s gone, I am so glad I got to experience all of that with him.

Ricky’s eyes well up and he brushes his hands over his face.tumblr_niljqcmNIE1r3i2gwo3_400[1]

Ian: (noticing) Dude. I can’t understand how you can do this…do you hear her?

Ricky: Look I get that this sucks. Ok? That most certainly is not lost on me. But this is the only way I know that she will be safe.

Ian: It’s killing her.

Ricky: You don’t think I know that. You don’t think it’s tearing me apart, knowing that I’m hurting her. Knowing I can’t be there with her. It’s killing me. It is physically wrecking me. I’m half between delirium and losing my mind here, Ian. I’m not doing this just to do it. I’m doing it because I love her, and if anything were to happen to her because of me, I couldn’t live with myself.

Ian: I just- I know. But it’s not easy being the one who has to face it head on. I’m the one that had to tell her you were dead. I’m the one that has to see the pain on her face everyday.

Ricky: Dude, really. Not helping.

iannnIan: I’m sorry. But that feisty Lily nearly bit my head off. She’s onto us. I think she may even think you’re alive too. I may have slipped up in my choice of words.

Ricky looks at him.

Ricky: You are the worst CIA agent ever.

Ian: Ricky I’m sorry man she just caught me off guard, and she’s really kinda sexy, I kinda lost my cool for a minute. It won’t happen again. Now I know what to expect with her. I can be more prepared. I swear man, I’m so sorry.

Ricky starts laughing.

Ian looks at him confused.

Ricky: I’m messing with you. Look I get it ok? The right girl can distract you from anything, even the most important job. One look and you’re a goner. Trust me I know.

Ian: Is that what happened with you and Maggie?

Ricky: Pretty much, I was on an assignment, things backfired and I found myself in the middle of a disaster that I needed a break from. I happened to be in the right place at right time, and bumped into Maggie. Seeing her just kind of made everything else melt away. I didn’t even know her. But something in me knew I had to protect her.

Ian: Well Lily, she doesn’t need my protection. You don’t think she’ll tell Maggie what she suspects, do you?

Ricky: (laughs) She would never tell Maggie, not now. Not unless she was positive about the whole situation. That girl is tough. She looks out for her friends.

Ian: I can tell. I kinda like her though, she’s got something about her. I can’t stop thinking about her. (he grabs a beer out of Ricky’s mini fridge)

Ricky: Oh yea that whole feisty tough girl routine, that’ll reel you in quick. But Lily’s also a sweetheart. She’s been a really good friend to me and my girl. If you’re gonna look to go for her, be careful. Treat her well. She’s a good one.

Ian: Just like Maggie.

Ricky: Just like my Maggie. (he smiles, looking at the picture of him and Maggie)

micky pic 3

Ian: What’s that?

Lily and Maggie are chatting about Maggie possibly coming back to work their voices trail off in the background of the hotel, as Ian and Ricky continue to talk.

Ricky: (hands Ian the photo) This was like a week after we met. I took her to this concert she had been going on and on about, and I remember just looking over at her, and she was just bobbing to the music, singing along. And everything just kind of clicked for me. This girl was perfect. And life was simple. I was normal. And I knew she was the one. She was it. 30 seconds later, I told her I loved her.

Ian: Wait a minute and this was one week into your relationship?

Ricky: One week. 7 perfect days. Each one better than the next. (he takes a sip of his beer)

Ian: You didn’t think it was too soon? You weren’t worried she’d get freaked out and scared off?

Ricky: Why? I live my life by risks. I risk my life every day for stupid shit, that doesn’t even really matter to me. What did I really have to lose? The way I saw it, I had more to lose by not telling her. By letting her go without her knowing how hard I had fallen. When you know you just know. And seeing her, and being near her, getting to know her, I just knew.

Ian: So what’d she say?

Ricky: She laughed at first, I don’t think she knew I was being serious right away. Then the laughter turned into this kind of nervous giggle. (he laughs) Her nervous laugh, my god, it’s the cutest thing you’ll ever see, or hear. She began to ramble about how she was caught off guard and how she didn’t know what to say, so I just grabbed her and kissed her. (he shrugs) I didn’t want anything from her. I just wanted her to know. I knew I was moving fast, so I really wasn’t expecting her to say it back. But 30 seconds later, she did. And I don’t think I have ever been happier. She changed my life.

Ian nods.

Lily’s voice cuts through their conversation like a knife.

Lily: Why didn’t you tell Ricky about the baby?

Ricky’s focus shifts and his head shoots up.ian and rikcy

Ian’s eyes go wide.

Maggie: I tried, but not hard enough. I just could never find the right time or place. There was so much going on with us. We were so up and down and I wasn’t sure I was even really pregnant. I didn’t wanna get things even more crazy complicated for no reason. Turns out I was right not to make a big deal about it, right?

Ricky: Oh my god.

He stands up pacing, starting to freak out.

Lily: You know he would have wanted to be with you, if he knew.

sleepoverMaggie: I know. But everything just happened so fast and I just never got to tell him it was even a possibility. And then when I knew it wasn’t anymore, it was too late. Now that Ricky’s gone and I know I’m not pregnant. It’s just too late. It’s too late for anything.

Ricky’s confusion is evident.

Ricky: (to Ian) Did you know about any of this?

Ian: No Rick, not at all. I just set up the mic before I came to you.

Ricky: Oh my god. She thought she was pregnant? I can’t even believe this. I can’t believe that I’m not there with her, for this. She’s probably freaking out… on another level now!

Ian nods knowingly.

Ian: Ricky, man. I’m so sorry. If I would have heard anything, I definitely would have told you sooner.

Ricky is pacing his hotel room, trying to decide something.

Ricky: I need to see her.

Ian: Ricky?

Ricky: You need to get me in there… I need to see her. I can’t let her go through this without me. Not this. This is too big.

Ian: You know what you’re risking right?

Ricky: I can protect her. I just need to see her. Ian, man, please. I just need a few hours.

Ian: Ok, I can get you in there. But you have to wear a disguise, stay hidden, don’t draw any attention to yourself whatsoever. And you can’t stay long. One hour tops.

Ricky: I got it.

Ian: You need to be careful Rick. I mean it. Otherwise all of this will be for nothing.

Ricky: I know. I’m so close to getting to be with her again, full time. I’m not about to ruin it. I’ll be careful. I’ll be fine.

