All in good time, Love.

A text conversation between a young woman and the faceless man of her dreams.

 all in good time love text

 

Hello?

                                                                            ….

Are you there?

                                                                           ….

Where are you?

Why haven’t you come to find me?

                                                                            All in good time, Love.

But I’ve waited so long?

                                                                            So have I.

So then why won’t you show me your face?

                                                                             Our paths have crossed, I’m sure.

Have they?

                                                                              Yes.

Well why didn’t you just say hi?

                                                                               You weren’t ready.

How do you know?

                                                                                Because I know you. I know your heart.

Well I’m ready now.

                                                                                Are you?

I feel like time is passing…I feel like I’m failing.

                                                                                I can help with that.

So does that mean you will show me your face?

                                                                                I’m not entirely sure.

Why do you keep me waiting?

                                                                                I want it to be perfect.

Life isn’t perfect.

                                                                                But this has to be. You deserve nothing less.

Just the fact that you can say something like

that, means the world to me. 

                                                                                Love is not a time sensitive thing. We        

                                                                                don’t have to rush this. We just have to be 

                                                                                willing to open our hearts and minds to the

                                                                                possibility that life may never be the same,

                                                                                if we do this. Are you okay with that? 

I’m not going to lie, it scares me. But for love,

I’d be willing to risk it.

                                                                                  There’s something here. I’m all in. Are you?

….

                                                                                    Hello?

….

                                                                                    Are you there?

                                                                                     I’ve scared you away haven’t I?

Not at all love, I look forward to meeting you.

                                                                                     I’ll be seeing you.

I’ll be waiting.

text story

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits.*

-<3-

 

                                                                               

                                                                                 

                                                                                

                                                                            

 

Time Talk

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Time

As we get older I think we face new versions of peer pressure. Pressure to date, pressure to find a job, pressure to move out, get married, and make a life for yourself. Basically pressure to grow up and learn how to be an adult. Time. Tick Tock. What a bitch. There’s not enough time in a day let alone in a lifetime. We make to do lists and wish lists and time runs away with us, or from us. We are brought into this world with parents by our side. Tick tock the clock starts, the minute our eyes open, the minute our feet hit the ground, we’re running. Minutes turn into hours, Days turn into years. Before you know it playing with baby dolls and kitchen sets become so close to reality. The things we play as children mirror future life. Isn’t it ironic? Ideas of Love, Marriage, and Babies flood our minds. Leaving childhood homes and venturing out on our own. Lost in confusion, in this time of uncertainty. Tick tock, Tick tock. Time flies by and you wake up and wonder, Why? Where am I? Where have I been? What have I done? Where should I be? Time doesn’t stand still although it seems. But you feel as you do. Still. Stuck. Make your own schedule. Your own timeline. You can’t put expiration dates on dreams. Love isn’t a time sensitive thing. Don’t follow the curve. Be a little different. Dance to the beat on your own funky off beat drum. Be patient. You will get there. Your time will come. Go forth. Head held high. Heart on sleeve. Grab a pen and write your own story. It’s a movie and you’re the star. Fade In. What’s your opening scene? Live it. And if you can’t get it right the first half a dozen times, fake it until you make it. Because let’s be honest even the most adult people in the world still have a little bit of naïve child left in them, never lose that.

-<3-

Is vulnerability a bad thing?

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There are things in life, I think we all have difficulties dealing with.

That urge to feel loved and accepted. Wanting to feel understood. Wanting to feel like our thoughts matter.

Starting a new journey in life. A new school, a new job, a new relationship.

Dealing with things that scare you. Fear can be crippling.

Anxiety, stress, depression. Death.

It is human nature to feel overwhelmed when your world dims and you feel like you’re slipping into darkness.

And when that happens it is also human nature to feel your feelings. To cry, to be angry, to want to yell and scream and stomp around like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

But what stops us from doing so?

Fear of being judged for feeling. For succumbing to life’s deepest heartaches.

I hate crying in front of people. I hate showing my deepest worries. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bother to others around me, or a sign that I’m not strong enough to handle what life has handed me.

For some reason we’ve been conditioned to feel ashamed of our emotions. To feel that if we somehow lay our cards out on the table for people to see, that somehow that makes us weak. So we hide it, or we let it all out in private.

I’m starting to try to let go of that. I’m trying to embrace the emotions and the feelings I have at the moment, and just ride that wave and cry it out. You’d be surprised how the weight that you’ve been carrying gets a little lighter after you’ve talked to someone, and had a good cry. The downsides are sometimes a splitting headache, puffy red swollen eyes, and the emotional drain and feelings of fatigue. However, sometimes it’s just the price you have to pay for an emotional release.

It’s been said that to be strong for someone else you have to be a rock. You have to hold in your emotions so that you can be there for them, because it isn’t about you. It’s about being there for them, and showing support. Letting them do all the crying while you just continue being the shoulder they need to lean on.

Are we robots? Are we not supposed to feel for someone going through a difficult time?

Sometimes no matter how hard you try your emotions will come, and if you are pushing them down so far, they will just build up until you explode.