Ian: Ok. But here. (handing him some things to disguise himself) I’ll drive.

Very early that morning around 5 am, Ricky makes his way toward Maggie’s apartment door. He’s wearing a black hoodie, dark jeans, a black beanie and black sunglasses.

He listens to the feed from Maggie’s apartment in his ear. Lily is just about leaving.

He hides in the shadows of the hallway.

Maggie opens the door as Lily exits the apartment.

Ricky catches a glimpse of Maggie. Her eyes all puffy and red. He just wants to rush over to her and take her in his arms and stop her pain.

Lily: I just wanted to run home to change before work. Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?

Maggie: Yes I’ll be fine.

Lily: You call me, if you need anything. Ok? Anything. Any time. Don’t hesitate. Ok?tumblr_ll0l3pdDDf1qakgyy[1]

Maggie: I will. Thank you Lil- I don’t know what I would do without you.

Lily: You’ll never have to find out.

The girls hug each other tightly, and then Lily leaves.

Maggie gets a feeling. She scans the hallway. Ricky hides back in the shadows away from her eyesight. Maggie shakes it off and goes back inside. She goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

Ricky carefully and quietly picks her apartment door lock, and lets himself in.

He hears the shower running. He looks around the apartment, taking off his hat and glasses. He’s walking around touching each picture of them as he does. He walks into her bedroom and sits on her bed. He brushes his hand over the soft blanket. He has a flashback of him and Maggie kissing the night they first were together in her apartment. He closes his eyes and remembers. He opens them and leans over to her vanity. He picks up her favorite perfume bottle and sniffs it. That’s My Maggie, he thinks.

ricky spies on maggie

Then he hears her voice. She’s humming a song. Their song. The song they first danced to. He smiles, following her voice. He walks into the bathroom. Her silhouette is shown through the shower door. Her body is perfect, he thinks. Ricky doesn’t want to jump the gun too soon. He doesn’t want to frighten her. He doesn’t want her freaking out and getting hurt. She thinks he’s dead after all. But he needed to be near her. He needed to touch her. And he couldn’t wait another minute. Ricky takes off his shoes opens the door slightly, climbing in, fully dressed.

Maggie feeling the draft and a presence turns to be met my Ricky’s lips on hers.

Maggie feeling the familiar body starts kissing him back.tumblr_nic86frUnA1rays90o2_500[1]

Ricky pulls away just enough to stare into her eyes.

Ricky: Hello gorgeous.

Maggie stares at him, dumbfounded.

Maggie: Ricky!

Ricky: Hey baby. (he smiles brightly)

Maggie: What are you-? How are you-?

kisssRicky: Do you really think I could ever leave you?

Maggie: But you-

Ricky: Shh. Just say hi- (he cups her face.)

Maggie: Hi, (she chokes out before he kisses her again, she wraps her arms around him, and he pulls her closer to him.)

Ricky unzips his sweater, while Maggie begins to help him disguard his clothes.

Ricky lifts Maggie up as he continues to kiss her, the water pours down over them. At that moment, whether Maggie thought she was just imagining him or not, nothing else mattered.

tumblr_ljoss25X7F1qg2pbdo1_500[1]

**********

Well…Ricky and Maggie had quite the “steamy” reunion…(steamy…shower, get it? harty har har) What do you think is next for these two lovebirds? Are they out of the woods yet? And it was pretty timid stuff right? Nothing too crazy? I have to admit I was nervous to post this. But what the hell. Tell me what you think!

Find out where this love story goes next, when Love Conflicted  continues this Thursday! 😀

* I do not take credit for any gifs, or any images used in my (crappy) edits or otherwise. *

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 5

Previously on Love Conflicted…LC poster

Read Part 4 HERE

Maggie’s apartment is a little brighter somehow. Maybe it’s because the shades are finally open or maybe it’s the presence of a friend to hold her hand during this heartbreaking time. Lily sits aside her on the couch.talking

Maggie: I don’t know Lil, something in me just can’t comprehend this. I feel like it’s not real. Half the time I can’t even get out of bed, and when I do well this is what I look like. It’s indescribable, how bad this hurts.

Lily knowingly nods and takes her friend’s hand.

Lily: Why don’t we take a walk? I’ll buy you lunch. The fresh air and carbs will do you good.

Maggie:(shrugging) Ok. Yea.

Lily: Yea?

Maggie: I’ve been living off of cereal. So…

Lily: Well then I think it’s time we change that, huh? Come on. I got ya.

Lily pulls Maggie into a side hug and leads her toward the door.walking

Maggie and Lily walk down the street toward a little coffee house. Its mid-day approaching night fall. People are walking about; busy and having places to go and people to see. Maggie hasn’t seen outdoors let alone any actual sunlight in a week. Her mind is still housing an out of body foggy feeling. But she can’t deny that it did feel good to be out. Maggie breathes in the fresh air, as her heart beats a little steadier having a friend in this.

candice-accola-caroline-forbes-vampire-diaries-Favim.com-165338[1]

Lily ushers her into the coffee house, but as she does something wills her to take a scan of her surroundings. She notices a few parked cars, all vacant except one. She thinks for a brief second that it’s odd but then returns her attention to Maggie as they walk into the coffee house.

Coffee houseLily and Maggie are seated. And have ordered some Paninis and coffee.

Maggie looks around her eyes adjusting to the world again.

“Could she even do something like that, adjust to a world that Ricky is no longer a part of?”  She thinks, as she sips her coffee.

Maggie: You know even so, even after I got that call, I still felt…I feel  like he’s somehow still out there, and I know that sounds crazy but-

Lily: I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. In fact maybe he is. I mean you guys always had a really intense connection. You could always tell what was going on with him. Besides who is this Ian person anyway, who’s to say he’s telling the truth. Maybe there’s more to the story.

Maggie: Oh I know for a fact that there’s more to the story. He just can’t…or won’t tell me it. But please god let’s not go there. Please don’t put false hope in my head. I can’t lose him a second time.

Lily: Ok, ok. I know. I’m sorry. I’m just saying if you feel something, maybe there’s a reason. What does your heart tell you?

Maggie: (tearing up) That Ricky and I were nowhere near done. He’s the love of my life. (She shrugs) The time we spent apart, me trying to fight it, it was all useless. It was a waste of time, time I could have spent with him.

Lily takes her friend’s hand from across the table, and she smiles showcasing her true empathy.

Lily: I’m so so sorry that you’re going through all of this. I wish I could change it for you.

Maggie: You know I kept thinking why was I so calm about waiting to find out if I was really pregnant. I just kept putting it off. And you know not knowing is not my thing.

Lily: Yea, you’re not exactly a fly by your seat kind of girl. (She takes a sip of her coffee)

Maggie:(shaking her head) No, not at all. But the more I kept putting it off, the more I began to realize that it wasn’t because I was scared of it being positive…or scared of choosing to be with him, quite frankly my heart already chose him for me…I love him. I was scared that it wouldn’t be positive. And it wasn’t. I would have been ok with it being positive…I would have been more than ok with having a baby with him. I wanted that life…and not just in general… but with him. I always have. And now I’m never going to get to have that. And I wish I was pregnant, now more than ever, because then at least I’d have a piece of him with me forever. And maybe that sounds selfish but-

Lily: It doesn’t.

Maggie: I just- I can’t-

Lily moves over to the other side and hugs her friend tighter.

Maggie: (crying harder, and wiping her tears from her cheeks) I just keep thinking, did he know…I mean did he really know how much I love him?

Lily: He knew. Anyone who got the rare chance to catch a glimpse of your relationship, could tell. Trust me, he knew. And he loved you just the same.

The-Vampire-Diaries-3x14-Dangerous-Liaisons-HD-Screencaps-caroline-forbes-28981119-1280-720[1]Through the coffee house window, sits a man in a parked car, watching way more intently than any normal bystander should. The same car and man from before. He looks like he’s on a mission and upon comforting Maggie in her time of need, Lily takes notice. The man looks away.

normal_Revenge416-2454[1]

Lily: Hey, why don’t I take you back home, ok? It’s getting late, you should rest.

Maggie: Yea I think I’ve had enough of the world for today. (She laughs with little amusement)

Lily leaves money on the table and ushers her friend out. As they leave Lily notices the car and the man inside are gone. She drapes her arm over Maggie’s shoulder and walks her home.

side hug

Lily is returning from dropping Maggie off at home and notices the same car from the coffee house is parked this time right across from Maggie’s building, adjacent to her apartment window.

Inside the car sits a man, talking on a cell phone, the conversation seems rather heated.

“She’s not alone, her friend came over…a blonde. No she’s not okay. No, she’s a mess. What do you expect? Whatever…look-”

Lily stops and stares at the car. She couldn’t hear what the man was saying but she had a feeling he’d been watching her and Maggie. And Lily was not about to let that slide.car cleavage

Lily walks over to the car and knocks hard on the window. The man gets startled and hangs up his phone quickly.

He rolls his window down, peering up at Lily.

“Can I help you?” He says.

Lily leans down, and comes face to face with a handsome, blue eyed man. Lily smiles brightly, her cleavage just enough to divert the man’s attention for a second.

normal_Revenge416-2456[1]Lily: (noticing) Eyes up here buddy.

The man slightly embarrassed, mentally kicking himself for being so obvious locks eyes with hers.

(Laughs) “Can I help you?” He repeats.

car window

Lily: Yea, you can…why the hell are you following my friend?

The man looks shocked at her clever eye.

Lily: Because I have to tell you if you’re supposed to be discreet, you’re doing a really shitty job. I spotted you from the minute I came over to visit her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lily: (glares at him) You’re never going to get rid of me with that lie.

“Look I can’t say anything-I’m just doing my job. There are serious things going on. I’m just trying to keep your friend safe.”

Lily: You’re Ian…aren’t you?

The man looks at her, unsure of what to say.

tumblr_n1vi73F5d11rjqfn9o8_500[1]Lily: (smiles flirtatiously) Your silence speaks volumes.

Even when she’s being bossy, Lily had this way of being sexy. The man remains tightlipped, which only frustrates Lily more. She huffs, opens the car door and gets in the passenger seat. The man looks at her in even more shock than when she first called him out.

car talk 2Lily: Let’s pretend I actually believe you. If you are this Ian person, that means you know what actually happened to Ricky. And in all honesty just the fact that little old me was enough to rattle your cage and throw you off your game, speaks for itself. If you ask me, I think there’s more to this story.

“With all due respect but I didn’t ask you,” He says.

Lily: (smiles) Minor Detail. (She shrugs) If you think I’m going to let you off the hook, without sharing, you are seriously mistaken handsome. But don’t worry I know how to keep a secret.

He looks at her…dumbfounded…yet again. This girl has some guts. I could be a psycho, He thinks.

Ian: (sighs heavily) My name is Ian. I work with Ricky. And I really am just trying to keep an eye on Maggie. There are a lot of unresolved things going on right now, and while you’re sitting here distracting me, she could be in danger.

Lily: (narrows her gaze) Fine, get back to work then. Maybe be a little more stealth about it, huh? Don’t need you drawing any extra attention, to an already delicate situation. But remember I’m onto you. And if you think I’m leaving Maggie alone tonight, you’ve got another thing coming. I don’t trust you for shit.

Ian: I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re smart not to.

Lily steps out of the car and turns to walk away, but stops.

Lily: (bends down to peer through the window again) Do you work or did you work with Ricky? Because you said and I quote “I work with Ricky,” as in present tense.

Ian: An oversight. I guess it’s been hard adapting. I’m sure your friend Maggie has made mistakes like that over the past week.

Lily: Hmmm? Interesting. Men in the CIA are always so keen, so on their game, their attention to detail can be astounding.

Ian is shocked at her knowledge. Lily was the only friend who knew about Ricky’s secret life. Lily was also the only one who got to truly witness how in love Ricky and Maggie really were. The rest of the world thought they were just casual acquaintances. It took work, but they both gave it their all, because they knew it was worth it, just to be together.

Ian: Can being the operative word. Loss will affect anybody, anytime, anywhere.

Lily: Maybe.

normal_Revenge416-2431[1]Ian: Besides, information like that in the wrong hands (he shrugs, looking her over) can be dangerous. You know a little too much, bright eyes.

Lily: Are you threatening me? Or flirting with me?

Ian: Neither. Or maybe both. Or maybe just the latter. (He smirks) I’ll leave it up to your interpretation. But don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on you too, just in case.