I’ve carried this notion around with me for almost my whole life. That the best thing you can do to support someone in their time of need is to lock up your heart and keep it together.

Pull yourself together girl.

But as human beings isn’t it natural to feel for others. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. To feel what someone else is feeling. To be there with them. To cry with them. To put yourself in their shoes and to understand their pain. I don’t think tears are a sign of weakness, in fact I think it’s a sign of how strong we all are. How we can cry and get it all out and then somehow manage to pull ourselves back up and continue this journey of life.

Life isn’t easy. It is filled with scary what ifs and sometimes they overcast their darkness on what should be a beautiful experience. Life is meant to be lived and yet we get caught up in the fear. The fear of the unknown. Wondering what the next day would bring or what our futures held for us, used to be an exciting notion. As kids we’d dream about what we’d be when we’d grow up, and how our lives could be so grand. Dreams were at our finger tips.

So what changed? Why has society allowed simple human beings to feel as though being vulnerable is a bad thing? Because if you ask me, if we were all more honest and forth coming with our emotions the world would be a much more simpler, and happier place. We’d be happier.

Sure wearing your heart on your sleeve isn’t always going to work out. Sometimes you’ll get your heart-broken, sometimes the people you trust can disappoint you and may not react the way you’d like them to. But risking it can be worth it. Because in your heart of hearts you’ll know you were honest. You were human. It takes courage to be brave and show your heart.

So the next time you feel like the world is getting the best of you, don’t be afraid to feel it. Don’t be afraid to show it, or to cry it out. I know its taboo and it’s hard to be so vulnerable in front of others. But if you show who you are to people, they may just show you who they are. Your family and your friends care about you, and I am sure they only want to help you. Showing them your vulnerable side may just bring you all that much closer. It also may give them the freedom to feel like they can confide in you when they feel they need someone to talk to. There can be something so beautiful and inspiring about transparency. I’ve had so many candid, uncensored conversations with friends about real things, and I’ve never walked away regretting being vulnerable with them. Because I found that in way, we all deal with similar things.

It’s a slow process; learning that it’s ok to be vulnerable. I know. I am still working on it myself. And I still find that I stifle my emotions at times. But I’m learning that you don’t always have to do that. You can’t control how you feel. You should never have to feel like what you’re feeling is wrong. No one can ever tell you how to feel. They are your feelings. So own them.

*I’ll leave you with this for some inspiration… ❤

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any music, links, or images used.*

Only Human

I’m only human

made up of flesh and bones

My best may not always be done

try as I might

mistakes are bound to be made

sometimes life gets in the way

I’m only human

I feel without explanations

Or explanations that run short of validation

We all do

We all are

We are only human

Lost in confusion

And not knowing where we go next

perfection is just an illusion we place in our minds

So take a breath

just breathe

in…

out…

Take your time

Count to ten if you have to

If that works for you

Forgive

Life is not a race

Understand even when you may not

there’s a plan in motion

maybe not one of your own

maybe not one you can control

But a larger one

Be kind to your imperfections

life knows what it’s doing

even if you don’t

Just hold on tight

hold on with all your might

And enjoy the ride

the ride of life

Smile

let yourself be surprised

and if those surprises are filled with despair

know that you can fight until the storm lays still

The clouds will soften

the rain will stop

the sun will shine bright

Celebrate

give it all you’ve got

Make your memories

tell your stories

And know that someone always holds your hand

We are only human

Be the best YOU, you can be

Life will take care of the rest

 

-<3-

Writer’s Corner

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“What do you want to write?”

When you think of someone saying they want to be a writer, what form of writing pops into your mind? I imagine it’s an array of things in which you question. Novels? Short Stories? Poetry? Plays? Fiction? Non Fiction? Romance? Mystery? Do they want to write for films or maybe for television? Now imagine the confusion you feel just having all those possibilities jumbled up in your mind. All the differences, yet similarities all those forms share. That’s how most writers feel every day. That pull and push of which direction they should go, which writing style suits their heart and soul best. Their minds want them to do one thing but maybe their hearts whisper something entirely different to them in secret. Writers feel emotions deeply. But the main thing I’ve learned in my search to choose, is that all forms hold creativity at their core. It’s about heart. So I have to wonder, is it better to dabble in many different things, and be good in each, or is it better to focus all your energy in being great in one specific thing? Since when has being a jack of all trades been considered a bad thing? Since when is being interested and experimenting in all different things, a bad thing? I’m just wondering here, myself. Can a writer really bridge all gaps and form them into one. Poetry or Short Stories? TV or film?  Are our writer’s hearts big enough for them all? Why must we choose? Why can’t we do them all? We can. And we will. As writers, we don’t have a choice. Stories come into mind, and capture our hearts, and no matter how long they take us to get them out, eventually a story will be told, heart in hand.

* I do not take credit for the image used. *

-<3-

The Nostalgic Generation- 90’s Babies this one’s for you!

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The reunion epidemic.