Lily: (laughs sarcastically) Oh I bet you will. But I’d rather take my chances defending myself, you’retumblr_inline_mw9wffWYW51qfmnua[1] not exactly doing the best job. And in case you haven’t noticed I can handle myself pretty well.

Ian: Oh I’ve noticed. I guess I just wasn’t trained to deal with beautiful distractions.

Lily: Hmm, I guess not. Word of advice never underestimate the best friend, she’s always the one you need to get through first.

Ian: (smirking) I wouldn’t think of it.

Lily walks away back toward Maggie’s apartment and Ian’s eyes wander after her. His phone rings.

Ian: Hello?…Yea we may have a problem. I just met the blonde, she’s feisty that’s for sure….and did I mention that I can’t believe you’re making me do this…

tumblr_ne2ikuxL1a1tjodfqo1_500[1]In a darkened motel somewhere unnoticeable, sits a shadowy figure in a chair. A hand reaches for a nearby lamp, turning it on, Ricky’s face comes into view.

tumblr_mwq04o7S6O1qax2xho1_250[1]Ricky: I see you’ve met Lily. She’s a good friend. Don’t worry about her. Just a little while longer, and it’ll all be over…but until then, keep my girl safe. I’m trusting you. She means everything to me. (he says looking at a picture of he and Maggie from his wallet.)

tumblr_nk78h6LEta1tkuq2lo1_500[1] micky pic 3

To be continued…

 Did you think I’d actually leave you hanging?

Of course Ricky’s ALIVE!

#MaggieIsGonnaFreak

#WhoDigsLily

#ShesSassy

#IanThinksSoToo

#SpoilerAlert? 😉

Did you enjoy meeting Ian?

Nick Wechsler is my #dreamcast

Nick Wechsler is my #dreamcast “Ian”

lily and ian

Ian & Lily

***QUICK AUTHOR’S NOTE***

For those keeping up with Love Conflicted, I just want to quickly clue you in on my plans for posting the duration of the story. In order to preserve the momentum and give you the best story I can give you, I’m going to take a break from posting for this story. I post as I write (it works for me) and it’s just kind of coming out of me and flowing, but I don’t want the next few parts to be forced or rushed. I’m not quite sure how I want things to go from here. So I’m gonna take some time to finish it and then I will post accordingly. Thanks so much for reading! I will have some other fun stuff for you guys to read in the meantime. And please feel free to tell me what you think in the comments below, or follow me on twitter and let’s chat there! Tell me, tell me all the things 😉 Keep writing and keep feeling all the feels you lovely humans!

Twitter: @shellbelle91

 ** I do not take credit for any gifs, or any images used in my edits or otherwise. **

-<3-

 

Watch Her Walk Away

This short is gonna be a little loud, a little different. It’s not my typical heartfelt take on love. It’s a wee bit more bitter and I definitely use some explicit language here. But I still think there is an heir of inspiration deep within the bitter-field. 😉 What is a writer if not adaptable to all emotions? This one is frustration and angst. Enjoy the ride. And if it’s not your cup of tea, come back next week and I’ll have something nice and fluffy and full of love for ya.

Parental-advisory-explicit-lyrics

So here we go…this is

watch her walk away poster

– A Short Story about a girl named Sarah and a boy named Clay and what happens when she learns she finally has her chance to say all the things she never got to…

meet clay and sarah

Sarah walks aimlessly down a New York City street.

She just bought her favorite cup of tea.

Decaf green with some lemon and honey for zing.

The sun is shining, her favorite soundtrack is playing in her ears.

Something fun loving, soft, soulful… but earthy as hell.

The kind of song you just get feel good vibes from.

The kind of song that will make you want to “dance in the street” while everyone on that street is watching.

It’s one of those days where your soul feels rejuvenated and all is right in the world.

And there’s a spring in your step and you don’t quite know why?

Sarah’s outfit is on point.

Her hair managed to cooperate this morning and she had just enough time to throw on some makeup.

It’s a rare occurrence.

But she’s convinced herself she doesn’t need it.

And she doesn’t.

No girl does.

As she saunters her way down the street random faces buzz her by.

And she is feeling like she finally has her shit together.

At least for today.

Then something wills her to stop.

A stare.

A feeling.

And she stills and turns toward the adjacent block.

She notices someone looking at her from across the way.

She squints.

She doesn’t recognize the person, but it is a man.

He waves.

She looks behind her, to find no one else returning his greeting.

He must be waving at me then she decides.

She looks back and waves in confusion, still unable to make out his face, damn near sighted-ness.

The man smiles and crosses the street coming over to meet her.

Just then Sarah realizes who it is and she turns away for a beat.

Her heart starting to beat faster.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Sarah: (to herself) Ok you have two choices here Sarah. Either you can run and you’ll always wonder, or you can stand your ground and face him.

Clay: Hey gorgeous! (He smiles coming up behind her) It’s been a while.

Sarah: (whipping around) It has. (She grins through a fake smile)

Clay: How the hell are you?

Sarah: I’m sorry, are we really gonna stand here and do this?

Clay: (in confusion) Do what?

Sarah: Act like it’s actually nice to see each other. Just because we happen to be on the same planet, living in the same city, and walking on the same street, doesn’t mean it has to be acknowledged.

Clay: Then why wave back? Why not just keep walking?

Sarah: Because I didn’t know who you were. And I was being polite.

Clay: You always did forget your glasses. (He laughs shaking his head)

Sarah: Oh just don’t.

Clay: Don’t what?

Sarah: Do this. This trip down memory lane. Don’t Clay…You were an asshole.

Clay: I know.

Sarah: And you hurt me.

Clay: I know that too.

Sarah: And then you left.

Clay: That was a mistake.

Sarah: Ironically enough it was the best mistake you ever made.

Sarah turns on her heel and walks away.

Clay: (calling after her) What does that mean?

Sarah: (turning back toward him) It means I’m free. I’m finally free. (She throws her hands up and laughs)

Clay: (in confusion) Free from what?

Sarah: You. After all this time I have wracked my brain trying to understand you, understand your side of it. Why you did what you did, and how you did it? But now seeing you I realize I don’t fucking care. I don’t give a fuck. And that is fucking liberating. So fuck you Clay. Fuck you and your condescending bullshit, and your misogynistic ways, and fuck your inability to grow the fuck up.

Clay: Sarah I-

Sarah: I’m gonna walk away now and you can watch me.

Clay stares after her dumbfounded

Sarah: Have a nice life…fucktard! (Throwing her middle fingers in the air as she glides off in perfect contentment.)

post-18785-Emma-Stone-middle-finger-stj4[1] post-18785-Emma-Stone-giving-finger-angry-ogH6[1]

Crushed it. Sarah thinks as she walks away.

Sometimes in life, you just need to have a sense of humor and say, “F*ck it.” 😉

-The End-

Emma & Adam; #dreamcasting

Emma & Adam; #dreamcasting

*I do not take credit for the images used in my edits or otherwise.*

*******QUICK BLOG NOTE! *******

Ok just wanted to say, for anyone keeping up with the “Love Conflicted” short I have been posting I was in the process of editing Part 4 (to be posted today,) but apparently this little sassy tidbit had been scheduled ahead of time and I forgot. So please enjoy “Watch Her Walk Away” instead. I will be back with the continuation of “Love Conflicted” next week; Monday. But feel free to catch up while you wait! 😉

Enjoy your holiday weekend! And keep writing, and keep feeling all the feels you lovely humans!

LC poster

Part 4 Coming Soon!

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 3

Previously on Love ConflictedLC poster

Read Part 2 HERE

Maggie paces her apartment in worry. It’s midnight and she hasn’t heard from Ricky since he left her earlier that morning for a job assignment. It’s been hours.

Maggie looks at her phone for the hundredth time. She dials his number yet again.

Maggie: Hi. Me again. Look I realize you are probably used to me not answering my phone and I get it. Maybe you are just trying to give me a piece of my own medicine. But here’s the thing. I’m kind of freaking out here, Ricky. This isn’t like you. It’s been hours since I last saw you, or heard from you. And you said you’d be over later. And I know you left to take care of something and I’m just, I’m really worried. Please call me back. I need to know you’re okay. I love you.

Maggie hangs up and rushes to the bathroom. She vomits into the toilet. Maggie sinks back onto the bathroom floor, leaning against the tub. Her eyes wonder over to the trashcan. She leans over to it and pulls it to her. Reaching into it, Maggie pulls out her pregnancy test. She takes a deep breath and flips it over.

-One bar- is clearly shown on the pregnancy test.

Maggie: It’s negative? she says confused

Before she has time to process her new revelation, Maggie’s phone begins to ring. She hurries to answer it.

The number is unknown.

“This has to be him,” she thinks.Haley-haley-james-scott-30606865-245-169[1]

Maggie: Hello? Ricky? Where are you?

Ian: Hello, is this Maggie?

Maggie: (heart stops) Who is this?

Ian: Ma’am, my name is Ian. I work with Ricky.

Maggie: Ok… well where is he? Is he okay?

At this point a million things are running through Maggie’s mind. Her stomach is in knots. Her heart is pounding. A nervous chill sweeps over her entire body. Something isn’t right, she could feel it. When it comes to Ricky, she could always feel if he was in some kind of trouble.

Ian: Ma’am I’m incredibly sorry to have to tell you this, but-

Maggie: But what? (she begins to shake)

Ian: Ricky was in the middle of an assignment and he was in an accident.

Maggie: What kind of accident?

Ian: I’m not in liberty to disclose that information.

Maggie: What the hell does that mean? You called me. I need to know what happened to my boyfriend!

Ian: All I can tell you is that he didn’t make it. I am sorry.

Maggie: What- no. No. You can’t tell me that. You can’t just say he had some sort of accident. An accident implies that it wasn’t intentional. Something tells me in your line of work everything is intentional. So you tell me what happened right now! Where is he?

Ian: I’m sorry. I just can’t. My sincere apologies for your loss. Ricky was one hell of a partner.

Ian hangs up.

Maggie is speechless.

She sits there in silent sobs as she crawls into a ball on her bathroom floor, her heart breaking into millions of tiny pieces.

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To be continued…

lc

I know this was a short one, but don’t fear, we’re building up here. 😉

  * I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise, or any gifs used. *

-<3-

Love Conflicted- Chapter 2

Previously on Love ConflictedLC poster

Read Part 1 HERE

Maggie walks into her apartment, closes the door and breathes a sigh of relief.

Leaning against her front door, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a bag.

Taking out a box; a pregnancy test box.

Maggie sighs walking into the bathroom.

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Maggie stands in her bathroom facing her mirror, even she doesn’t know how to feel, even she can’t read her own expression.

And now she waits. Looking at her phone, the timer she set counts down;

2:58, 2:57, 2:56…

In 3 minutes…

In just about 3 minutes her life is either going to be catastrophically complicated OR it’ll go back to some sort of normalcy.

“Who am I kidding, my life is already complicated,” Maggie thinks.

She glances at her phone again.

1:58, 1:57, 1:56…

“Deep breaths, just take deep breaths,” Maggie thinks and she breathes in and out, slowly trying to calm her obvious nerves.

Before she knows it Maggie notices her timer ticking rapidly down…

10, 9, 8, 7…

“It’s like the most bizarre New Year’s countdown you’ll ever see,” Maggie thinks.

“Great make jokes,” she scolds herself internally.

Her phone timer goes off. It’s time. Her fate awaits.

Maggie stills.

She picks up the pregnancy test and looks at her reflection in the mirror.

“I feel like I should be crying. Like I should be sad or…something.” She thinks.

Maggie: Stop overanalyzing and just look at the damn thing. (she says out loud)

She goes to look at it and then stops.

Maggie: On second thought, I don’t wanna know…not tonight.

She throws her test in the trash.

Maggie gets ready for bed and sits on her bed reading a book with a cup of tea nearby.

Before she knows it, it’s morning and the sun is peeking through her curtains.

Maggie wakes up slowly, stretching her arms out above her head. She feels good. It’s a new day.

And then it hits her. The fate of her and Ricky’s relationship hangs in the balance. And the unanswered question or rather the key to her dilemma is sitting in her bathroom trashcan as we speak.

“If it’s positive all the more reason to try to make it work. OR all the more reason to stay far far away from Ricky and his dangerous life.” She thinks.

Maggie gets up and walks into her kitchen, she looks in her refrigerator and takes out some eggs, as she begins to make herself an omelet.

Maggie’s mind begins to wander, and she feels as though she’s in a fog.

How long can she put this off?

How long can her sanity take not knowing?

Maggie sits at her table finishing her breakfast.