The Backstreet Boys

That Bogus 30 second *NSYNC reunion

The Spice Girls

Boy Meets World…Girl Meets World

Full House…Fuller House

The constant tricks of a F.R.I.E.N.DS. reunion

All making comebacks and bringing us back into a world we once treasured and still do.

Awesome? Or should we leave well enough alone.

Should stories be reinvented and revisited to fit current times or should they have ended where they did?

Just a memory.

Is this nostalgic culture hindering our plans to move forward?

 The 90’s kids have been labeled the nostalgic generation.

As a ‘91 baby, I can attest to that first hand.

The past decade has left such an imprint on my soul that it both excites and pains me to see something from that time.

Buzzfeed you get me.

Lisa Frank and Smackers lip products take on a whole new meaning to me now.

Back then they were just the cool fun thing, now they are the epitome of my childhood brought to the surface.164416_10200389704846400_855351744_n[1]

Why?

Because it brings me back there.

To something that has long since been over.

The simplicity of it.

The carefree nature of a child is untouchable.

The idea that the world is this open, honest forum to do with what you please.

This idea that you can be anything and everything you want.

No limitations.

No restrictions.

No time restraints.

No-one telling you, you can’t or you won’t make it.

Just dreams and awe.

And the possibility for anything.

The possibilities were endless.

One day maybe you’ll be a ballerina!

The next a teacher!

The day after that a ballet teacher!

The future was grand.

But now those 90’s babies are in their 20’s and the real world is kicking in and we are realizing it moves faster than we ever could have thought. And that maybe it’s not as nice as we thought either. That it’s going to take a little more than wishing on a star to make your dreams come true.

Enter the internet and boom…total chaos!

Growing up I never had a laptop. I was lucky I had a house computer.

But I would get yelled out for being on it for too long, because well you couldn’t get through to the house phone if someone was on the internet. Let’s hear it for dialup!

We didn’t have Facebook, or twitter, or instagram. We didn’t have ways of competing with our peers past the face to face contact we were forced to endure. Sometimes they were pleasant sometimes they weren’t. Some friendships last a lifetime, some don’t.

I didn’t even have my own cellphone until I got to high school, up until middle school I shared one with my mom! #firstworldproblems

It wasn’t until I was in high school that I even considered getting a Myspace.

And even then the thought of putting my life online creeped me out.

And yet a decade later here I am typing this to you, sharing my thoughts with people I don’t know.

Things really do change.

Now, if you’re not on all these platforms you’re somehow deemed irrelevant or let’s face it… a hermit.

I think change can be good, but it’s dealing with that change and accepting it that makes it hard for us to move on.

Because maybe we convince ourselves that the best years are gone.

When really we haven’t seen anything yet.

So it’s ok to feel nostalgic.

Just don’t allow yourself to dwell in it.

I really need to learn to take my own advice.

If you find yourself mourning the past, understand you’re not alone, we’re in this together.

Because there is always going to be a next chapter.

There are going to be new faces, new adventures, new locations, new things that are going to come in and out of your life.

Some may be easier to let go of then others.

Some may fight their way into your heart and stay for good.

But you will always have your memories no matter what. So take your real pictures along with your mental pictures and hold them in your heart. Because some moments you can’t catch on camera.

Because one day you’re gonna be telling your kids all about the 90’s and 00’s and maybe they’ll be into it.

And you can relive it with a fond memory with your feet rooted in the present. Because where you’ve been is important, but where you’re going is even better. Be present. And enjoy. And keep your fingers crossed for a real freakin *NSYNC reunion..(I’m never letting that one go!) 😉 #FangirlLife #SorryNotSorry

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****Some pics of me in the 90’s with my best friend!****

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Notice…my best friend dressed up as baby spice for Halloween…too bad I didn’t get a shot of her in her pleather shiny pink jacket.

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Playing Dress Up. I was clearly getting married and she was my maid of honor. #goodtimes

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Check out my paten leather BABY blue back pack…oh baby blue was a major thing! #IBlameJustinTimberlake

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HOLY BANGS!!!!!

-<3-

Reasons Why I Continuously Wish My Life Was Like A Gilmore Girls Episode

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Gilmore Girls [Season 1] Recap…

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1. Their junk food/ movie watching nights.

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2. Rory’s list of sexy boyfriends. #Jess you were my favorite.

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3. The town of Starshollow. (I want to live there!)

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4. Luke’s Diner.

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5. Their ability to eat like pigs and never gain weight.

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6. Christopher finally stepping up and being the man Lorelai always wanted. (I loved Luke, but these two just fit so perfectly)

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7. Their undeniable sense of humor; quick witted I must say!

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8. Their one liner zings/comebacks

9. Their witty banter/rapid fire dialogue… [chalk that up to their immense intake of caffeine]

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10. Friday Night Dinner at the Gilmore house hold aka the stuffy grandparents, oh to be a fly on the wall just to witness the craziness!

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11. SOOKIE ST. JAMES! [Melissa McCarthy I can say I knew you when…] 😉

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By The Way…if you have never watched Gilmore Girls (or if you just want to rewatch), do yourself a favor….it’s coming to Netflix October 1st!

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#UhOh #ImInTrouble

-<3-