It feels like she’s just going through the motions.

She walks toward her bathroom, with the intent to take a shower.

She gets to the door, and stops.

“Maybe I’ll go for a walk, first.” She thinks.

“You’re stalling…” She thinks again.

“No, I just need some fresh air, and while I’m out I can pick up some fresh fruit and there’s some things I need to mail, and-”

“Stallingggg!!!” She thinks again.

Maggie: Shut up. (she says out loud)

Silencing the inner fight between her heart and her head, Maggie grabs a sweater, some shoes, her keys and phone, and rushes out of her apartment.

She finds herself in a nearby park, standing near a trickling fountain. It’s early morning. It’s pretty desolate. Her eyes gloss over as she becomes absorbed in the clearness of the water. Pure. Crystal. Untouched. Then she notices the sound of the water cascading. Its peaceful. Beautiful. Simple. And she lets herself stand there. In stillness. In awe. In the unknown. Maggie is content for a minute.

Until her phone starts to ring.

She sighs pulling it from her pocket.

“Back to reality.” She thinks.

She looks at it…

Ricky calling, is displayed across the screen.

Maggie sighs and hits decline.

Displaying her background screen; a sweet picture of her and Ricky; He’s holding her close and kissing her cheek while she smiles brightly.

Maggie stares at it for a bit.

Just then she hears a familiar voice behind her.

Ricky: Declining my call, yet again? I thought we were past that.

Maggie jumps and turns around.

Ricky smiles lovingly at her.

Maggie: And I thought we were past you stalking me. (she sits on the side of the fountain)

Ricky: (laughs) Oh wow. Ouch. (he joins her)

Maggie: I need time, Ricky. What happened to me calling you when I was ready?

Ricky: I don’t know. (he shrugs, matter of factly) I miss you.

Maggie softens and looks away.

Ricky: Are you ever going to be ready? Or are you just going to leave me hanging? Waiting for you to decide if you wanna be with me?

Maggie: I-

Ricky: (gets up kneeling in front of her, taking her hands) Maggie, you have me. I am at your feet, at your beck and call, hanging on your every word, wrapped around your little finger, and any other cliché phrase that shows how whipped a guy in love can be.

Maggie: You… are not whipped.

Ricky: Try me. I’ll do whatever you want. I love you.

Maggie: Ricky I just, I haven’t decided yet.

Ricky: Wow. (he let’s go of her hands, distancing himself) It’s that difficult. What does your heart tell you? What do you want?

Maggie: I don’t know.

Ricky: (standing up) Yes you do.

The truth is Maggie deep down knew exactly what she wanted, she was just to afraid to admit it to herself never the less admit it to Ricky.

Ricky: You know I can understand you needing time if I wasn’t willing to give up my job, but I am, I am more than willing to change my entire life, the only life I’ve ever known, just so I can be with you. But if you can’t even entertain the idea that you might actually be happy with me. Then I don’t know what else I can do. You need to meet me half way here Maggie. I can’t do this myself.

Maggie: I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know ok? You come into my life out of nowhere and you make me fall for you and then you go and drop this bomb on me. I don’t know what you want from me?

Ricky: I want you.

Maggie: You say that now, but what happens when you get bored? When you realize settling down isn’t what you want?

Ricky: I have always been a one woman kind of guy Maggie. I would never hurt you.

Maggie: That’s not what I’m worried about. I know you love me, and I know how loyal you are. I’m talking about the job. You live off of the rush you get when you have to do something dangerous. You can tell me you hate what you do, but you can’t look me in the eye and say you hate how powerful you feel. And something tells me the Wall Street stock market sales department won’t fill that need.

Ricky: Maybe not. But you will. Maggie, when I’m with you, nothing else matters. I don’t need car chases, or shoot outs to get a rush. My heart flies out of my chest just being in the same room as you, or just by hearing your voice. I am in this. I am so in this. (he takes her hands in his again and pulls her up to stand with him)

Maggie looks at him, at a loss for words.

Maggie: I don’t know what to say…

Ricky: Say you’ll be with me.

Maggie: You could end up hating me, resenting me…I don’t want that.

Ricky: Maggie I have never loved what I have to do in my job. I never wanted to be the guy that crossed that line. It started off with just wanting to right other people’s wrongs. Just trying to give them the fate they deserved. And justice for the ones they hurt. But the lines between who is truly good and bad has blurred. And at this point I don’t know which way is up. I had no idea what this job would turn into. How calculating they can be, and how it can consume your life. But I do know that being around you I know the goodness people can have in them, I feel the good. Before you I didn’t know love even existed. I didn’t have anyone to share my life with. I was lost and alone and I needed direction. The only pro to my job was running into you my chance. You are my sign, my direction.  I have a chance to get out. And I wanna take it. I wanna take it and I want us to start over. We can be happy, you know we can.

Maggie: So you’re saying you want like… a real future. You and me. Like wedding rings and-

Ricky: Marriage, kids, a house… hell yea.

Maggie: Ricky… before we go any further here, there’s something I need to tell you-

Ricky’s phone begins to ring.

He winces, seeing who it is, and knowing it’s not making his case any better.

Maggie: Take it.

Ricky: No, it can wait. Please continue.

Maggie: No, it’s fine. Take it.

Ricky: I’ll just be a minute.

Ricky takes the call walking off to the side.

Maggie watches him.

Ricky: Yea? … What? No… No I told you not to make a mess out of this… Who saw you? …What?… I’m on my way. Hide out until you hear from me.

Maggie is hearing his conversation.

She sees the anger etched on his face.

“How can someone who is so sweet and delicate with her turn into someone so cold and hurtful. How can he go from telling her how much he loves her and wants to start a life with her, to someone ordering another’s life to be ended?” She ponders.

Ricky hangs up and turns to Maggie.

Ricky: I’m sorry. But-

Maggie: Hey- duty calls.

Ricky: Maggie-

Maggie: No it’s ok look I get it. I haven’t given you the green light yet, so why would you get out a moment too soon.

Ricky: That’s not how it is. I just-

Maggie: Just go.

Ricky: No. You need to hear me out.

Maggie: Business is business, I get it. You can’t tell me anything anyway, so what’s the point.

Ricky rolls his eyes and grabs her hand pulling her behind some trees. He shuts off his cell phone.

Maggie: What are you doing?

Ricky: Hiding from ear shot. (he scans the area)

Ricky and Maggie are pinned against a tree, hidden from sight. Stuck in close quarters.

Maggie fidgets. Too close for Maggie’s sake or sanity.

Maggie: And the phone?

Ricky: Just in case they turn on my tracking or my spyware. They can check in anytime. (still scanning the area)

Maggie: What? (Ricky and Maggie share a moment, they lock eyes)

(shaking it off) You never told me that! Ricky! We’ve been together so many times, they definitely know who I am.

Ricky: Every time we were together, I’ve been careful.

Maggie: But we’ve done things Ricky, personal things. You’re telling me they could have phoned in at any point. They could have seen things, heard things. Wha-

Ricky: They haven’t. Trust me. I would never put you in that kind of danger. Or exploit you in any kind of way.

Maggie: But they know who I am. You can’t tell me they don’t.

Ricky: They know you’re off limits.

Maggie: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GOD! Ricky!

Maggie starts freaking out and hyperventilating.

Ricky: Stop it! (grabs her shoulders, trying to calm her) Stop freaking out. I swear to you. You are safe with me. (takes her hands in his)

Maggie: How can you say that? How? How can you even think that? Do they know where I live?

Ricky looks at her.

Maggie: You’ve spent the night hundreds of times of course they do! Oh my god!

Ricky: Relax, it’s not you they are concerned with. It’s me. Look the timing of my exit has to be perfect. If I screw it up, they will not let me walk away without a fight. I need to make sure that everything is in order before I give my final notice. If I don’t secure a replacement, the right replacement, they will take that as an insult. Vouching for my own replacement is me giving them my assurance that I will not disclose any information to outsiders. If my exit isn’t planned perfectly my higher ups will disown me, and that in CIA terms means I’m dead.

Maggie: CIA? I thought you were just in the mob?

Ricky: No. That’s just my cover. I had to have a cover job in place so that I won’t be suspected, because otherwise I’m useless and can be used as collateral damage, should they need to spring clean.

Maggie: Spring clean?

Ricky: Knock out the old guys and bring in the newly trained young ones.

Maggie: And by knockout you mean kill?

Ricky: Pretty much.

Maggie: Thank you! By all means make my case for me! This is dangerous either way. All of it. For both of us. And anyone else… involved. (she catches herself and looks away quickly)

Ricky: (noticing) Do you want me alive or not?

Maggie: Of course I do.

Ricky: Then cut me a break here, Maggie. I am skating on thin ice just by telling you this.

Maggie: Oh my god. Is Ricky even your real name? Oh my god, I’m sleeping with a man I don’t even know!

Ricky: That’s not true. You know me. I haven’t lied to you about how I feel about you. And I haven’t lied to you about my name either. My name is Ricky. They call me by an alias name.

Maggie: Oh great. My boyfriend has an alias. Just what every girl dreams of hearing.

Ricky grabs her by the face and kisses her.

Maggie: Why’d you do that? (she says in a daze, her head all foggy)

Ricky: Because I’m your boyfriend. (he smiles)

Maggie: That just came out. I-

Ricky: Nope can’t take it back. I won’t let you. (he smirks at her and Maggie’s heart melts) Let my driver take you home, I’ll come see you later.

He kisses her on the cheek.

Maggie: Ricky…

Ricky turns back toward her.

Maggie: Be safe.

Ricky: You know I will. We have a future to plan. (he winks and walks away.)

Maggie looks after him, even more confused than before.

Ricky’s driver: Excuse me miss? Where to?

Maggie smiles faintly getting into the car.

To be continued…

-<3-

What’s next for Ricky and Maggie?

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Do they have what it takes?

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* I do not take credit of any images used in my edits or otherwise, or any gifs used. *

Two girls, in a coffee shop…

Two girlfriends sitting in a café sharing a couple of pastries and cappuccinos. The first let’s call her… “Curious”…the second well let’s call her “Knowledgeable.”

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Curious: What does it feel like when your heart breaks into a million pieces?

Knowledgeable: Oh…you’ve never felt it?

Curious: No. Never had the pleasure.

Knowledgeable: (laughs sarcastically) Consider yourself lucky.

Curious: Why?

Knowledgeable: Because it sucks.

Curious: Well I’m sure it does. But-

Knowledgeable: Just think of feeling like things are finally going your way, falling into place and just when you let yourself believe that, your walking down the street one minute smiling and you’ve got a spring in your step and then boom the street below your feet vanishes, and your falling, and you don’t have any concept of why or what you’re gonna grab onto.

Curious: But at least you’ve been in love right? You got to be a part of something beautiful.

Knowledgeable: I wouldn’t exactly call love beautiful, it’s PAIN-ful. That’s what it is.

Curious: So this person that broke your heart…do you still love him?

Knowledgeable: (sighs) Can I plead the fifth on that one? (laughs)

Curious: Sorry.

Knowledgeable: No. Don’t be. You’re not the first person to ask me that. I just haven’t wanted to face that reality yet. So I usually lie but I don’t wanna lie to you.

Curious: Well maybe that’s because you know it was worth it. And that’s a hard concept for you to process.

Knowledgeable: What was?

Curious: The pain…was worth what you had, what you got to experience, how you got to feel about another human being. Even if it ended badly at least you know it’s out there. At least you can attest to the fact that it’s not a myth.

Knowledgeable: What? Love? Oh hunny love is a myth. At least true love is.

Curious: So what you had with this guy…it wasn’t true?

Knowledgeable: For me it was, for him probably not. That’s the painful part. Getting hurt and not knowing what happened or not knowing why. Falling in love just leaves you with a lot of questions and empty answers.

Curious: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but for someone who was once so in love, you sound really bitter and cynical about the whole concept.

Knowledgeable: I’m not. I’m just venting.

Curious: So you still believe in love?

Knowledgeable: I believe in hope, and fate and a little bit of destiny. And mixed together and baked at 350 degrees they got to be good for something right? (laughs taking a bite of her pastry)

Curious: Or maybe that guy wasn’t capable of handling how amazing you are. Maybe you just haven’t found a guy… man enough to handle you yet. (smiling at her friend)

Knowledgeable: Isn’t that the truth, (laughs and raises her coffee cup to her friend)

Both: Cheers! (the friends say as they clink their coffee cups together.)

Their gazes shift to an elderly couple sitting together on a bench just outside the café. The friends share a knowing smile.

-End Scene-

-<3-

* I do not take credit for the image used. *

“He Said, She Said.” – A Dialogue

“He Said, She Said.”

A follow-up to “She Said.”

he she said edit

He Said: Hey…He Said She Said edit

She Said: Hey.

He Said: You look good.

She Said: I know. (she smirks)

He Said: (he smiles and looks at his feet nervously) How are you?

She Said: I’m really good. (she smiles simply but it’s genuine)

He Said: Good.

She Said: And you?

He Said: I’ve seen better days.

She Said: Haven’t we all. (she laughs) It’ll pass. Some days are good, some aren’t.

He Said: I know this is in poor taste to bring this up but-

She Said: Then don’t. It won’t really make a difference at this point.

He Said: Maybe not. But I just- I need to say something…

She Said: Okay.

He Said: I’m sorry. And I know that’s lame and I’ve said it countless times before. But I really am sorry. I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry that I hurt you and our relationship. Basically I’m just so sorry for how we left things. I really hate that the last memory you have of me is a rotten one.

She Said: Yea, well the whole situation pretty much sucked. But what can you do right. What’s done is done. It’s all in the past now.

He Said: I feel like you hate me. And I totally deserve it but-

She Said: I don’t hate you.

He Said: You don’t? (he says in shock)

She Said: I’m sure at some point I thought I did. (she laughs) But I don’t really believe in hate… I mean even if you hate someone, it’s still a feeling, you still have some kind of feeling toward them. And to me, hate is just a gateway to love. Even if you hate someone you probably have some love for them too or at least you used to. So I don’t believe in hate. I don’t hate you.

He Said: You’re kind of amazing you know that?

She Said: Obviously. (flips her hair behind her shoulder dramatically)

They share a laugh like old times.

He Said: So you still believe in love?

She Said: Oh absolutely. But you already knew that. So why are you asking? (she laughs)

He Said: I guess I just needed to hear that I didn’t ruin it for you.

She Said: (laughs) Someone’s a little full of himself. And you wonder why we never worked out. Hmmm? (she rolls her eyes and laughs making light of their situation)

He Said: I just meant…I’m sorry. (he shakes his head in frustration with himself)

She Said: It’s okay. I get that your nervous.

He Said: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rehearsed this conversation in my head. I guess I didn’t expect you to be so nice to me. I’m losing my cool.

She Said: Well considering you were never that cool…that’s not saying much- (she laughs)

He Said: (laughs) Why are you being so nice…are you secretly plotting your revenge? (he raises his eyebrows)

She Said: Nah. I’m just a better person than you. (she fakes seriousness, then laughs)

He Said: No that’s actually true though.

She Said: Forgive yourself. I have. Life’s too short to live in regret…to live in the past.

He Said: Have you?….Forgiven me?

She Said: Look at me…do I look unhappy to you?

He Said: No. You look amazing, and you seem happier then I’ve ever seen you. Way happier than you ever were with me.

She Said: And it’s not even an act. (she smiles) Look after we broke up, everything just kind of fell into place. And I really went for the things I wanted, things that I realized I was holding myself back from. So I guess in some twisted way you cheating was a blessing in disguise. 

He Said: Wow. Well then I’m really happy for you. I just wish I treated you better when I had the chance. You were worth it. That’s my biggest regret.

She Said: Well…I appreciate that.

He Said: Well now at least you know what not to look for in a relationship right? (he laughs)

She Said: You’re not a bad guy. You just need to learn how to let people in. Learn how to let a woman love you, that way you can learn to love them back.

He Said: I did love you. I need you to know that. I need you to believe that.

She Said: Oddly enough I do.

He Said: Good… Do you think we could ever give it another shot?

She Said: No. (she laughs)

He Said: Sorry. Can’t blame a guy for trying right?

She Said: I suppose not. (she laughs, shaking her head)

He Said: Whoever gets to marry you…is one lucky guy.

She Said: I’ll tell him you said so.

He Said: Have you met him yet?

She Said: I think so.

He Said: Good for you. (they share smiles and understandings) I guess I should get going.

She Said: Okay. It was good to talk to you. Good Luck. (she gives him a goodbye hug)

He Said: Thanks for hearing me out. And for being as graceful as I remember you to be.

She Said: Oh you know… that’s just how I am. (she shrugs and laughs)

He Said: I’ll see ya. (he waves, smiles and begins to walk away)

She Said: Bye.

He Said: (he turns back toward her) Hey… if you say hate is an extension of love and you believe in love, but you don’t believe in hate. Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron?

She Said: Hasn’t anyone ever told you…everything in life is an oxymoron.

They both smile at each other one last time before they go their separate ways.

~The End.~

 

*I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR ANY OF THE ACTUAL IMAGES USED WITHIN THESE EDITS.*

-<3-

“She Said.” – A Monologue

 

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They fell in love

He cheated

She found out

 So…this is the aftermath

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Capture 2She Said:

 I do believe that you love me, or that you think you do. And I do believe that you’re sorry, or that you think you are. But I can’t say that I think that’s enough. You can say she didn’t mean anything, that it was one time and the last time. But that doesn’t mean I believe it. I can’t trust you. That’s basically what it comes down to. I gave you my heart and you chose to break it. You chose to. You knew what you were doing. You knew it would hurt me, you knew it would hurt us. Break us. But you did it anyway. That just goes to show how little you know about love, and what it actually means to fall into it and to value it. Sometimes people don’t deserve a second chance, because it’s only risking another disappointment. It’s okay though. What you did is not okay. We are not okay. But I am. Or at least I will be. Because, I think a part of me knew you would hurt me. I think every girl deep down kind of expects it. And I don’t think that’s being a pessimist, but a realist. Guys will come and go. They will make you fall and then rip the rug out from under you. But like I said, it’s okay. We will survive, we will move on. And one day a man will come along and surprise us. We will wait for our feet to hit cold tiled floor, but that day won’t come, and then we’ll know. Then we’ll feel it. He’s it. He’s the one. And he won’t make you cry, but instead pick you up and make all the cries and lessons that came before all somehow seem worth it. You just have to be patient. He may be closer than you think. Look around. Say hi…smile.

 

* “She Said.” is just a small short two part story…check out the following post “He Said, She Said.” To get both sides!

He Said She Said edit

*I do not take any credit for any of the actual photos used within my edits*

 

-<3-